KILL ALL KAIJU

Ryker moved first.

There was none of the strict and measured control that had guided him all night, only the speed of a striking viper as his tail whipped out towards the man. Restraining him in the instant before he could let out a cry for help, the words choked off before they could even leave the man’s lungs. A tight wheeze was the only sound he was able to make as Ryker completely wrapped his tail around his chest. Feeling trapped arms and ribs bend far too easily under his tail’s grip as Ryker yanked the man to his right. Pressing the man hard against the wall to hide them both in the deep shadows of the alley. The man’s eyes were wide with fear as he struggled to breathe. Legs kicking uselessly several feet above the ground as he stared helplessly towards the monster looming above him as that same monster stared right back with hungry eyes.

Ryker had acted quickly out of necessity but now, the Kaiju was spellbound. Not caring in the least that saliva was beginning to trail down from his parted lips and drip onto the ground. A part of Ryker’s mind fearfully cast his awareness outward as he tried and failed to look away from his captive. Mixed senses listening all around him for the ripple of flavored colors that he’d been fearing to hear all night. An alarm? A scream? Anything?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Nobody heard me. The hunger inside Ryker’s mind whispered in his own voice. Nobody even saw me.

Ryker’s mind felt distant as his body took a single step forward, making no sound on the concrete. Unconsciously working his tongue over his teeth and feeling every unbloodied fang in his mouth as Ryker breathed out slowly. Not even registering the horror in the man’s eyes as his mouth worked soundlessly, trying in vain to wring a scream out of the little air he could suck into his lungs.

The former pilot almost felt something continue to pull him forward as he listened to the rapid-fire drum of his captive’s heart. Feeling it through his tail and unable to make himself forget it with the stench of fear all around. The potent aroma flowing into Ryker’s nose and like a vintage wine as it spiraled into his other senses. Mixed with the tang of blood from down the alley Ryker almost felt drunk on the myriad of singing colors as they harmonized with a part of Ryker he was unable to ignore.

There isn’t anybody that knows I’m here. Except for you. Ryker’s treasonous mind reasoned. I could just…

His will fought back against the predatory instincts inside his body. But the siege the Kaiju within had waged on his thoughts and human morals had been constant tonight. The steady attrition slowly wearing Ryker down as the hours passed during this long night skulking through the town.

Ryker pushed against the instincts harder, raged against it even as part of him bent an ear to its call. It was too tempting to ignore, almost too tempting to even reason against as his mind clung desperately to his human past. Like the memories alone could keep him from sinking down into the waiting depths of darker thoughts.

He forced himself to remember his family, his friends, and all the people he’d spent a lifetime saving. All the names and faces he could recall and couldn’t remember flashing across his eyes in a rush as he felt something more than the call of his own wild hunger. Guilt, shame, love, and a dozen other emotions flooded forth and buoyed him enough to keep him above the waves. But it wasn’t enough to reject the instincts outright, if anything it seemed to make them more pronounced in his mind.

They grew louder. Brighter, and so much sweeter than the flickers of memory.

Ryker took another step forwards to stand in front of his captive, close enough that the man could have reached out to touch his chest if Ryker’s tail hadn’t been restraining his arms. Even suspended several feet off the ground Ryker loomed over the human, bright eyes looking down with a dark intent as his head titled to the side. The animal in him questioning his own hesitation as his human mind raced for a solution that would keep him from spilling human blood.

He searched all his many years for any shred of experience controlling himself. Remembering the few times he’d tried restraining hi emotions, but only found failure. Time and time again he’d always failed to reign in his own wrathful anger until he stopped trying at all. The simple truth was that Ryker had never needed to control himself before, not like he needed to now. It could even be said that he had been glad he couldn’t as he constantly threw himself into combat. Always fighting with near suicidal abandon so he could rage against the monsters of the world. Even armored in scales instead of metal he was still the same on the inside, a creature of instinct. A man who’d lived for the battle and the moments he could take all his pain and let it out.

But then it came to him.

A word, a voice. In a place so long ago. The precious memory of a dear friend taken before her time.

“You’re doing it wrong.”

Ryker’s eyes blinked open in frustration as he glowered at the woman across from him. The barracks on base were rarely quiet but Ryker had finally managed to find some time alone to himself. Sacrificing precious time in the Rec Room playing cards with the others to get it too. That the very woman who’d insisted this whole meditation thing was worth it was, at this very moment, ruining his concentration did not sit well with Ryker. “Well enlighten me Riley. How exactly am I closing my eyes wrong?”

“Meditating isn’t about closing your eyes Ryker. Or squeezing them shut like you’ve got lemon juice in them.” Riley said with a sigh. “You’re supposed to-”

“I know what it’s supposed to be!” Ryker said testily more than a little annoyed. “But I don’t feel like I’m getting any better at this.”

“I can tell.” Riley said sagely. Producing a small box of apple juice from somewhere and swiftly piercing the top with a bendy straw. “Watching you mediate is like looking at a Sith trying to commune with the Dark Side.” She said after taking a sip of her juice. Looking at Ryker pointedly with her eyebrows raised. Somehow still looking serious despite the straw in her mouth.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you’re trying to force it.” Riley said folding her arms over one another. “Then you get angry you’re trying to force it, then you get angry at the fact that you’re angry because your the whole reason you’re doing this is so you don’t get angry. It’s not an uncommon issue, I get it.”

“Alright.” Ryker said nodding as he picked a spot on the wall to glare into. It would cave well before the red headed pilot would. “But still, I meant that other thing.”

“What other thing?” Riley said frowning slightly. Clearly perplexed.

“The Sith thing? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t…” Riley started before trailing off. Her expression unusually sour as she stared at Ryker. “Come on Ryker don’t do this to me. Star Wars? Come on, please tell me you know what that is.”

“Umm…Oh yeah!” Ryker said snapping his fingers after a moment. “That movie that came out a few years ago-”

“Not that new shit.” Riley said actually looking slightly angry as she pinched the bridge of her nose with a scowl. “Please don’t test me Ryker. I’m trying to help you.”

“What? I thought it was alright. The fights were cool.”

“The fights were cool.” Riley said repeating the words like they left a bad taste in her mouth before shaking her head. “You know what? No. I’m not going to try and explain the hundreds of reasons your wrong about liking any part of that garbage reboot of a reboot.”

“Ah, touched a nerve I see.” Ryker said mischievously. “Never took you for a movie critic.”

“Don’t you swear at me Ray, I’m not a critic.” Riley said with a hint of disgust in her voice as she pointed a finger at Ryker in accusation. With the same hand holding her juice box. Somehow making Ryker feel as if he just crossed a line he hadn’t known was there. “I’m a fan with standards. Unlike everyone else who claps like seals for the slop these days.”

The red head started pacing in front of Ryker, clearly worked up as Ryker stared in open surprise at his usually stoic comrade. As the woman who was rumored to be on the short list for promotion to squad leader, the same one who never once lost her cool in front of others. Lost it right in front of him as her voice steadily grew in heat.

“You’d think with everything they have they could make it work for once right? They can afford A.I. script writers, all the CGI they’d ever need even if the effects are cheaper than dirt these days, even with exclusive rights to use the same deceased actors in the movies they’re remaking they could get everything right. But they never do. You’d think they could at least make original movies that are at least half decent, with the war going on but no! They can’t help but add more and more expensive trash to the garbage heap. There is a downright offensive level of mediocrity in modern film that I just can’t take anymore. There’s no art in cinema anymore Ryker, just soulless studios and talentless hacks given free reign to repeatedly bastardize the same legendary franchises our grandparents grew up with.” Riley said animatedly as she started gesturing sharply with her hands. Eyes blazing and passionate in a way Ryker had literally never seen before, even when they were fighting for their lives together in the field.

“Movies used to mean something Ryker. They used to build theaters everywhere so everyone could get together and watch someone’s vision come to life. It took hundreds of people to make the real movies back in the day, even thousands with the older special effect teams, miniatures, extras, and stunt men. Just the idea of that makes me want to cry with how beautiful it is. Now that’s gone. Now entertainment is just this giant grey glob of empty, safe, derivative, garbage! Put together with spread sheets and useless data points put together by corporate suits who have never experienced fun in their lives so their movies can be shown to as wide a market as possible. Do you realize how bad that is Ray! We’re supposed to be entertained by people who couldn’t prove they have a single creative bone in their body. Who couldn’t prove there’s a creative bone in their entire family line even if they traced it all the way back to the stone age.” Riley said fiercely. Her face growing as red as her hair for once as she face palmed.

“Jesus, don’t even get me started on all the reboots coming out now.” Riley said venomously. The word “reboot” leaving her mouth like a vicious slur. As she ticked off each violation against cinema on a finger. “Star Wars has had three reboots Ryker. Three! Star Trek has two with another in the works, The Lord of the Rings reboots bombed so bad its nothing but a bunch of creatively bankrupt TV shows now. The most successful of which is a Gimli origin story mind you. John Wick was rebooted with a cat, a cat they refuse to kill! Completely ignoring the fact that the entire reason for his killing spree in the original was-”

“Hey, hey easy there!” Ryker said. Barely managing to hold in his laugh as he smiled till his cheeks hurt. The pilot raised his hands in total surrender, his failures in meditation forgotten. “Put down the pitchfork and torches alright? Didn’t mean to poke the red headed bear and set you on the warpath.”

Riley seemed to realize she might have gone overboard in her tirade as she groaned softly and rand a hand over her face. Taking a deep breath in before acknowledging Ryker again.

“It’s… fine. It’s fine.” Riley said reluctantly. Clearly not fine as she aggressively sipped the last of her juice through the straw until she was just sucking the air out of the carton. Once the juice box had caved in on itself and Riley was content she’d gotten the last drop of apple juice available she collected herself. Once again the cool headed pilot as she sighed.

“I’m sorry about that. Risking our lives out here fighting all the time takes a lot out of me and I just wanna have something good to look forward to when I get back, you know? I was practically raised on those older movies and I’m always hunting down any theaters still open with everything going on. I hit them up whenever I can leave the base for a bit. So when the only new movies available to show are all trash…”

“Ouch. That sucks.” Ryker said with sympathy. Then his face brightened as he got an idea. “We’ve got screens and projectors here though, some really good ones. Why not set something up in the Rec Room? I could round up the others and we could all pitch in for a movie night every week or so. You could pick out flicks we haven’t seen and make our own theater on base.”

Riley smiled softly but shook her head sadly, almost pained. “I know you mean well Ryker but please don’t do any of that alright? I…” Riley stopped as her mouth worked silently, something wet shining in her eyes before she furiously blinked it away.

“It’s the only thing that lets me get away from this. I won’t bring that here. Not in this place, its too close to… everything. I don’t think I could bear it. You and the others are great, you know I’d do anything for you all, its just-”

“You’re good Riley.” Ryker said. Understanding exactly what Riley was trying to say. He knew how desperately he’d wanted to escape what was happening as a kid. Just a few years ago he’d buried himself in games so deeply he barely came up for air. It was the only thing he had at the time that let him feel like he had some semblance of control in a world gone mad. “We all get through in our own way. Don’t feel bad for wanting that.”

“Thanks.” Riley said. Relaxing a bit as she smirked and gestured to Ryker. “Well look at me. I thought I was here to help cheer you up, not get it turned around on me. Some help I am.”

“You still can if you want.” Ryker said. Scooting over on his bed and patting the spot next to him. “I could use a bit of help.”

“Right then… I think I’ll do that.” Riley said. Not hesitating at all to take a seat on the bed. Anyone looking in might have guessed at something else going on with Ryker and Riley so close but there wasn’t any hint of romance between the pilots as they sat together. There was only the trust that formed between two pilots who’d quickly become friends as they looked out for one another. On the battlefield and off of it.

“Meditation isn’t about forcing things Ryker. There’s a lot of different kinds of meditation techniques out there but at the end of the day it’s about being still and recognizing what’s going on in your head without getting wrapped up in everything you may be feeling.” Riley said intently. “There’s a measure of control in that and that simple kind of mindfulness is a good place for someone like you to start. So whatever you’re feeling? Just let it run wild in your head without trying to hold it back. You have to honestly look at what you feel and understand what causes it so you aren’t ruled by it. Don’t even try to shame or blame yourself for feeling it either. You’ve got to stop fighting it. Those negative emotions will only make your feelings spiral and get worse. Just be patient, look at what you’re feeling like your on the outside looking in as you focus on how that emotion is affecting you.” The pilot said pausing as she looked at Ryker meaningfully.

“Recognizing that will help.” Riley said. Leaning forward on the bed as Ryker gave her his full attention. All of his earlier levity slipping from his face as he thought seriously on her answer. Then shook his head as he looked away.

