Killing Cockroaches In Xianxia For Self-Preservation

(Two weeks later)

(Bu Cai POV)

Tossing and turning on my bed soft bed, I felt very uncomfortable and uneasy. But not because of the bed- The bed has no fault.

I am currently feeling like this because today was a very unusual day.

It was a day were I had to do nothing.

For someone such as I, who hasn't been able to go a day without having to do something rigorous- Such as training- this was incredibly unnatural and strange.

And you may just be saying- why don't you just train then you lazy sod?

Well my reply to that would be, in short...No.

Tomorrow is the exact day I will be heading off towards the capital for another tournament, which will be quite important, so I cannot overexert myself by any means.

I've also already sorted everything for my travels...

Well actually... when I say me, I mean all the maids... but there is no need to fret the small things.

I've also planned out all my objectives whilst in the capital and though it may not cover absolutely everything, it's the best I can do currently. 

So generally speaking... I have nothing to do today.

Which as I had mentioned before... is very strange.

However looking outside again, I was determined to not waste away this beautifully sunny day by lazing around being unproductive...

So naturally I came up with a fantastic solution to relieve myself from this torturous boredom... my good friend, Chen Fei!

Him and I have been sworn brothers for half a decade, and his sheer naivety and guilelessness never fails to amuse me.  

This gullibleness arises due to him being a Xianxia NEET (Neglect Everything Except Training), and had never tried to make friends with anyone or get some common sense.

Instead of being normal and interacting with people- like social animals should- he rather thought of everyone as inferior to him due to his status and talent... which I'm guessing is the reason why he would have gone down the self destruction route.

However, am I really someone who will allow some self absorbed brat to think of me as lesser?

Of course not!

So I done the only reasonable thing I could think of and... beat the dictionary definition of 'respect' into him!

Needless to say, after my 'efforts', we became best buds and got along swell!

...Though I will admit that at the very beginning of our brotherhood he was a bit reluctant to accept my friendliness due to him being a loner, it was nothing a few deep conversations couldn't overcome.

After a while, he started to warm up to me and I finally achieved high enough on the relationship meter for him to tell me about his life story- The usual touching moments you get in Xianxia.

And to sum it down to the very basics-

...

-Mother died from birthing the demon spawn(Chen Ru)

Depression hit from the loss.

Sticking all the blame onto innocent younger sibling for existing.

Father being the exact opposite of a parent and tending to more pressing matters than family drama.

Eventually he awakened his over ambitious desire of reaching the pinnacle of the Dao so that he could resurrect his mother.

...

Quite a noble cause if I do say so myself, and after hearing all that I also realised that Xianxia novels dragged YMs' reputation in shit too much, as he honestly isn't too bad of a guy and absolutely nothing like those lowlives protrayed in Xianxia.

However after getting to know a lot more about him over the years, a huge flaw became very noticeable to me and it was that..

...He was a sheltered and ignorant kid.

Which made him absolutely fucking hilarious.

His cluelessness combined with his relatively short temper made him a source of entertainment that bested many other forms of amusement.

...

To give you an example...

One time, I vividly remember completely obscuring the value of bread, harping on about how it could only be made with valuable materials and incredible skillful individuals- even bullshitted to the point of saying that it was passed down from a mighty cultivators legacy.   

And... He believed me word for fucking word!

He began treasuring bread as if it was his ancestors ashes, and was immensely remorseful over how wasteful he had been when he wasted bread previously. 

However this trickery all came to an end when he suddenly began roaring at his father and sister at the dining table, insisting that they are being wasteful for consuming the 'Holy Grail' with such reckless abandon.

Of course, after getting thoroughly lectured and punished he realised that everything I had spouted to him was baloney.

...HAHAHAHAHAHA

I still can't hold back my laughter when thinking back on his furious expression the next day, as he pulled out his sword with the intent of ending me there and then for all the indignation he had suffered.

