Kammi Kettu

I took my headphones off when I heard the door to my room open behind me and placed them carefully on the desk in front of me. Five days after the incident at the festival and I was starting to feel like my old self again, or rather I was starting to feel like my new self again. I turned in my chair just in time to have Laithe lean down and place a soft lingering kiss on my lips.

“Hey little vixen, how are you feeling?” she asked gently.

Like only a few days ago I’d had my arm sliced off and become a scary alien(?) killing machine?

“A bit better I guess. Dragging myself out of that depressive state again is not something I want to do again though,” I sighed.

“Yeah, that shit sucks,” Laithe nodded, cupping my cheek with a hand and rubbing lightly against it with a thumb. She was always doing stuff like this. Little touches and caresses that warmed my heart and banished the spectres that lurked in my mind.

“It was terrifying,” I mumbled. More than terrifying really, but I wasn’t really keen to get into the super gritty details of the alien experience I had that day.

A wry sad smile flickered across her face, “Yeah I know. It was terrifying for me too… are you ready to talk about it?”

Not really. How could I ever be ready to talk about the kind of revelations that incident had brought to light?

“I guess, but I don’t really know what to say, you know? How do I put the weirdness I felt into words?” I said instead of outright denial.

“You don’t have to. I just want you to know that I’m here if you want to talk,” she said kissing my forehead. I heard the rustle of plastic bags from behind her, and the heavenly smell of warm food wafted within range.

“Yup, you’ve told me that every day since,” I smiled. She’d been gently but firmly nudging me back out of my depressive state ever since that day, and damn her if it wasn’t working.

“Because it’s true,” she smiled back.

“I know… now what’s that really yummy smell?” I asked, unable to ignore the smell of food I leaned around to see what was in the plastic bags she was carrying.

“Take out! Wanna have some?” she asked slyly.

“Uh, yes please!” I grinned, reaching for the food.

“Ah ah ah!” she tutted, “Let’s go up on the roof while it’s still light and eat it there.”

“But it’s cold!” I groaned.

“You need light and fresh air little missy, come on,” she urged, stepping past me to open the blinds and crack the window, letting in the weak winter sunlight and cold crisp air.

I wasn’t going to win this argument, or really any minor argument. My girlfriend was definitely stubborn and headstrong.

“Fine, let me put some warm clothes on.”

“Good girl!”

Laithe stepped out of the way to let me out of my computer chair, and I shuffled around finding some leggings and pants to go over them. My room was honestly a bit of a mess. After the incident at the Emerged festival we had come back to my apartment, where I promptly fell into a depressed fugue that was only now breaking. The horror of having my emotions torn out of me like they never existed was not something I was going to forget any time soon, but at least it hadn’t ended any worse for everyone involved.

I still had trouble with the knowledge that I had almost killed Seraph. No matter how awful she was, she didn’t deserve to die. Maybe get roughed up a bit and taught the error of her ways in a less than gentle manner… but dead? No.

Once I had gotten myself into warmer clothing, Laithe ushered me out of the room like I was a kid. We waved to Caser who was chilling on the couch and reading on their phone. They smirked at our happy couple behavior, but even I could see the touch of relief behind it. My life had been so busy I hadn’t really touched base with them recently, but I could tell they knew something had gone wrong.

They seemed mostly unbothered by our comings and goings these days. We’d been talking about moving into a better place with them as the signatory. They’d also made some joking comments about uhauling Laithe in with us. The idea secretly made me a little giddy, but I tried not to show it.

They took their headphones off as we neared and said, “Hey so I have a job. I’m working for this badass old lady as her secretary. She’s pretty funny actually. Has this thing about reading english. Keeps complaining about how it’s a bastardised language.”

“You? A secretary?” Laithe asked, tilting her head.

“Yeah. It’s a funny story actually, I totally just stumbled into it. Went to get some paperwork and she was in the reception of the place getting angry about the wording on some piece of paper. I just kind of suggested an alternative. Hired me on the spot… well more like pressed me into service, but hey a job is a job and it pays well,” they laughed wryly.

“Who is this person…?” I asked suspiciously.

“Oh just some hero chick at the OMR. I think she’s a big deal, it’s whatever. You two have a cute picnic date okay? Love you both! Oh and let’s sort out that new place idea some more later because like holy shit I’m sick of those people downstairs torrenting while I’m gaming,” they said, shaking their fist at the floor.

“Riiiight,” Laithe said slowly, turning to me and making a face, “Love you too ya spazz. Don’t kill the downstairs neighbours we need them for bills.”

“Oh… it’s we is it? That sounds suspiciously like a yes to being our roommate!” I grinned.

“Shush you, I have food and it’s getting cold, come on!” she said, blowing into one of my ears.

I squeaked and jumped back, pressing my ears flat on my head so she couldn’t do it again.

“Rude!” I growled.

She just winked and walked out the door. I love this chick.