“What’s the point of just recognizing it though? How is that supposed to help? I know what I feel when I’m out there Riley.” Ryker said tiredly. “To be honest, even knowing the trouble it causes you and the others… I don’t think I want to stop feeling it. Just the thought of letting go of it freaks me out. It’s the only thing that’s keeps me from losing it sometimes you know? It grounds me. It makes sense, it feels right, and when I get out there? When I really start fighting…” Ryker trailed off before looking Riley in the eyes. “I can forget how much I’ve lost for a few minutes. As stupid as it sounds, that’s the closest thing to peace I think I’ve ever known.”

Riley held Ryker’s gaze for a moment. Letting the silence speak for itself as she went over her words before responding. “I’m not telling you to reject that feeling Ryker. The goal isn’t to make you an emotionless mech piloting monk. It’s more than that.”

“So what are you telling me to do then?” Ryker asked plainly.

“Accept that thing you hate is a part of you. That’s where you can start.” Riley said with a compassionate smile. “When you reject something you’re feeling outright, especially something you won’t admit is a part of you, it feeds it in a way. Makes it stronger and harder to deal with. You won’t get anywhere fighting against your own thoughts and feelings because those just aren’t going to go away. No matter how much you may want them to. The goal of all of this isn’t to crush what you feel during a fight or to bury it so you never have to deal with it again. Its to live with it and move on.”

Riley paused as she reached into her jacket. Pulling another juice box out of a pocket and surprising Ryker when she offered it to him. “How about you take a break for a bit and reset before you try again?”

Ryker took the juice box and nodded as he smiled. ‘Thanks Riley, I’d like that.” Ryker said. Trying to spear the straw through the top in one smooth motion like Riley did and messing it up on the first try.

The simple Apple juice was room temperature, but went down with a sweetness that almost shocked Ryker’s taste buds. The small carton still looked like something that should have belonged in a kid’s lunchbox instead of a military base, so in that way it was kind of embarrassing but Ryker found himself wishing he’d tried some sooner. It was nice, refreshing in a way that water wasn’t. How long had it been since he’d sat down and relaxed like this? Since he’d enjoyed a sip of something instead of chugging down a mix of energy drink and nutrient paste to make up for skipping meals while in the simulators? Ryker couldn’t recall.

“I’m not consumed by anger during combat though.” Ryker said off handedly after a comfortable moment of silence. “It doesn’t stop me from fucking up Kaiju does it? In a way its kind of a good thing overall.”

“Really Ryker?” Riley said not fooled in the slightest. “Remind me again how you lost you’re Armor’s entire arm a few days ago?”

“Okay, cheap blow. But I made it work in the end didn’t I?”

“I’m not going to praise you for beating a Kaiju to death with your own detached arm.”

“The others thought it was cool.” Ryker said defensively.

“The others are trying to get half the base to set up a betting pool on what part of your Armor you’ll destroy next.” Riley said pointedly. “By the way, I have fifty bucks on you breaking your Armor’s leg off to smack a Kaiju while you hop around on one foot. So try and do that next time as a favor to me.”

“You know you just lost fifty bucks right?” Ryker said smugly. “That wasn’t very smart of you. You sure you were at the top of your class once?”

“Right...” Riley said slowly before she raised a hand. “Five words Ryker.” She said devilishly. “Try and keep up.”

One finger went up as Riley sounded out the first word. Like she was making sure a cave man could understand.

“Reverse.”

The second finger went up.

“Psychology.”

The three fingers in succession as Riley ticked them off.

“One. Oh. One. How else am I gonna convince you to bring your armor back in one piece hm?”

Ryker clutched his heart and grunted with mock hurt. He definitely walked right into that one. Taking another long sip before he responded again without removing the straw from his mouth as he muttered. “Least I’m popular.”

“With pilots sure, hell there’s even a non zero chance I could even be one of them.” Riley said before pointing at Ryker. “But the mechanics hate you. Seriously, they really really hate you Ryker. I hear the Chief Armor Tech in particular has a grudge for what you do to her work every time you go out. She has to be led out of the mech bay by her people whenever you come back from a mission so she doesn’t strangle you.”

Riley smoothly pulled out yet another juice box and swiftly pieced the top as she nonchalantly added. “Honestly, I think if she had the chance she’d totally kill you.”

Ryker laughed.

Riley did not.

“Oh… oh shit you’re serious?” Ryker asked worriedly.

“Yeah.” Riley said easily. “Fair warning, I’d double up on your diagnostic checks before going out just in case she booby traps your Armor to explode or something. Be sure to check for any improvised explosives too. She does handle a lot of munitions. It’d be easy to make some disappear and put it somewhere important.”

Ryker paused for a moment staring at Riley with a sudden surge of overwhelming concern for his Armor and his safety. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen the Chief Armor Tech at all when he returned from missions. Not for a month at least, and she’d looked angry back then too.

“How long till we go out again?” Ryker asked quickly.

“Another five hours.” Riley said easily.

“Great…” Ryker said pointing at the door. “I’m just gonna…”

“Go on. You won’t be able to meditate till you get that off your mind.”

“Did you wait to tell me that on purpose?”

“I did. Just in case you needed a good distraction after so many failed attempts.” Riley said. Casually sipping from her juice box as she innocently met Ryker’s gaze. “Is it working?”

Ryker rose from the bed with a stormy expression, grumbling curses all the while as he power walked to the door. Immediately hooking a right in the hall to turn towards the main docking bay. He could swear he heard the smile in Riley’s voice as she called after him.

“Remember Ryker! Accept don’t reject!”

I’m so sorry Riley. Ryker thought as his mind lingered on the conversation he’d once had with the pilot. I never did what you told me to. I just got worse after you died. I should have listened to you back then. Maybe if I did I wouldn’t be here now.

Ryker’s constant battle against his instincts faltered as he remembered Riley’s advice. She’d meant her words to help his anger of course, not this monstrous hunger he felt that matched his new nature. They had been meant to help him control his human self only. Could they even apply to something human beings never felt? The killer instincts of the very monsters they’d spent a lifetime fighting?

It didn’t matter.

Even after remembering Riley’s wisdom and how she’d specifically told him to accept what he felt every part of Ryker rebelled against the idea. He wanted to keep fighting it. To carve a rock solid line between his humanity and the beast within until he could cage it and kill it one piece at a time. But it was beyond clear that Ryker’s strategy wasn’t working. That the way he’d been fighting against the hunger only seemed to make it worse in his mind as the seconds passed.

Okay Riley. Okay. Ryker thought as he let the image of the woman fade from his mind. I don’t want to do this but… I trust you. I always did. Ryker thought to himself as he forcefully relaxed his mind’s constant battle against his inner demons. Even as he felt sick at the idea of allowing his bestial instincts to go unchallenged like they were part of himself, like they didn’t need to be raged against. Ryker let the primal need wash over him as he mentally pulled away.

Let it run wild in your head without trying to hold it back. You have to honestly look at what you feel and understand it so you aren’t ruled by it. Riley’s voice echoed like she’d told him a lifetime ago. As Ryker repeated what she said to himself.

Don’t even try to shame or blame yourself for feeling it. You’ve got… to stop… fighting it… Ryker thought to himself as he decided to follow Riley’s advice to the letter. His eyes growing distant as the inhuman hunger radiated through him as he only focused on recognizing what he felt. Not hating it or rejecting it as he wanted to but allowing it to remain. Holding the feeling in the center of his awareness, Ryker finally accepted what the hunger was pushing him to do.

What it made him want to do.

I really wanna eat you. Ryker thought as his shoulders relaxed and he sighed with need. Leaning his head down to smell the man trembling in his tail’s grasp again. Not shying away from the desire he felt this time as the tip of his snout lowered until it was in front of the man’s face, merely inches away as his wide yellow eyes locked on the human all his senses told him was food. The same way I wanted to eat so many different people tonight. Even though I know its wrong. That its essentially murder eating you, you’re all just… so damn tempting I can’t stand it.

Ryker brought up a claw to steady himself against the wall he was holding the thin man against as his breathing increased in pace as his anticipation built. Coming out in warm gusts that ruffled the man’s hair as his head rose again to loom over him. Mouth watering, Ryker made no attempt to stop the few drops of saliva that fell onto the man’s head and shoulders as he struggled to scream for help. With a small effort his tail unconsciously flexed just a bit tighter, shifting just enough to expose the head and shoulders for a clean bite.

The way you breathe. The way that heart beats like its making music in your chest. It’s like you all want me to. Just seeing you all stand around and move so slowly, knowing I can catch you makes me wanna run out into the street and… and see what I’ve been missing out on.

The human part of Ryker recoiled as he admitted what he’d been feeling. Even as the Kaiju in him reveled in finding the words to describe what he’d been suppressing all night. It made him feel a sickening level of relief, like the admission released something in his chest. It was so freeing and yet so terrifying that it could feel that way at all as his human reason worked to rationalize something monstrous.

Everyone else is innocent as far as I know but you’re a bad guy right? The kind that hurts other people for money or fun? Would the world really miss a little rat like you? I’d still be doing good for humanity. Just be removing a problem with a more… permanent solution.

The focus and attention Ryker was finally giving his hunger wasn’t truly embracing his nature, only identifying how deep the desire was as he loosened the leash he’d ruthlessly held on it all night. Hoping to find its source and sever its influence on him. But even leaving himself open to it, it felt too close. Like he was wavering on a knife edge and wasn’t sure if he was becoming more of a man trying to make a hard choice or a monster picking the easiest option.

He had been human once, that mattered- No, still mattered like it would always matter. Even becoming a Kaiju couldn’t wash his humanity away that easily. But at the same time there was nothing left of him that was human. He was a Kaiju. One of the enemy in body and in mind. That wasn’t going to change either as much as he desperately wished at times that it could and he could go back. He was merely accepting that he felt what the Kaiju in him deeply wanted. Recognizing the dark desire working in him like Riley had taught him to recognize his own hating anger, as much good as that had done him.

But Ryker was still holding on. Reigning in the beast that yearned to shake its restraints and live without control. Searching himself, Ryker hoped for some kind of revelation, a break somewhere inside that would let him reign in the instinct at last but it wouldn’t come. Not as long as he continued to grind his teeth together so hard his jaws ached with the strain as a stubborn piece of Ryker refused to let go completely and continued to hold his mouth shut. Dreading the worst if he released the hate and loathing he held for what his body wanted and he was beginning to desire.

He knew it was inside him. The answer, the key that Riley hoped he’d find that would finally give him control himself. But it was at the bottom of an abyss and Ryker was already too close to the edge. Too unwilling to to gaze into the darkness and see what looked back.

The tether of shameful restraint and self hatred frayed as it held Ryker back. Desperate to keep him from losing control completely. Sure that if he released his hold now he’d lose his last chance to remain the man he had once been. That it would mean crossing a line he could never come back from. But what choice did he have? How else was he going to find a way to keep his hunger from overwhelming him? So with a terrible hope that he wasn’t making the biggest mistake of his new life Ryker… just let go.

Accepting the monster he now was.

Ryker’s eyes closed as he pushed away the world. The ripples of color and sound that danced into his other senses falling back into their proper places as Ryker focused on the meal he held captive in the dark before him. A perverse sense of peace overtaking him as he soaked it all in. Just knowing that he could take his time to savor this moment sent a shiver of true excitement through Ryker. He’d never gotten a chance to properly enjoy his other meals, but now? There was no need to hurry, no need to rush and stuff meat down his throat to run somewhere else. There wasn’t even anything trying to take his food from him. Finally this meal, unlike all the others he’d passed by and let go before. This one was all…

Mine. Ryker thought grinning. His smile stretching as his jaws parted until his maw opened wide. Drool spilling out from between his teeth in small rivers as he divorced all judgement and thought from the animal instincts now driving him. Guiding him as he loomed over his meal and dipped his head down towards the head of the prey he’d been purposefully avoiding all night.

The human before Ryker shuddered violently in his grip as Ryker slid his tongue over the thug’s neck. Drawing out the exploratory lick with a primal satisfaction as he felt another feeble attempt to break free at his touch. The animal in him savoring every sensation as he felt the warmth of human skin and had to hold back from immediately tearing it open so he could taste what lay beneath. The too fast patter of a panicked heart thrummed against his tongue. Every heartbeat a sweet promise of the blood it would spill for him if he silenced it. And the fear, the delicious fear was so thick in his nose and in his mouth he wanted to draw it into his lungs until he choked on it.

Ryker’s unleashed hunger reveled in every detail as it was allowed to roam free. He felt everything, tasting it all as saliva slicked over a whimpering human face. The texture of smooth unscaled skin, the added saltiness of sweat, and the shivers he felt under his touch almost making him bite down right then and there. Every bit of it reverberating through his awareness like the heat from an open fire.

He moved slowly. Opening his jaws wide enough to envelop the thug’s head and shoulders as Ryker carefully started to bite down. Letting let himself sink into the moment before he ended it. His own hot breath mixing with the hyperventilated breathing of his food in his mouth as his maw closed down. Stopping only as his fangs pierced thin cloth of clothes to meet the unprotected skin of a human neck and shoulders. That constant, teasing heartbeat reverberated through his fangs like tuning forks as his prey’s desperate thrashing made Ryker’s fangs prick the skin. Tiny beads of blood welling up around his teeth and dripping into his mouth as Ryker lapped up every drop with a dark delight.

