Kiss the Ground

Since arriving at the club, time flew by in an instant. Police officials, who had arrived at the lounge even before the players, gathered around them as soon as the lobby door opened. Given that the incident occurred in a place with many onlookers, they were well aware that Chahyun was the original target.Chahyun had to testify about the moment in more detail and for a longer time than any other players. They described what Chahyun experienced as a ‘terror’ incident. Their faces were stern.The atmosphere in the center was tense. Yoon Chahyun rubbed his eyes with both hands. The eyelids, eyeballs, and the brain inside them kept stinging. It was a frustration he wanted to shove away with his hands.Where did it all go wrong?It was from the beginning. From the very start, everything was wrong. The fact that Chahyun knew it clearly tormented him deeply.It all began with a meeting with a man. The person who wielded a knife at Chahyun and hurt Misha. The awkward smile he recalls is associated with the comfort and warmth he received from him. Now, the once meaningful stability and tranquility have become meaningless and faded away. The sticky traces still clung messily to Yoon Chahyun’s heart.Receiving signatures on all the goods in his backpack, expressing support and affection for Chahyun, the person who spoke of such things did something unthinkable with a mind that is now unknown.But Yoon Chahyun could have prevented it.The man was waiting for Chahyun alone in the parking lot after thoroughly bypassing the security of the Winchester Training Center, which strictly prohibits outsiders. Amidst the clearly unauthorized encounter, the man’s atmosphere was constantly ringing an endless alarm, but Chahyun had been subtly ignoring it.Just seeking comfort from the brief solace he offered.The photo was the same. Looking back now, it was clear that Yoon Chahyun receiving the photo and being subjected to the ‘terror’ by the man were undoubtedly connected. Even if it wasn’t the case, if Yoon Chahyun had reported this incident to the police or warned the club immediately, things might have turned out differently.Yoon Chahyun’s choice to prioritize the team’s morale and respond to the fans’ support seemed reasonable at the time but now felt like a reckless decision… Because of that.Chahyun tightly clenched the uniform placed beside him. It seemed unbearable if he didn’t distract his mind from the sensations. The uniform received fresh in the morning at the club was already stained and dirty from a day of rigorous training. Misha couldn’t even change into this clothing.“Yuan.”Jude, who approached without a word, called Chahyun’s name. The other players remaining in the center were the same, silent.At the moment when the incident occurred, colleagues who were waiting behind Chahyun witnessed Misha pulling him away and taking the attack that he was supposed to receive. The police officials stated that these colleagues, who seemed to have pulled Chahyun out of the chaos, were witnesses.Colleagues did not bring up Misha’s story in front of Chahyun. Yoon Chahyun did the same. Jude stood quietly by the chair.It was late at night when the management approved the players’ return home. They mentioned that security officers in different attire and officials from the organization would accompany them.The police, who escorted Chahyun to his home, strongly urged him once again, just before getting out of the car, to attend the organization’s meeting tomorrow. The perpetrator had been arrested on the spot, but there could be deeper connections with the offenses such as eavesdropping that Chahyun testified about. They requested his cooperation. Chahyun quietly agreed.As he entered the house, the motion sensor lights followed his footsteps. Chahyun sat on the living room sofa without turning on the lights.The police mentioned that they would reinforce patrols in this residential area for a while. Yoon Chahyun felt strangely uncomfortable hearing about protecting himself, who had no visible injuries. There was someone else who was really hurt.Petting a dog that approached quietly, Chahyun leaned his head on the sofa. Breathing had been difficult since the daytime. It felt like the air was getting caught in his lungs.Just as he was about to close his eyes, the ringtone of his phone echoed. On the slow, lifted screen, family contacts were displayed. Chahyun pressed the call button.“Father.”― Hyun-ah.His father’s voice was calm and composed. It was originally a gentle and soft voice, but now it seemed especially so.