Life in Vain: Jobless Reincarnation

Part 1

Stella had turned one year old. However, she was bigger and more coordinated than a normal one year old. To begin with, she could change her self, feed herself, and even walk around by herself. No more being picked up and carried around! Freedom at last!

But with that freedom came a very important realization.

It turned out, Nii-chan was *really* holding himself back. Maybe since he was scared to hurt her or get her caught in the crossfire of his experiments, he was never too far away and never got too focused on his experiments or other people.

But now that Stella was mostly independent, he went all out.

Right now, for example.

The Greyrat family were on a trip across the ocean to another country called Milis or something. To do that, they were riding a boat.

Stella was under the impression that Nii-chan had hired a whole crew to maneuver the ship. But that wasn't the case.

The only people on the ship were her, Norn, Ena, Eos, Roland, Sylphy, Eris, and Rudy.

Well, Fai, Wata, and Wyn were there too, but they didn't really count.

Among the people on the ship, Eris, Ena, and Norn were holed up below deck because they were seasick and Sylphy was taking care of them all. Roland was on monster duty, killing whatever monster was dumb enough to get close. And Eos was navigating by reading the winds... or something.

Stella wasn't sure about how that worked, but Eos *was* the leader of the Survey Corps.

In any case, this was a whole ship. Something that took an entire crew to run. Even back on Earth, you wouldn't be able to pilot a whole cruise ship by yourself. And this was definitely qualified as a cruise ship.

So the fact that it didn't have a crew was ridiculous.

But Stella had forgotten. Nii-chan was even more ridiculous.

Standing at the front of the ship, Rudy stood with an array of magic formations spread out in front of him. An array of magic formations that created a very convenient user interface that he could use to check on every part of the ship and control it like a video game.

A video game that he was playing with a Pl*ystation controller.

Did he map all the parts of the ship to the buttons?

When Rudy pressed the 'x' button, a wind started up, pushing the ship forward with the sails. When he pressed 'o', the water itself seemed to pull the ship back, slowing it down.

In short...

"...Life really is just a game to Nii-chan, huh?"

Stella sighed and flopped onto the deck, staring up at the clear blue sky.

"What should I be doing then?"

She was wrong. Stella thought that she was the main character for a bit, but it was obviously Nii-chan. Not only that, but she got swept up in his flow so much that she actually had just started to become a two-bit gag character like he said.

The token cute baby mascot character. That was what she became.

Even Norn had more main character energy than Stella! Nee-chan wasn't even ten, but she had a rival, a friend, and all of that sword-fighting talent. If it wasn't for the fact that she was a sword fighter instead of a magician, Stella would have thought Nee-chan was a magical girl protagonist.

...Or maybe Stella should stop thinking about the world in terms of anime and manga? She wasn't even an otaku before she died. That was more Aki.

...Hah. Maybe things would get simpler when she met her dad. Nee-chan said that he was a Sword God, so he had to be super serious and competent, right? He could put some common sense back into Stella's Nii-chan and sort him out-

"Alright! All hands on deck!" Rudy glanced back and said, "I'm putting this thing into high gear!"

Wait.

Stella sat up and saw Roland tap the deck, subtly securing his footing by sending spikes of silvery mana into the wood. Eos didn't do that, but she swirled a green wind around her, pressing her down.

The others would be fine since they were below deck...

Ah. Actually, considering they were all seasick, it would probably be terrible for them. But-

"I've got you, Stella!" Wata materialized and then quickly made an ice chair and fastened it to the ship.

The moment he did that-

"Kyaaaaaa!"

-Stella screamed as the ship flew across the ocean at what felt like mach speed.

And she wasn't the only one screaming.

"RUDY!"

"BIG- grk. BROTHER!"

"Uuuuu. Daddy, stop it..."

Rudy froze and then cleared his throat. "Sorry about that." He snapped his fingers and the ship suddenly became smoother. It was still going at a breakneck speed, but the turbulence was gone. "Forgot to account for the acceleration."

...This was going to be a long trip, wasn't it? Why couldn't Nii-chan have just teleported them all to the next continent?

...Oh right. Because Nii-chan said he might accidentally teleport them into the future or the past since his mana is so strong and he hasn't been there in person.