...Good days, good days.

I muster up the energy to get out from bed... then make my way outside and hop on my good old flying sword.

Since I am incapable of flying hitting nascent soul realm, I need to use a proxy- which in this case is my stylish spirit sword.

I then make sure to waste no time and head towards Chen Fei's abode.

I'll leave it up to your imagination, however I will say that his abode is as manifique as it gets.

It's like your average luxurious and fancy ancient Chinese home, but increased by a factor of ten.

...

Upon arrival, I get off the sword and head to the door to give it a good knock knock.

But I don't follow through with that course of action as an angry scream of a girl blasts into my poor ears and what I get the pleasure of hearing...

"...DON'T YOU DARE GET IN THE WAY OF MY LOVE!"

"IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT INTERRUPTING THIS DATE OF MINE, THEN I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!"

Ahh yes. Good old Chen Ru back at it again with her booming anger that even impresses a reincarnated individual such as myself- this in itself should be testament to it's surprise factor.

I wonder if somethings wrong with her in the fact that she's having that time of the month- but daily.

But I guess this will remain a mystery science still can't solve today.

...

And you may or may not be quite confused right now.

You may be thinking something along the lines of 'Bu Cai, didn't you just tell me that family issues where rampant?'

'I always knew you were a dirty liar, if it was as bad as you say it is then why are they talking to each other?'

Well you are right in the fact that they are talking to each other- Well... shouting in fact.

However what sort of friend would I be if I don't help him out?

So of course, as an adept family man such as myself, how could I not extend my experience...

And the fix here was something relatively simple in all honesty...

It consisted of me setting up a situation where by both brother and sister can freely express their concerns with each other.

And voila, a new and improved sibling relationship!

It felt a bit too easy if you asked me, but I wasn't going to complain as I follow the motto of, 'If it works, it works'.

Anyways, coming over here and overhearing this sudden turn of events, I felt this wasn't a good sign for me.

Especially since I knew I was the root of this problem... So I made the educated decision and got the fuck out of there.

However fate seemed to hav eother plans in store as just when I was going to zoom away on my Swordster-500, I heard a...

*Creeeeaaak*

Then shortly after wards I felt the surroundings become a a few degrees Celsius colder.

Turning around, I was hoping it was my hallucinations, and that it wasn't Chen Ru.

But to my despair I see the same shockingly beautiful young girl who I recognised as Chen Ru in front of me.

She wore a calm smile alongside a deep and intense stare down- It was honestly kind of scary.

Then talking in an almost ominous tone she said seriously...

"Did."

"You."

"Hear."

"Me?"

...

*Gulp*

...

HOLY SHIT!

Why the has her whole character done a 180?

Did she not take her pills this morning or something?!

I was anticipating her to say something more like,

"D-D-Did you hear us just now?!"

Or

"D-Don't m-m-misunderstand s-stupid!"

...

I mask my shock of a lifetime by wearing a poker face, and reply with as much composure as possible...

"Hear?"

"Hear what?"

"I only just arrived here, and wanted to ask if your big brother wanted to around the sect with me right now."

The mysterious chill vanished, and she went back to her usual cheerful tone and replied,

"If that''s the case then everything is fine!"

She then said in a genuine remorseful tone,

"I regrettably have got something to do right now so I am unable to join you both... however I can't wait for our dat-trip around the capital!"

Her cheeks flushed bright pink as she almost said date, and hastily bade farewell then turned around and left...

...

What in the name of heaven and earth was that?

Have I missed something here?

I already used [Analyse] to check up on any changes but nothing came up.

However I knew for a fact that she was clearly not the usual entitled girl that I knew!

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked around at Chen Fei who was leaning on the door.

He seems to be in a very unpleasant mood.

Currently he is staring back at me anxiously.

We both give each other a nod, then walk in silence...

Seems like all that time I've spent with him hasn't been wasted.

