LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 3: Crisis of conscience
It is very hard to keep track of time when you are almost always asleep. But, after what I estimated to have been a couple of weeks, I have come to three rather shocking realizations about the me of this new life.
The first realization I had... it seems that I am not human. As for how I realized this, well, it seemed fairly strange at first, but I noticed after a while that I had not been fed even once. Sometimes a woman who was not my mother (yes, I can tell. I can't understand the language here yet, but I heard my mother's voice from inside the womb for several months, and hers is different,) well, this woman would take me and sit me in her lap and have a slightly older child play with me. In fact, she would outright force them to at least sit next to me even when they didn't want to.
I thought this was strange, but I had found it even stranger that the woman was making no attempt so far as I could tell to put anything in my mouth on any given occasion. Not a breast, not a bottle, not even some kind of syringe. Nothing was being put into my body and, as far as I knew, nothing was coming out either. They hadn't even bothered to put me in some kind of diaper. I was just wrapped in a blanket.
There was no attempt to clean me down there, and it seemed there was no need for it either. I do not suspect newborns have as much sensation down there due to otherwise being incontinent as well, but I do think I would at least notice if I was wet.
So, I was left with the conclusion that I must either not be human or I am being fed in a way that I did not recognize as feeding. A way that also left no waste byproducts. More likely though, it was actually both. As if to reinforce that conclusion, the woman had recently started to feed these other children and would only do it if they sat in her lap along with me or my sibling. They would be given some kind of solid food, and were not allowed to eat it anywhere other than right next to either me or my twin.
That told me something else though, and it was the second shocking realization. These other children did not want to do this and had to be forced with food. I could also tell from their body language that over the course of these weeks, they had been growing increasingly weary of the thought of sitting next to me.
I could only conclude that they must know something that I don't. They don't want to sit next to me because they ARE my food, and they probably don't like the idea of being fed to a newborn. Not that the one consuming them would really matter.
I am still not having anything placed in my mouth, and it's nothing I'm having to do actively. I also don't think any tubes are being stuck into my body in order to feed me that way. But, I am obviously being fed somehow and the origin of it is these older but still small children. Is it some kind of energy? Am I just absorbing it from them through the ether or something?
That seemed like the only reasonable conclusion, if you could actually call concluding that you are some kind of energy vampire who is feeding on some children reasonable. But, the more I think about it, the more I am left with that as the only available conclusion. I believe it was Sherlock Holmes who said that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. And, the evidence seemed to line up for this one.
Then came the final of the three shocking conclusions. I have identified that there seems to be two older children who are used most frequently as mine and probably my sibling's food sources, and the adults have recently taken to locking them in together with me and my sibling when it's night time. This brings us to just now when I heard them talking to each other, and what I heard shocked me on so many levels I just didn't know what to do with it.
"So whad do we do?" The squeaky small child's voice said. Their speech was pretty broken and halting, but they seemed to have slowed down and were being extremely deliberate about making their words at least a little intelligible.
"We odda do somefin," the other said. I was surprised after hearing the first kid speak, but now it was undeniable after hearing the second one. They were speaking English.
"Maybe... uwe. Wee gan hurt um," the kid said.
"What!? The kid screamed at the other's suggestion. "No! Err babies!"
I held my breath when I heard this. What was going on? No, I think I probably know what's happening. They realized the same thing I did, but... what do I do?!
"Yeah, budt..." the instigating one started and then halted.
"Dey might gill ush if we do dat!" the hesitant one said.
"eah, bud onwe if we urt em ureal bad!" the instigator said. His babyish speech seemed to degrade harshly as he became more agitated. That one seemed to sound a bit like he said (Yeah, but only if we hurt them real bad.) Then, he had more to say, calming down a little as he probably tried to think a little more. "Maybe just pinch dem owr zomethin and make em cry. Dey might say we cand ee with em anymower."
The hesitant child seemed to go quiet after hearing that argument. Then, I felt a shifting on the mattress the four of us were on.