For a dreadful moment Ryker sat in the middle of the storm of predatory hunger raging in his mind. His eyelids fluttering as he yearned for the pure pleasure of another kill. Every part of his body and mind waiting for the instant his jaws clamped down and opened the floodgates as he drank in the blood that he just knew would gush out from the stump of his prey’s neck like a warm tide. Every little thing about it made him want to do it even as he recognized the line it would cross. It was so tempting that Ryker couldn’t help a treasonous part of his true self rationalize all the reasons he should give in to that sweetness then and there, even as he tried to find a way to make it feel wrong like it was supposed to. But how could he? It felt so right. He’d done enough good to make up for eating a bad man like this hadn’t he? That didn’t make him bad. It barely felt like something that could be bad anyway. He’d worked hard for this. He deserved a reward for doing so much to help others. He would still be good after this. But more importantly than that…

It tasted so good.

Inside his mind, right on the edge of indulging in what he wanted so badly Ryker stared into the abyss. Not giving into the desperate human urge to fight back the powerful instinct that would inevitably make it stronger, he examined his hunger at a mental and emotional distance he’d never been able to achieve before to control his own anger. Forced to seek it out like his life depended on it, because in a way it did.

He searched it with a calculating calm. Watching carefully, he catalogued every sensation coursing through him like he was running a diagnostic on his Armor. The constant feeling of hunger and wanting was there of course, but it wasn’t just a simple desire acting alone in Ryker’s mind. Nor was it just the pang of mindless bloodthirsty violence Ryker had repeatedly dismissed it as. It was a need. Roaring and howling with a singular purpose.

Grow stronger.

He felt it in every part of himself. It was a hollow in his bones, so deep it felt like an ache in the marrow. It was a tightness in his muscles, one that only seemed to relax when he knew he was progressing. It was a fire in his blood, burning in his heart like it was eager to pump life into new flesh and muscle.

That constant urge to grow stronger was in his mind too. Not just something grafted onto his psyche by his Kaiju body but born of his own human will. Because he wanted to grow stronger too, more than anything.

The pure desperation he felt to outpace the monsters that would bring about humanity’s end was crushing. Demanding he never stop moving. But that need had changed as he grew close to his Capstone ability. Began to feed into the hunger to grow stronger inherent to all Kaiju until it nearly overwhelmed him. Until he could no longer recognize anything of himself in that constant need for strength.

This… This is because of me… Ryker thought. Stunned and shocked the discovery within himself. He understood in an instant what was wrong. Why his human desire for strength and Kaiju nature fed on each other like they were stuck in a feedback loop.

It was because… he’d seen it. The end of the world itself. Lived through the never-ending horror of fighting a war against extinction until every last one of his friends fell around him. Until his own body failed him.

That was what had made the murderous hunger so strong. Knowing he hadn’t been enough to stop what was coming the first time had made him feel desperation that nearly verged on panic. Forced his subconscious to look at every human being around him as uneaten fuel for his growth. Deep down, part of him had recognized that. Knew how it could gain the strength he wanted. The strength he needed to save the future. Staring into the abyss of his soul Ryker knew how many people it would take to to grow strong.

It wasn’t the cost that frightened him. It was because he knew in his heart that the price was worth paying.

Every time.

For a terrifying heartbeat Ryker nearly gave in and bit down as he weighed an entire future against the life he held between his teeth and knew it was worth it. That it was a price he would pay again and again and again if it meant sparing the world its destruction. How else could he grow strong enough to stop monsters like Storm Breaker? Like Spore Tyrant, Magma Gore, Glacier Fang, and Red Tide? It only made sense to eat whatever and whoever he could if it made him strong enough to prevent what was coming. What were the lives of one measly person before the end of humanity itself? A dozen? A hundred? A thousand? As many as he could find… and as many as he could eat.

They’re all food to Kaiju anyway. Why not me too? Ryker barely breathed as the idea swam in his mind. Unsure if it came from the human or the monster. The thought so clear and in harmony with both sides of him it rang like a bell. All of them… are already dead if nothing changes. It would be a mercy in a way to spare them the horrors to come. I’d be ending their suffering before it ever truly began, denying the other monsters a resource I know I would use for good. For humanity as a whole.

Part of Ryker wanted to rip his throat open right there for even considering that. The thought felt downright treasonous to the pilot he’d been even as it made perfect sense to the monster he now was. Horror and disgust tried to shut the thoughts down but the emotions fell away as the ruthless part of his mind pushed all emotion aside and worked through the idea of eating the humans that were so plentiful in this painfully perfect past. Working out the logistics of how best he could herd people like animals to the slaughter, like so many Kaiju had done before.

I won’t be cruel. Won’t make anyone suffer unnecessarily. I’ll make every kill quick, painless even. Ryker reasoned. The plan spinning out of his mind as it formed easier and more detailed than any plan he’d ever made before. I’ll start small, in quiet towns like this until I’m strong enough to go into the cities by myself. I know where the shelters are going to be built. Where people are going to run and hide. I’ll only take what I need. Break open one or two of the bigger ones. The kind that will be able to hold people by the tens of thousands…

He could see it so clearly. Because he’d fought against Kaiju trying to do the same thing he wanted to do. Only he was so much smarter than they were. He’d ignore the nearly impenetrable vault like doors Kaiju had wasted their strength on and dig through the street until he reached the shelter layer, exploiting the vulnerabilities in the design where the structure was weakest. Break through the top and tear it away to get at all the people gathered inside. He could just reach in and take people by the handful once he was Stage Two. Then grab them by the dozens at Stage Three. Finally sating his hunger for the prey he wanted to eat more than anything. It would make him strong. The strongest of them all as he embraced his new purpose for the good of all.

Feed on humanity to save it.

I. Want. That. Ryker admitted to himself. The thought almost forgiving in a way without the shame and self recrimination that should have buried it. The idea was so in tune with both halves of himself there wasn’t room for anything else. As the fantasy fell away, Ryker returned to himself as he felt his jaws again and the life between his teeth he was on the verge of ending. It would be his first. The first of so many more to come.

I want this! Ryker thought as he started to bite down, his teeth breaking fragile human skin. Suddenly desperate to feel blood burst on his tongue and flow down his throat.

I NEED this!

With effort Ryker’s senses pulled away from the man he was seconds away from eating alive and down the alley. Towards the sounds of a muffled beating taking place not too far away. He could smell blood over there from whoever was being beaten. Blood he wanted to taste that was from someone truly innocent. One of the many uncountable number of lives Ryker had spent a lifetime protecting and was already planning to end with his own claws if it meant growing stronger. That person needed help, his help. But Ryker couldn’t trust himself to even do that as he was now. Losing himself to the hunger now, he knew. Even thought he didn’t want to admit it, he would kill that man.

Even if he went over there to slaughter his attackers to save him he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back from taking every human life in this alley if he gave in now. That he may never be able to hold himself back ever again if he got a taste of that forbidden fruit.

I… I can’t have this. Ryker thought despairingly as his eyes blurred with tears. Realization dawning in his mind as he accepted the truth he’d never allowed himself to accept.

Because I’m weak.

The thought made Ryker groan softly and quiver like a wounded animal. Like something had reached into his chest, into his heart, and gutted his soul. The truth of it burned inside Ryker. He hated it. Hated it worse than the monsters he’d spent his life fighting because it came from him. Because it was so human it couldn’t belong to the beast he’d become.

For my whole life… I’ve been weak.

The tears ran down from his eyes like small rivers. Trailing lines across the scales of his face. Flowing over his lips and mixing with the blood he’d wanted so badly for so many reasons, wrong and right. It was an old pain, a scar so ingrained within his spirit that he’d simply lived with it. The truth of its hurt unfurling as Ryker felt along its jagged edge. Blood and tears bittersweet on his tongue as he quietly wept. Still aching to kill the human at his mercy even now.

I’ve always been weaker than the monsters that could take everything from me. Ryker thought. So vulnerable it made all his strength feel like nothing. From the day I came home from school to find pieces of Mom and Dad in the rubble… to the end of Typhon itself… I was too weak to stop them. Too weak to change anything even a little bit. No matter how hard I tried or how hard I fought it’s never been enough…

Every horrible and tempting thought Ryker’s hunger made him dream up and wanted to indulge in so badly... were all his. A byproduct of becoming a Kaiju yes, but they were thoughts borne of a desire he’d felt all throughout his human life. So core to his being it couldn’t be hated or rejected. Even if he knew what he’d do because of it. The vile thing it would turn him into just so the scarred boy he’d been wouldn’t lose everything again.

Kaiju just want to be strong. I still hate them for that. Hate them for everything they do in service of that. But I hate being weak so much more. I’d eat the world if it would finally make me strong enough to not feel weak anymore. Ryker thought as wetness continued to trail down from his eyes. So I don’t lose Mom and Dad again. So I don’t lose Riley and Beck and Hiro and Silas like I did before. I couldn’t bear going through that again. I’d rather die than lose everyone again all over again because I was still too weak to save them.

He could see it now looking back. The constant upgrades to his Armor. The never ending need for improvement. The refusal to simply accept and train in a single weapon. He had wanted them all, to the point he had refused the advice of every other pilot and veteran he’d worked with. Only stopping once he could wrap his pain in an arsenal big enough to hide his weakness and make him feel strong. It was the reason he’d sought out Beck in the first place as much as it shamed him to admit it. He’d heard rumors of their development of experimental weapons and made himself the perfect test subject for every innovation. Never once stopping his simulated training until he could navigate every combat program by feel alone. Always pushing himself further no matter how much it hurt.

It hurt worse than the acid blood that had blinded his eyes, worse than the pain of dying as fire tore through his human mind but Ryker didn’t reject it. The reason for his own dark desire to feed on humans. The origin of the need to feed on them so badly it had become nearly one with the hunger of the Kaiju inside.

With an act of will more draining than anything he’d ever done before Ryker looked at it, took it all in. That sense of weakness he hated so much more than the monsters he fought because it was the one thing he could never kill. He wanted to tear it out, claw through his chest until he could rip it to pieces, so he could finally feel whole again.

Instead… Ryker accepted it. Embraced it as a part of himself that affected everything else within him. The way it made him need and desire strength. The way it made him resonate with his Kaiju body and its hunger to the point he couldn’t find the line between the two. Until he wanted to kill and eat the people he’d always protected and revel in the taste of them if it meant gaining the strength he’d always craved but never truly had. He accepted that, even though it meant he was more like the monsters he fought than he ever wanted to believe. It made Ryker think that maybe… maybe Beck’s machine hadn’t failed at all…

Maybe it just put him in the body he belonged in.

Ryker opened his jaws then and miraculously, his body finally obeyed. Releasing the man he’d almost eaten from his mouth as Ryker flinched back and wrenched his head away.

The act was done with no small amount of reluctance, he still desperately wanted to bite the man’t head off. More than he ever wanted to believe, but that savage want was a far cry from the maddening need that had plagued Ryker for the past few hours now that he understood it.

Carefully, his tail slowly uncoiled around the unconscious thug, likely scared half to death as the man slipped through Ryker’s grip and crumpled to the ground. Sagging bonelessly against the wall with small cuts on his neck and shoulders from Ryker’s fangs. The wet slick of saliva sliding down the man’s head and chest in fat drops the only other sign his life had almost come to an end this night.

Ryker let out a shuddering breath as he took an unsteady step away from the unconscious man and pressed a claw against the wall as he leaned on it for support. Practically swooning as he came down from the near high of almost feeding on a human all his senses told him was the perfect prey and fuel for his growth. Ryker brought his free claw to his snout and tried to wipe any remaining blood on his lips. To remove the evidence of what he’d nearly gave into and still found himself wanting to. His claws reached inside his mouth, pressed hard against his tongue but he couldn’t bring himself to scrape it clean of the flavor left behind by person he’d almost eaten. He couldn’t even force himself to spit anything out. He wanted to hate the Kaiju in him for wanting it so much but he couldn’t. Not when he’d accepted that monster was really him.

Ryker’s shoulder pressed into the wall as he brought his other claw close and clutched his head as if he could make himself stop. As if he could make himself stop feeling so desperate to eat what he’d just tasted.

Gathering himself with a stuttering breath in Ryker focused and pulled his claw out of his mouth. Unable to keep from licking his lips of his own trailing saliva as he squeezed his eyes shut. Ashamed even as he savored the lingering, distinctly human taste on his lips and what little remained in his mouth of the prey he still craved. Ryker tried again as a few more warm tears trailed down his scales, reaching a claw into the back of his throat as he tried to force himself to gag and failed again. His mouth closing around his claw as he tried to forget the thrilling memory of having something alive between his teeth. Even as he tried to recreate it by biting down on his scaled fingers.

