Leftover Apocalypse

I slept pretty much the whole day, though not deeply - we kept taking breaks, or I would start to slip off Snuffy's back, or I'd need to sneak off to relieve myself. At some point I remembered to show Hugh the loot I'd taken from the tracker in the hopes he would tell me they were ridiculously powerful magic items, but he said he wasn't sure. It seemed his particular magical skills were useless in identifying that sort of thing.

I covertly held each item and tried to mentally will them to do something in case they were magic, but nothing happened. Much to my chagrin Hugh somehow noticed what I was doing.

"Even if that ring is more than decoration, you may not be able to use it. It could be specifically to help magically track things which you cannot do, or you may not have the strength to activate it yet. Your personal pool of mana grows with time and use - like muscles, yes?"

He couldn't explain in more detail, and didn't seem sure if the translator was using mana or powered in some other way. He implied that regardless there was some limit to how many magic gadgets someone could make use of but when pressed admitted he didn't really know or care about the rules - it was clear from how he talked that he had more than one on him, though he wouldn't say what. I kept staring at the gold ring in his nose and wondering, but if it was magic I couldn't tell.

What Hugh did know more about was mushrooms. When we finally got to the point where everything wasn't covered in snow he made frequent trips into the woods to search for any disgusting fungus he could find. He tried to teach me the difference between Bloody Death mushrooms and Wine Drop mushrooms, but even with both right in front of me I couldn't tell what he was talking about. I guess they're both delicious but you can only eat Bloody Death mushrooms once.

He found three other edible types and a few more poisonous ones he wanted to show me - it seemed mushrooms were a pretty common treat in the woods. I hate mushrooms. Still, I'd already had a scare where I thought I was going to be out in the wilderness all by myself with no food and we weren't to civilization yet so I tried to pay attention just in case. When he cooked them up for dinner I tried them and they were better than I had expected although that wasn't exactly saying much - even good mushrooms taste pretty much like the ground to me. I finished off the last of the sausage and more of the bread - we'd peeled open some of the packed meals for lunch and they were okay but seemed like they would keep longer than some of the other food so they were being saved for last.

Snuffy's food was more of a concern since his special bales of feed had been strapped to the side of the wagon when it went over the cliff, but late in the day we came across a field of some sort of squash-like stuff that he absolutely devastated. Hugh was skeptical that they were edible for humans, but seemed to trust that Snuffy would know his own limits.

We camped for the night in a little field at the edge of a drop off, and once the sun was down Hugh pointed out lights in the distance. "That is Yallowsben, where I was dropped off after being given the letter for you. We will reach it tomorrow, and will sell the pack animal for something more suited to the plains since they have no teleportation center. Do you have riding experience?"

"Yeah, I've spent time riding horses." It was part of some foster care outreach thing, therapeutic horse riding or whatever. I never went through a horse phase like a lot of girls, but it was still pretty cool.

"Horses? Are you royalty, that we can spend all of our money on fragile creatures like horses? No. We will be buying moskar."

"That didn't translate. What is a moskar?"

"Moskar are riding mounts. Two legs? Tail? Feathered lizards."

"Velociraptors?"

"I don't know that word."

"Oh my god if we're riding dinosaurs I'm going to be so excited."

"You are a very strange woman, Calliope Smith."

I had another nightmare that night, where my mother asked me about my day and I told her I'd shoved a man off a cliff and stabbed another to death. She nodded and said she was glad to know she'd always been right about me being a monster and then pinned me down and cut my head off with her grandmother's antique scissors. The dream somehow didn't end when my head was cut off, and I had to watch my headless body lay there while my mom did the dishes in the kitchen. Given how often I had nightmares it barely should have registered, but I woke up feeling hollow and like I was on the verge of tears.

As we got moving again, probably assuming I had been lulled into a false sense of security by the way he had cheerfully answered my questions so far, Hugh started once again trying to get more information out of me about where I was from. My lack of knowledge was probably driving him nuts - I'd asked about magic and monsters in a way that even a child probably wouldn't need to in this world. I had been planning for this though, and while my cover story was pretty flimsy it was the best I'd be able to do without knowing more about the world.

"Well my parents were convinced the world was going to end," I said, remembering the short time where I'd been concerned the hospital I'd woken up at was some sort of prepper compound, "and so most of the time I was stuck on our property and not allowed to go out. I'd escape sometimes and usually get into trouble and then they would haul me back. So I only ever learned things they decided I should know about, and they really hated magic."

Hugh nodded, looking thoughtful. "That may explain why I was sent to get you, in part. Did your parents explain how they thought the world might end?"

"They were pretty vague, sorry. There were chaotic magical storms around where we lived," I said, remembering what the letter had suggested I use as a story, "and it had something to do with those. Like they would destroy everything eventually, but we'd be safe if we avoided magic."