"No! Don't!" the first kid said. Then, before the antagonistic kid could cross much more of the bed, I heard my sibling start crying. I was the one closer to the older kids, so it seemed like my sibling must have also been listening into the conversation and decided to call for help my twin was really putting everything into trying to cry at the top of their lungs. They cried and screeched like something was trying to gnaw their leg off.
Both of the other children froze when this started up.
"Whah? Uhh..." The two seemed torn for what to do now. What my sibling came up with seemed like a pretty decent plan. If we're already crying about something though, nothing the two of them can do would change the kind of reaction they would get from the adults.
I didn't really know what to do with the situation. I was focused on the fact they were speaking English and too curious about that, but my sibling had come up with an effective plan to get us out of potential danger, as minor as it may have been.
But would us crying really work out as well as those two had imagined? And what would happen even if it did? The adults were apparently using them as food to give to us in the first place. It's actually possible things might turn out much worse for them if they did successfully create the impression the instigator of the two wants to go for.
I really didn't know what to do with this situation. I fully support their desire to not get eaten by some infant energy vampire, even if I happen to be said vampire. I just didn't know how to get them out of their predicament in a way I was sure would be safe.
On the other hand though, there was a part of me that actually really wanted these two to stick around. It was badly slurred by their developing palates, and probably by having mouths smaller than they were used to, but they were definitely speaking English.
"ay iz sse cying?" (Why is she crying?)
"I on no! Uwe din do nnythin!" (I don't know, we didn't do anything!)
"Is sse ungry?" (Is she hungry?)
"I don no! Eir vood is us!" (I don't know, their food is us!)
The two exchanged panicked words that were even more broken and garbled than before due to their confusion, and hearing this made me see an opportunity. I'll try to communicate!
"ooh!" (no) I said in answer to their question, but as soon as the barely intelligible sound left my mouth I knew it would not be interpreted as I wanted it to be. Between the noise of my sibling crying and me having worse versions of the same issue they were, the word was impossible to tell apart from the normal sound a baby would make.
So, what now? I was at a loss for a while, but after a bit of time passed it became clear that nobody was doing anything. The other kids were just sitting there as my sibling cried. I realized maybe they'd realized someone should be coming in response to the crying by now if anyone ever was going to be doing so, and they realized nobody was coming.
This information was a bit of a hit to both of us. I imagine it didn't feel good to them to realize their idea was a complete bust, but it was quite disheartening on my end too not to have anyone come in to check on what all this crying was about.
Eventually, things calmed down and my sibling stopped crying, cutting off the water-works rather quickly for a baby that was supposedly that upset. Well, it was faked from the start, and it had proven it's point to everyone involved.
Well, with that drama over, I've got to try and figure out another way to communicate now. Something that can't be misinterpreted as just some random noise a normal baby would make, and would be understood despite my limited ability as a newborn to form even the simplest of words.
After some thought, I had my solution. After the other two had finished discussing their failed effort and were settling down toward sleep, I put my plan into action.
“eeei… eeee…hiii… eeee… eeee… aaahph… eeee” I recited these sounds, the closest approximation I could make to the English alphabet. It was still badly malformed, but with this relative quiet and them having nothing else to focus on but my voice, hopefully they should see the pattern.
"ahsh... aiii... ayyy... guayyy..." it was not natural for a normal baby to stay focused on making regular sounds in a pattern like this for this long, and when they realize that they should also start paying attention to exactly what those sounds are.
"ewuuu... emm... eeennnn... ohh... bbbeee..."
"Hey... I ink zhe's shaying the alp-ah-bet!"
That's it! Alright, keep it up. Just a little more for it to sink in for them.
"cuuu... arrr... ep... heee... uuu... beee..."
"Howy cwap! Your wight!" the other responded.
Success! First meaningful contact established. That's the hardest part done, now the next part will be how to manage some sort of meaningful communication despite all the serious speech impediments on both sides. Well, at least the issue is mutual and we both speak the same language. The rest should be perfectly manageable with a bit of mutual understanding.