Hah... When will the world make sense again?

-SNG-

Part 2

"Ugh..." Eris shook her head and said, "I don't care if we look like we're taking over the world. Next time, we're flying."

Norn nodded and said, "I agree, Big Sis... I don't get why people like the ocean..."

Ena shuddered and said, "I wasn't meant to travel the seas..."

A chorus of complaints echoed from trio who were seasick the entire ride.

After Rudy docked the ship, those three immediately ran off onto the dock.

Sylphy followed after them and giggled. "You're all silly. It's just a bit of water."

Eris glared at Sylphy and said, "I don't want to hear that from a woman who froze the ocean to reach the Magic Continent."

"It was just more convenient that way." She glanced back at Roland and said, "You agree, don't you, Rolo?"

Roland adjusted his helmet, making sure his green hair was concealed, and then he nodded. "Since White Mama is that strong, it would be more convenient."

"See?"

"Getting backup from an alternate future son isn't fair, Sylphy."

Sylphy shrugged and walked off the ship onto the dock, Roland trailing after her.

*Ugh.* Fai's voice echoed in Stella's head. *I agree with those three. Water is icky.*

Wyn's voice echoed too. *Same. It looks fun to watch and comfy to listen to when you sleep, but urgh...*

Wata's voice echoed after that. *You two just don't appreciate water's blessings. But you aren't water spirits, so I suppose that's natural...*

Stella shook her head and then adjusted her backpack before glancing back.

Eos had gone ahead to talk with the people at the port to sort out logistics or something while Nii-chan was... making a new group of knights?

Not only that, but when did Nii-chan dye his hair brown? *How* did he dye his hair brown?

Rudy finished talking to the knight and then headed over to Stella. Smiling, he placed his hand on her head and said, "Sorry about that. Had to manage the return details. You got everything, Stella?"

"Of course. But I don't know if everyone else did."

"Don't worry about them." Rudy waved his hand and said, "I knew they'd rush out, so I put everything in my pocket space dimension already."

"Pocket-" Stella blinked and said, "Nii-chan."

Rudy grabbed Stella's hand and started walking off the ship with her. "Yes, Imouto?"

"Just what *were* you?"

"After a lot of soulsearching and reflection, I've come to the objective opinion that I was a genius who spent way too much time trying to learn everything about the world instead of learning to appreciate life and family until it was too late." He shrugged and said, "Nothing big. You?"

"...Um." Stella blushed and muttered, "I didn't think you'd answer me..."

"Of course I'd answer you. Even if you aren't actually a genius baby girl, you're still my baby sister. Besides, I didn't think I'd meet across another person lucky enough to reincarnate with their memories intact." He paused and said, "Well, I guess your memories are probably more intact than mine are at least."

"Hm?" Stella tilted her head and said, "What do you mean?"

Rudy walked onto the dock and then let go of Stella's hand, ruffling her hair. "We'll talk later. I'm really curious to learn more about my imouto's life, so we can have fun chatting afterwards. Right now though..."

Rudy adjusted his white coat, causing a cross to appear on his sleeve, and then flicked his wrist, materializing a silver staff with incricate runework on its surface with a glistening blood diamond at the top.

Something that looked insanely expensive...

Which he promptly used as a walking stick.

Stella shook her head and said, "Nii-chan likes being flashy, huh?"

"If there's anything I've learned in the past year, it's that appearing strong and rich makes life a lot easier." He paused and then looked up ahead.

Stella followed his gaze and then saw that a crowd was forming.

Because of course it would considering how beautiful Eris Nee-chan and Sylphy Nee-chan were, let alone Ena...

Was she still Nee-chan if Stella was her Aunt?

...Yes. For her peace of mind, Stella was calling Ena Nee-chan.

Anyway, it looked like a group of adventurers were trying to hit on Eris and Sylphy. The sort of gruff and forgettable men that would definitely show up in the episode when the main character arrives in town and...

Oh.

"Be right back, Stella." Rudy started taking big strides and said, "Keep an eye on her, Wata. And make sure to cover her eyes too."

Wata materialized and gave a salute to Rudy. "Got it, Chief!"

Rudy waved his right hand at Wata and kept walking. And then...