"And yet you seem so eager to learn magic, yes?"

"Well yeah. Like I said I escaped and got to talk to some other people sometimes and. I dunno. I just feel pretty confident my parents were crazy. Sorry if you were hoping I had some sort of important information."

"It does little to explain why soldiers from Halenvar were looking for you, yes?"

"Well. I don't know obviously, but maybe whatever spell snagged me was meant for someone else or... or that spell and another one sort of interfered with each other, or something like that. Either way, they said I wasn't the person they were looking for. Although... as long as we're on that topic, why did - Hammersmith?"

"Lord Protector Hammersmith, yes."

"Why did Hammersmith know where I was?"

Hugh seemed to be considering how much to tell me. "The grand alignment is in less than a year and a half, and will likely cause many problems. So the various governments of this continent have created a group to share information and prevent the worst issues, and Lord Protector Hammersmith is the highest ranking individual in that organization - although she does not have true authority over members from other nations, like myself. Still, I did not see fit to question her when I was given this task and so unfortunately I have little I can share with you."

More random fantasy trope bullshit. Grand Alignment sounded like a planetary alignment kind of thing, which got me thinking about the moon again, which just made me think about how much I didn't know. It was a little scary, and very exciting. Feeling a little overwhelmed by it all and once again worrying about what I could say without ruing my flimsy cover story, I kept quiet the rest of the way to Yallowsben.

There were farms around the city, kind of. They didn't have fields, just huge towers made of some kind of scaffolding overgrown with plants. Each tower had ten-foot walls around them, though it wasn't clear if that was to keep out people or animals. It looked like the same crop on every tower, and while I didn't recognize it from the produce aisle back home it didn't look particularly alien either. The trees had looked pretty normal too, although in both cases it's not like I knew enough about botany to say if the same species existed on Earth.

Much like the crop tower things, Yallowsben itself was also surrounded by walls - mostly made from huge logs although some sections were stone. It was a patchwork, and looked like they'd expanded the city multiple times in random directions using whatever materials were handy. The architectural style was unfamiliar - multiple levels of roofs that stuck way out reminded me of Japanese buildings a little, but the style of the windows and doors and the general shapes of the buildings didn't mesh with that.

There was a gate, with very bored-looking guards - they weren't in uniform but they had matching polearms and helmets. The helmets were basically metal bowls, but the polearms were more like really fancy-looking axes and nearly eight feet tall. I couldn't picture swinging something that long around in any useful way, it seemed like it would be super awkward. They both stared at me as we walked past but didn't say anything. I had to assume I looked a little strange to them in the same way everyone here looked a little strange to me - the various ethnicities that I was familiar with didn't exist here, and vice versa.

"Do they have a Duminere here?" I knew Hugh had said it wasn't as easy as just walking in and getting magical powers, but I still wanted to see where it happened and - if I was being honest with myself - I imagined that I would somehow find a way to slip inside.

"No, no. There are thought to be only thirty-six of them in the whole world, and we only know of the locations of twenty-nine of them. This place would be a hundred times larger if there were a Duminere. Theramas - the city we are headed towards - has one, although it is located underneath a fortress."

"Okay. Well then is there... a magic item shop, or something?"

"There may be some magic items for sale in the city. Most likely some simple ones, maybe heating devices for those traveling up the mountain. But first, Calliope Smith, you will get a bath. You are covered in dirt and a significant amount of your own blood."

Right, that also might have had something to do with why the guards stared at me.

When we arrived at the inn, I created a bit of a stir and earned a funny look from Hugh because I nearly fell over laughing and couldn't explain why. It wasn't actually funny - maybe 'funny' in the 'odd' meaning of the word, but certainly not in a way that should leave me giggling and barely hanging on to Snuffy's harness as I lean against his side. I may have just been a little punchy from everything.

"Why is the name of the inn amusing to you?"

"It's not... the name isn't funny, not the actual name part." I said while trying to compose myself.

"But I'm sure I heard you mutter 'the name' between bouts of laughter, yes?"

"It's not the specific name, it's... the whole thing. The look of it, and the sign, and - yeah, the name, 'the Hawk and Hen' is just... oh, and look through the window at the bar and that... that innkeeper right out of central casting."

"That last phrase didn't translate well, I think."

"It's just that this is such a total stereotypical inn. It's exactly like all the ones in the games and stories where I'm from."

"Inns are the same everywhere."

"Sure, I guess, but to have this one thing match so exactly on a whole different..." I stopped myself before saying 'world' but the damage was done. Hugh raised an eyebrow, and began stroking his mustache. "... continent?"