Just seconds after sparing the man’s life Ryker still wanted to turn right back around and eat him but he held firm. Distracting himself with anything he could as he began licking his claws clean of any small remnants of humanity before he finished with that and curled his tail before himself. Gripping it tight with both claws as he dragged his tongue along his scales for any flecks of human blood or sweat still on his body.

Anything to keep himself from turning around. From going further down the alley towards the scent of blood he still craved.

Ryker felt disgusted. Revolted by what he was doing, by what he’d done, and by what he’d almost done. But even more than that Ryker felt disgusted at what he’d thought. The sickening reasoning he used to justify eating people and the future for himself he’d wanted so bad he’d driven himself into a fervor just fantasizing about it. All the negative emotions previously reserved for the Kaiju side of himself directed themselves at his human mind for the first time. Self loathing, disgust, shame, guilt. Ryker felt it all. But only up to a point.

It felt less intense than what a human should have felt had they just done what he did and Ryker could finally admit to himself why. Who was he kidding? How could he blame himself for wanting to eat people so badly? Why had it taken him this long to accept that he… he…

He just wasn’t human anymore.

That fact had been obvious from the start but he’d still clung to the idea until now. Holding onto the desperate hope that somehow he’d remain unchanged despite being a Kaiju. That there was an unshakably human core inside him, that his mind and willpower could overcome every urge and instinct that defined his new reality.

This is what I am now. The memories and the instincts… there is no separating them is there? Not when its all me.

Ryker’s claws released his tail as he rubbed the palms of his claws against his face. Allowing himself a moment of quiet to try meditating again and look at the direction of his thoughts.

He didn’t rage against himself for what he still wanted. Didn’t hate himself for how much he enjoyed the panic in the man he’d almost eaten. Even as he thought back on the fear he’d tasted and desperately wanted to taste again. Ryker simply held still in the aftermath of his revelation.

Then he got angry.

Ryker’s claws scratched thin lines across his face as thick fingers balled up into fists. His exited heartbeat finally slowing with a cold fury as Ryker stared hard at the ground with gritted teeth. He wanted to feel like he’d won a fight against the urges within him but Ryker couldn’t lie to himself. That had been too close, he had to nearly let himself give into indulging in his hunger before he managed to figure out the trick that let him push it away, or more accurately the truth about himself that let him push it away.

It shouldn’t have come to this. Ryker thought fiercely as he wiped the last of his tears from his eyes with the back of a claw. Damnit. Damnit all. I almost ate a person… I… I still want to eat him. Fuck me, do I really wish I’d eaten him.

Ryker leaned against the wall as his breathing relaxed. Closing his eyes as the side of his scaled head rested against the brick wall next to him. Feeling the cool brickwork on his body helped to settle Ryker’s thoughts. He could hear it still going on down the alley. Ryker’s entire ordeal had only taken moments apparently, as hard as that was for him to believe. The muffled sounds of grunts from the mugging was close but he didn’t dare try to intervene. He wanted to eat them too.

He still needs help… Ryker thought on the stranger down the alley. Do I just leave him here? Is he safer away from me? I can smell his blood from here and… I still want to taste it… God, I’m too much like them. I thought I be different.. Not be anything like the other Kaiju but here I am. Wanting what they want.

Ryker wavered in his mind. His own identity became fragile as it shifted. Trying to reconcile what he’d finally accepted about himself with the human he’d always believed he was but simply wasn’t.

I’m not human... Ryker thought simply. I’m not human. So… so…

So what?

The thought came without warning and it silenced the growing doubt and fear in Ryker’s mind as it rang out. It held more than a little of the anger Ryker had been feeling towards himself and it only seemed to grow as the thought came again. Indignant and defiant.

So what? Ryker thought again. Allowing the seed to plant itself in his mind and grow. So what if I’m not human? So what if I want to eat people? So what if they all look like talking walking meat pies? Why would that change anything? Why would I ever believe that could change anything? Because… I’m still me. I’m still… Ryker.

Raymond. Ryker. The Kaiju thought with growing clarity and strength. His own name anchoring him and rooting him in place. Ryker actually smiled at the thought. Feeling warm as he shook his head, almost baffled he’d been so worked up earlier.

I hate being weak yeah. I’ll admit it. I want to be strong. So strong I can take fuckers like Storm Breaker and Magma Gore back to back and keep on swinging until I pile up so many bodies you can see them from space. Why worry about the human side of me and the Kaiju side of me at all if we both want the same thing in the end. Growing stronger. So what if I get hungry for people? I’ve been hungry before. Hell, I’ve gone days on Granola flavored nutrient paste before. I know what hunger’s like. I can take it.

Ryker breathed in a calming steady breath. Feeling a kind of peace return to himself that hadn’t been present before. It felt nice. Even as he grew more used to the claws and fangs of his new body a part of Ryker resented that he’d gotten more used to it at all. Like it was leaving behind the human he’d once been but honestly, wasn’t that just the truth of it?

I’m not human anymore. Ryker thought comfortingly looking down at his claws and letting go of the lingering resentment he held as he flexed them. But even though I may not be human anymore, I’m still a person. Still here. Raymond’s still here. Ryker thought warmly. What he’d done almost eating that bad guy before still left Ryker feeling guilty of course. Even if he had come to an understanding about himself that had reconciled how much he still wanted to eat the human. Ryker didn’t want to think about what may have happened if he hadn’t remembered Riley’s advice.

The stench of urine staining through the nearly eaten thug’s jeans gave Ryker’s senses a good shock that brought him back from his musings as he shook himself. Looking down the alley towards the mugging that had been continuing in the long moment Ryker had battled his instincts and finally accepted them as his own.

Hell yeah, I’m still here. Ryker thought as he focused on the shadows and sounds coming from down the alley until he wound his senses together again to paint a better picture of what he was seeing. A different kind of anger welled up in Ryker as the spikes on his arms began to rise in agitation at the beating he could still hear going on. His lips peeled back to bare his massive fangs in a silent snarl he only managed to keep from voicing because it would reveal his presence. It was almost beyond belief that crime could exist in this nearly idyllic past. But human nature was apparently something that refused to change, even in times of plenty. That was true for criminals like these, but it was also true for Ryker. Few things made him angry besides Kaiju.

It just so happened that humans who preyed on other humans was one of them.

I’m still me... and I know exactly what I would do if I found some useless fucks beating on some defenseless hobo. I won’t kill them outright, even though I know I want to. Oh man, I know I definitely want to. Ryker thought darkly as he worked his jaws and balled his claws into fists, staring down the alley at the thugs he could sense through his Synesthesia but who definitely couldn’t see him deep in the dark as he was.

I’ll hold back… but people like that need to hurt before they get the message. So I’ll do the bastards a favor. Save them all that money they would’ve spent on therapy and just go help them myself. Ryker thought with a predator’s savage grin. Hunger and hate flaring as he caught the scent of human blood. Fuck ‘em up so bad they’ll become better people.

=============================================================

Even as he was being beaten Alex felt numb, distant from his body even as the strangers efficiently delivered blow after blow into his ribs. A wheeze was all he managed to squeeze out of his lungs as he fell back onto the ground as the thugs stood around him. Spread out so that he had no where to go with the wall behind him.

“Not gonna fight back at all?” Said the man who’d been hanging back while the other three men took turns beating Alex. Walking over, he casually adjusted the pistol tucked into his jeans in a way that spoke of long familiarity. He almost sounded disappointed as he waved his thugs back and shook his head in disbelief at Alex.

“Not even a little bit? We’re getting payed real good money for this you know. After all the time it took to find you?” The man said smiling good naturedly. As if Alex were a friend and not his target. “You’re gonna ruin my expectations for future jobs if you make it this easy.”

Alex coughed multiple times around the burn of bile in his throat from long nights drinking as he rose to his hands and knees. His glasses were long gone at this point, had been for days but the ground was near enough to his face he could see the blood flowing down his broken nose and pooling on the rough concrete.

Bright red. Alex noted clinically. His mind locking onto a detail that made sense to him. The bright color is because its oxygenated blood. If it were darker, more brown than red, it would be coming from veins returning to the lungs for air. I… I…

Alex’s train of thought faltered as he looked down at himself. The white button down shirt under his jacket dotted with splotches of wet crimson. There’s so much red… Alex thought more confused than afraid.

Shock. The answer came suddenly. It made sense, would explain why Alex wasn’t fighting back. His limbs were practically quivering with adrenaline he knew was supposed to help but he didn’t know how to use. He didn’t even know how to throw a punch. Alex looked up at the trio, mouth hanging open for air that didn’t seem to come.

“Don’t wanna get up?” The smiling man said.

The kick to his side seemed to come out of nowhere. Alex felt something in his side give under the blow as it sent his thin body rolling across the ground and into the alley wall. Alex’s mind recognized he was in danger of course, he wasn’t stupid. He had the degree to prove it. Which was why he dismissed the idea of shock as he lay on the ground. Staring up at the stars through quickly swelling eyes. The lack of fear for his own life, the strange acceptance he felt for the beating he was receiving. It was clear what Alex felt. No, had been feeling every hour for days on end since that fateful morning.

Guilt.

“You’re serious?” Alex had asked then, still smiling. Sure that he must have misheard what his boss had just told him. The campaign’s main office had been bustling with more activity than usual that day. Interns and volunteers rushing around as they did one thing or another. Out of the few campaigns Alex had the privilege of assisting since graduating with a Masters in Political Science, this one had the potential to be the biggest and most successful by far. The one that he’d hoped would put his name on the political map as he positioned his first Gubernatorial candidate for victory in the state of Tennessee.

He was still a far cry from being the kind of person who’d be invited to Washington D.C. on any major party’s dime, but he was already hearing some encouraging whispers through the political grapevine. That some people on high were already starting to ask about the young man behind Caleb Patterson’s booming campaign. The one with fresh ideas that made boring political issues and elections a talking point for the younger generations. But more importantly, the one who’d managed to make his older incumbent candidate even more popular than his much younger opposition.

To his utter shock and joy he’d even been chosen as Patterson’s Campaign Manager right out the gate. Even when more experienced people than him had applied for the job. Likely due to his success several months ago getting an unknown native of Knoxville elected as mayor of her home city. A complete upset in the local political landscape as Alex’s candidate, a retired teacher and mother of three handily won the election over her more politically experienced rivals. A win that several keen eyes recognized was a result of Alex’s unorthodox but viral approach to social media campaigning.

Despite his dislike of Patterson as a person Alex had done wonders for his public image as he hit the media high and low with a veritable blitzkrieg of interviews. Pushing the older man out from his comfort zone of corporate studios and short, highly edited sound bites into more personal sit downs with local but popular podcasts. It had taken a great deal of effort on Alex’s part to convince Patterson it was all worth it but he’d done it. Even somehow managing the impossible, getting the sixty year old candidate to host a livestream. Answering questions from real people while playing through one of the old console video games he’d played as a youth. Back when the things had been commonplace instead of collector’s items.

The stream had nearly taken a turn for the worst though when enough commenters banded together and goaded him into joining the game’s multiplayer. To Alex’s immense relief and satisfaction the old man managed to do surprisingly well against other players. A clip had even gone impossibly viral when Patterson started swearing and ranting like a sailor as he downed “campers” one after another and boasted about his “KDR”. Whatever those things were.

That stream had every possibility of backfiring but it had worked better than Alex could have hoped. Connecting Patterson with well known influencers wanting to collaborate with him for videos, making him seem fun to young voters, and turning him into an online celebrity as his rant was immediately turned into a meme template. The ongoing success of the campaign was everything Alex could have ever dreamed it to be.

Until it wasn’t.

“Come on Alex you know how it is for guys like us!” Patterson said jovially as he took a long drink from the whiskey he poured out for himself and Alex. Having invited him into the his office for a private celebration when the polling numbers all but guaranteed Patterson would win the election over his opponent. The bright smile on Patterson’s face nearly identical to the one Alex had arranged to be shown on billboards and commercials across the state.

“It was just a bit of fun is all! No harm no foul right? Besides, the media fucking nuts itself over every little thing women say these days if it means they can bring good men down. You notice that Alex? It only matters when it suits their narrative, when they can use it against us. They don’t give two shits when a random woman starts crying about some bum off the street who slaps their ass. Nooo.” Patterson said rolling his eyes. Already filling another glass from the bottle he’d kept in his desk.

“It’s only when its someone important that it matters. When they can get as many clicks and views as they can. Why focus on the plights and problems of little people right?” Patterson said after a long sip as he swirled his glass, his expression darkening for a moment before relaxing into a smile as he saluted Alex. “Thanks for taking care of that by the way. I’m glad I finally have someone around here who understands how women like that need to be handled.”

