Legacies of light

I was brought to the Himeji castle when I arrived in the capital. I was always told as a child that it was a giant beautiful building where the shogun lived. It was a place I wanted to visit one day. To think I could come here, though my circumstances weren’t the ones I wanted to see it under.

The first thing they did when I got there was isolate me from everyone. I was given a new change of clothes and was brought excellent food daily. However, I hated when they came to provide me with anything because whenever they approached, I could feel their hatred, fear and disgust at my presence. Every day I would feel more and more of their emotions until one day, I started to hear their thoughts.

Full of animosity, they would discuss:

“She is too dangerous to be kept alive.”

“The fox rampage this time might destroy more than our country.”

“It is our duty as humans to end this threat. We should execute her immediately.”

“Kids cannot be put to death for any reason.”

“Will you let such a foolish rule bring about the destruction of our country?”

“If she has the same powers as the fox, she could undo the curse on this nation. We should try that.”

“There is no guarantee that would work; to accomplish that, she would need to be trained. What if she goes berserk during that time? It will make her almost unstoppable.”

“More than that, the country is built on the backbone of spirits. If they were to all disappear, how would we function?”

“That’s utter selfishness. Don’t we owe it to all the people we have executed to try?”

“Do you want to gamble the lives of your family for such a reason, because when she controls you and makes you kill them, will you be able to say that?”

I would do no such thing I am no monster. Why do these people hate me so much? Mommy and daddy only got angry when I did something terrible, but I never did anything wrong to these people except live. Is my being alive a bad thing?

Every day they debated what to do with me; they went back and forth without end. And every day, I felt the hatred for me in the castle grow more and more to the point that it was almost unbearable, but unable to do anything about it. My life continued like this for four years.

The only solace I was given was when I was allowed to walk each day, but even that was ruined by one of the high-ranking official sons, every day without fail, he would come up to me and bully me. He would step on my head and say, “A child of cursed birth like yourself has no right to breathe the same air as me.”

All the adults who watched me let this happen because they didn’t like me. They would only stop him when he left any visible bruise. I put up with all that, and I cried every day until one day, I was told that I was going home.

I don’t know for what reason, but I was allowed to go back and live with my mom and dad. On the day I set out to return, a group of people sent me off, including the boy who bullied me. He was beaten up pretty badly.

On that day, it was the first time I ever saw the shogun of Seirei. She had beautiful long hair, but her face was obscured entirely; I couldn’t even make it out.

She said to me, “You are a cursed existence that will bring harm to this world. That is a truth you will never escape from, so don’t make any bonds with people and if you ignore these words, trust me when I say you will only bring ruin to those near you, so don’t be foolish. In four years, this man standing behind me will cut your head off, so until then, behave yourself. That is the only kindness you will be given.” And like that, I was sent off back home.

When I arrived, I was met by a commander of the twinstars who told me, “For the next four years, I have been dispatched to watch you until you are killed. Yippee, let’s not get to know each other, ok. So, from now on, you will live in the area around your house your necessities will be brought daily by twinstar members. Don’t expect them to be in good condition or the food to be good. Got that, now go.”

With those words, I ran into the forest. I felt the hatred everyone in the city had towards me as I returned, but I didn’t care. I only cared about seeing mommy and daddy after such a long period. I can’t wait to see you guys to tell you how hard it has been, for them to praise me for being a good girl. I wanted to be close to them again, so I ran towards the house as fast as possible.

But when I got there, I didn’t see my parents. I expected them to be waiting for me, but they weren’t, so I ran all over the mountainside within the boundary to look for them until I collapsed on the floor out of exhaustion.

Laying on the floor with no energy, my grandma’s words flash through my head. They couldn’t have, they promised, but that was before they learned about my legacy. Please don’t tell me, they wouldn’t.

But then where would they be? They had never left the house for this long before. “Mom, Dad, please don’t tell me you left, because if you’re gone, I have nothing else,” I say while crying.