― Are you okay?Was he okay? Chahyun couldn’t tell if he was okay, so he avoided answering.“How did you know?”― It was on the news, and your sister watched it live through the broadcast.Even at the moment when the man swung the knife, the live camera was guarding Chahyun. Chahyun couldn’t imagine someone in his family witnessing such a scene, so he remained silent.Even though his younger sibling was said to have a strong personality, they were still a student who had recently become an adult. To Chahyun, they still felt like a child.“Did you get really surprised, Cha?”― It was a complete chaos, crying and everything. They contacted you right away from the company… at least. They said you were not harmed.“….”― So, I’ve been waiting until now. You must have had a hectic day.“Yes….”― It’s a relief that you’re not hurt.“….”― Apart from you and me, your mother is going crazy about going to the UK now. How she wants to immediately blow that bastard’s head off…“Please, Father, calm down a bit.”― Do you think I can do that?His father joked with a gentle voice. Grateful that he didn’t inquire further, Chahyun smiled slightly for the first time in hours. After their laughter passed, his father spoke.― Hyun-ah, are you okay?Even though it was the same question as before, his throat felt choked. Chahyun couldn’t answer, opening and closing his mouth several times. It was too difficult to make a seemingly unaffected voice.“… I, I’m okay.”― Okay.“I’m okay, but….”I’m okay, so what?A tight feeling gripped his chest. It was a sensation of emotions that arrived belatedly for the first time today. The depths of his eyes were too painful.To avoid crying, Chahyun tightly closed his eyes. Shedding tears seemed like an overly dramatic reaction. Yoon Chahyun at this moment felt he didn’t have the right to do so.Over the phone, his father’s voice patiently waited for Chahyun’s silence.***Chahyun climbed the stairs to the third floor where the medical office was located. Just as he walked out of the corridor, Dr. Alana, who happened to be inside, widened her eyes when she saw Chahyun. It was too early for a player to visit the medical office.“Yuan, hello.”“Hello.”Observing Chahyun’s awkward greeting, Alana’s gaze slowly shifted to the item in Chahyun’s hand.“Is that a cake?”“Yes….”With a somewhat awkward response, Chahyun hid the box from the already discovered bakery behind his body.As the day brightened, Chahyun attended the organization and met with the assigned investigator. The brown envelope he handed over was exactly the same as how Chahyun first found it through the gap in the door. The investigator, checking the dozens of photos inside, was genuinely shocked. He half-scolded Chahyun, asking why he didn’t report it immediately after the incident. It was a valid point. Since there was no room for excuses, Chahyun silently listened to the reprimand.Right after that, he stopped by a famous bakery near the center and bought the cake that is now in Yoon Chahyun’s hands. It was a raspberry cake famous as the store’s signature, wrapped in a gift box with a ribbon.“Does he like that?”Alana asked with narrowed eyes, slightly teasing. She already had a keen sense of why Chahyun suddenly appeared and the reason for the unexpected gift. Yielding to her perceptiveness, Chahyun gave up the charade and nodded.“Yes, probably… I saw him enjoy it last time. It’s been a year though.”In response to Chahyun’s words, Alana smiled, nodded her head, and lightly stepped aside to let Chahyun pass through the corridor.“Then go in quickly. It’s the medical office.”With a cheerful consideration, Chahyun gave a light nod of acknowledgment before moving his steps. It didn’t take long to reach the medical office.Jude had sent a message about an hour ago. It was a brief message stating that Misha, who had received emergency treatment yesterday, would attend the club as usual today. The tone was flat, but there was an obvious concern for Chahyun hidden behind those words.The staff manning the main counter informed Chahyun that Misha had arrived at the club at the usual time and was currently receiving light treatment in the medical office for today’s training. While the exact condition was unknown, if Misha could undergo training, it might not be a significant injury. With this faint hope in mind, Chahyun immediately ascended the stairs.The opaque glass door of the medical office hinted at the interior but kept it elusive. The decision to directly meet