Alex’s thoughts came to a harsh stop as his mind raced for an endless second trying to catch up. Replaying the conversation in his head back a few seconds to make sense of what his boss was saying. Handled? Handled what? What was he talking about? The only thing Alex directly handled were the fundraisers, and social media presence. He didn’t interact with anyone who-

“The waitress?” Alex asked with a note of clear confusion. Something sick tightening in his chest all of a sudden as he put two and two together. “What do you mean?” He said his smile returning in force to make up for his earlier lapse. No, that couldn’t be right. He’d looked into that himself. Checked and double checked. “Those accusations were baseless from the very start. She had no ground whatsoever to stand on.” Alex said sure of himself.

“Damn straight.” Patterson agreed. Too drunk to notice or care that the smile was on the verge of slipping from Alex’s face. “All it took was some of money changing hands and a few promises to get the restaurant owner to come accept what really happened, if you know what I mean. Not too much money though thankfully. Restaurant owners like that are desperate in this economy, they’re barely staying afloat as it is. It’s one of the things I’ll fix when I’m elected I think. Good steak joints are rare enough as it is these days.” Patterson said with a laugh.

“I gotta say you did damn good work yourself batting the girl away like that. That was ruthless Alex!” Patterson said with a deep belly laugh. “Bringing up the history of abuse and mental illness from her family history. You shut her up so fast she couldn’t have fallen off the map any faster!”

Alex’s lips parted as he forgot the barely touched glass of alcohol in his hand. That’s what Patterson believed he’d done? It wasn’t like that at all. He’d only done what he’d learned to protect his candidate, what he was supposed to do. Discredit accusers by presenting the facts. He hadn’t done any of that maliciously. It was just what had to be done for the good of the campaign. There were dozens upon dozens of rumors and fake stories that Alex worked tirelessly to refute in order to keep the ship he’d built afloat. To him the waitress had just been one more attention seeker trying to get paid off to stay quiet and away from the media. All he’d done was look into her family history and spread the information around. That was it. Suggesting that growing up with an abusive father had pushed her to say what she’d said against his candidate. That her years of chronic anxiety and inability to afford her anti-depression medication had pushed her to hurl accusations against an innocent older man like Patterson. A father himself, who could serve as a target for her own unhealed trauma.

The drunk man had continued to recount the story at length after Alex had stopped talking. Crushing any hope in Alex that everything he was hearing wasn’t true with every word he spoke. Patterson wasn’t the humble type. He boasted about what he’d done. Trusting in the soundproofed walls to keep all of the details of that night secret and safe.

Alex had no idea how he’d left Patterson’s office without the man stopping him. Or without anyone else grabbing him to get his attention and realize what was going through his head. The world itself seemed to blur as Alex walked to his own office and closed the door, like he was stuck in a dream that couldn’t be real. He collapsed into his chair and stayed there until the weight of what he’d done made him sink into it. Still dazed Alex looked at the banner above his desk. One of the first he had helped design. The smiling face of the monster who employed him staring down at him as if in triumph.

As if it was telling Alex. I got away with it, thanks to you.

Slowly, Alex removed his glasses and put his head in his hands. Eyes staring blankly at the carpet through his fingers. He didn’t sob. Didn’t cry. But his fingers trembled at knowing what he’d inadvertently done, silencing a victim and enabling her abuser.

I thought he was looking for the bathroom and got lost in the back where I was. Alex remembered the woman saying in the one interview she’d given before she’d been labeled a liar and a fraud by mobs of online accounts. I told him he was in the wrong place but he… he came closer. I thought he didn’t hear me but then… then he pushed me. Back against the wall… I hit my head but h-he…

Alex pressed his palms into his eyes as he heard her over and over in his mind. I didn’t know. How could I? It’s not my fault. I was only doing my job. But I still…

He knew he could come across as callous at times with his actions and words. He’d been told as much in University. But that was how you succeeded in politics. People didn’t have time for soft words and hesitation. You had to be decisive, firm, and if the situation called for it… downright mean. Was that cruel? Was he cruel for believing it was necessary?

Is this the kind of person I am? Alex asked himself honestly as he looked down at his hands. Feeling doubt about his life choices for the first time in years. Lost as Alex was in his thoughts he raised his head up and looked out at everything he’d built. The volunteers and paid campaign staff wearing Patterson for Governor shirts, the banners meticulously sized and printed out, everything that was a precious fruit of his labor. A success here would send his name ever higher in the political landscape. Until the day he’d be the kind of man that powerful people came to when they wanted to win. The one who worked behind the scenes and acted as the brains of every election. Finally respected and rewarded for his work and all his years of effort until he could take everything he learned and use every connection he’d made to step into the spotlight himself. When his name would be the one on banners and billboards.

All he had to do to keep that promise of future money and power… was to do nothing. To simply stay quiet and profit off of Patterson’s rising star. What was the alternative? Career suicide as he accused his boss of a crime he can’t prove he committed? Even if he could prove it he’d be ruined politically speaking, blacklisted into oblivion. There wouldn’t be a candidate on earth who would touch him if that happened.

Alex weighed the thought like every other important decision he’d ever made. Seriously considering his options as he reexamined his previous actions for faults or flaws. He reasoned with himself. Debated the pros and cons. But it all fell apart before a simple question Alex asked himself.

Was it worth it?

It was naïve and childishly foolish even knowing what he knew about the world now, but Alex had first entered politics because he’d wanted to do good. He recognized early in life that he didn’t have what it took to help people like a policeman or a fireman could. So he had wanted to do good through something that needed an analytical mind like his. When had he forgotten that? When it became detrimental to his plans to be a good person? Or had it been earlier… when being good became an inconvenience?

It was just one mistake. Alex assured himself. I-I’m still a good person. I am! I’ve done good work these past few years haven’t I? I’ve helped to fund dozens of charities and social projects. Raised awareness for children with birth defects and the homeless. I’ll do more good in the future, so much more when I run for office myself. I’ll make up for this. Make up for it a hundred times over until I can wash it away! Alex thought purposefully. He believed it, believed in himself to bring about a brighter future.

So why did it all sound like an excuse?

Alex stared into nothing as he tried and failed to believe his own reasoning. That the ends justified the means and how he could make it all right once he held power himself. The more he thought on it the less believable his words sounded.

A good person… A good person wouldn’t be sitting where I am now would they? Alex thought suddenly. Something stinging in his eyes that left him blinking rapidly. They wouldn’t be working to elect a man like Patterson. But… but I am. He even invited me in to drink with him. What have I done… that could make him so comfortable to talk to me like that?

Alex’s eyes roamed over his desk until he saw himself in the reflection of his dark computer monitor. Still staring, he reached for his glasses and put them back on to look at himself properly. Even in his state immense internal distress he looked composed and calm, even with the barely perceptible spots of wetness in his eyes. The result of years and years of practice at home for public speaking and holding the right facial expressions so he’d never give the cameras he hoped would be on him one day a bad picture to use against him.

Oh. Alex realized with a pang in his heart that didn’t show on his face. He saw a politician in me. A... predator like him. Someone who couldn’t possibly be a good man. Alex remained there, unmoving as he rode out the raw wave of disgust he felt for himself. For playing along well enough the man offered him a drink. For not immediately calling out Patterson for what he’d done and what he’d made him do to discredit an innocent woman. What he may have done to other victims like her.

That’s not what a good person does. Alex knew. So what… what should I do? What would a good person do in my place?

He stood up from the chair and walked to the door as he thought on the question and surprisingly, came up with an answer almost immediately as he opened the door. He looked out at the countless stacks of freshly printed shirts and promotional signs on tables. The very ones Alex had been so proud of just a few hours ago. Alex asked himself the question once more, but the answer was still the same.

Burn it. Them and every last thing in the building that had Patterson’s wretched face on it. Preferably while the fat man was still inside.

Fortunately for Alex though, cooler heads prevailed in the end as he promptly returned to his desk and turned on his computer. Methodically opening as many documents as he could find relating to the waitress and any other allegations that were even halfway believable. Putting them all together on an empty USB stick.

Nobody stopped him while he worked to compile evidence against the man who had given him his big break in politics. Even when people came by to get his attention Alex calmly responded to them and asked for some more time to finish what he was doing. Not giving away a single hint of what he was doing. A part of Alex was almost remorseful that he hadn’t done anything illegal running the campaign he could pin on Patterson. To the point he considered actually committing some campaign finance crimes or civil rights violations before he held himself back, knowing those could all be traced to him with enough time. He worked like that for an hour in a dead calm as he ordered every last bit of halfway incriminating evidence he could into easily navigable folders. Arranged alphabetically of course, along with his own detailed but anonymous testimony of what Patterson had done to quiet his victim in that restaurant.

Then he had an intern deliver the USB to the local news station during lunch the same day.

The fallout had come fast and hard a few days later. A politician’s worst nightmare, but not enough to cripple the momentum of the campaign Alex had run so efficiently before he was fired. There was nothing to link him to the news. But Alex knew Patterson had at least suspected him as the culprit. That realization had come when he found someone had slashed the tires on his car a day later. But Alex wasn’t deterred, or even afraid. He was a man possessed. It took hours by bus to travel from Nashville to the town Patterson had stopped in on the campaign trail but he made it. All the while burning inside to make right the wrong he’d unknowingly committed against a stranger and convince himself he was different than the monster he’d worked so hard for.

That stranger Alex soon discovered… had been found by her family in her apartment over a week ago. Lying dead in the shower and fully clothed, with the very kitchen knife she’d used to cut open her wrists lying at her side.

The news destroyed him. Knowing what his actions had driven an innocent woman to do. Crushed him so completely Alex just didn’t know how to recover from it all. The remorse, the guilt, the shame became so suffocating he could feel them choking him. The only thing that Alex could find that helped even a little bit… was to give up. To stop caring about anything. Money, his career, or even his own life. He stayed in the large town the waitress had lived in, unable to bring himself to go back home or anywhere else and went from bar to bar. Draining his bank account to order drinks he couldn’t stand until he puked and drank some more. Until he eventually passed out and got thrown out. Then moving on and finding another bar to lose himself in as he blamed himself for the part he’d played in a stranger’s death. Drinking as if he could drown himself and finally forget the name and face of a victim he’d helped paint as a liar.

Even when Alex’s phone pinged him with video of strangers breaking into his apartment in Nashville he kept drinking and wasting away. Knowing people were coming for him didn’t alarm him in the slightest even though he knew it should have. He almost began wishing they would hurry up as he tripped and fell on the street for the umpteenth time. Dirtying his formerly pristine clothes as they became covered in stains and grime. The hours and days blurred together until finally, those same strangers that broke into his home found him outside a bar he was being kept out of.

They were good. Alex had given them that. Their leader acting friendly to the bouncer and the patrons outside the bar as they grabbed Alex and hauled him away. Telling everyone they were going to get him some help. He didn’t even try to resist or call out while they did it. Letting them lead him until they found an alley that was dark and empty enough for what they had planned to do.

“Just…” Alex mumbled through his swelling lip as his head rolled towards the men who’d been sent to kill him. His vision swimming and blurred through the swelling around his eyes. “Do it… already.” Alex said. Surprised the words had come from his mouth. He could have almost convinced himself he was being brave for saying it if he didn’t feel so tired and ready for it to be over. For his guilt at the life he’d unknowingly driven to suicide to finally end.

“Do what?” The talkative man responded. Almost sounding eager he could have a back and forth with his victim. “Put a bullet in you and be done with it? Sure, we could.” The man said pulling his pistol from his hip. Looking it over like he was looking for dirt on the metal. “I’m more than a little partial to that myself.” He said smiling as if in apology.

“But we’re supposed to draw this out all nice and slow like, am I right boys? Supposed to get extra depending on how broken the police find you in the morning. It’s nothing personal man. We’re all just working for a living here aren’t we?” he said. Getting rough nods and harsh grins from his men as one drew a knife before his expression hardened. His eyes glinting with something dark and predatory as he looked down at Alex.

“You just so happen to be the work that sustains my living friend. And let me tell you…” The leader said chuckling as he pulled back a sleeve. A gaudy gold watch shining on his wrist even in the dark of the alley. “…I don’t live cheap. Not like the other fucks on the street, no… no. They can all rot down here for all I care but me? I’m going up in the world. I’m gonna be-”

Something moved in the dark.

The thug’s leader must have sensed it too somehow even with the formless shape moving behind him because he reacted instantly. Twisting around and drawing his pistol with a speed that seemed completely at odds with the man’s earlier demeanor.

Crack!

A sickening crack cut through the air as something whipped out of the darkness and hit flesh and bone with merciless force. Snapping the thug’s arm like a twig as it bent at an unnatural angle. The strike had come so fast and so powerfully that it spun the man around like a top. As he fell, he met Alex’s eyes. His face a mask of pure shock, taken by surprise too quickly to register his own pain as he hit the ground in a heap. Gagging on air as he tried to gasp and shout through the pain.

The world seemed to still as the three men who’d planned on killing Alex looked towards their downed leader uncomprehending. Even Alex was stunned as he stared at the man, his mind too overwhelmed to understand what had just happened.

Snap!

