Kaleidoscope of Death

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu

Can’t help it anymore. When he heard Qin Budai say this, Lin Qiushi felt a chill deep in his bones. The person before him wore fresh blood on his lips, and stared at him with a pair of silent, red-veined eyes. The look that was so clearly stifling something lifted a light layer of goosebumps along Lin Qiushi’s arms. All of Lin Qiushi’s instincts were ringing the alarm—that the person in front of him was very, very dangerous.

Qin Budai gradually got closer and closer. His footsteps finally halted before Lin Qiushi, and he slowly called out Lin Qiushi’s name. His tone was both cloying and cold, sending very mixed signals.

At that moment, Lin Qiushi wanted to turn and run. But he also felt that the instant he left his back open, something completely out of his control would happen. So he thoroughly smothered that urge to escape and hide, and instead said, “Qin Budai, are you alright?”

Qin Budai smiled eerily at Lin Qiushi. “I’m fine.” It probably would’ve been better if he hadn’t smiled at all; it only made his expression seem more twisted.

Just as the two stood in stalemate, Chen Fei’s voice came warily from outside the kitchen. “What are you two doing?”

Chen Fei reached and flipped the light switch on the wall. The entire kitchen lit up, and he got a good look at the scene before him.

“Qin Budai— What are you doing?” His gaze fell on that slab of meat Qin Budai had been chewing on, and the moment after he asked this question, he seemed to comprehend exactly what Qin Budai had done. There was a brief hitch in his breath. “You just came out of a door?”

Qin Budai slowly nodded.

“Hungry?” Chen Fei sounded very calm, like he saw nothing wrong at all with the scene before him. “Let me cook you something to eat.”

Qin Budai didn’t speak, just turned and left.

Watching him go, Chen Fei didn’t stop him, just sighed lightly.

“What in the world happened?” Lin Qiushi wasn’t as experienced as Chen Fei, and couldn’t understand what was going on with Qin Budai. Honestly, Qin Budai’s current state reminded Lin Qiushi of the monsters inside the doors.

“He’s probably been affected by the door world.” Chen Fei went to the fridge, and pulled out a steak. He really was planning to cook it for Qin Budai. “The human psyche is a fragile thing. After a strong shock, it can be prone to disorder.” After saying this, he glanced over at Lin Qiushi. “Not everyone can accept things as calmly as you can.”

Lin Qiushi didn’t know what to say.

“The worst situation is when everybody else is dead, but the door and the key haven’t appeared.” Chen Fei lit the stove, heated the oil, and set the steak into the pan with a sizzle. “You’re trapped alone inside the door, not knowing how long you’ll be stuck there…”

His voice got lower and lower.

It was indeed nightmarish.

To be trapped inside alone. Just the thought of it sent chills throughout the body. Lin Qiushi leaned against the threshold. “Qin Budai… will be okay, right?”

Chen Fei shook his head. “I don’t know.”

Lin Qiushi, “what do you mean you don’t know?”

Chen Fei, “I mean that I don’t know if he’ll get better, if he can separate reality from the world of the doors.”

Lin Qiushi frowned. “If he can’t?”

Chen Fei’s motions paused, and a self-mocking smile appeared across his face. “If he can’t? If he can't… Then he’s done for.”

Killing people inside the door was fine, but in reality, there were laws and sanctions in place.

Plus, people like this became very dangerous. They may not murder, but they still may commit some other drastic crime. People who could not distinguish between the inside and outside could not continue staying at the mansion. Of course, this wasn’t something Chen Fei told Lin Qiushi, because he didn’t think it necessary.

The steak was done. Chen Fei plated and brought it to the dining table outside, handing it to Qin Budai.

Qin Budai cut the steak apart with a fork and knife, but his peripherals lingered on Lin Qiushi. He still felt hungry, and the steak before him was incapable of satiating that full-body, anxious gluttony he felt. But he didn’t dare make it apparent—could only keep his head down, pretending to be happily chowing down.

Chen Fei watched from the side. Lin Qiushi noticed his brow furrowed in a knot, and a certain scrutiny in his eyes, like he was in the middle of diagnosing Qin Budai’s condition.

Chen Fei asked, “what did you see inside the door?”