When we got to the roof, it was mid afternoon and the sun was out, although the temperature didn’t seem to have gotten the memo on that one. It was just so damn cold. Like the deep blue sky had sucked all the heat out of the world.

Sitting me down on one of the rickety benches that littered the rooftop of the building, Laithe placed the food next to her and began to sort through it. I took that moment of weakness in her defences to pounce. I snuggled up against her side and sighed in happiness. My eyelids fluttered with the feeling of sheer relief and love that bloomed in my chest. An idle hand reached up to scratch between my ears for a moment, and I growled when the hand left to continue sorting through the food.

“You have no fucking idea how hard it was to get my hands on this shit. I swear It’s a controlled substance or something in the states,” Laithe laughed, plopping a bottle down in my lap.

I gasped when I read the label and jerked my gaze up questioningly, “No kidding! How’d you get hold of Watties Tomato Sauce?”

“Like I said, controlled substance. I had to do a blockade run, lose some of the orange shitstain’s border patrol cronies, that type of thing. Anything for you my little vixen,” she grinned, clearly taking the piss, “Okay no, there’s this group that has started importing nonperishables under the table from other countries using rifting and teleporting and stuff.”

“Really? Damn, us Emerged are an industrious lot! Okay what’s the food then?” I asked with renewed interest.

I didn’t need to ask though, now that the sauce had been dumped in my lap I could place that smell anywhere. It smelled different to what I was used to, but it had that almost palpable aura of salt and grease that every New Zealander knew. Well, the Aussies and the Brits had their own version of it too, and if we all stopped arguing about it for one second we’d agree that actually the difference wasn’t too major.

“I can tell you’ve figured it out,” Laithe grinned, “You’re a smart girl.”

“Gimme,” I laughed, reaching over her to get at the fish and chips she had somehow sourced for me.

“Here use this,” she said, kissing the top of my head between my ears as she handed me a paper plate.

“Yes mistress,” I giggled.

I only got a snort in response as she loaded her own plate with a fillet of fish and some chips. She watched me squirt a dollop of sauce onto the plate and dive a chip into it straight away. When the combo of chip and sauce went into my mouth I made a wholly inappropriate noise of happiness. The taste was different for sure, but it was close enough to what I remembered from back home that I almost wept for homesickness. It had been a long time before I allowed myself to fully think on my country and heritage.

When I finally opened my eyes I found Laithe staring at me with a soft watery eyed smile and she said, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I told her, the words tumbling over each other in their haste to make themselves known to her.

She continued to give me that open endearing smile as she stuffed some chips in her mouth, until I protested.

“No no! You need the sauce!” I exclaimed, reaching over and putting some on her plate.

Laithe giggled, “I was wondering if you’d do that when I had none of that stuff on my plate.”

“You… damn and they say I’m the cheeky one!” I said with a mock pout.

“Oh you totally are.”

We sat and ate our food in the chill on the top of the roof, a light breeze pulling the warmth from the tips of our fingers, but despite that, it was perfect. She was perfect.

When we’d mostly finished our fish and chips, Laithe wiped her fingers on a napkin and then pulled me into a side hug, offering a fresh one to me for my own hands.

“So, do you feel like talking yet?” she asked gently.

I shrugged and cuddled further into her side, “Sure I guess."

“What happened? For you I mean?”

“I just lost all emotion, or most of it. It was like I became this emotionless computer that was hell bent on achieving the goals I had when it happened. I needed to stop Seraph, and killing her with her own sword was the easiest way to go about it. There were no thoughts of right or wrong, no thoughts of what you would think if I actually pulled it off. Only a goal and a means to achieve it,” I explained slowly.

“That’s legit terrifying. How did it happen? What was it even?” she asked, her breathing gaining a ragged quality that made me hold her tighter.

“So I know I didn’t talk about it before… but when I went to Unbowed’s place, I touched the edge of a rifter portal,” I said slowly, “You’re going to think I’m totally crazy right now… but I had a vision, or a series of visions. It showed a bunch of people in different situations, but it was interrupted by this… creature. It spoke to me, grabbed me. It was made entirely of this weird shit that looked way too much like my arm. It called me a… facet was the word it used, like I’m a single face of a gemstone or something. It was awful and that’s a large reason why I’m not really okay.”

“Wow, okay. First… it’s the post Emergence world… anything is possible and I don’t think you’re crazy. If your arm matched the creature, then it’s also... Not just a weird vision then?” she concluded tentatively.

“Exactly… it means that all the shit I saw was real, and that creature was real. I’m terrified of what it is and what it means that I was called a facet,” I told her worriedly.

“Yeah that’s… a lot. Is there anything we can do now?” she asked, visibly forcing herself past the emotions and into the pragmatic.

“Not really… I just have to be careful about getting prematurely amputated,” I grimaced, absently tracing the little silver scar with a finger.