Misha was not a simple one. The heavy emotions that Chahyun had been suppressing were still swirling in his chest at every moment. He wasn’t sure how Misha would react.However, facing Misha was the only thing Chahyun was certain about.Chahyun took a deep breath for the last time and slowly activated the door sensor.A figure, wearing the club training uniform, was sitting on the medical bed inside, turning his back.Deciding to meet him directly wasn’t an easy task. The remaining silence in his back resembled the moment when the intruder blocked his way the previous day, making it difficult for Yoon Chahyun to easily step forward.Something painful welled up again in the depths of his heart. Most of it was regret for his helplessness and his own emptiness, hindered by the crowd and unable to approach. Like being restrained without a gripping hand.Opening the door and silently standing there, the first to turn around and face Yoon Chahyun was Misha.Misha had almost half of his left face covered with white gauze and bandages. A high-saturation green mesh net was wrapped around it, surrounding the wound. The instinctive fear, triggered by the alien color and shape on the skin, suddenly overcame Yoon Chahyun’s thoughts.Unable to hesitate any longer, Chahyun pushed his unsteady steps into the room. As he fumbled with his feet, the approach towards the seat where Misha sat happened in an instant. Surprised by Chahyun’s unexpected intrusion, Misha widened his eyes.At that moment, Chahyun understood the essence of the discomfort he felt when looking at his face from a distance. It was the fact that there was only one gray iris staring back at Yoon Chahyun. The bandages didn’t just invade Misha’s face but also encroached upon his left eye.A sensation, like stepping on ice, sent a chill down his spine. Realizing that the unthinkable had happened, Chahyun absentmindedly attempted to touch Misha’s face, only to realize he had an item in his hand. It was only then that he placed the box on the bedside table next to the bed. Due to his trembling hand, the box popped open like popcorn. Unperturbed by the sound of the contents becoming mushy, Misha gazed intently at Chahyun’s face.“Yuan, are you hurt?”As he spoke, he found himself expressing a worried expression as if he were the one who had hurt Yoon Chahyun. Chahyun, feeling powerless and unable to respond, simply murmured while facing Misha’s face.“Your eyes…”Upon hearing that word, Misha, with only one eye left, alternately looked at Chahyun’s two eyes with the single iris he had. Like a fool. Then, as if realizing it late, he casually lifted the fingers covering his left side of the face, revealing a slightly uncovered clear iris beneath the bandage.“This is covering the wound to keep it stable. The sutured part might open up.”“Sutured?”“From the ear to below the eye.”Ah. Yoon Chahyun covered his face with both hands. Misha’s nonchalant voice brought comfort not only by avoiding the worst-case scenario but also by hinting that it wasn’t just the eyes. However, the despair of ultimately suffering significant injuries still couldn’t be avoided.Chahyun thought about Misha from the practice game yesterday. His dedication and stubbornness chasing the ball along the touchline, agility and dexterity to find openings unexpectedly…Standing on the official platform and receiving attention from several people was commonplace for someone like Misha Asplund. However, it shouldn’t have happened to a special player like Misha, especially if it involved a blade leaving long streaks on his face. If he could undo that incident, Yoon Chahyun would endure a thousand eggs.With his head bowed deeply and silent, Misha’s voice fell upon Chahyun’s head.“Are you okay?”“Of course! Do I look like I’m hurt?”In response to Misha’s question, Chahyun unconsciously retorted with irritation. It was due to the overwhelming emotions, a residue of concern to the extent of lingering emotions about the well-being of the person he had sacrificed himself to save. Even though he thought it shouldn’t have happened, Chahyun found himself unintentionally expressing resentment towards Misha.“Why did you do that?”“Why did you? Didn’t you hear that people shouldn’t get close outside the field?”“That person…”“Was a conscious person? He might be the one who took the pictures and sent them. That’s what I heard from the hospital, reported to the police.”