Isekai Speedrun

The temple ritual came to an end, but I felt like everything moved slower because I wanted to run after the skeleton key immediately.

After the cultists started flowing out of the temple, Ostero Nynaling descended from the indoor balcony and headed to the inner yard of the temple, following the men and women who had lost large flaps of skin during the show. Was Ostero staying in the temple or did he have business with the temple staff like us?

It was also quite possible that he just came to watch the gory skinning show for entertainment. Maybe he followed the stars of the show backstage because he wanted their autographs?

Speaking of backstage passes, one of the white-robed priestesses that stood stageside during the ritual approached our group.

“Welcome to our temple, young merchant.” (priestess)

“We have come as agreed.” (Crys)

The priestess nodded at Kimono courteously, but did a double take of contempt when she saw my face. Maybe I wasn't her type?

“There was no mention of a third person.” (priestess)

“There were no requirements about the number of people.” (Crys)

“We expected only two, as it was known.” (priestess)

“Kingboy works for me. The roads are hard and the weapons are heavy.” (Crys)

“I see. A servant may wait outside.” (priestess)

“No, Kingboy will oversee the trade.” (Crys)

“...It is not mine to decide. I will take you to the arch priest. Follow me.” (priestess)

We followed the young priestess to the stage filled with blood spatters and through a side door into a corridor. The smell of death and decomposition subsided as we walked further away from the main dome, but my anxiousness grew because I had no idea what to expect.

To quote an old master: I had a bad feeling about this.

In a lavishly decorated office chamber, the archpriest stood behind a large white stone table and washed his hands in a bowl of water. Two more priestesses and two male sycophants stood around the table as servants and guards.

When we stepped in, our guide took her place standing next to the archpriest. The room smelled of incense and the walls were decorated with reliefs of suffering people in different poses.

“Your excellency Mantimer; Crystal Pencil, Dragon Kimono and...” (priestess)

“Kingboy.”

“...Kingboy have arrived, as anticipated.” (priestess)

“Kingboy?” (archpriest)

“I suggest we skip the formalities and move to the merchandise.” (Crys)

The sycophants and priestesses were shocked about the disrespectful tone, but the archpriest didn't seem disturbed.

“The young merchant is not a believer, my children. I allow it, as we a short on time.” (archpriest)

I didn't know this archpriest from the series, but I agreed with his attitude. Doing things quickly and leaving quickly was good.

The archpriest dried his hands on a blood-red towel, grabbed a pouch full of coins from a cabinet behind him and dropped it on the stone table.

“Skin for skin, flesh for flesh.” (archpriest)

Kimono picked up the pouch and quickly counted the coins, gave an approving nod to Crys and handed the pouch to me. I held to the money because they had to stay ready for, ahem, ballistic discount.

“The weapons are in a wooden box in our coach on the side yard. Order your men to carry it.” (Crys)

The archpriest waved his hand to the sycophants standing behind him and they left the room. I wasn't sure why the trade was done like this, with archpriest throwing money on the table and we leaving the weapons unguarded outside, but I trusted that Crys knew what he was doing.

“Your servant Kingboy is from the north.” (archpriest)

“He is.” (Crys)

“You deliver your wares to the pagans of No-Lands?” (archpriest)

“It is not for your ears.” (Crys)

“Your skin is still smooth, young one. You could be more respectful of your elders.” (archpriest)

“Paper of a contract is smoother than skin of a man.” (Crys)

“Lamentation Houses of this city have been demolished.” (archpriest)

“Who would wear a black cape and ride a black horse?” (Crys)

“The shadow of a wall is a free zone for those who eat.” (archpriest)

They seemed to be haggling about something else entirely now, using ornate gangslang of the southern territories instead of northern territories. The archpriest probably switched to southern code because he thought I wouldn't be able to understand, but I understood perfectly.

“Young merchant, I will give you a warning out of goodness of my heart: if you are not on our side, you will eventually become his source of skin.” (archpriest)

“Death comes equally to all.” (Crys)

“Hmph, marching hand in hand towards guillotine, a three-bladed scythe will cut the grain when blood chains are linked. So be it.” (archpriest)

After the wooden weapon box was brought in the chamber by the sycophants and placed on the stone table, the sycophants pried the box lid open with a crowbar. The priestesses quickly checked the weapons and counted the ammunition stored in neat rows.

“It is as agreed.” (priestess)

“Close it and take it upstairs.” (archpriest)

The sycophants again left the chamber carrying the weapon box.

Crys took out a contract scroll from his shoulder bag and held it in his extended hand.