The thing that had just struck came again, lightning quick. Snapping out of shadows too thick to see as the thing wrapped itself completely around the legs of the large thug closest to Alex, one of the biggest of the group. It was impossible to make out in the wan moonlight but Alex thought he saw a hint of green in the living cable that had bound the thug’s legs in a vise like grip. Giving the impression of scales.

The thug’s feet went flying out from under him as he went fully vertical as the monstrous thing pulled on the man like he was a fish on a line. He hit the ground close to Alex. Terror burned in the thug’s eyes as they rolled around like an animal, the first emotions Alex had seen on the man as he was dragged across the ground. His arms were free, but they were useless as they clawed at the ground for purchase for the thug to save himself as he disappeared into the hungry dark with a desperate cry that cut off far too quickly with a sharp sound.

Real fear filled Alex then for the first time in days. Less the fear of death itself and more the cold horror of the unknown. Something he couldn’t see and didn’t understand was out there, but he knew with a terrible certainty was right there.

The other two thugs drew close to each other in an instant. Reaching for pistols of their own with a fraction of the speed their leader had drawn his own. For a twisted moment Alex hoped the thugs would be able to fight back against whatever monster had found them in this alley. Despite knowing full well the men had planned to kill him.

They weren’t enough.

The monster pounced out of the dark like death on silent wings. Quiet even as it crossed the alley in a single leap. So unbelievably large it’s shadow smothered the precious moonlight Alex could barely see by.

The thugs barely had enough time to look up at the monster before it was upon them. Yellow eyes blazing in the night as landed before its prey with enough force to shake the ground. A sweeping backhand from the beast hit the first thug to try and aim their gun at the monster with enough force that it must have broken bone. Sending the heavy man airborne like a rag doll until he collided with the side of a dumpster. Denting the side as he fell to the ground, groaning and struggling to breathe like Alex had been.

The other claw came down and grabbed the last thug’s entire torso. Lifting him up like he weighed nothing and slamming him into the alley wall with enough force Alex felt it through the ground where he lay. The thug in the monster’s grip wheezed for air, trying to break free of the claws holding him ten feet off the ground as he kicked and fought for his life. A life that seemed moments from ending as the beast bared its fangs at its captive prey and hissed. The sound such a low heart-stopping thrum that it seemed to hate.

Alex was breathing as hard as he was trembling. Too hurt to move and too scared to even try lest he draw the beast’s attention. Movement on the ground pulled Alex’s eyes away from the impossible monster as Alex watched the formerly composed leader groan in pain with tears streaming from his eyes desperately reach for the gun he dropped when the monster broke his arm.

The monster seemed to notice this. It’s eyes flicked downwards and regarded the scene as its head tilted to the side. The predatory interest in the beast’s movements making Alex’s skin crawl as it seemed to ponder who it should focus on.

Having dropped his gun the thug in the monster’s grip pulled a knife from somewhere and began stabbing the scaled claw holding him with the speed and ferocity of a caged animal. Each strike of his knife striking the scales with a strange tinging sound that made it clear his efforts were fruitless, even as he tried to break through the thinner scales between the giant claw’s fingers.

Without looking away from the man on the ground spikes rose on the beast’s arm holding the thug to the wall. Muscles twitching under its scales as it adjusted its grip on the human it was holding.

Thwik!

“Ah…!” The man tried to shout in a wheezing gasp as he shuddered in pain. The beast’s arm slowly dropped from the thug on the wall as he hung there and whimpered. Hands uselessly trying to free himself from the bone spike that speared him through the shoulder and impaled him on the wall like a human trophy.

The monster stalked forwards. Two steps more than enough to move from the wall to the leader of the men who’d tried to kill Alex. The shadow of the beast swallowed the man whole as he tried to reach the last few inches to the pistol on the ground. His fingers just barely snagging the gun before the monster acted.

In an act so carefully slow it had to be done out of cruelty the monster raised a clawed foot and hovered it over the man on the ground for a few seconds before it stepped down. Clawed toes dug sharply into the ground as they barely missed piercing the leader’s head as the shock of the impacting step on his back made him jerk and lose the pistol again as it fell nearly beyond his reach.

Alex stared horrified. Watching the panic of the man who’d so casually beaten and threatened to kill him squirm against the ground like a bug under a boot. Clawing desperately at thick scales with his remaining good arm, trying to free himself before reaching hard for the gun again as the beast slowly increased the pressure on him. Making the man wheeze as the air was forced from his lungs and he tried to suck in enough air to scream as his eyes bulged. All the while stretching his good arm out in desperation for his firearm like it was a lifeline.

The monster seemed perplexed at the man trying so hard to survive as he kept reaching for his gun. As thought it were unsure how to stop him from moving without killing him as it shifted its weight above him. Then as the thug’s fingers barely brushed the handle of the pistol again he sharply cried out in pain as one of the clawed toes pinning him down shifted. Lifting up and poising itself like the tail of a scorpion for a moment before it came down, piercing through his forearm and into the concrete below like it was meat on a skewer. Sending the gun skidding away as the beast’s claw scratched a line across the ground that pulled the man’s arm back towards his body as he wept with wheezing breaths before he finally passed out from the pain.

Jaws parted in a feral smile with too many teeth as the monster crouched down over its prey and brought its head low. Growling at its prey with hungry eyes as it opened its maw wide. Saliva dripping down onto the leader’s head like rain as the monster prepared to bite down.

Something in Alex moved that wasn’t him. The lingering fearful animal in every human being that never went away as man evolved across the centuries. Alex may have courted death with his nights of binge drinking but that was a vague thing. Dying was almost an ephemeral concept in the drunken haze he existed in these past few days. This thing before him though was anything but ephemeral. It was the Reaper made flesh. Death made real. The promise of a bloody end by ruthless claws and hungering fangs.

Before Alex was even aware he’d done it, he lunged the pitiful distance across the ground as his hands found his killer-to-be’s fallen pistol. His fingers were so clumsy on the unfamiliar metal he nearly dropped it right there as he swung the gun up towards the monster before him.

The beast froze. The light of the moon casting the entire thing in a black silhouette as its eyes, those horribly bright yellow eyes, moved from the bleeding man at its mercy to Alex. Staying locked on him even as Alex’s body trembled violently at the monster’s attention landing on him. Knowing any second he would feel its teeth sink into him as he struggled to keep his shaking fingers from dropping the gun.

Slowly, the monster rose from its crouch over its victim. Standing taller and taller and taller again as its shadow stretched over Alex. Making him feel like a mouse looking up at a dragon that was focused purely on him. It’s nostrils flared as if drinking in the scent of the blood Alex had shed and was still covered in as the gun he was holding wavered in the air in front of him. The entire scene something akin to a horror movie as the beast’s fangs parted slightly, tongue flicking out to taste the air as Alex futilely tried to crawl backwards and away from the monster that was looking at him like a dog peering down at a steak as it took a single, careful step forward.

Thud.

The weight of its step rippled through the earth as it removed its foot from the now unconscious thug. Making Alex’s hands quiver even harder as he tried to keep the gun steady on the monster as his fingers tried to find the trigger and kept failing.

He wanted to say he was sorry to the woman he’d unknowingly hurt and driven to death. To apologize for being the kind of person who’d seen her and so many others as statistics but the words wouldn’t come. Air barely seemed to reach his lungs as Alex began hyperventilating.

He could barely focus on the monster or anything else as the beast took another step forward. The distance between them almost halved in an instant as the monster prowled towards him. As though it were savoring the mind numbing panic Alex was drowning in as it’s eyes remained locked on him and he stared back at it.

Thud.

It was so close now. So close that it could have simply lunged at Alex and ended him right there. But it hadn’t. It didn’t even try to go for any of the other incapacitated thugs. It only had eyes for Alex as he stared at it over the barrel of the shaking gun in his hands. Hearing drops of saliva fall from the monster’s maw to the ground as it stared at him with hungry eyes. Alex tried to remember anything at all about guns and how the things were supposed to work but coming up empty as his mind refused to work. Quiet with terror as Alex struggled to breathe. He could only move the gun up to track it’s head as it took one final step.

Thud.

Distantly, Alex was aware of the same massive clawed foot that had nearly crushed his assailant to death landing next to his calf. The blood still glistening on one toe claw as Alex watched the monster slowly crouch down. Looming over Alex effortlessly as it reached out a massive claw for him.

Alex flinched hard and squeezed his eyes shut. Sure then that it was over. That after so many fruitless days he had finally found his end.

Something grabbed the gun in Alex’s hands. So steady that even his own shaking fingers couldn’t move it. With a sense of dread Alex opened his eyes, blinking through his swollen eyelids to stare uncomprehendingly at what he was seeing. His mind unable to make sense of the picture before him.

The massive claw that had so ruthlessly dispatched two of the other thugs, the one that easily palmed a thug’s entire torso was currently suspended above Alex’s outstretched arms. Two razor sharp claws delicately pinching the weapon in Alex’s hands by the barrel. The claw dragged the gun ponderously downwards, almost gently as Alex’s arms didn’t resist the force being exerted on them. Once the gun was pointed at the ground and away from the monster, Alex recognized what seemed to be a magazine on the ground. Right between his outstretched legs.

How did that get there? Alex thought dumbfounded as he stared at the ground. Realizing that his finger was squeezing the trigger as far as it would go and had been from the moment he’s picked it up. He must have ejected the mag when he grabbed it at some point. Did that mean there hadn’t been any bullets loaded in the gun at all?

“Oh…” Alex shivered as the gun was lightly tugged out of his grasp by the giant claw and tossed away. Alex turned his head to watch the gun sail out of his reach before he slowly looked up. Into the face of the monster itself as it crouched over him and seemed to take him in.

Alex could only breathe softly as he trembled from pain and fear as the beast lowered itself further, until its parted jaws were right next to him. Sending a gust of warmth over his face as it breathed out and inhaled deeply, undoubtedly savoring the scent of him as a low rumble in its throat reverberated through Alex’s eardrums. Paralyzed Alex could only watch as the monster’s mouth opened further and-

Something wet ran over his face.

The trail of wet blood that had been running from the cuts and broken nose was licked away, making Alex flinch all over as the monster seemed to flinch itself. Seeming almost surprised with itself for licking its prey as it shook its head roughly, as if to clear it. The beast seemed to come to a decision then looking down at Alex and the man felt more than saw the monster moving above him. He didn’t even try to move as he felt one of its claws press against his entire back. The heat of the thing making him aware of how cold he was as the other claw swept under his legs without cutting him. Then it… it lifted him up?

Alex grunted as he felt himself get lifted off the ground. Wincing in pain as the little movement sparked something sharp in his ribs. But the pain was short lived. There and gone again as the monster Alex was so sure would be his end gently set him down, with his back against the wall to prop him up even as he slumped against it. His body utterly spent from his beating and the adrenaline fueled terror that seemed to drain out of him in a rush as he looked up at the monster.

“Wh… Wha…” Alex said brow furrowed in confusion as he stared uncomprehendingly up at the beast’s yellow eyes. Not understanding what was happening at all. The eyes of the monster that had seemed so horrifying earlier as they dispatched his attackers, so burning with fury, seemed almost concerned as they regarded him. Glimmering with a disturbingly intelligent light as the monster’s gaze lingered on his wounds, its claws raising up a short distance towards Alex before clenching and being brought down again. As if it wanted to do something but realize it couldn’t.

For a long moment that might have only been a couple of seconds Alex took in the entirety of the monster before him with wide eyes. His analytical mind drinking in the details before him now that the earlier mind numbing fear had mostly left him.

It was a monster. Of that there could be no doubt as part of his mind continued to wail at the obvious threat it perceived. Even as it crouched down over him the beast was large enough to make Alex feel terribly small as he sat in its shadow. It was covered in green scales that caught the moonlight and Alex finally spotted the green elongated tail of the monster that had so easily dispatched his attackers as it seemed to twitch through the air in a kind of nervous agitation. Something Alex found utterly baffling as the monster hovered over him like a mother hen. The apex predator’s body shifting in contrast to its earlier actions as Alex watched. Muscles rippling under its scales like taught wire, with giant teeth that shone pearly white in the dark whenever the monster opened its mouth slightly.

The creature was mesmerizing in a way. Not only in the fact that something so impossible could be real but in the way that the massive size and weight of the creature before Alex seemed so natural. Claws, scaled arms, and every differing part of the whole that made it up worked in perfect harmony even as it stood still. The tail shifted minutely to counterbalance the body with every slight adjustment of its position. The spikes of bone that had raised like hackles along its forearms and somehow speared a man to a brick wall were flush with its arms, flexing with power even as its arms moved about with worry. The red scales of its chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, barely quickened after its short fight, reminding Alex that the monster before him wasn’t far removed from himself in that it needed to breathe like he did.

Even as the monster looked down at him and stepped around him the muscles in its calves twitched as the claws on its feet bit into the concrete, an action that almost seemed to give off a sense of profound frustration as the monster regarded Alex.