At the mention of the door, Qin Budai couldn’t help a whole-body shiver. He opened his mouth, but said nothing even after a moment, like words couldn’t possibly describe the world he’d seen.

Chen Fei, “hm?”

Qin Budai’s reply was vague. “It was a very scary world. There wasn’t much to eat. I was hungry the whole time.”

Chen Fei didn’t speak, sinking into thought.

Qin Budai finished the steak, and very politely bid them good night, returning upstairs to sleep.

Lin Qiushi stayed where he was, watching him go. He still felt there was something off with Qin Budai, but he couldn’t concretely say what it was.

Chen Fei said, “I’ll ask Ruan-ge tomorrow.”

Lin Qiushi, “ask him what?”

Chen Fei sighed, “which world Qin Budai went into, of course.” Qin Budai was a newbie, still entering the first round of doors right now. He didn’t have Lin Qiushi’s luck—the group only took him through a couple of doors, and left him on his own for the most recent one.

Lin Qiushi nodded his agreement.

That night, Lin Qiushi didn’t sleep very well. His mind, as he tossed and turned, was filled with the image of Qin Budai eating that raw meat. To tell the truth, after seeing that scene, even his sense of distinction between reality and the world of the doors felt blurred. It was an awful feeling, and left him filled with unease.

The next day, Lin Qiushi went downstairs sporting twin bags under his eyes.

Cheng Qianli had just come back from walking Toast, and Toast was twitching its fat little butt around, chasing and playing with Chestnut.

Cheng Qianli saw Lin Qiushi’s severe lack of sleep, and said, “what happened? You look like you haven’t woken up yet.”

Lin Qiushi yawned. “It’s nothing. I stayed up too late last night.”

Cheng Qianli, “oh. Come eat breakfast then. My brother just cooked.”

Cheng Yixie made porridge, along with a few small dishes. He was sitting and slowly eating at the table. Lin Qiushi went over to say good morning. Then he also grabbed a bowl to eat.

The people inside the mansion all began to gradually wake. Lin Qiushi saw Chen Fei. Then he also saw Qin Budai.

Qin Budai no longer had that scary aura from last night about him. He’d changed into a fresh outfit, and wore a smile. He approached Lin Qiushi and said, “good morning.”

Lin Qiushi, “good morning.”

“Sorry to scare you last night,” Qin Budai said. “I’d just come out a door, and hadn’t quite gotten myself together.” He smiled, eyes rainbowing in a friendly expression. “I really am sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Lin Qiushi said. “You've… gotten yourself together now?”

Qin Budai nodded, indicating he has.

Chen Fei sat next to them, watching the two interact. He was examining Qin Budai without giving anything away, clearly not completely believing Qin Budai’s excuse.

Not long after Ruan Nanzhu also came down. He maintained his typical aloofness, and made to head out after eating, before Chen Fei stopped him.

“Ruan-ge,” Chen Fei said. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

Ruan Nanzhu nodded, and the two went off into a corner.

Lin Qiushi knew Chen Fei was likely telling Ruan Nanzhu about what happened with Qin Budai. To tell the truth, the current Qin Budai didn’t seem off at all. It was difficult to link him to the person manically consuming raw meat the night before. But however his psyche was actually doing, if he’d gotten better, Lin Qiushi couldn’t be the judge. So he thought this matter was better left to Chen Fei.

Lin Qiushi finished eating, and returned to his room.

Spring had just ripened. Sunlight spilled in brilliance, a cool breeze caressed, and Lin Qiushi sat at his window, turning on his computer to browse that forum open only to people who’d been inside the doors.

There were lots of interesting posts on this forum. Lin Qiushi had already developed the habit of reading through them daily. Casually, he plucked a piece of candy from his table and popped it in his mouth. He moved the mouse and began browsing the posts.

The posts were a mess, and full of strange tales.

Some discussed the world inside the doors, others mentioned urban legends. Others still organized same-city meet-ups.

Lin Qiushi read through them with fascination.

Because they’d just come from a door, Ruan Nanzhu hadn’t organized any activities for Lin Qiushi, just letting him rest.

Lin Qiushi thought that wasting away a day like this actually felt quite comfortable. He ate lunch, took a nap, and let the day pass by just like that.

After Chen Fei spoke to Ruan Nanzhu that morning, the two left the mansion. Nobody knew where they’d gone off to.