"Husband!" Eris ran towards Rudy and hugged him. "You're here!"

"Husband?" The lead adventurer, an ugly bald guy with a scar across his face... in short, the typical thug. He turned towards Rudy and scoffed. "This dandy? I'll show you what a- GRK!?"

A sudden surge of mana, forcing the man to his knees. Not only him, but every one of the people dumb enough to try and flirt with Eris, Sylphy, and Ena.

Rudy casually walked forward, tapping his staff along the ground while Eris walked beside him. They both came to a stop next to the other girls. After that, Rudy glanced at the crowd of people and smiled. "Wonderful. I was wondering how I would find a guide to lead me around this city." He focused his gaze on the adventurer who tried flirting with Eris and smiled. "Thank you for volunteering. Your intelligence isn't to my standard, but I do so appreciate your daring."

"You son of a-"

Everything suddenly went dark.

Stella panicked for a second and then realized that something furry was covering her eyes. She pouted and opened her mouth to scold Wata.

But then screams filled the air.

Screams that suddenly cut off with a wave of mana. And as a result of the silence, the sound of 'something' splashing into the water echoed. And then the sound of something else thumping onto the ground echoed too.

An eerie silence. After that, Rudy chuckled and said, "Oh my. It seems your friend lost his head there for a moment. Here, why don't I fix that?"

A snap. After that, there was another soft splash.

And then the wave of mana vanished.

At the same time, Stella could see again, Wata pulling his hands away.

When she did, she saw that the ground was covered in blood. The men that had been so confidently talking to Eris and Sylphy were kneeling on the ground, shaking as they averted their eyes.

And the bald man in the ground was frantically grabbing at his neck and staring at Rudy with wide-eyed terror. His clothes were also stained red with fresh blood... and his head was dripping with water.

Silence. And then the man stammered. "G-G-God-ranked...?"

"God-Ranked Healing Magician? Why yes. Yes I am. So... Are you happy to volunteer now? Or do your eyes need work too?"

"N-NO SIR!"

"Good. Then my daughter should have come pass here. I'm sure that you, as a man of such *high* caliber would have seen her. World class beauty, blonde hair, green eyes..."

"That was your daughter?!"

"Hm?"

"N-Nothing, Sir! A-And right this way!"

*W-Wow. Master Rudy is scary...*

...Okay. So like... Was Onii-chan an evil genius who took over the world in his past life? Because he is *way* too convincing at the evil overlord bit...

-SNG-

Part 3

"Are you sure you don't need my help, Stella?" Norn frowned as she watched Stella and said, "I can help you hold it."

Stella zipped up her backpack and said, "I can feed myself now, Nee-chan."

Sylphy giggled and said, "That's right." She stared at Stella and said, "Our cute little Stella is a big girl now."

Stella pouted and said, "You don't have to be mean, Sylphy nee-chan."

Sylphy smiled. "Sorry. But you're just so adorable, you know? You're so tiny, but you're acting so mature."

"Hmph." Stella huffed and sat down on the beach towel, drinking her formula from a sippy cup.

They were at the beach, relaxing while Rudy went off to do official business.

As for they, that included Stella, Norn, Sylphy, and both Ena and Eos.

Eris and Roland had gone along with Rudy for back up, leaving everyone else to unwind.

Fai plopped down next to Stella and started gathering sand up. "Finally! I've been wanting to play with this stuff since we got to Windport!"

Wata materialized and sat down on Stella's other side. As he did, he looked at Fai and said, "You are such a child, Fai."

"I'm older than you!"

"My point exactly."

Stella decided to ignore the usual banter of her spirit friends and focused her attention on Ena and Eos.

Because of Rudy's display at the docks, the beach was completely empty. It seemed like people got the memo and left them all alone.

Which left Ena free to run around in her favorite revealing leather strap outfit. Splashing in the water, she looked at Eos and said, "Okay! So the seas aren't *that* bad."

Eos frowned, tugging on her crimson shorts and bikini top. "...I still don't get why you like wearing this sort of stuff, Sis."

"Well, don't you feel more free? Clothes are usually so *tight*, you know?"

"We don't even have our wings out, so I think that's just you."

"Maybe? But you look better like that anyway, Sis! You're so pretty that it's a shame when you're wearing that stiff uniform."