“…”“If something like that happens, you should have told anyone.”It was a valid point. In the logically articulated words of the pronoun of irrationality, Yoon Chahyun’s thoughts veered off in a different direction. It kept blaming his sacrifice, steering towards an unwarranted direction.“Did I ask you to help me? Did I ask you to save me?”“No.”“Why do things I didn’t ask for?”“I always do things I didn’t ask for. Things that shouldn’t be done. You know that.”Those wicked eyes again. The eye contact that blocked the words of the person in front of them. Yoon Chahyun knew without looking in the mirror that his face had turned red. The face turned flush due to enduring the emotions pounding the chest. Struggling to stand, Chahyun sat down next to Misha without looking at anyone. Time passed in a silence where no one spoke.He didn’t want to get angry, but he couldn’t say words of gratitude or apology either.His heart pounded heavily. Not knowing how to deal with complex emotions, Yoon Chahyun just breathed quietly. After a thick silence, he lifted his head to look at Misha’s side profile. There were no visible pupils in the left side of his face where strange objects were sticking. Yoon Chahyun slowly spoke.“Does it hurt?”“A bit. No training for a while.”“Birmingham game…”“Pending participation.”“…Can’t you wear something like a mask?”“That’s used for fractures or dislocations.”“…”Misha’s tone seemed indifferent. As if someone else far away experienced such a dreadful incident. The question about Misha’s participation in the Birmingham game already had an evident answer. Soccer is not a sport that only uses feet; it involves the use of all parts of the body except hands and arms. Incidents where the ball hits an injured head or face are common, and often, one must come off the field if bleeding doesn’t stop.Bleeding… Yoon Chahyun shivered at the thought of Misha bleeding on the field.There was a time when Yoon Chahyun also thought of putting a band-aid on his prince-like face. Back then, what rescued Chahyun from the swamp of that impulse was the value Misha had as a player. A human who had put such a desperate scar on it would undoubtedly have to pay an astronomical price for that mistake, even if it meant a lifetime of repeated regrets. However, the regret Yoon Chahyun felt now was not only about his abilities.It resembled the feeling of breaking a very precious piece of pottery or losing something cherished for a long time. There were too many people in this world who loved him for him to throw himself just for Yoon Chahyun.“What if there’s a scar?”“I hope there is a scar. A very deep one.”“On that face? It finally looks like that, and it would be a shame… Fans would cry.”“I’m good at soccer, so it’s okay.”Misha looked out the window with a slightly troubled expression. Although it was a bit unfortunate not to deny the compliment that his face was handsome, Yoon Chahyun closed his mouth because of the strange loneliness on his face.Being a good-looking soccer player is also a disguised restraint of praise. It is a mask that no one really sees the true ability. Then again, praising his appearance without thinking might be nothing more than impoliteness. However, as Yoon Chahyun hesitated, unsure of what to say, unexpected words flowed into his ears.“Besides, this can be evidence that I protected you, Yuan.”“What?”“You’ll probably think of it every time you see my scar.”“…”“You’ll never be able to forget it. Forever.”Saying that, Misha looked at Chahyun and, for the first time in a very long time, smiled. Whether it was tender or strange, Yoon Chahyun couldn’t tell, but before he could even be shocked, the smile quickly turned into a frown. It seemed painful.“Ouch…”“Hey, don’t cover your face.”Just a few days ago, Yoon Chahyun might not have been able to handle the shocking words, but now he approached Misha closely. Chahyun, unconsciously worried that the wound might have reopened, gently touched his face. The texture of the unfamiliar medical dressing penetrated his fingertips.As Chahyun anxiously touched the area near the wound, Misha silently covered his hand with his own. His half-hidden face looked serious yet somehow intimate. At twenty-three, that’s exactly how old he looked. The words that came from his lips matched his unease.“So don’t hate me. Yuan.”Yoon Chahyun couldn’t speak, just looked at his face. His heart felt heavy. Endurance might become a habit, but that wasn’t the look in his eyes.Yoon Chahyun prided himself on being able to brush things off, and he also thought he handled Misha’s confession quite well. But Misha’s persistence wasn’t part of the plan.