We both appear to have a mutual understanding in the fact that, we shall leave what should be unspoken, unspoken.

He rounds of this whole turn of events by saying,

"I sincerely wish you the best of luck brother Bu, as although you are an annoying dog sometimes. Even I don't want this to befall you."

...Anyways, I've been bored out my mind today and was honestly waiting for you to arrive.

...

Well... let's just gloss over that ambiguous and vague statement for now.

I'll just focus on having fun!

So first things first we decide to head to a place where one would least expect amusement...

The main missions hall.

Contrary to expectation there are some, for the lack of a better word, 'interesting' requests here .

For example:

--------------------------------------------

(Personal Request)

Need assistance!

My useless waste of a son, Chen Tou, seems to be incapable with talking to females- Especially beautiful ones.

So to fix this disastrous issue, I am looking for women who are able have a nice conversation with him and help him overcome this illness!

My requirements are:

-Applicant must be at least a 8/10 in beauty.

-Applicant must be intelligent and easy-going so that my son is able to fluidly converse with you.

-Applicant must be a good listener and be able to understand my son and his plights.

-Applicant must be less than 150 years old.

Rewards:

-100 Clan points.

-A spirit revolving herb- black grade

-An opportunity to become my son's Dao Companion, if their is chemistry between both parties.

If you are interested in this, please come to XXX XXX XXX District and knock on my, Outer Elder Chen Ten's, door so that I can see your qualifications before you meet my son.

--------------------------------------------------

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

The fuck is this?

Tinder, Xianxia edition?

Both Chen Fei and I are rolling on the ground hysterically laughing after reading that pathetic display of a mission.

Doesn't that father feel any remorse for how much he has demeaned his son?

However the rewards were truly quite juicy.

A full blown black grade herb for a date?

If I was a woman, I be first to jump on this mission as all you have to do is talk to some awkward guy and then I'd receive some really good cultivation materials.

It was honestly just a giveaway.

Sadly I wasn't a woman, so I couldn't do so.

But didn't give up and entertained the idea of tricking Chen Fei to cross dress for that guy.

Regrettably though, he didn't fall for it.

*Sigh* Why must he mature?

...

However putting aside the dumb requests. There are, of course, some seriously scary but cool missions, such as...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

(Clan Assigned Mission)

Hunt a rampant spirit beast-

A martial lord realm flood dragon has been causing havoc in the northern region.

Last spotted in district XYZ, and in the country of ZYX

Slay it.

Rewards:

-Earth grade herb- nine leafed lotus

-Any earth grade offensive mystical technique from mystique library.

-400 Clan Points

----------------------------------------------------------------------

*Gulp*

Damn, those rewards are looking scrumptious.

However both of us know that we would get obliterated by a martial lord realm flood dragon, as although they are not true dragons- which if it was then the whole world would be in an uproar- but they do still have a sliver of bloodline and relation.

This therefore makes them extremely powerful, ferocious, and fast. However their bodies are great for making weapons, cultivation materials, or great materials for alchemy and pills.

So after a while of checking out multiple quirky or serious missions, we flew to the outer area where all the markets are and check it out.

...

Soon the moon rises, and darkness descends.

We both decide to head home.

However just as we are about to part ways, Chen Fei gets a call from his father through a spiritual jade slip.

He then asks...

"Do you want to come round for dinner tonight?"

"Father told me to invite you, and tell you that you are welcome to join."

Dinner with the Clan leader, Chen Ru, and Chen Fei?

...

"FUCK YES!"

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Author's Note:

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed!

Any suggestions or feedback is appreciated.

Didn't find any chance to explain it, so here are the rankings for things in the world through the non system way-

Yellow Grade- Body Refining/Qi Refining

Black Grade- Qi Condensation/Gold Core

Earth Grade- Nascent Soul/Martial Lord

Heaven Grade- Martial King/Martial Emperor

Immeasurable grade- Martial God/...