But Lin Qiushi was already used to them appearing and disappearing at will, and wasn’t curious at all.

Cheng Qianli and Cheng Yixie though, were gone as well. Lin Qiushi guessed Cheng Yixie had brought Cheng Qianli into some lower level doors for training.

There was still Yi Manman, Lu Yanxue, and Qin Budai inside the mansion. The four of them ate a simple dinner, and Lin Qiushi retired to his room to rest.

After a shower, Lin Qiushi lied on his bed playing sudoku. This inconsequential game was always quick to calm his mood, and also had the benefit of making him sleepy.

As he gradually filled the boxes, however, he heard a knock at his door.

“Who is it?” Lin Qiushi went to door and pulled it open, to find Qin Budai standing there.

Qin Budai said, “hi. Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Lin Qiushi blinked. “Right now?”

Qin Budai nodded.

Lin Qiushi hesitated. “Sure… Let’s go talk in the study. Give me a second, I’ll come over after I change.” He was in his pajamas after all.

Qin Budai quietly watched Lin Qiushi. Currently, Lin Qiushi was dressed in white cotton pajamas, and his long elegant neck and his pretty collarbones were all on display. Lin Qiushi was handsome, with a gentle temperament. He looked instantly easy to get along with. He also looked… tasty.

Qin Budai suddenly licked his lips.

Lin Qiushi eyed him warily. “Qin Budai?” He felt there was something off about the person in front of him.

Qin Budai said, “I only need five minutes. I’ll be quick.” As he spoke, he squeezed his way through Lin Qiushi’s bedroom door.

Lin Qiushi noticed his motions, and took a step back, moving into a defensive position. “Do you need something?”

Qin Budai watched Lin Qiushi. In his eyes surfaced an indescribable hunger.

Goosebumps. Lin Qiushi, “Qin Budai?”

Qin Budai, “I…”

But before he’d finished speaking, he was already lunging at Lin Qiushi.

Though Lin Qiushi had been prepared, Qin Budai still ran into him straight on with great force, knocking Lin Qiushi flat onto the bed.

Lin Qiushi, “Qin—”

Just as the name left his lips, Qin Budai’s fingers gripped tight over his mouth. This wasn’t the strength of a human at all—Qin Budai could force down all of Lin Qiushi’s struggling with a single hand. Lin Qiushi’s eyes widened, watching Qin Budai’s covetous gaze fixate on his neck.

“Just one taste,” Qin Budai spoke lightly. “I’ll just have one taste…” He bent down, and began lapping along Lin Qiushi’s chin.

Lin Qiushi remembered the slab of meat that Qin Budai tore apart the night before, and began struggling anew with all his strength. But Qin Budai’s strength made his efforts seem like a mayfly throwing itself against the trunk of a tree.

Qin Budai, staring at Lin Qiushi’s throat, swallowed. He parted his lips, revealing the white rows of teeth, and went to bite…

“Mmph…” Lin Qiushi continued to fight.

Just as he felt the cold touch of Qin Budai’s teeth, there came knocking at the door. Fear peering through his expression, Qin Budai glanced at the door.

Dong, dong, dong. The knocks continued.

Lin Qiushi met Qin Budai’s gaze. He’d thought that now somebody was here, Qin Budai would release him—but instead, there was resolution in Qin Budai’s eyes.

“Sorry,” Qin Budai spoke lowly right next to Lin Qiushi’s ear. “You look too appetizing. I really… can’t help it anymore. Even if I’m discovered, I don’t want to let go…” His teeth remained on Lin Qiushi’s neck, and began to apply pressure.

Lin Qiushi’s eyes shot wide open as he felt the dull pain spread along his skin. He didn’t think Qin Budai would actually bite.

With a loud bang!, the locked door was kicked open.

Qin Budai, lying over Lin Qiushi’s body, was seized by a pair of hands, lifted up, and brutally thrown against the wall. Qin Budai shouted in pain, while Lin Qiushi fumbled to sit up in bed. He saw Ruan Nanzhu, with a chilly expression.

Ruan Nanzhu didn’t speak. He approached Qin Budai, taking a green bronze ornament off a side table as he went, then grabbed Qin Budai’s chin to pry his mouth open.

Terrified, Qin Budai was trembling all over.

