Life in Vain: Jobless Reincarnation

A long walk down the stairs. It was convenient since I didn't have to find the proper stairs and make my way down there. But it was still annoying-

Wait.

I paused and then focused a bit of mana on my boots-

*BANG*

"Gah! Fucking-" I rubbed my head and then glared at the steely black ceiling.

It was undamaged. My head was too, but that hurt like hell.

"Alright. So maybe trying to levitate down stairs for the first time isn't the smartest idea..." I mumbled and then started walking again. But then I paused again to think.

Going up would be annoying, but if it was just going down...

There wasn't a need for anything complicated. And I'd made something similar a long time ago when I was helping Mama Lily bring back groceries. A custom wagon with ball-bearings...

Definitely too cramped for that right now. But just a small wagon- No. A sled was fine. So...

I focused and then conjured a small ice sled.

Super basic. More like a chair with skis than a sled, but it'd work.

After sitting down, I gave it a small push with wind magic... only to get immediately launched off and almost bang my head again.

"...Walking it is."

At least, until I figured out how to pull off the obviously evil levitation thing.

I was a Demon Lord (by occupation) so I definitely needed to pick that up at some point. I had the warping in and out down pat in my territory and could jump back in an instant if an emergency came up. But warping in new areas was still a bit wonky.

Maybe I could do it by a sort of telekinesis? Or maybe I should look into those nanomachine mana particle things and have them float me around.

A flurry of explosions from somewhere up above. Faint arguing from Eris and Sylphy.

I glanced back and frowned. "...It should be fine."

I would have been worried if the opponent wasn't practically immortal, but since Atofe had De*dpool levels of regen, she'd be fine.

Well unless Sylphy snapped and used her time-stop ice magic that just deleted people out of existence by freezing them in spacetime as the world kept moving.

Yeah. Sylphy was scary these days. Well, she had always been a bit scary in the past after meeting Eris, but she definitely got worse. Needed to get her to lighten up a bit more and spoil her so she doesn't go overboard.

Though maybe spoiling her would be bad? Spoiling a yandere feels like dumping gas onto a spark to start a fire instead of using coal...

But Sylphy was definitely super sweet and cuddly. And it wasn't like she was *crazy*. Just very clingy and afraid of losing me. Also extremely powerful.

Thankfully, Eris was there to help out.

Despite everything, Sylphy had a soft spot for Eris, so the two balanced each other out.

...I was getting a bit concerned for the inevitable confrontation with Master Roxy though. Sylphy never really got along with her, so-

"How embarrassing. To have to be saved by Father-in-law..."

A male voice. Young, but not childish. Someone in their early teens.

"This One disagrees! It is only natural that This One was saved by such a person! Kyahahaha!"

A female voice. That one *was* childish.

I looked down and saw two people walking up the stairs.

The first was Kishirika, as expected. Though, instead of her usual awkward outfit, she was wearing a blue pajama set that looked a bit like an actual prison outfit.

The second... A young teen with short dark brown hair and 'M' shaped bangs. Someone who usually worked as an intermediary between the different groups in Arcadia due to his position as the son... No, it was grandson, right?

Anyway, that guy was the grandson of the Milis Pope.

And as expected from such a lineage, he was also a bonafide genius who managed to reach Advanced-Rank in every major branch of magic through self-teaching.

...His personality though...

Well. To sum it up, I picked the guy up with Ena in the past when we were first clearing out the initial dungeons around my territory. Apparently, he had been adventuring in some dungeons by Milis and somehow ended up in the Magic Continent after a few years.

When we found him, he had been stuck in a barrier trap with a constantly spawning monster box... And somehow or another he ended up professing love to Ena and declaring me his Father-in-law after she tried to use that to hide from his earnest love confession.

In short... I didn't know how to react around him.

I had only recently started coming to terms with the fact that Ena and Eos were my daughters, so hearing Father-in-law all the time from that guy...

It was weird.

Still, I didn't let that show and instead gave him a faint smile. "You made a good attempt, Cliff. Though I would suggest not risking your life for someone like this next time."

Kishirika started nodding, but then she stopped and pointed at me. "What are you saying about This One?!"

I stared at her and said, "That you're going to be on time outwith Rika for the next year because you can't be trusted being by yourself."

Kishirika flinched. "B-But..."

"You made Norn cry and ask for me to save you. Be thankful I didn't kill you and turn you back into an infant so she can take care of you-" I paused. "On second thought..."

Stella could use a friend. And according to Rika, the personality reset a little bit when she was younger before her memories came back, so if we played the cards right...

Kishirika paled and quickly bowed down. "T-This One understands! P-P-Please don't erase her personality!"

"Hoh?" I stared at her and said, "I didn't know you could read minds. Or see that far into the future."

Kishirika started to shake like a leaf.

Cliff looked up at me and frowned. "Father-in-law... Isn't that enough?"

"...Again, I would prefer it if you called me Rudy, Cliff."

"I could never!" An immediate denial. Cliff shook his head and said, "Father-in-law is already so great. And Ena would look down on me for being impolite. ...Also Eos would smack me around for being rude."

