LIGHTNOVELONLINE (Chpt. 32) Point of no return (2)
Cough—
“Ooh, looks like the poison is doing its thing!” It’s my blood you idiot…
[Error.] Aah, it was useless.
My body hit the cold hard ground. I shivered, my vision was fading. I was coughing blood on the ground. In my fading vision I saw it.
[Reached critical condition — termination imminent.]
I was going to die. It should’ve been a happy event, and yet… Why… Everything that had happened, I couldn’t help but question it. I curled up in my entirely broken body. It was all useless. Why was it so funny? Wanting to die and yet seemingly grasping onto life when it’s about to happen? It was pathetically funny. It was laughable...
It was truly hilarious — how pitiful I was. Hesitating over and over again — people suffering just because of me. It was inherently part of the job, part of 'collecting'. It was nothing more than making other people miserable to make ends’ meet. And yet I didn’t feel guilty not even once. And now I do… Was it because I had the chance to stop it? Perhaps. It didn’t matter anymo—
Cough— I had no idea why I kept lying to myself. Rin said she was dying, and yet… I didn’t completely acknowledge it — I didn’t completely acknowledge that I was in the very same state. How funny was that? I was going to die, it was just a matter of time. There was no doubt about it since the start. Why did I even try? There was no point in trying. At least not anymore...
Tears started to well up on my eyes. I am sorry... Ri —
Ding!
[Degraded effect — You go unpunished for the death of Bort Wolfe. Arlesh remains neutral.]
Thank you… really… Just what I fucking needed... Now I was done, for good— I was finally done. I was going to die once in for all. Wasn't it wonderful?
I didn’t want to die…
I didn’t want to die…
I didn’t want to die.
But it was all useless— it all ended here. In my fruitless attempt of saving someone. I wasn’t saving anyone, just lying to myself. Nothing but lies, but it felt great. I am sorry… —
Ding!
[Title effect activated: Chosen by the System.]
Ding! [Error.] Ding! [Error.] Ding! [Error.] Ding! [Error.]
Ding! [Error.] Ding! [Error.]
Ding! [Error.] Ding! [Error.] Ding! [Error.] Ding! [Error.]
…
…
...
Darkness.
[Tell me, what do you believe in?]
The words spoke to my mind, and even though I was done for. I was still compelled to reply — I didn’t know why. I didn’t know anymore.
‘Nothing.’
[Why do you try so hard?] ‘I don’t know.’
[Why do you refuse to die?] ‘I don’t know.’
[Why do you keep running into danger?] ‘I don’t know.’
I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything. Why couldn’t I understand myself? If I wanted to survive so bad I could’ve just avoided this conflict altogether. Why is it? I didn’t know. If only I understood. I wish I understood why. Why didn’t I know? Why couldn’t I fucking know?!
[Why do you— ‘I DON’T FUCKING KNOW.’
Even in death I didn’t know.
Why didn’t I know?
Ding!
[??? title acquired: B̶̰̣r̠͓̭͍͜o̷͈̞̻̻̬̩̭k҉̮̝̩̬̞̯ḙ͉̣͚̖͎̱n̺͙̦͠ͅ ̞̱ͅC̹͈͘o̯͕̬̹̖̗͠r̥͜e̸̜̘̟͎̬ — Malfunctioning in every single possible way. Special effect: Deterioration — Removes ‘condition’ from the vessel. At a price.
“Perhaps it wasn’t the best decision.” — Zalgon, the malfunctioning core.]
Cough— I was on the ground, the surface next to my head felt moist. I had a horrible headache.
Ding!
[Title acquired: From The Claws Of Death — You seriously are one tough-cookie! Killing your enemy as you are about to die. +50% to all stats when heavily injured.]
Cough— My eyes shot open. The ground was a black mess. The mace user was slowly walking towards me with a smile plastered on his face.
“Oh, I thought you were dead already! Ready for round two?” I ignored his bickering and stood up. I was alive.
I realized something — I could do it. I had the title effects active in the top right corner of my eye, from a needle to a collar and the latest one, a claw mark — I could do it.
I tightly gripped my dagger, which somehow I didn’t drop and gave him a deadly stare.
“Oi, oi, don’t look at me like that! Smile a little!” It was now or never.
I took my stance, one last chance. Putting all my strength on my leg and my wrist, I steeled myself. My muscles were still burning — pain was still spiking throughout my entire body. And yet — I couldn’t be stopped.
Seeing my unwavering will he simply readied himself. It was simple — approach; dodge; stab his fingers, or hand. Just the hand and his entire arm would shatter… My entire brain just desired to kill him. It was akin to an animalistic instinct.
Even though I wasn’t supposed to have many instincts nor feelings.
I finally clenched my teeth and stopped stalling. With a kick form my legs I went flying towards him — he blocked.
CRACK. The horrible crunching sound resounded throughout the whole room.
“AAAAAAAAAAGH!” He grunted and panted as his heavy mace hit the ground with a hollow clank. It was over. He should've thought better. Thinking the mace would solve anything.
It would’ve been stupid to aim at the mace. His entire hand was bleeding and he held his arm in pain. It really was stupid. He was holding his eyes tightly closed as he squirmed on the ground from the infernal pain he was suffering. I would be doing the same.
He grunted. “Just what are you?!” He ended up curling into a ball not being able to handle the rupture of his hand and rib-cage. I was undoubtedly strong.
I slowly raised my foot and stepped over his head. It felt nice.
“Die for me, please.” I smiled.
“What are you— STAB.
It made a crunching sound as it penetrated his skull. I was done here.