Ruan Nanzhu’s tone dipped to cold frost. He said, “if you like eating so much, have at it.” Then he shoved the thing right into Qin Budai’s mouth, breaking off two of Qin Budai’s teeth along the way.

Qin Budai completely fainted from the pain. It was only then that Ruan Nanzhu released his hand, and returned to Lin Qiushi. There was a deep furrow in his brow, and he seemed to be in a terrible mood.

“Alright?”

Lin Qiushi, “I’m fine.”

He said, “I was careless.”

He hadn’t thought that Qin Budai would attack him under circumstances like this. Though Chen Fei had already warned Lin Qiushi, he’d still underestimated the effect the door had on Qin Budai.

Ruan Nanzhu stared at Lin Qiushi.

Lin Qiushi was made horribly self-conscious by his gaze. He noticed it was fixed on his neck, and so reached to touch. It was only then that he noticed the teeth mark Qin Budai left on his throat… Though no skin had been broken, it still hurt.

Did this need a tetanus shot or what… As Lin Qiushi was thinking this, Ruan Nanzhu suddenly bent down over him.

Startled by Ruan Nanzhu’s motions, Lin Qiushi was just about to ask what he was doing, when he caught Lin Qiushi firmly by the arms—the next moment, the spot where he’d been bitten was being roughly rubbed at. Lin Qiushi’s first reaction was that Ruan Nanzhu had somehow been infected by Qin Budai’s abnormal condition, and so shoved hard and shouted in pain: “Ruan Nanzhu—calm down!! It’s me, it’s Lin Qiushi!!”

Ruan Nanzhu bit. Only after staying there for a handful of seconds did he release the bite, looking down with satisfaction at the mark that was now covered over by his mark on Lin Qiushi’s neck. Likely because he’d heard Lin Qiushi’s shouts, he spoke evenly, “I know you’re Lin Qiushi.”

“Were you contaminated?” Lin Qiushi clasped his neck, hissing at the pain. “What did you bite me for?!”

Ruan Nanzhu spat out a single word: “Disinfection.”

Lin Qiushi, “…” What the hell was wrong with Ruan Nanzhu.

After saying this, Ruan Nanzhu dragged off the fainted Qin Budai and left. Lin Qiushi looked over the mess of his room and the broken door, and for a moment didn’t know what to do at all.

Qin Budai’s bite hadn’t torn skin, but Ruan Nanzhu’s had. Lin Qiushi inspected his wound, warily wondering he needed to go get a rabies shot or something. He’d never been bitten by a person before, and so searched online for what to do.

Turned out he should’ve left it alone. The search left Lin Qiushi scared out of his wits, thinking he was likely going to kick it that very night.

And so bright and early the next morning Lin Qiushi rushed to the hospital. After taking a look at his wound, the doctor said, with meaning, “you youngsters need to control yourselves.”

Lin Qiushi, “…” Control what, control their diets?

The doctor said, “you don’t need a vaccine, just a disinfection should be fine. As long as the person who bit you doesn’t have any infectious diseases there shouldn’t be any problems.”

Lin Qiushi, “but the search engine said…”

The doctor slapped the table. “Can you all stop going to the search engine when you’re sick? Don’t you just feel more terminal the more you use it?” The doctor looked maybe thirty-one, thirty-two—still quite young. He prescribed Lin Qiushi some bit of medicine, and waved him off in disgust.

Lin Qiushi returned to the mansion.

After Qin Budai was taken away last night, Lin Qiushi didn’t ask what would be done with him. Today, he was nowhere to be seen. Lin Qiushi didn’t see Ruan Nanzhu either, and so went to ask Chen Fei in private.

Chen Fei looked at the wound on Lin Qiushi’s neck, and sighed: “It was my fault, I shouldn’t have left him on his own. I thought he’d at least be able to bear it, but who knew his self-control would be so awful?”

Lin Qiushi, “so where is he now?” The way Ruan Nanzhu dragged him off last night looked like he was being taken straight to the crematorium.

“He’s been sent somewhere else,” Chen Fei said. “There’s a place dedicated to people like him. After being affected by the doors, the way he acts in reality will be off, so he needs counseling.”

Whether or not the counseling would work was another story. But this sort of person was dangerous wherever they put him. Had Ruan Nanzhu not shown up last night, Qin Budai might have straight up bitten Lin Qiushi to death.