“Yeah no shit…” Laithe nodded emphatically.

We sat in silence for a long while after that, just holding each other and enjoying the view. She was a good source of warmth up here. Although… I knew a way we could get even warmer…

I wriggled my way around so that I could look into her eyes, and saw a questioning look staring out of them. Her questioning look turned into one of realisation as I moved in to plant my lips on hers. She wrapped her arms around me properly and kissed me back eagerly. Her lips were slightly chapped from the cold, as were mine, but it didn’t matter.

We were just getting really into it when we heard the door open, followed by a masculine intake of breath and a clang. We broke apart to see the blond guy I’d met a few times on the roof rubbing his head and glaring at the steel door that led back down into the apartments. It appeared he’d been clocked by the door as he came through.

I couldn’t help a giggle as he massaged the side of his head with one hand while the other clutched an open book in the other.

Wincing, he turned to us, “Damn that sucked… and uh, hi ladies.”

I heard a sharp intake of breath from Laithe and her eyes flew wide. I looked up at her in confusion and whispered, “What’s wrong?”

“I’ll tell you after,” she hissed.

“So I guess that’s why I never had a chance huh?” blond boy chuckled.

“Uh. Yeah I guess so,” I said, hiding a cringe.

I probably shouldn’t mention I was Bi… he might get ideas.

“Okay well um, sorry to bother you gals. Is it okay if I read up here or should I head back down?” he asked politely.

“Sure, sit and talk for a bit. What’s your name by the way?” Laithe asked with a smile, but I detected a hint of wariness underneath.

“Oh damn yeah. The fox and I never introduced ourselves. My name is Lenard, Lenard but please for the love of god call me Leo. I hate my full name so much. Damn great grandfather being some hero and getting me named after him. What a dick right?” he grinned, clearly trying to make a joke.

“My name is Laithe, and this is my girlfriend Kalia,” she replied, emphasising the word girlfriend slightly.

“Yeah, gathered that by the ‘ol smooching thing you two had going on,” he laughed, clearly not getting Laithe’s warning.

“Yeah… well um, nice to meet you Leo,” I said pleasantly.

He laughed, “Yeah, nice to meet you too Kalia. Well, I’m just going to go and sit down, read my-”

“Did you go to the Emerged Festival?” Laithe interrupted.

Leo sighed with a wince, “Yeah I was there… near the end. Damn shame how those two groups had to go at each other like that.”

“Go at each other? But it was the Nazis who shot first!” I frowned.

“I heard that the Emerged people were all being confrontational,” he asked cautiously, his eyes holding a bit of uncertainty in them.

“Confrontational? The Nazis turned up armed to the teeth with a fucking police escort of all things, of course the Emerged people are going to be pissed off about that,” Laithe growled.

“Whoa, yeah. That makes sense,” Leo said, making a calming motion with his hands.

“Yeah, sucks that there were heroes who stepped in to help those cunts,” Laithe said, borrowing from my vocabulary in her anger.

What was Laithe getting at here? As far as I could tell from the news coverage, a few of the more straight laced heroes like Bastion and Flicker had stepped in to stop the Emerged from killing the Nazis. Turns out that attacking a crowd of powered individuals wasn’t very good for your health. There had been fatalities on both sides of that awful tragedy, the first few salvos of bullets taking the lives of many innocent Emerged festival goers. After that though? It had been carnage by all accounts, although it had been far more non-lethal when the Emerged had retaliated.

“I mean, those heroes had to stop the fighting right?” he said, getting a little annoyed at Laithe.

“Yeah, by beating the victims up apparently, because that’s what heroes do,” Laithe said, sarcasm dripping from her words.

“Hey that’s not fair,” he huffed, but he broke eye contact.

I could feel Laithe practically vibrating with anger now, damn what was going on with her?

“No, B-... Leo… what isn’t fair is dying by violence during a celebration of who you are. A festival meant to celebrate who they were…” she said, choking up as she finished.

I squeezed her tightly and pulled her head down to my shoulder. Gosh, she had a big heart sometimes.

“Uh, I think we had better go,” I told Leo, pulling Laithe and myself to our feet.

“Oh yeah… um,” he said with a pained expression, “Look, Laithe… you’re right. I think… They shouldn’t have… shit I don’t know. The whole situation was fucked. Real fucked.”

“Yeah well, I’m sure the victims will feel better knowing that you’re remorseful,” she replied, trying for a scathing tone but ending up with something that sounded tired.

“Come on gorgeous, let’s get you back inside,” I shushed, then turned to Leo, “Nice to finally get your name dude… um, good luck on those less than ideal opinions. See you around.”

“Yeah… okay,” he nodded, looking honestly a little shell shocked, “Sorry girls I just… shit it doesn’t matter, see you around too I guess.”

As soon as I got Laithe through the front door of our apartment, she turned to me and whispered urgently, “That dude Leo, he’s Bastion!”