“With this, our contract has been fulfilled.” (Crys)

The contract written in shining blood immediately burst in flames, leaving only ash on the floor. It was a flashy magic trick pre-prepared by Crys; a simple chemical reaction that awed the priestesses in the room. The archpriest seemed pleased with this sleigh of hand as well.

“My associate in Crumbling Shores will contact you again for the next shipment.” (archpriest)

“I suggest not. I will be leaving these territories, so I advice you to find another source.” (Crys)

“That is unfortunate...” (archpriest)

He looked at me, probably wondering if my presence had something to do with the news.

“Are you heading north, young merchant?” (archpriest)

“That is still to be determined.” (Crys)

“You should have informed me about this before burning the contract. Such a showy act makes me think you have no intention of continuing our trade relationship. You wouldn't think something foolish like that?” (archpriest)

Guys, please don't escalate this, let's just go...

“Archpriest Mantimer, you think I do not know the true reason you buy these particular weapons.” (Crys)

“Do you think such attitude before me is tolerable?” (archpriest)

“I suggest dropping this matter. There are several merchants who would gladly sell weapons to the lords directly.” (Crys)

I wasn't the sharpest in reading human body language, but I could see the archpriest's aggression rising for a moment, but then it waned. Can you call it microaggression when it's so blatant?

For a moment, there was a silent staring battle between the archpriest and Crys, but soon the archpriest succumbed.

“It seems my warnings keep falling on the wayside. Such a shame, such a shame...” (archpriest)

“We will bid you farewell and good night, then.” (Crys)

“May the light of Lucranah descend upon you, reckless ones.” (archpriest)

One of the priestesses opened the door to us and we left.

I advised Crys and Kimono to be wary of an ambush at the temple yard, but nothing happened. It felt like it went too well. Was that really all?

I could understand southern gangslang and read between lines that this archpriest was selling the weapons forward to the city lords instead of using them for the good of the Lucranah Cult or forwarding them to the West Side Boys Gang. The archpriest had a weird and dangerous side hustle: use cult money to buy cheap weapons and pocket the money by selling them for the enemies of the cult.

Well, it was a common theme for political swindlers and religious hypocrites: blame others openly for things you do in secret yourself.

“Crys, was it alright to tell him that you know about his scheme? He might send West Side Boys after us.”

“Doesn't matter. He's a coward hiding only suicide poison under his robes. It it had been only me and Kimono, he might have thought taking rash actions, but still only on the level of hiring assassins at Crumbling Shores to silence us. Your presence in the room, however, binds his hands until he knows more: which northern gang you represent, how many of you there are, what are your goals here, why do you move with us.” (Crys)

“I see. His plan to sell weapons to city lords seems a bit cumbersome, though. Why take such risks under Lucranah's eyes? Is he just stupidly greedy?”

“The schemes of a crazy person can seem deep and complicated to the ignorant, yet in reality are merely labyrinthine gibberish.” (Crys)

“I hope you're talking about him and not me, haha...”

“Your self-awareness is more rigorous.” (Crys)

“Oh, thanks. We have a kind of a similar saying in the future: the words of a smart person can look like the words of a crazy person for a dumb person.”

“Is that so...” (Crys)

Crys looked at his sister, climbing on the rider's seat.

“Oh no, no, I didn't mean to call her– Sorry, Kimono!”

“What?” (Kimono)

“It seems Speedrun thinks you are mentally challenged.” (Crys)

“I didn't mean it like that, I think you are a smart and lovely person!”

“...I don't care what you think.” (Kimono)

Please don't bully time travelers, sensei. Our feelings are fragile.

In the end, this was a normal buy/sell quest. Exactly like you would play the game as Crystal Pencil. Not all disputes lead to dramatic fight scenes and enemies don't always spawn to known ambush points.

“Now then, Kingboy, the man with the skeleton key.” (Crys)

---

When the night turned on the side of morning, Ostero Nynaling left the temple grounds and headed to a forest slum – an area players had nicknamed Trailer Park.

There were several forested areas inside the fortress walls and this particular strip of forest was full of old carriages and wagons that homeless gangsters had turned into their dwellings.

Ostero didn't go towards main temple or shanty town, so that was good RNG.

We left our coach at nearby inn and booked a room for the sake of appearances, but our plan was to leave the city before dawn. We just waited for Ostero to appear so that we could check if he had the key.

On the streets, Kimono followed Ostero closely from the shadows and we followed Kimono from afar. I wasn't good at sneaking, so we had to do it like this.