While lying down with tears falling from my eyes, I hear the feelings and thoughts of everyone in the city constantly berating me again and again.

“Why did they let that monster back here.”

“Let us pray we aren’t killed.”

“Those capital scum, don’t they know how we feel.”

“They should have ended her life.”

“I hope that pest dies.”

“An ugly witch made to bring us to ruin.”

“Why did she ever have to be born.”

Their hatred and disgust at me is overwhelming, and when faced with that, I say to myself. “I AM AMAZING. I AM A PRINCESS, I AM PRECIOUS, I HATE ALL OF YOU, YOU’RE TRASH, YOU’RE GARBAGE. I AM HIGHER THAN ANY OF YOU. I HOPE YOU ALL DIE,” I scream all night until my voice can’t make another sound.

As the days go on, I live utterly devoid of hope or purpose. I lay down on the floor of my house day in and day out. Whenever someone comes and brings me something, they don’t even come close to my house. They leave it a certain distance away in a basket. I am fed three times a day though the food is excellent, and I am given what I need to survive though everything they give me is permanently damaged.

One day, I found a set of drawing materials near where I picked up my supplies, so I took and drew all over the house. At the very least, it gave me something to do instead of rotting away, though not by much.

When I finished drawing thoughts bombarded me just like always. I said what I always did to ward them off, “I am amazing, I am a princess, I am precious, you’re all trash, rubbish scum, not even worth being kept alive. I hate you,” I kept repeating this until I started hearing something specific.

“The minuses have been getting stronger.”

“The travellers and our ships have attacked them.”

“It has been so bad that some businesses have had to close down.”

“The twinstars are barely doing anything to help us.”

“Son, are you ok? Where does it hurt.”

“Mommy, the daddy, are those scary monsters going to kill us?”

“Someone, please help us all.”

For the first time in a year, I smile. “Serves all of you right; I hope you’re all killed,” I say, laughing with all my heart. But day after day, their emotions and thoughts get worse, and it isn’t as easy to block these out as the rest, so one day, I decide to shut them all up.

Walking into my house, I grab one of the decorative masks my mom made, one of a fox, and I took a Gi from the dojo; my dad made lots of them for me when I was younger. Putting them on, I convert all of my tails into spirit energy, then moved at blinding speed to where the minus is this late night. I see it attacking a family, so I exorcise it, leave as fast as possible and go to bed.

When I awoke the following day, I preprepared to be hated again, but I felt happiness and gratitude.

“Someone saved my family and me yesterday.”

“They wore a fox mask.”

“They were so strong.”

“They are the only reason me and my family are alive. I give my utmost thanks to this person.”

Hearing this, my chest felt so unbelievably tight that it spurred a feeling I had long forgotten. But when someone said, “Let us hope that this person can save the rest of us.”

An idea popped into my mind. Every night after that, I went out to fight minuses. They were easy to deal with, but soon they got so strong that I could barely deal with them. Though the martial arts my dad taught me enabled me to even the playing field. I fought a countless variety of them and came back home beaten, bruised and bloody more and more.

But every day, I also heard:

“Thank you, masked stranger.”

“You’re my hero.”

“The guardian deity of this city.”

“Thank you for being here.”

My chest became tighter and tighter hearing all this, so I continued. I use my feeble medical knowledge to patch myself up from significant injuries and let the rest heal naturally. This made fighting minuses the next day harder, but it also made it a lot more fun.

Though one minus irritated me. “You are a fool,” it said to me.

It is sentient despite just forming this one is going to be fun. “I don’t give a shit about what a minus could say. Shut up and fight me.”

“Almost killing yourself for a little praise; they have destroyed you more than you know.”

“Be quiet. I fight to become stronger. Do you think I care for praise?”

“Don’t lie to me, little girl. I am also made up from your emotions, I know much more than you do. Most of the emotions that form me are their hatred towards you.”

