Learning to Love Time Loops Without Going Insane

Unlike the last times they had visited Glurm, he was waiting at the gateway the moment they stepped out, glaring directly at Cal. “Who are you? Why are you on my lawn? How do you have that sword?” the frog asked, cutting off any attempt Cal had to speak first.

“They have me because I have chosen Stan as my new wielder. I do not remember you being this rude to guests, Glurm,” Excalibur answered for the group.

“Interesting, so you’ve decided to stop hiding away on that tiny little rock?” Glurm replied, his glare softening.

“Yes, I have, and don’t worry, we already know you won’t. This is the second time you’ve been informed of my return, and if it didn’t motivate you in the last loop, I doubt it will in this loop,” Excalibur replied.

“Ah, that explains the strange level of power your new little group has. I was wondering how Earth had managed to churn out new mages right under my nose without my notice, but yes, I imagine I told you last time that I would pass on joining any time loop. I have other matters of concern right now, and I have no interest in being stuck in your infinite hell,” Glurm said, very similarly to the last time he had told Cal as much.

“We aren’t here to invite you; we just needed a new way back to Earth that isn’t being watched. We will be out of your hair, okay, maybe not hair, but you know what I mean as soon as Twonger’s ship gets here,” Cal said.

“And how long is that? I don’t enjoy babysitting visitors,” Glurm asked, resuming his glare at Cal.

“Should be here in a few minutes, don’t wanna burn too much fuel for anything faster,” Twonger answered.

“Hrmph, well, then I suppose since you have one of my oldest friends with you, I may as well offer you tea. Follow me,” Glum instructed.

***

“Glurm, just how much of your mana fruit leaves did you use to make this tea?” Excalibur asked as everyone else finished their first drink.

“You couldn’t have asked that before?” Stan asked loudly to his partner.

“No, because I do agree with why he has decided to do, if not exactly the methods,” Excalibur answered.

“No more than I’m sure they can handle. Is this really the first time I’ve slipped you all some of it?” Glurm asked back, sounding surprised.

“No, well, yes for them, but I had some a few loops ago, and yes, I do agree, and was actually hoping we were all getting some,” Cal said, shrugging at his dad. He had also hoped the tea would relax his anger a bit, and while it was helping, he doubted anything would entirely alleviate it beyond the obvious. Cal took another sip and continued, “Especially the dogs, with the way they gained their magic, I’m worried how it will interact in this world, so I think it’s best they get some homegrown energy into them.”

“It’s tasty, and I like the way it feels in my tummy!” Bug followed up, slurping more from her bowl. The other dogs concurred with their own loud slurps.

“Has Earth come so far that all dogs are now speaking, or are these just mana-infused creatures? They seem different somehow,” Glurm observed.

“We went on a quest! Can I have more tea?” Bug asked, having finished her bowl.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. If your powers don’t come from this world, they can have strange interactions if you have too much, but I suggest you visit me in each of your loops. As long as you bring Excalibur, I will likely be willing to share tea with you. We can slowly infuse you with the power of this reality,” Glurm offered.

“As much as I like the frog’s weird tea, the ship’s here and ready to take yos all back to Earth. It’s gonna drop you off into a nice, super crowded area. Ya good to disappear from there?” Twonger asked.

“Just stick close to us. It should be pretty hard for anyone to find us,” Bug said, wagging her tail.

“Glurm, thank you for the tea. Twonger is going to take the gateway back, and the rest of us will head out by his ship. I don’t expect we will be back this loop, but anything is possible,” Cal said.

“It’s a strange feeling to have people you’ve never met somehow grow on you, but I imagine it’s even stranger for you. Good luck, Cal, Stan, wielder of Excalibur, and you mighty paladins, and even you Twonger,” Glurm closed the gate behind them as he bid his farewells..

“Did we tell him we were paladins? I don’t remember doing tha,” Bug asked.

“You did not, but Master Glurm has seen many things in his extremely long life. I would not be surprised if he had met others of your order,” Excalibur answered, his statement briefly cut off by the ship’s teleportation, finishing the moment they materialized.

Cal started looking around the second he appeared. This was somehow his first real time on a spaceship that wasn’t just built to go to Mars, after all. He couldn’t waste the experience, angry or not. The room they materialized in was full of chairs and a few monitors; he guessed it was the bridge. He tried opening the door to another room and was greeted by Twonger's voice.

“Look, I’m letting ya borrow the ship, but no snooping. Stay where the hell you are and you should be back on Earth in twenty minutes or so,” The voice from a speaker somewhere above them.

“Do you think the message was pre-recorded or live?” Stan asked.

“Pre-recorded, or he’d still be yelling at us,” Cal answered. He considered trying the door again briefly but decided against it. It was Twonger’s house and all he really had left of his brother. He knew how annoyed he’d be if someone poked through his keepsakes from his mother.

“So now what?” Stan looked around as he asked. The ship lurched as though in answer, and the various monitors no longer showed the moon below.

“Okay, maybe he was listening. That was pretty well-timed. Alright, everyone, we don’t have much longer for planning, so we stick with what we have unless there are any objections,” Cal looked at each face. No one spoke. “Good, then the moment we hit the ground, we try to blend in and make our way as deep as we can into the subway system.”