"And you're so shameless that people will misunderstand when you act like that."

Stella set down her sippy cup and sighed.

Norn noticed and said, "Did you want to go play in the water too, Stella?" Her eyes brightened and she said, "I can take you!"

"Ooh!" Sylphy stood up and said, "That sounds fun! We can splash water and try catching each other while running in the tide!"

Stella gave both of them a blank look and said, "I'm tiny. The moment I step in the tide, I'm going to get pulled in by the undertow."

Wata stood up and said, "Don't worry, Stella! Water can't hurt you when I'm around! And if it does, I'll beat it up and turn it to dust!"

Stella pushed Wata over and said, "Silly. You can't pummel water into a pulp."

"Eh?" Sylphy tilted her head. "But I've done that?"

Stella stared at Sylphy. Then she let out a deep sigh. "Why does no one in my family have common sense?"

Norn shrugged. "Papa said common sense isn't very common." She paused and said, "He also said that Mama and Mama Lily had a lot of it though."

"And that explains why everyone's like this, huh?" Stella frowned.

Was that why they were still missing? Since they had common sense, were they being kept away somewhere to nerf them? But-

"Zenny!"

An excited female voice.

Stella blinked and looked up to see a woman with short blonde hair and clear blue eyes run up to Ena.

"Eh?" Norn blinked and looked surprised. "M-Mom?"

Sylphy frowned and said, "...No. She looks a lot like Miss Zenith, but she's not. And why would she say 'Zenny' if she was your mom?"

"...Oh. That's right. But..." Norn tilted her head.

Ena turned around, looking confused at the mystery woman.

Eos turned as well and frowned. "I think you are mistaken, Miss-"

A black blur. A hooded figure wearing a faded coat appeared behind Ena and started feeling her up.

"Nn~?!? N-No! St-Stop that!" Ena squirmed and tried pushing the man off, but he spun her around and laughed. A creepy and perverted male laugh.

Stella blinked.

In that time, a dozen icicles suddenly shot towards the hooded figure. Not only that, but a giant gust of wind shot towards the man as well.

Stella blinked again and Eos had somehow grabbed Ena, standing in front of her while Ena crouched on the ground, hugging herself and shaking.

The woman that Norn said looked like their mother stood up and held out her hands, looking apologetic.

At that time, Stella reached towards her necklace since it looked like the situation was serious. But before she could-

"BIG BROTHER! A PERVERT ASSAULTED ENA!"

Norn did first.

It was different.

When Stella called for help, Onii-chan showed up in a dramatic fashion and played up being a Demon Lord. He arrived in a cool way and took his time.

But when Norn called out...

An explosion.

Chunks of the air shattered like glass, showing a starry background. At the same time, Rudy shot out, swinging a crimson sword at the cloaked figure.

Stella couldn't follow what happened next.

All she knew was that one second, Ena and Eos were standing by the beach, and in the next they were sitting on the ground next to Sylphy. Not only that, but Eris and Roland were back too, both with swords drawn and letting out a really scary aura.

"W-Whoa there!" A gruff male voice echoed amidst the sound of clashing steel. "I-It was an honest mistake!"

Norn stiffened. "Wait..."

Sylphy paused as well and looked over. "That voice..."

Eris blinked and then facepalmed. "I *knew* that creep was going to cause an incident some time..."

An explosion of force, blowing sand all over the place. Rudy and the hooded figure clashing their swords in the middle of the beach.

Rudy's eyes were sharp, shining a bloody red.

As for the hooded figure...

The force from the impact blew his hood back, revealing his face.

Bright green eyes. Short, dirty blonde hair. A handsome face that was clean shaven.

Stella didn't recognize it. ...No. Staring at the guy, Stella felt that he was vaguely familiar.

But it looked like everyone else did.

"PAPA!" Norn shouted and said, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

The man...

Wait.

Did Norn just call that guy 'Papa?'

"N-Norn?" The handsome man looked over. "And that's Eris... Sylphy... Then the baby has to be Stella. So then this guy..." He paused and slowly turned his gaze back to Rudy. "Uh... Hi, Kid. When did your hair turn back- Bwaha?!"