It looked like I would need to have some more father-daughter bonding time to discuss things in the near future...

Also, that closed door meditation was sounding more appealing by the second.

But for the moment, I decided to let Cliff's way of addressing me slide. Instead, I nodded and said, "As you wish." After that, I turned around and started walking up the stairs.

Cliff and Kishirika followed after me.

Silence, with nothing but the sound of our echoing footsteps.

After a while though, Kishirika said, "Rudy-"

"Lord Rudras."

"L-Lord Rudras. This One knows that you are powerful, so can you not simply teleport us out?"

Cliff spoke up as well and said, "I agree with Kishirika. There doesn't seem to be many magical defenses preventing escape. Surely someone as powerful as Father-in-law can escape in an instant... Or is there something else I could not see?"

"No." I glanced back and said, "There's nothing stopping me from leaving this place."

Kishirika frowned. "Then why-"

"I'm simply teaching you the consequences of acting so foolishly." I turned back and kept walking. "Now you have to walk up these stairs in shame knowing that you've wasted both my time and that of others waiting for your return."

I kept Clairvoyance up and watched Kishirika and Cliff's reactions.

Kishirika flinched, looking down with a guilty expression.

As for Cliff... He seemed a bit guilty as well. But then he looked up with determination and said, "I understand. In the future... I will train and study harder to not make the same mistake. Then..." He looked off into the distnace and muttered, "Then I'll ask Enoch for her hand in marriage. Surely at that point..."

...Did Ena even like Cliff? I'd need to check up on that. Also, there was an age difference too, wasn't there? Granted, time distortion shenanigans was a thing. Putting all the time that Enoch and Eos had spent in distortions together made them... probably teenagers? And Cliff was around that age, so I guess it was fine...

...Yeah. Going to do that meditation retreat when we got back for sure.

-RNG-

"Oh Rudy!" Sylphy smiled and waved. "Finally back?"

I blinked and took a look around.

A ridiculous sight.

Sylphy had created a beautiful crystal table with a pair of chairs. One for her, and the other for Eris, seated across from her.

That was jarring in itself considering where we were. But then there was everything else.

The black knights had changed into butler and maid outfits, which was hilarious considering they wore it directly over the armor. But then there was the fact that even Atofe had changed into a maid outfit and was meekly pouring a bottle of wine into a crystal goblet Sylphy was holding out.

Eris stared at me from her seat and blushed. "S-Sorry, Rudy. I tried to stop her."

Ah. So this was Sylphy's fault.

I turned to look at Sylphy and opened my mouth to ask what was going on.

And then Kishirika burst out laughing. "Bwahahaha! What are you wearing, Atofe?! This One knew you were dumb muscle, but did you finally decide to try and use your other assets instead?"

Atofe's left eye twitched and she glared at Kishirika. "You-"

"Atti. A bit more, please." Sylphy held out her goblet.

Atofe flinched and bowed her head. "Yes, Lady Sylphy." After saying that, she held out the wine bottle again and poured some more in a smooth and professional motion.

...Just what the hell went on up here? I was only gone for like... a half hour, max. I mean, I heard the sounds of combat stop a while ago, but *still*...

Sylphy sipped on her goblet of wine. Serene and relaxed, like she was the real ruler of this fortress.

Seeing that, I frowned and said, "Sylphy."

She turned to me and smiled. "Yes, Rudy?"

"What did I tell you before we came on this trip?"

Sylphy paused and then looked a bit embarrassed. "...We come peacefully?"

"Not that, the part about you and other people."

"...No killing? But it's fine if they're immortal, right?"

I resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose. Instead, I said, "Sylphy. Love. Roleplay is for the bedroom, not real life. We're *not* going out to conquer the world."

Sylphy frowned and set her goblet down on the table. "...But Rudy deserves it..."

Okay. Maybe I should have spent a little less time with Sylphy when we were kids... She might have gotten a bit too attached.

Still, this was my fault, so...

I walked across the room.

Silence, leaving only my footsteps to echo. It seemed like everyone else realized the gravity of the situation... or were too intimidated to say anything.

Probably the latter.

I reached Sylphy and placed my hand on her head. "Sylphy."

"...Yes, Rudy?"

"I don't care about the world if I have you. So stop beating yourself up and thinking you aren't enough, alright? Even if you never do anything else and just stay by my side, it'll be all I want. So there's no need to put on a show like this. Got it?"

Sylphy's face turned red and she let out a bright smile. "...Got it, Rudy. Heehee."

I ruffled her hair a bit and then glanced back at Cliff and Kishirika.

The former was nodding his head with an expression that seemed to say 'as expected of Father-in-law.'

The latter... Kishirika was looking at me and Sylphy as if she was seeing the most terrifying monster in the world.

Understandable. Sylphy was scary in yandere mode.

"Now, I've got some business to talk with Atofe, so can you go ahead with Eri and take everyone back?"

Sylphy's smile immediately faded, turning into a frown. "Business? With that hussey?"

"Yes."

"...Alone?"

"Well." I stared at Atofe and said, "...I think they're frozen in fear from you, so yes."

Sylphy pouted.