Trash burned in the Strangers ruins, black water flowed in the alleys and the sick and the poor ate mushroom soup from wooden pots. A pickpocket planned to bump into me with a knife, but Crys broke his jaw with his knee first and took his knife as a souvenir. A passing group of young men proudly presented their wounds and bruises to us, homeless children played with shinbones, and a toothless old man carrying firewood sang “Holy Master Of My Skin” with a croaking voice.

Seitheargnagh's night life was something I would not praise in a travel guide video.

However, the Trailer Park area was a lot quieter than I expected. I expected partying, drinking and red paper lanterns in trees because it was the middle of the night, but some gangsters in this world actually slept at night. Maybe their Bloody Sunday church service had exhausted them?

Under a grove of dark trees, Ostero slipped inside a cabin that looked like a large Reading wagon without wheels. A strangely lonely and humble abode for a leader of a Dungeon Gang, but maybe he wasn't as rich yet as he was in the anime timeline. Maybe he was just starting his career at this point, or wanted to save money on a long business trip.

Kimono waited us at the edge of the Trailer Park and pointed us to Ostero's shelter when we arrived.

“He went inside there. No guards.” (Kimono)

“Is he strong?” (Crys)

“No.” (Kimono)

“Yes.”

“No. You're just weak.” (Kimono)

“...I don't oppose that characterization, but Ostero is still an area mini-boss at Ouidah. He's more skilled than normal opponents. He may not be at his best stats at this point in timeline, but we should still take a safe strat here and kill him in his sleep. Right, Crys?”

“Dagger in the heart.” (Crys)

Yeah, dagger in the heart... hm? Wait a moment.

It's low-level boss character instakill and we have a main character whose ranged attack stats I remember. Isn't this a perfect opportunity to test the consistency of this world?

“Wait, I have an idea. Kimono, you should actually kill him when he's awake, but use your mini-crossbow.”

“What?” (Kimono)

“Knock on the door to spawn the enemy, but headshot him with a dart arrow through the window hatch.”

Kimono looked at me like I had just asked her out – in other words, like I was a crazy person.

“You are weird.” (Kimono)

“I presume this experiment has something to do with the future.” (Crys)

“You're not wrong.”

“You were quite concerned about standing out and summoning Lucranah before. Why make a riskier attempt now?” (Crys)

“Uh, well, it's not like he's a cult member, or even a local gangster... and we're going to leave the city immediately after, so... Anyway, Kimono, try to headshot him with the mini-crossbow.”

“I'd rather use a dagger.” (Kimono)

“I know, that's exactly the idea. Crys, if he doesn't die immediately after Kimono shoots, could you, you know...”

“Sure.” (Crys)

“After that's done, I'll check his pockets for the key and then we run.”

I was pretty sure that consistents didn't exist here already, but I wanted to be sure. In the game, Kimono had high damage bonus when using melee blade weapons, but also a damage penalty when using ranged weapons. She shouldn't be able to one-shot Ostero with her poison dart crossbow even if she gets an easy headshot with her accuracy and precision stats, if the game stats are in effect here.

But if Ostero dies easily from one headshot, the game stats are not in effect and there's no consistency.

...And as I expected, Ostero fell on the floor with a dart in his skull.

One shot, one kill.

We dashed inside the cabin immediately. Of course, the local neighborhood wouldn't probaly have cared much even if someone had been shot to death with a revolver and robbed, but there was still the possibility that Ostero had hired some neighbor to look after his stuff, so Kimono and Crys kept wary while I searched Ostero's body.

I quickly found a black metal key with a jagged human skull motif. It was sewn into a secret pocket inside his purple buff coat.

“Let's go. It was instakill after all.”

“You wished to see him survive a poison dart in the head?” (Crys)

“I basically wanted to see if Kimono's damage-dealing with a ranged weapon is the same as I remember from history. Or to put it another way, I wanted to see if this guy has the propensity to survive a headshot. You remember what I told you about consistents? I wanted to see if there's consistency in this type of skill-versus-skill setting.”

“And the answer was no.” (Crys)

“Yep. Chaos reigns.”

“I could have told you that.” (Crys)

“No need to get philosophical. Well, you lose something, you win something, I guess.”

No consistents also means that Kimono in this world is strong against enemies he was weak against in the game. Surely that also means Caliph Tze is more vulnerable than in the game. Runkill on consistency level is a runsave on incidental level.

There's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.

“That is the skeleton key?” (Crys)

“This, ladies and gentlemen, is definitely the legendary fast-travel item known as Autorail Skeleton Key. The one skip to rule them all.”