“Why do you like me? You worry so much about shaking people up with your nonchalant face. Why go down that road?”“I’m sorry for making it hard for you until now…”“…”“Also, about your partner,”Yoon Chahyun couldn’t listen to the rest of the sentence.“I don’t have a partner.”The words that came out of his mouth were not entirely his own will. It wasn’t so bad to vaguely settle into a situation that wasn’t right. But he couldn’t fabricate any more lies to someone who had put himself in front of a blade for him.Misha stopped speaking as if frozen in the same posture. He had done something irreversible… That’s how it felt, but at the same time, there was a sense of relief, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest.“No partner?”“No. Don’t make me say it again. It makes me angry.”“What about Doctor Alana?”“She’s a pro.”“Then what about Lucy?”“She just likes fermented food.”Misha listed the names of people Chahyun might have spoken to at least once, and Chahyun responded with a face like Siddhartha sitting under a banyan tree. He expected this. Every time Chahyun had a conversation with someone, he silently had various thoughts inside, and his inner thoughts were now reflected on his face. Chahyun sighed resignedly and closed his eyes.“So, Yuan isn’t with anyone right now, right?”“…That’s right.”Asserting his single status three times made Yoon Chahyun’s expression rigid. He had the confidence that he wouldn’t be shaken no matter what happened. Yoon Chahyun raised his head and looked directly at Misha. Their eyes met.Misha’s solitary pupil was shining in gray. The sparkling light inside was a memory that Yoon Chahyun didn’t particularly cherish.Until that moment, Chahyun was about to casually withdraw his left hand, which Misha had been holding onto. However, Misha, instead, held onto the hand tightly and spoke in a small but clear pronunciation. He had a habit of saying things he considered important in that manner.“Then, for me.”“…”“Give me a reward.”Misha’s face approached Yoon Chahyun’s face closely. The strong smell of disinfectant was evident up close.With a gaze filled with curiosity and a hint of surprise, Chahyun pondered the meaning behind Misha’s words. The term “reward” probably referred to Misha acknowledging and compensating for the ordeal Chahyun went through. As Chahyun opened his mouth to question, Misha continued at the same time.“What…”“Kiss me.”Wow!Wow…Yoon Chahyun felt like he had been struck in the back of the neck.Yeah, that’s the kind of guy he is.Certainly, until a moment ago, he had behaved like a martyr of love, but as soon as he heard Chahyun’s confession, he unexpectedly brought up an unrelated reward. Now, he was serious and had eyes that didn’t hide his emotions.Yoon Chahyun realized, looking at Misha, that the line between a very pure heart and intense desire was almost indistinguishable. Despite having a face that seemed distant from desires, Misha distinctly demanded love and affection more than anyone else.When dealing with such a person for a long time, one’s own senses sometimes become distorted in life. Well, it’s not a big deal, after all, isn’t it?Yoon Chahyun looked directly into Misha’s face. He still had a puppy-like face, eagerly seeking the owner’s reward, love, and affection. And Yoon Chahyun didn’t dislike dogs.“Misha.”Misha opened his eyes a bit wider.“Crazy guy.”This wasn’t understood by Misha because it was a language he didn’t know. He chuckled slightly.Chahyun reached out and gently grabbed his face, being careful not to touch the wound too much, holding it slightly firmly to ensure it wouldn’t shake no matter what happened.“Don’t move.”Chahyun warned softly. At the same time, he thought he was truly crazy. Just rolling around carelessly, exposing himself to the absurd emptiness of indifference, as if saying, “Do whatever you want.”Instead of bringing Misha’s face closer with his hand, Yoon Chahyun leaned in himself. In that moment, Misha belatedly puckered his lips and called his name, but Chahyun ignored it. Life is about having twists and turns but lacking a backbone.The morning sunlight streaming through the duty room window was pleasant. As Yoon Chahyun brought his lips close to Misha’s, who had the scent of disinfectant on his lips, he felt a strange and indescribable sensation. Even though it could be called a kiss, it was just a superficial touch of their outer lips. A creepy and mysterious feeling of having stepped onto an irreversible path lingered behind his spine.