“What?”

“Don’t you understand that even though they never see you, never talk to you, and know nothing about you, but still their hatred for you has only increased year to year, forming stronger and stronger minuses. I am simply the next evolution of that hatred, Otake. You fight for people who despise your very existence. You are nothing but a fool.”

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH,” and like that, I fought it all night until sunrise, and when I went home, I drew a picture of this spirit to add to my collection of trophies.

Every day I did this, I felt I was at the world’s top. I felt happier and more content than ever, so much so that I had the foolish idea that I could make friends and walk through the city. I was an idiot.

And now, as I lie in my little house surrounded by all my trophies, I cry. “I thought something might have changed, but they hate me as much as ever. All I did was focus on the positive, but their hatred grew. I am alone again.”

I walk out of my house and say, “It is just like Otake said. I am a fool; I should just go and disappear,” but I am suddenly hit from the back.

Then I hear, “Gotcha, you stupid fox.”

Pulling away, I look at the person’s face and see Orb. “What kind of person runs away in the middle of an outing,” he says as he approaches me.

Using my tail to ward him off, I say to him, “Get away from me. I am sick of you. In every way, you utterly disgust me.”

He looks shocked at my words, but I continuing I say, “You vile creature do you think I wanted to be friends with you? I was putting up with you until the curse I placed on you took effect. Now you better run off, or the curse won’t leave.”

“Do you mean that?” he says, saddened.

I can’t let him get in trouble cause of me. “Of course I do, now fuck off you parasite.” After I say this, Orb thonks me twice on my head and then slaps me three times in my face. Which makes me fall down.

“Do you think I would believe anything you say with your heart rate going crazy like that? You must take me for a fool?”

While on the floor, I say, “I am not lying,” but then he thonks me five times and slaps me seven. “Those hurt bastard.”

“Lies hurt more,” he says with tears in his eyes.

“Why are you crying.”

“Thinking about your situation, I can’t stop crying. Even when utterly alone, your still trying to help me,” he says, hugging me.

“Unhand me right now, pervert.”

“Listen hear, right now, I vow onto my soul that no matter what, I will always be your friend, norowareta-ko or not; that doesn’t matter to me in the slightest.”

Hearing this, I freeze for a moment and say, “You’re a complete liar.” Breaking his hug, I say, “Mom and dad said the same thing, but they left me and abandoned me to live in this hell. Your just a liar, just like them.”

“I won’t,” he says with steadfast eyes.

I quickly read his mind and realised something. “So, you don’t know. My legacy is that of the evil demon fox that cursed this nation. I have not only received its curse but its power. I am the vilest creature to walk this earth; none can rival me in that, and none can stand beside me, SO GO AWAY!”

“T-T-T-That isn’t true”, I hear someone say as he makes his way through the forest. Walking up close to us both, he says, “Orb activate your legacy”, which he does then a star mark appears in his eye.

“T-T-That mark in both of your eyes signifies a soul marker. It means all your legacies are family members. I-I-I have one too. That means if your legacy is a demon, so are ours. Wh-h-h-here all cursed.”

Hearing this, Orb has a look of surprise on his face, then smiles. “Miss Gozen, you could be possessed by the devil himself, and I would not break this vow, so no matter what happens from this point on, I will always be your friend. Let our cursed souls bind us.”

“Your lying”

“I am not.”

“You’ll hate me one day.”

“We won’t,” they say in unison.

“I am cursed.”

“So, then our we”

“Can I be your friend?” I say with tears going down my face.

“You already are,” and like that, they hug me.

“Is it all right for me to be feeling this happy.”

“Obviously, as your friend, I will try my best to make you happy.

“Then, can I ask you for a favour?”

“What would that be.”

“Can you call me by my name,”

“Obviously, but I need to know it first”, so I whisper it into Orb’s ear, and he says, “Suzuka Gozen, from now on, will you let me call you by that.”

“Of course, my friend.”