LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 29: A Hot Bath.
As Mara and I sat in the massive tub brimming with nearly scalding water I clung to the edge with my back turned.
In the past, when I bathed in the cold spring I was in a secluded cave. It seemed very private. That was what I was used to on earth as well.
Even Mara seemed to give me some privacy. She would always be within distance enough to pull me out, but she was usually looking the other way, guarding the entrance.
Still, the fact that I was naked somehow bothered me less than her being in the same state within just a few meters.
“Siya, you're supposed to be relaxing. Stop thinking so much. You need to learn to turn your thoughts off every once in a while.” Her words seemed to carry a strange gentleness to them that I had never heard from her before.
I turned around, sinking into the water. “Yes Mam…” I still couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. Though, even with them closed tight I could feel the hot water burn away the fatigue as I submerged myself, dunking my head before clearing my hair out of my face and leaning back against the rim.
‘I might as well wash my hair while I’m here, doing something will make it feel less awkward. Although, I’m sure it will just get dirty again.’
“So, how do you feel now then?” She asked.
I began to let even my eyes relax, leaving them half closed and half open as I began to let my mind wander. “Like I'm melting…” I said slowly, soaking in the pleasure of my first hot bath in over 14 years.
She let out a small groan “Already?”
I felt gentle waves ripple through the tub, rocking my body back and forth. Without warning I suddenly felt Mara's hands around my waist again as she housed me up onto the side next to a towel.
“What the, what's wrong?” I asked, quickly grabbing the towel and covering myself as my body met the cool air.
With one exaggerated step, she climbed out. “You said you were melting. I guess I should have known you would need the water to be cooler.”
“No! I meant that in a good way, it's not too hot.”
She paused. Hot steam created a thick mist around us, but even that couldn't hide her intimidating figure. She was petite when compared to my brothers, but her muscles were so toned that she looked inhuman, and her body was covered in even more scars than I could have imagined.
I looked away again.
“Am I really so hard to look at…” She muttered with a groan before getting back in and walking to the other side again. “You should be more clear with your words if you want others to understand you.”
I slowly slid back in myself, sinking down so low I had to breathe through my nose, wanting to hide. ‘She's mad again…’
‘ managed to clean my hair, but it was still a tangled mess… And after what just happened I found it hard to so much as move, much less try to unknot it.
After a while, I managed to get over my bashfulness, but after I started to look at her, I ended up unable to look away.
Despite being a woman, she sat like a man, leaning against the edge of the tub with her arms tracing the top of its frame. Her hands were small, almost like mine, but even they had large muscles that protruded out from under her skin.
Her arms were large for her frame, but there was no fat in them at all. Her entire body looked like it was made from wiry steel cables.
“Why are you staring at me? You should know by now that you should just speak up if you have something to say.”
I wrapped my arms around myself trying to hide. “Sorry…”
She grabbed a handful of her hair, gently moving it between her fingers as she let out a soft sigh. “Don't be…” Suddenly her voice was calm, and all the annoyance and anger in it was gone. It wasn't warm like it had been before either though. It was just her voice. “Now, let's hear it then.”
After finally allowing myself to look at her I began to feel incredibly insecure. Not only was I still recovering, and smaller than normal, but even when I was healthy I wasn't half her size. “Am I really supposed to look like you?”
She had the body of a warrior queen. The kind that somehow had an overpowering aura, while still being very feminine. That being said, it also seemed impossible for me to achieve.
She squinted at me, looking closer. “Of course not.”
‘I guess… It was a little bit ridiculous to think I might be able to…’ Hearing her say that filled me with a certain sense of relief, but I still couldn't help but feel embarrassed, at how small I was. “Oh, ok.”
“Your training is to make you capable of surviving. You'll never end up looking like me.”
“Oh...” I hated to admit it, but a part of me did feel let down a bit. Lu already looked similar in build. It just seemed like one more thing that I was somehow left out of because of the hand I was dealt.
“You're too skinny, and you struggle to eat enough to fix that.”
“Yeah, but I was still gaining weight right?”
She continued as if she hadn't heard me. “Your bones are too thin. And you're too short too.”
“I could get taller though, right?...” ‘I'm not that old yet… Wait, why am I even trying to fight her on this.’
“Your breasts are way too small too.”
I hugged my knees to my chest, trying to cover myself from her inspecting gaze. “Was that last one really necessary…” I muttered
Without even realizing it I had started holding my breath so I could sink even deeper, submerging myself up to my eyes. ‘It's not just wishful thinking to say I could still grow more is it?’
“You'll probably never look like me, but you don't have to. Focus on building your body in the way that you can best use it.”
Her answer was extraordinarily unsatisfying and did nothing to help my new insecurities. If anything it just made them worse.
Still, her advice was sound. ‘I can only act on what I have control over, so there's no point in trying to control what I can't…’