He nodded, smiling extra wide. "Yes, on Calnon where they have - just recently, I assume, started counting by ten?" He leaned in closer. "You are from another plane, yes? Which one?"

I hesitated, and then couldn't resist asking. "What are my options?"

Hugh narrowed his eyes at me. "You don't know anything about the other planes either, do you? No. Because even then, you would know these things, yes? Unless. Hmm. You must be from one of the lost colonies from the old Empire."

"Shit. I wasn't supposed to say anything but... yeah."

"I made that up, there is no such thing."

"Mother fucker."

Hugh grinned. "I was lying again, there may be some lost colonies - though I personally find it unlikely after all this time. But regardless, if that were the solution you would have known who the Clockmaker was."

So I'd been right about that being a trap. Not surprising. I wasn't sure how much I could trust the letter, but the part about not telling people I was from Earth seemed like a good common sense plan until I could find out more. I wanted to trust Hugh - or maybe 'trust Hugh, but not too much' - if my hunch was right, and he seemed like he was happy to just treat this as a game so... "I'll make you a deal. You can guess once a day, and I'll tell you if you get it right."

"That is acceptable." He started to think about what to ask before I told him the 'lost colony' thing counted as his guess for the day, at which point he scowled and told me to wait with Snuffy while he went inside to pay for a room.

When he returned I hesitated, looking at the wooly beast and trying to decide if it was fucked up that I didn't care we were selling it after it saved my life. Thankfully the usual navel-gazing over my lack of empathy was interrupted by Hugh telling me that a bath was being drawn for me in the room and it was getting cold. Fuck introspection, I wanted a bath. I went ahead and hugged Snuffy's leg before heading in, though.

There were two copper tubs in the room, one round and small and one huge oval one that someone was still pouring hot water into when I arrived - they offered to stay and bathe me which creeped me right the fuck out, but they didn't seem surprised or offended when I declined.

I pulled a folding privacy panel thing across in front of the tub in case Hugh returned, and then peeled off my frankly disgusting clothes and used a pitcher to pour some water over myself while standing in the smaller, empty tub. I wasn't sure this was the right procedure but whatever. I scrubbed a little and got about thirty pounds of dirt, blood, and Snuffy sweat off of me before deciding I couldn't wait any longer and stepping into the big bathtub.

I was glad I'd gotten a few layers off before the soaking part, because I didn't want to spend time in a disgusting soup of my own filth. The clean - well, relatively clean - water was almost painfully hot and absolutely amazing, and I could feel knots unwinding from deep in my back. I hadn't bathed properly for at least a week, maybe longer, and I wanted to just lay there and never get out. There was also a strange sensation, as if taking a bath here was somehow washing away my last connection to Earth. I found myself staring at the back of my hand where that stock number had been, though of course it was more symbolic than just losing a scribbled number.

I wasn't in some isolated mountain retreat, the danger of being followed and attacked was past, and I had reached a real city with real hot water. I was going to get new clothes, and I was going to begin to blend in with the people here which meant I could even ditch Hugh if I decided to. I was for sure considering it. This bath, more than anything else so far, was where I felt like a new part of my life was beginning. No, not a new part. A new life entirely.

I fell asleep there in the tub, and had a dream. I'd just gotten out of the bath, or maybe it had been a shower in the dream, and I was wrapped in a fluffy towel. I was younger, I think sixteen, and I was filled with the same cautious optimism that waking me had felt about starting a new life. This dream life involved a nice little bedroom with yellow walls and an old television on the dresser. I was reading Jake Ross and the Sword of Destiny, the nice hardcover one from the boxed set - now lost somewhere, at a group home I couldn't even remember the name of.

The perspective changed, and I was watching myself through the window. Or, no. Not myself. The person on the bed wrapped in a towel was wearing a mask of my face. It didn't even have proper eye holes, so I wasn't sure how she was reading the book. I pulled out a knife, and began to wedge it under the window to pop it open. How dare she? How dare she take my face?

I woke up gasping and flailing, and splashed a few gallons of water onto the floor. I hadn't been ready for the strange but pleasant dream to turn so suddenly hostile. The water had gotten cool and wasn't so soothing anymore, so I gave everything one last scrub and even fiddled with the latch on my bracelet until I figured out how to remove it and clean underneath. I wrapped myself in the towel - far scratchier than I was used to - and stepped out from around the privacy divider to find some clothes, some colored triangles of metal like the ones the corpses had been clutching, and a note:

"Do not leave the room. When you ignore this, be careful. Don't get lost. Don't insult anyone. Be back by second bell" I wasn't sure what second bell was, but I was confident I'd figure it out. I felt just the slightest bit nervous but I'd explored several different cities in my day and as foreign as this place was I was sure I could walk around a little without getting into trouble.

Right?