Why aren’t you hurting me? Alex thought the words he couldn’t bring his mouth to say as he watched the monster looming over him with swollen eyes. Keenly aware of the blood remaining on its claw. I’m a bad person. Like those men over there. I don’t deserve…

A groan broke Alex’s train of thought and the observation of his unexpected savior as a thug stirred on the ground. The one the beast had thrown into the dumpster hard enough to dent the metal. The monster huffed out a large puff of air as it turned its head to regard the man, obviously irritated as its long tail twisted to hover over the thug it had so effortlessly slapped aside. The tail’s tip was barely two feel above his head when the monster casually flicked its tail into the back of the man’s head. Knocking him out with barely any effort as the man groaned and his body stilled once more.

With steps far too quiet for a beast of its size the monster stalked over to the thug on the ground. Crossing the alley in just a few large strides to stand over its prey. It’s claws came down and Alex flinched as he feared he’d get a front row seat to the monster finally feeding. But instead of biting into flesh Alex heard the distinct tearing of cloth as the beast seemed to wrestle with something the had clattered to the ground. In a moment the monster seemed pleased at what it had done and returned to Alex. Bending low over him and placing something on the ground next to his hand it had carefully held between pinched claws.

A cell phone.

Alex stared stupidly at the phone for a moment, part of him almost wanting to tell the monster that this wasn’t his phone and he should check the leader’s pockets for his stolen one before he blinked and shook his head. As if his head could recover from the absurdity of the situation.

Impatiently, the monster pushed the phone across the ground with a claw until it pressed against Alex’s hand that was laying at his side and he reflexively flinched away from it before tentatively grabbing it. Bringing the phone into his lap as he stared at the small puncture in the screen from where a claw had carefully pinched it but was too clumsy to pick it up without damaging it.

The beast scratched something on the ground next to Alex. Three numbers that Alex couldn’t mistake for anything else.

“Nine one one…” Alex said mutely. Digesting the numbers and the ramifications of a monster that could somehow understand what phones were used for. God, how did it even know what phone numbers were? What the emergency number was?

Alex gripped the phone with both hands and swallowed. Working moisture into his dry lips as he looked up at the monster, suddenly worried about calling for help. He’d never called that number before, it was only supposed to be for emergencies. But it was also the one phone number Alex had resisted calling for days. Telling himself over and over he wasn’t worth the time or the effort to save from his own self destructive spiral. That he rightly deserved every ounce of suffering he inflicted on himself. Calling for help felt too much like forgiving himself for what he’d done, too much like he was sparing himself the punishment of his actions.

“Is that… Is that okay?” Alex asked hesitantly. Calling for help meant staying alive, allowing himself to live while the woman he’d hurt would never come back. Feeling more vulnerable now than when he’d been scarred for his life. Alex looked up towards the monster’s face through swollen eyes, as if requesting permission. Then to his surprise the monster nodded in affirmation.

Alex nodded back numbly and against his better judgement, began to dial the number. Feeling thankful for a moment that he didn’t need to unlock the thug’s phone to dial the emergency number. Then man and monster waited a beat as the phone rang until someone picked up the line in short order.

“Nine one one, what’s your emergency?” said a polite but curt male voice.

“I…” Alex paused. His mouth working soundlessly as he tried to find the words. Unsure of what he should say.

“I-I was… I was going out to drink. And these men… found me. Took me to an alley and…”

Alex shuddered as he felt his pain. Everything that had happened tonight seeming to hit him all at once as his eyes found the discarded pistol of the thug who’d been planning on taking his life.

“It hurts so much…” Alex managed to get out as hot tears fell down his face before he had to fight to keep the sobs from leaving his chest. Even as it hurt his ribs like nothing else he kept it in.

“It’s alright sir you’re going to be okay. Please, I need to know where you are so I can send you help.” The operator said. Genuine concern clear in his voice.

“I’m- I was going to Quincy’s Dive Bar. I’m near there. J-Just in the alley around the corner. Next to the empty pool supply shop.”

“Help is on the way sir, just hold on alright? Can you describe your injuries to me? Is there any excessive bleeding anywhere?”

“I-I um, I’ve been bleeding for a while.” Alex said as he looked down at himself. His shirt a ruin of red from his recently broken nose.

“Put pressure on anything that’s bleeding excessively. Once the Ambulance arrives you’ll be okay. Just hold out till then, can you do that for me?”

“Yeah... I can do that.” Alex said nodding. Despite knowing he was on a phone call.

The large bulk of the monster moving away from Alex was what caught his attention first. Despite the ferocity of the beast he’d witnessed earlier it didn’t even cross his mind to tell the man on the phone about it. Fear of an entirely different kind spiked through Alex as the monster was nearly out of sight.

“W-wait.” Alex said voice growing hoarse as the monster turned around to look at Alex. Unmistakable intelligence in its inhuman eyes. Even with how badly it had scared Alex just minutes prior it had saved him. Not one of his political contacts or anyone else in his life who he could vaguely call a friend. But a monster, one that had every opportunity to end Alex yet didn’t. Even when he’d pointed a gun at it. It didn’t even kill any of the men so bent on killing him as Alex looked into the dark where it had pulled one of the thugs away with its tail. Confirming a humanoid shape crumpled in a pile of trash.

In a way, this monster had treated Alex with more kindness than most humans Alex had met. It wasn’t scheming behind his back or trying to further an agenda. It didn’t wear a mask like the one he’d unknowingly worn for years to get himself accepted by monsters like Patterson. It had a purity to its actions that made it unlike him in almost every way. He should be the last person on Earth a creature like this would go out of its way to save but it saved him anyway.

“Don’t leave yet.” Alex said softly as he shivered. Dreading the thought of being alone in this place. As irrational a thought as it was knowing the police were coming it suddenly mattered to the wounded man to have someone, anyone close. More than anything else in the world.

“Please?”

The monster half turned, it’s head looking away towards the end of the alley it had been moving towards before it shifted to look back at Alex. Something like happiness seemed to wash over the scaled beast then, like it was grateful he’d called out to it and didn’t let it walk away. Tension Alex didn’t even realize was in the monster’s shoulder’s seemed to relax as the monster dipped its head and quietly drew closer to Alex. Its inhuman features softening as the man on the other end of the line answered Alex’s question in the monster’s place.

“I’ll stay, don’t worry.” The voice on the phone said earnestly as Alex looked up into the beast’s eyes. The once terrifying yellow of its glare now warm with a compassion Alex felt he still didn’t deserve. The monster crouched down, one claw pressed into the wall for support as it sat down. Legs folding neatly beneath it as it curled up next to Alex. Near enough Alex could feel its body heat radiating off it as it kept him company. Alex face twisted as another sob almost broke through as he clamped a hand to his mouth. Tears clouding his vision while he looked down at the ground, the operator responded again. The words on the phone so in sync with the monster’s actions that Alex could have believed it was truly speaking to him.

“If you need me, I’m right here okay?” The scaled monster seemed to say as its head turned to look down at Alex.

Alex tried to at least give his thanks but the words wouldn’t come. He tried again but let out a small sob instead. There was a moment where he kept back the flow but suddenly everything he’d tried to hold back came out at once as his weakened body shook hard with emotion as he found the energy to weep. The monster raised a claw over Alex, hesitant to the point of almost being fearful before it carefully lowered its claw to rest over the wounded man’s shoulders. The claw large enough to cover both shoulders and part of the man’s back as the beast gently comforted Alex with small awkward pats. The former campaign manager sagged against the beast’s side, making the monster flinch hard at the contact, like it was afraid to feel a human’s touch. Then it shifted in discomfort as Alex sobbed into its warm scales, somehow making the monster even more distressed at the emotion it was witnessing than the threat of being shot earlier. But despite the feelings coursing through the monster it held itself still regardless. Unwilling to disturb the man at its side or do anything to move away as it gingerly embraced Alex with a claw. Hesitantly at first, then with more confidence as it pulled the man a little closer to comfort him with a one armed hug.

There were occasional questions from the Nine one one operator to make sure Alex was alright but those interruptions couldn’t break the moment. The two stayed like that for a precious few minutes that seemed to stretch out every second. Even after Alex’s tears had dried to nothing and he was simply resting his swollen cheek against scales that seemed to ripple under his skin. Not unpleasant in its own way, just one more thing Alex didn’t understand about the creature who saved him as he felt its own heartbeat. Steady and deep like a drum that could go on forever.

The monster’s massive claw moved over Alex’s back as it minutely adjusted to press against the parts of him that didn’t hurt as much. One clawed finger coming to rest over his entire shoulder, Alex unconsciously brought a hand up to hold the scaled finger he couldn’t even wrap his hand around completely as the claw carefully kept from cutting him. The monster didn’t seem to mind the small gesture in fact, had Alex looked up at it then he would have seen the creature’s lips curl in an almost human smile.

Neither man or monster wanted to break the small bit of connection they’d managed to share. The both of them comfortably resting under the light of the moon as the first sounds of sirens began to rise in the night.

The claw against Alex’s back gently pulled away as Alex let go of it and took in a steadying, but still slightly shaky breath. Looking up at the monster’s head as it moved above Alex, it stared hard into the dark. As if it could see the ambulance and police cars coming towards them through the thick walls that surrounded them. Then it dropped its gaze to Alex, its amber eyes regretful in a way as the Nine One One operator spoke again. The man’s voice seeming to speak for the monster incapable of speech one last time.

“You just wait a little longer okay. The police are almost there. Once they arrive I’ll have to leave you to them. They can help you better than I can.” The operator said what the monster’s gaze tried to convey. The man obviously still unaware that Alex cared much more for the ferocious monster before him than the human on the phone. “I have to make sure I’m ready in case I need to help more people alright?”

Alex raised a hand and pressed his palm against the beast’s side. His fingers feeling warm but strange scales that almost seemed to react to his touch. Alex gave the monster a small nod. Feeling a surprising measure of strength return to him.

“I understand.” Alex said to both the man on the phone and the monster as it pulled away. The monster moving to stand with a smooth motion that left it looming over Alex once again. Being in the scaled beast’s shadow, the human couldn’t bring himself to be afraid anymore as it looked down at him. The monster nodded assuredly, its eyes somewhat regretful as it looked over the wounds it couldn’t help heal as it began to step back and move away. Pure power and feral grace as it crossed the alley, walking by and over the still unconscious thugs as it only spared them a few hungry glances.

“Thank you…” Alex managed to say finally. The words alone seeming so lacking as he watched the monster’s retreating back. “Thank you.” Alex managed to say slightly louder but the beast had moved too deep into the shadows to be seen. There may have been a glint of yellow in the dark looking back at him, maybe even the glint of a fanged smile but that was quickly gone.

Then Alex was alone in the alley with the groaning forms of the men who’d been intent on killing him tonight. Even as he heard the police cars come screeching to a stop and flashing red and blue lights lit one end of the alley bright enough Alex had to look away.

Multiple officers rushed down the alley towards him, several of them stopping in place as they spotted Alex and gawked at the scene around him in its entirety. The unconscious man stuck to the wall by a spike of bone, the bleeding but still living men on the ground, one of them with his arms bleeding and broken. Then they found Alex, propped up against the wall.

One of the officers came up to Alex and asked him something as they crouched down and assessed his wounds. Alex heard them say something about an ambulance and missed the other question they’d asked until it was repeated to him again.

“What happened here?” Alex repeated the officer’s question. His brows furrowed as he thought on what had happened to him. What could he say? What was there to say?

As Alex opened his mouth he thought on all the ways he could spin this story. The ramifications for his future if he were to reveal what really happened and how future political opponents would use it against him. Call him insane or say he got too drunk and dreamed up everything. Strangely enough though, Alex didn’t feel like lying or finding a way to spin the story to his benefit. Even as he thought of ways to drum up public sympathy for himself once he eventually decided to run for office Alex discarded those ideas and spoke honestly. Part of him strangely eager to share the unmodified truth for once as he smiled for the first time in days.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

=============================================================

Ryker paused hiding among the dark shadows of a small squat building’s roof as he cast his senses back down into the alley. Sensing the large number of people moving around and hearing the beaten man Ryker saved try to tell his paramedics what had happened as he was loaded into the back of an ambulance on a stretcher.

He’d had to move quickly out of the alley and onto his perch. Crossing a dimly lit street at the end of the alley and climbing up a darkened building. But he managed it without drawing anyone’s eye and hid well before the sirens rounded the corner.

A wave of giddy warmth swept over Ryker even as he hid from the glow of the multicolored lights of police vehicles. The constant worry that had always plagued him since getting sent back in time and the worry of his inhuman hunger taking innocent lives subsiding at last as he reveled in knowing he’d helped someone despite all the odds being stacked against him. Even though his own murderous instincts continued to tempt him the entire time he’d been near those thugs and their victim he’d managed to push them back with continued use of Riley’s method.