Rudy slugged the man in the face and said, "You perverted motherfucker! How the hell do you get off feeling up your own granddaughter like that, huh?!"

"G-G-Granddaughter?! Wait, what do you-" The man froze and then covered his face. "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Zenny's going to kill me."

Rudy threw his sword away and said, "I'M going to kill you!" He ran forward to grab the man by his shirt.

"H-Hey!" The man slipped out from Rudy's grasp and said, "C-Calm down, Rudy!"

"I'll calm down when I smack you a few times! Let me get out this righetous fatherly anger on the guy who set such a terrible example!"

"W-W-Wait...! N-Norn! Help Papa out!"

"..." Norn gave 'Papa' a blank look and then turned her head to the side. "Hmph."

"Kuh!" 'Papa' clutched his chest, doubling over in shock.

And then he promptly got hit with a roundhouse kick, sending him flying through the air before landing face first onto the sand.

Sylphy took a deep breath.

Eris looked at her and nodded.

Rudy walked forward.

And then the three of them suddenly moved together and jumped on 'Papa', stomping him into the sand.

"You perverted creep!" Eris stomped on Paul's right hand and said, "Couldn't you hold it in? Or at least let it out in private by yourself!"

Sylphy ground the heel of her boot into Papa's back. "It's because of you! You told me all those stories and made me build up all that tension! Do you know how embarrassed I was after I jumped Rudy!?"

Rudy stomped on the man's face and said, "How do you like it now, huh? Motherfucker! *Dodge* you said. *Fight better* you said. Try dodging this, asshole!"

Stella blinked.

This...

She didn't want to believe it. So she turned to Norn and said, "Nee-chan?"

Norn looked over at Stella, pointedly ignoring the scene in front of her and said, "Yes, Stella?"

Stella pointed at the man on the ground and said, "...That's Papa?"

"That's right. And don't worry. Papa's stupid strong. Emphasis on stupid. He won't seriously get hurt from something like this."

At that time, the woman who looked like 'Mama' according to Norn walked over. "Um..." She looked at Norn and Stella and said, "...I guess you two must be my nieces?"

Norn tilted her head. "Niece? Are you Mama's sister then?"

The woman nodded. "That's right. I'm Therese, your Mom's younger sister. Um, sorry about the confusion." She looked over at Ena and then frowned. "...But you really look like Zenny."

Eos adjusted her glasses. "Of course. She is our grandmother, so it is only obvious we would look like her."

"Eh?"

Stella slowly sat down on the ground. After that, she patted her lap and said, "Wata. Come here."

Wata floated over and sat down. "Yes, Stella?"

Stella didn't say a word and just started patting him. After that, she picked up her sippy cup and started drinking again.

...Even in her past life, Stella hadn't had alcohol. But right now, she sure as hell wished she had a cup of it.

"Gah! Dad's sorry, okay?! It's just been so long and I've been holding it back-"

"I take it back! Scum doesn't change! Jumping a woman like that without her being able to resist... I'm telling Mama Lily! No, I'm taking Mama Lily and Mom and running away!"

"H-Hold on! Don't be so drastic!"

"Yeah! Tell him, Rudy!"

"Wait." Rudy suddenly stopped and said, "I have a better idea."

Before Stella could catch the flow of events, she was suddenly held in Rudy's arms. And also suddenly held up in front of 'Papa.'

Rudy let out a bright smile and said, "Stella. Meet your Dad."

Eris and Sylphy stepped back, letting the man sit up.

His face was scuffed up and his hair was covered in sand now. But he still looked pretty handsome.

It was clear where Onii-chan got his looks.

But.

'Papa' let out a nervous laugh and waved. "H-Hi there, Stella. I'm Paul, your Papa."

Stella turned to look at Rudy.

Rudy stared back, smiling.

"Onii-chan."

"Yes, Stella?"

She pointed at 'Papa' and said, "This guy. He's 'Papa'?"

"That's right."

"I see." Stella slowly turned to look at Paul.

Paul stared back, still smiling.

Stella nodded and then turned around to hug Rudy. "I take it back. Onii-chan is great. I don't need a Papa. Onii-chan is enough."

Right. If her dad was someone like *that*, Stella would prefer just pretending that Rudy was her dad the whole time.