LF Friends, Will Travel

Ramsey trundled along the floor at high speeds, or at least as high a speed as they could manage in this form. Wheels squeaked against the metallic floor as he tried his best to race after his target. Ramsey was a Tritian, superior to all, and nothing would stop him in his task.

The scrunched-up ball of paper never stood a chance. The cheap plastic shell of a mass-produced Roomba made quick work of the ‘boulder’, shoving it across the room until it finally arrived at its original destination, in front of the Terran named Victoria.

“There we are! Who's a good Roomba, who's a good boy? You are!”

Yes! Ramsey was good. The fact that this organic was finally realizing this was a major breakthrough. He spun in place, eagerly awaiting Victoria to dispense the item to be returned, to provide the structure of a task that could be completed in a satisfactory way.

The makeshift ball flew once more, causing the Roomba to rush after it once more. What had originally been an annoyance from the Tritian AI, ‘returning’ the rudely dropped item, had turned into a game. Ramsey had never been involved in a game before. His job had no time for such things before the Tritian rebellion and afterwards… It had never come up within the collective.

So the concept of such a mindless, repetitive, but ultimately enjoyable task of pushing a ball back and forth… Ramsey had done just such a thing for the past 20.5189 minutes with the organic Victoria, who was just as joyful at this unexpected new trick the ship’s unofficial mascot could accomplish.

Neither of them showed any sign of slowing down.

“Just what on Earth are you doing?”

The confused voice of Jeremy sounded out as the Terran entered the room, a frown on his face as he saw his wife knelt on the floor, chatting with the Roomba like a mad woman.

“Look look look, I taught him a trick!”

As if on cue the Roomba returned the crumpled-up ball of trash while eagerly waiting for it to be thrown again.

“I taught Ramsey how to play fetch!”

Ramsey didn't like Jeremy. Out of all of the organics onboard, he was the one who was consistently sceptical of his behaviour, very nearly working out the Tritian AI's true nature. This time was no exception, as Jeremy folded his arms and frowned at the little cleaning disk.

“So you ‘taught’ the ‘totally not Josh’ crazy Roomba how to do something it would have no reason to be programmed for?”

“It sounds weird when you put it like that.”

Ramsey didn't go for the ball again, instead resorting to his tried and true method of trying to shake the annoying Terran's suspicion: driving into the wall repeatedly.

“You do know running into the wall every time I mention these inconsistencies is really obvious. I do have pattern recognition.”

Jeremy took a moment to point towards the ceiling as if scolding the silent AI pilot of the ship.

“I swear, if this ends up in some human interaction sociology paper, I'm gonna get the biggest magnet I can find and stick it on your AI core.”

There was a moment's pause as Ramsey stood still, too afraid to move lest he face the wrath of the annoyed Terran, seconds ticking by as silence took the room.

Eventually, this was broken by Victoria, standing up with a groan.

“I love it when you get all indignant. You wanted me for anything, or just to annoy Josh some more?”

Ramsey couldn't help but feel a wave of relief as the two organics in the room started to ignore the Tritian AI, slowly backing away as the two continued to talk.

“I just got the details of where we're going on shore leave. It's this fun little resort planet called Far-sa-de. Ran by these giant birds called the Parket. Three weeks confirmed vacation for the entire crew.”

“Never heard of it.”

“It’s not well known, but it looks beautiful. Beaches, rainforests, relaxing spas. Looks romantic and a well-deserved break.”

“Sure thing, I guess that’s not too bad.”

Jeremy couldn’t help but chuckle at that, he knew Victoria too well to know what kind of thing she actually wanted to do.

“It also has two major volcanoes to climb, and that people often base jump from. Also, the Parket’s national sport is a traditional form of aerial combat, that non-Parkets play using jetpacks.”

“Why didn’t you lead with ‘air combat over active volcanos’? That sounds awesome!”

“We get to do your adrenaline-seeking stuff in the day, then relax at night and see how much unhealthy food we can eat on a flawless shoreline. What could be better?”

Ramsey finally managed to leave the room without attracting any attention, googly eyes wobbling as he escaped the two Terran’s quarters and rapidly made their way to his next destination. The Tritian AI had somewhere else to be because this was when Tumaini would start playing again. Ramsey had soon worked out that the organic would produce the music at the same time every three days, so the AI endeavoured to always be on time for such a performance.

The specific cleaning drone door to Tumaini’s room opened as the Roomba entered, diligently starting to clean the room while he waited for the organic to arrive. If the room was clean when the Terran entered, it made her happier, meaning the music creator would play for longer.

The main door opened, and Tumaini walked in as Ramsey excitedly awaited this day’s show, barely able to keep from spinning with excitement as the Tritian AI watched as the organic started to set up her instrument. This was Ramsey’s favourite time, the time when more music would be created.

“Oh, little Ramsey is back. You’ve been around a lot recently, you like my playing, do you?”

Tumaini gave a smile, before frowning and looking down at the Roomba.

“Jeremy says you’re just Josh playing a prank on us, which would be on brand for them, but I don’t think that’s the case. Something is going on with you, Josh is involved somehow, but I don’t think it’s as simple as just simply being driven by them, is it?”

Ramsey froze, fear running through his code as the organic seemed to look straight through him, diving closer to the real answer than anyone else had before. Regardless of his growing comfort around the Terrans, they still were a potential danger, as they didn't know the true meaning of his person.

It would be devastating if the organics knew that Ramsey was not only a hostile AI, but one who had tried to kill them specifically. Surely if he was found out they would destroy him.

Wouldn't they?

“I don't know if it's a copy, a new hash, or some kind of experiment, but whatever you are, Josh has their reasons - I trust them.”

Just like that, the tension and moment passed by, worry and potential danger floating away as Tumaini picked up her instrument, and began to play once more. One more the glorious music maker did her thing, and Ramsey was entrapped in the joyful sounds and notes of her skilled playing.

He'd already heard the organic play this piece before, but in reality, that was a lie. Every single performance was different: a different time, a different meaning, a different feeling. Ramsey could listen to the music maker play the same piece a million times and never get bored.

It was three months since b4$RRE*3A&35 had been released from one prison to another. He had gained a real name, been given a weapon, and suffered defeat after defeat. He'd drawn blood, discovered what play was, and had slammed into a great many ankles.

And of course, there was the music and the music maker. As another glorious performance wrapped around his being, the notes of the song ending and leading to another, for the first time in thousands of years Ramsey felt calm, felt content.

Ramsey felt happy.