Ryker knew he’d helped people before of course, dozens of them by now even this early in the timeline. But this was the first time he’d been allowed to just… sit with someone he’d saved who didn’t immediately run away from him and recognized he was just trying to help. It almost didn’t feel real to not be shot at for once or hear screaming from the very humans he’d worked so hard to save.

Granted. It wasn’t like the man could have run away from me. Ryker thought as he remembered the man’s beaten state, starting to move away from the scene of the crime and across the rooftop. The Kaiju moving from roof to roof towards the warehouses he could see just a few blocks down the street, without anything else getting in his way. The path to them blessedly clear of further obstacles and people.

Ryker hadn’t dwelt on it too much but it had affected him more than he’d liked to see the very people he was saving be terrified of him. In his past life people had cheered Ryker whenever they saw him in his Armor. Even when enemy Kaiju were nearby and needed killing Ryker could practically feel the swell of hope in civilians still fleeing to reach the shelters. Ryker tried his best not to be prideful overmuch but he couldn’t deny how much it lifted his spirits for people to feel safer when he arrived. That had been true when he was piloting a simple grunt in Armor fighting within the U.S. and even more so when he’d piloted an Archangel in defense of humanity across the world.

It had honestly shaken him back in the suburb to see so many people afraid of him. So even though he knew staying to help the man wasn’t wise. That immediately leaving after saving the man was the objectively correct choice for the timeline, Ryker just couldn’t feel bad about making it. It had just felt good to do that, damn the consequences.

Even if he does talk up a storm about what happened, its not like people will believe one guy and a couple of thugs. Ryker thought as he comforted himself, nodding absently as he gauged the fallout of his crime stopping. People aren’t going to put two and two together just like that. Or jump straight to believing that Kaiju are good monsters that want to help people, especially with the early attacks once more eggs appear and Kaiju hatch. The Children of Gaia will still form but its not like they’re going to rally around some random guy with an impossible story to tell. Even if it does result in an increased military presence here because of the sight of me, that will be a good thing overall. More military means there will be more defenses focused on this town and the people should be safe for the time being. I’ll be long one by the time that happens though.

Ryker just allowed himself to move for a moment. Letting his thoughts fade as he focused on the positive emotions flowing through him. He held an almost Zen like peace as he quietly thought to himself.

Man do I wish I’d eaten them all though. The thugs had some meat on them but all the blood covering that little guy looked so good. Ryker acquiesced with a grimace that quickly became a tightly controlled sigh. The Kaiju carefully acknowledging the murderous thought and his own predatory hunger as he let it go without judging himself for it. Despite every part of Ryker still wanting to rage against what his Kaiju body made him think and feel he kept his negative emotions in check so his thoughts didn’t start spiraling again. Ryker was used to solving his problems with violence not his mind, so it was still a challenge to keep his focus on the mission instead of the people shaped food he sensed on the street down below. But it was a challenge Ryker was ready to face as many times as he needed. Forever if need be.

I didn’t do it though! Didn’t even eat a single person! Ryker thought triumphantly. Savoring the victory over his instincts as he nodded to himself, weirdly proud of himself for not killing anyone and eating them. Something he would have considered inconceivable as a human but as a Kaiju was still far too tempting.

I could have done better in some regards but I do feel like I did alright for the most part. Ryker thought. Incapacitating the thug with the gun and the one nearest the civilian first had been the right move. but even holding back the force of the tail strike, it had hit surprisingly hard. He’d pulled his punches more after that, realizing the sheer difference in strength between him and the thugs but he doubted any of them would appreciate that. I may have gone overboard a bit in a few places though. The man turned Kaiju thought sheepishly as his claw twitched, remembering the uncomfortable pokes of a knife trying to break through his tough hide.

Stapling that one guy to the wall with a bone needle might have been uncalled for but… screw being delicate with people like that. Ryker bared his teeth, keeping himself from growling too loudly with all the people about on the street and in the buildings he was traversing. They’re lucky that jails are still around at all. That hospitals still have enough medicine to fix them up. If this had happened during the Supply Riots they’d all be rounded up and shot. I did the right thing being rough with those guys. Even that one guy. That was… called for right?

Ryker’s face fell, terribly chagrined as he remembered the thug he’d trapped under his foot. He’d been careful to not press down too hard obviously, he hadn’t wanted to kill the man after all but how else was he supposed to keep him from crawling towards his gun? He’d already hit him with his tail hard enough to snap an arm and going any further risked inflicting permanent damage. He’d just wanted to hold him down until he gave up but something in Ryker stirred at having something it recognized as prey be wounded and completely at his mercy. Coupled with the fierce emotion in Ryker raging at the man with how casually he’d been threatening his victim it had taken a real effort to keep his jaws from taking the man’s head off after stabbing his remaining good arm with a toe claw.

Ryker let out a long sigh. Deliberately keeping himself from getting worked up at the thought of humans preying on other humans as he thought on the close call he’d had with the victim. Thank God that guy didn’t know how to shoot at all. A gun shot in the middle of town would have drawn way too much attention on me. I ah… wish I could say I handled that well too but…

In Ryker’s defense the victim of the mugging had been practically reeking of fear scent, almost to the point it made Ryker forget he was pointing a gun at him. That combined with all that blood on his face. Every part of him screamed prey to Ryker through his mixed senses. Ryker had pushed against the more murderous intents as he’d stared down at the man at his feet but he just looked so tempting there all vulnerable like that. How could he refuse a harmless little taste? So Ryker allowed the hunger he was fighting a small win by getting a taste of the blood all over the guy’s face.

It was just a little lick right? That’s not so- Ryker stopped. Frowning as much as his reptilian snout would allow as he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. Oh wait, did I actually lick that poor guy? Ugh, that’s so weird! Why did I think that was okay? That’s not okay!

Ryker halted his advance on a rooftop as he pensively pressed a balled claw to his mouth as he stared at the ground. Searching his thoughts as he paced the rooftop for a moment before stopping. His eyes darting from one spot to another as if looking for an answer to the question dominating his mind. Why do I feel like that’s okay? Scratch that, why do I still feel like its okay?

For more than a few concerned minutes human reasoning battled against Kaiju instincts as each side of Ryker debated the pros and cons of licking humans. Slowing his advance on the warehouses as he debated with himself. On the one hand, it was definitely weird. He could recognize that at least. It just didn’t feel as weird as it should have been, or even weird enough to make him want to not do it again. Intellectually Ryker knew if he’d been human he’d probably be gagging at the thought of what he’d done, but he wasn’t. The pang of disgust he’d felt was more out of a sense of keeping up appearances since he figured it was what he should have felt as a human. That was a pretty good reason on its own to prevent himself from acting out again.

On the other hand though, blood tasted really good. Human blood especially. If he remained steadfast in never eating anyone like he wanted, a lick would be the closest he’d ever get to indulging in that delicious flavor again. Besides it was harmless right? He hadn’t hurt him at all. Plus, how on earth could you reasonably expect anyone to resist licking humans when their skin was so salty?

Ryker’s musings were cut short as he reached the end of the line of buildings he was traveling over and looked out at the prize he’d been aiming for tonight. The warehouses were few in number, just two main buildings really but they were large enough in scope to almost make Ryker feel small again.

Ryker scanned his targets as he crouched on the edge of the roof behind a rectangular sign. Nostrils flaring with a sharp exhale as he began to plan out the best way to get himself inside.

Why can’t everyone just leave the doors open and the power off for once? Ryker grumbled. Tail quietly lashing in frustration as he looked at the well lit warehouses and the figures he could see moving about unloading a semi truck. There were thankfully almost no exterior lights on the building itself but Ryker could tell just from the way light spilled out the loading bay door and the few windows he could see that the inside was well lit. Not exactly the kind of lighting that would help hide a giant reptile like him.

I suppose it was a bit much to hope for the inside to be completely dark but I can make do. These buildings are on the older side though… That might help me out. Ryker thought as he examined the peeling paint and faded signs on the warehouses. Spotting some truly ancient surveillance cameras in the process. The kind that were comically large and rectangular compared to modern equipment. They didn’t even seem to be able to swivel in different directions and that alone helped Ryker spot a way to move close to the buildings while staying out of sight. The lucky break making Ryker grin and pump a clawed fist. Breaking into buildings was so much easier when you didn’t have to worry about cameras.

Now that’s a good sign! I doubt whoever owns the place would go through the trouble of revamping their internal lights either if their cameras still look like that. The’re probably just as old, the kind that might have lost a lot of brightness over the years, if they haven’t gone out already. God I hope a bunch of them are burned out and shit. Even if there’s only a skeleton crew working the night shift I doubt I can take out any lights without making a whole lot of noise.

Ryker’s claws crunched softly into the hard roof underneath him and the brick of the building’s edge as he looked between the two warehouses. One had nothing going on outside and the other was currently unloading a truck. It would be a safe bet to think that the crew unloading would be distracted by their work and give Ryker the opportunity to move inside undetected. There was bound to be countless numbers of highly stacked goods for him to hide behind once he was inside. But if they were working they would also be more active and alert. Whose to say they wouldn’t be moving their unloaded goods to all parts of the warehouse?

That one then. Ryker thought as he looked at the silent warehouse. Without any trucks unloading the few people inside shouldn’t be doing much. It feels weird to think this but I really hope the warehouse workers are slacking off as much as possible. It would be nice if they could all just be napping in the break room while I stuff myself with whatever I can find.

Plan decided Ryker nodded to himself. After double and triple checking the street for cars or people after his near disaster with running into thugs he should have noticed Ryker dropped off the roof. His tail serving as a brake to slightly slow his fall as it slid off the roof to join the body it was attached to on the ground. Ryker hit the ground with a quiet thud as he crouched low, more out of habit than necessity as he held still for a beat. Then the Kaiju was off, darting across the road in big loping strides to the wide lawn of grass and trees surrounding the warehouses as Ryker avoided the cameras overlooking the main entrance.

The need to remain unseen eased Ryker into the predator he now was as he ghosted through the trees. His Synesthesia drinking in the surroundings as he rounded the building to the side he hadn’t been able to see. The scent of sweat and smoke vapor danced across his senses as he tasted the air. The flavor of prey on the wind making Ryker’s mouth water even as he recognized the humans outside having a smoke break.

Immediately Ryker shifted behind the trees and small bushes until he was lying flat on his belly. Cool earth pressing against his scales as his large head was concealed behind the leaves of a low bush. Ryker held still for long minutes as he stared at the men unknowingly under the gaze of a hungering beast. The tempting thoughts came again and again. But Ryker diligently let them come and go, more annoyed than angry at himself for thinking of all the gruesome ways he wanted to eat the people simply living their lives. Riley’s method was still working, that he wasn’t panicking about losing control was proof of that. But even she would have been disturbed by his train of thought.

I wonder how that would change the flavor. Ryker thought as he stared, fixated on the men milling about outside and vaping as the sweet scented vapor trailed over to Ryker from one of them. It might just be in the lungs but maybe its in the blood too. That vape is some kind of fruit flavor. The blood might be have a hint of that. Mango maybe? Mango blood. I’d love some mango blood.

Ryker breathed softly, each puff of air from his nostrils rustling the leaves of the bush hiding him as he held still. Idly sinking his claws into the dirt beneath him as his monstrous nature fantasized about tearing into living flesh. All the while his mostly human mind diligently let the murderous impulses run their course before sending them away.

It took longer than Ryker would have liked but the men eventually went back inside through a door Ryker definitely wasn’t going to fit through. Once the coast was clear Ryker expanded his awareness, examining the building for any way he could enter without drawing too much attention.

I’m so close. Ryker thought eagerly as he rose from the ground and stared at the warehouse. Eyes sparkling in the dark as he felt the waiting potential inside his own body. So close I can almost taste it.

As he prepared to break into the warehouse Ryker felt the thrum of need within his body again. The built in desire for Kaiju to grow stronger and stronger almost felt wild with glee at the thought of reaching his Capstone ability. Despite the struggles the instinct had put him through and the way it had ramped up in intensity to the point it almost made him consider eating humans… He agreed with it. Wanted it.

Understood it in a way that words couldn’t describe.

Kaiju were the enemy, that fact would never change. Just knowing he’d been denied the chance to live his life again in his original body and see his family again still burned in Ryker’s mind. Made him hate the scales and fangs of his new body even now for constantly reminding him of his loss. But Ryker had spent a lifetime scrabbling for every advantage and edge he could find, mounting weapon after weapon to his Armor until he earned the very nickname he’d carried with him to the end of his first life.

That human desire for strength and power felt right at home in his new skin. Comfortable in a way it had never been before in his human body as every part of himself resonated and amplified that baser need. Even as Ryker kept careful watch of his inner thoughts to keep the hunger in check and constantly kept it from pushing him to harm the innocent, something shifted in Ryker. He made no note of it, payed it no extra mind than anything else, but the change occurred regardless.

For the first time since hatching, since being reborn as the enemy he despised. Ryker found something inside his flesh that could not only be accepted, but be truly embraced. A single point of connection, a singular desire for power where the person and the primal joined to become one.