Lin Qiushi, “oh…” He thought for a bit, before asking quietly, “and Nanzhu? How come I haven’t seen him around?”

Chen Fei, “I think he went out for an errand.”

Then he asked, “is your wound alright though? He broke skin. Did you get it checked out at the hospital?”

Lin Qiushi thought that no skin would’ve been broken had Ruan Nanzhu not given him that extra bite. And he’d claimed it was disinfection, but his bite was way harsher—it was ridiculous. Not that Lin Qiushi said any of this out loud. He only shook his head to indicate he was alright, and that he’d already been to the hospital.

After that, Qin Budai disappeared from the mansion.

With great synchronicity, nobody asked where he’d gone. Even Cheng Qianli, who was least capable of reading people, didn’t mention him again.

They all seemed already prepared for sudden goodbyes.

Only three days after the incident did Lin Qiushi see Ruan Nanzhu again. At that point his wound had scabbed over. He came in from walking Toast with Cheng Qianli, and saw Ruan Nanzhu sitting in the living room eating some fruit.

Hearing their footsteps, Ruan Nanzhu only glanced up, looking them over with a placid gaze.

“Ruan-ge, you’re back,” Cheng Qianli greeted happily.

“Mh,” Ruan Nanzhu replied. Then he looked at Lin Qiushi.

For some reason, Lin Qiushi felt a bit self-conscious. He’d felt that Ruan Nanzhu had been off that night, and was still a bit strange today.

“It’s healed?” Ruan Nanzhu spoke.

Lin Qiushi knew Ruan Nanzhu was asking after his wound, and nodded. “It’s healed.”

“Oh,” Ruan Nanzhu said.

Maybe Lin Qiushi was overthinking it, but he thought he heard a hint of disappointment in Ruan Nanzhu’s tone.

Lin Qiushi continued, “thank you for that night…” Had it not been for Ruan Nanzhu, he would likely be dead already.

Ruan Nanzhu, “don’t worry about it.”

Lin Qiushi hesitated. “Qin Budai, will he get better?”

Ruan Nanzhu slowly chewed the fruit in his mouth, swallowed, and then answered Lin Qiushi’s question: “I don’t know. He determines his own fortune.”

Lin Qiushi, “things like this had happened before?”

Ruan Nanzhu, “like clockwork.”

Lin Qiushi didn’t think he’d get this sort of answer.

“Out of a hundred newbies, ninety-nine will develop mental conditions.” Ruan Nanzhu stood. “The last one is Cheng Qianli.”

Hearing this off to the side, Cheng Qianli looked confused, and asked, “what do you mean the last one is Cheng Qianli?”

Affectionately, Lin Qiushi petted Cheng Qianli’s head. “Nothing, Ruan-ge’s just complimenting you.”

Cheng Qianli, “oh. Heheheh.”

Lin Qiushi thought that to be on the same level of foolish as Cheng Qianli was actually not so easy…

“Prepare yourself,” Ruan Nanzhu said. “Cheng Yixie’s ninth door is opening soon.”

Lin Qiushi’s heart jolted. “I’m going too?”

Ruan Nanzhu, “you don’t want to go?”

Lin Qiushi, “I… I don’t know…”

But Ruan Nanzhu didn’t force it, only spoke evenly, “it’s fine if you don’t want to. You have three days to think about it.”

Lin Qiushi nodded in acceptance.

Once he’d said this, Ruan Nanzhu turned and left. Watching him go, Cheng Qianli said he didn’t know why, but he felt that recently, the feeling Ruan-ge gave off was different than before.

Lin Qiushi asked, “what’s different about it?” To tell the truth, after going through the Qin Budai incident, he realized he was too complacent in the real world. Had this been inside the doors, he’d have never let Qin Budai in.

“I don’t know.” Cheng Qianli scratched at his foolish head. “I can’t really say…”

Lin Qiushi eyed Cheng Qianli, and for a moment fretted how the boy before him was supposed to pass through the rest of those doors. He could too easily imagine Cheng Yixie, with his heart completely broken with worry for his foolish younger brother.

Author’s Note:

I’m taking advantage of the good weather today to wash my cat. Everybody wish blessings of peace upon me.