Eris pointed at her and said, "I told you so."

"...Hmph." Sylphy stood up and said, "Fine. But I'm not accepting her, Rudy. If you bring her back as a bride or a maid, I'm erasing her. She doesn't deserve you."

Frosty killing intent. A cold expression that looked more like a villainess than the Sylphy I remembered.

Seeing that made me feel a pang of guilt. But I set that guilt aside for the moment and said, "Don't worry. I'm not like Dad."

Sylphy paused and then giggled. "Right. You aren't like Paul."

I kept patting her head, watching as she happily closed her eyes and leaned into my hand.

Eris glanced at Sylphy and then gave me a look. As if wondering what that was about.

I shook my head slightly.

Eris frowned, but she nodded.

After that, I looked at Sylphy and said, "Now I'm trusting you to get everyone back safely, okay Sylphy? And when you do, I'm relying on you to start the dinner prep for Norn's party."

Sylphy opened her eyes and then gave me a determined look. "Leave it to me, Rudy!"

"I will. Thank you." I looked over at Eris and said, "And thank you too, Eri. I appreciate you a lot."

Eris blushed and then said, "I-I know. A-And you're welcome, H-H-Husband."

Sylphy giggled and said, "Still embarrassed saying it, Eri?"

"S-Shut up, Sylphy!" Eris crossed her arms and then walked over to Cliff. "You, genius pope kid or whatever."

"Yes, Mother-in-law?"

Eris froze and then turned to look back at me.

Hey. Don't blame this on me.

Eris blinked and then shook her head. "Anyway, you can fly, right?"

"I learned how to in order to follow Enoch, yes."

"Great. Then hold onto the brat when we're flying. Or not. I guess she revives, so a drop or two will be fine."

"Ooh!" Sylphy clapped her hands and said, "Can we drop her? I want to try raising a baby too."

Kishirika paled and looked at me. "L-Lord Rudras. Please have mercy on This One!"

...I had a headache. Being a Demon Lord was a pain in the ass... Maybe I should have just run around proclaiming myself as an Ally of Justice instead. I had the hair for it...

But anyway... Kishirika needed to be taught a lesson anyway, so I smiled at her and said, "Hold on tight."

Kishirika froze, looking like the soul left her body. And then she rigidly walked over to Cliff and grabbed his hand. "...This One entrusts her life to you. P-Please save This One."

"A-Ah.. I-I understand. As the intermediary between Demons and Humans, I, Cliff Grimoire, do swear that I will return you to Arcadia safely."

Kishirika smiled.

And after that, Eris, Sylphy, and those two left.

Leaving just me, Atofe, her knights, and the members of the Survey Corps who had been conscripted as her knights.

Silence. Nobody moved even after my lovely wives...

Were they my wives? Eris was on paper, but I hadn't had a ceremony or anything yet for either of them...

Something to remember for the future.

But anyway, nobody moved after my lovely ladies departed. Instead, they were waiting with bated breath. As in they literally weren't breathing and just waiting for me to act.

Seeing that, I decided to get them to relax a bit by walking over to the table Sylphy made and sitting down. After that, I gestured towards Atofe and said, "Have a seat."

She immediately walked over and sat down. Unlike her haughty and brash attitude before, she was meek and quiet.

I picked up the bottle of wine from earlier and poured a pair of glasses for me and Atofe. Handing one to her, I said, "Sorry about Sylphy. She tends to get a bit overprotective."

"It's fine." A curt and rigid response.

I frowned.

Seeing that, Atofe flinched.

I raised an eyebrow and said, "We got off on the wrong foot, but there's no need to fear. I'm not the sort to go around conquering other territories. In fact, I'm here to help. I'm sure that the Distortions have been a problem, right? So-"

"You can have it."

I blinked. "What?"

"Anything you want, take it. In exchange, please, please, *please* never bring your elf wife around again." Atofe shuddered and said, "A spell that can freeze the very soul... Even Laplace never made something that terrifying."

"Really now?" I paused and tapped on my chin. "I guess that's one way to stop regeneration. Can't come back from the dead if the soul's frozen solid. Especially if you break it afterwards... Wait. Would that work on a god? If all living beings possess a soul..." I frowned and instinctively reached for a notepad.

But then I remembered where I was.

"Ah. Sorry about that. Anyway... the point is that I wanted to cooperate with you a bit-"

Atofe immediately stepped back and kneeled on the ground. "I swear on my name as the Immortal Demon Lord Atoferatofe Ryback that I and my family shall be under your family's jurisdiction until the end of time."

A solemn proclamation. And as if to make it even more official, a bit of her black mana reached out to form a collar around her neck before reaching me, kind of like the bond I had with Rika.

...

...Okay. Seriously, what did Sylphy do...?

---

A little bit before Rudy arrived back on the scene.

"Can't hold it back anymore~" Sylphy paused and then stared at her audience. "...You don't seem entertained."

Forced applause and cheers. Cheers that sounded more like screams.

Especially as a few of the black knights were already frozen solid with expressions of sheer agony.

Eris watched it all and let out a deep sigh. "Well. I tried."