Isekai Speedrun

In the morning, I ordered more hot water to freshen up and then went down to eat a light breakfast of soup and black bread.

After spending so many days and nights in unforgiving and hostile environment talking with low-level thugs, the delicious homemade food and casual friendliness of the innkeeper's wife brought tears to my eyes.

"You look like you haven't eaten in days, son. I'll bring you more bread, it's on the house." (innkeeper's wife)

"Thank you so much."

I gave her a silver coin as a tip after the meal, collected all my gear and headed out.

Although I took the room for three nights, I didn't want to leave anything behind because there was always the possibility that I would have to leave the city in a hurry, or burglars might target the inn when they saw a customer with a fat coin purse.

First things first: I headed to the shopping district and visited a familiar tailoring-slash-smithing shop I remembered from the game called Needles & Stitches. Just like in the game, the shopkeepers enthusiastically brought out many different designs for me to choose from when I brought out my coin pouch.

I stood in front of large oval mirror in the showroom and looked at myself with critical eyes. I wasn't going for high fashion here, I just needed a believable disguise: gang colors that kept me alive and matched my backstory. The high-level gangsters in these parts were probably harder to fool than uneducated wastelanders.

I bought a a shaving razor, a comb, pair of scissors, a bar of soap, bottle of ointment for wounds, a khaki shirt, a crimson scarf, black leather gloves, and finally a trendy dark brown cloak that concealed the bags that I was carrying. Carrying around old army messenger bags wasn't anything abnormal at Crumbling Shores, but better to be safe than sorry.

I spent more money than I intended. The shopkeepers sure knew how to point out the aspects where I was lacking and sell solutions.

I returned to the inn, changed to my new clothes immediately and slapped my forehead – I forgot to buy a yellow bandana in case I have to speak with pirates! But then again, if gangsters searched my bags and found out I was carrying all the gang colors of the rainbow, that would get me into a bigger trouble... probably safer to stick to one matching pattern.

In the old days of gaming, character skins and custom animations were largely just decorative aesthetics, but in Mu-Ur Quincunx, these were integral game mechanisms – the clothes you wore and the movements you made determined how NPCs behaved with you. Without hard difficulty levels, the player character you chose and the clothes you chose for you character dictated how tough the game was.

Just like in the real world, walking around virtually naked as a female character was the Ultra-Nightmare Mode. Big props for all the hardcore streamer girls stepping up to that challenge.

I greeted the innkeeper on the way out and he was startled by my changed appearance.

"Had to suit up for a job interview."

"Oh..." (innkeeper)

He didn't understand what I was talking about.

---

Now then, I needed to find a certain underground information dealer – a well-known character in the game who gave you mini-quests and campaign hints for money.

His street name was Cordbird.

As expected, it was easy to find him from his routine hustle area near the center of High City. He stood at a street corner next to a small water fountain like a regular drug dealer, except he was dressed like a nineteenth century British bare-knuckle boxer with a silk vest and handlebar mustache.

Other than being scrawnier, he looked exactly like the game character.

“Greetings, brother Cordbird.”

“Greetings. Who are you and what do you need?” (Cordbird)

“My name is... Kingboy. I'm looking for a certain merchant of death.”

“Oh? Where do you come from, brother Kingboy?” (Cordbird)

“I come from the land down under.”

“...Fireland?” (Cordbird)

“Sorry, that was just a stupid joke. I come from Stray Dog City.”

“Oh, the city of the Clockmaker. I wasn't sure at first, but how is the–” (Cordbird)

“Sorry, I'm not selling, I'm only buying for now.”

I needed to steer this conversation from the start, otherwise he would pump free info out of me to sell it forward.

“I'm looking for several people. The people I'm looking for should be known here by the names Crystal Pencil and Dragon Kimono.”

“Ah, I see. I might have something good for you then.” (Cordbird)

Cordbird waved his fingers with anticipation and I generously slipped one silver krúrick to his hand. The coin disappeared into his vest pocket.

“Thank you, brother Kingboy. Let me think, the young merchant that calls himself Crystal Pencil does visit this city often with his younger sister, or so I've heard. It could also be that he often attends the gatherings of merchants in the fancier districts. Doing business with him there might be possible, if certain invitations are present.” (Cordbird)

“Is there a way that you could get me such invitation?”

“It is unfortunate, but I am not one invited to such gatherings. I suggest you contact a more accomplished merchant for that. However, you are also in luck, brother Kingboy. The little birds have sung that next such gathering is scheduled for tomorrow night.” (Cordbird)

“So fast! Tomorrow? Really? Delightfully fast, I should say.”

“However, it is unfortunate, as I said. Acquiring an invitation in one day might be impossible, unless you know a merchant with an inclination to fit you in personally.” (Cordbird)

So I need to get an invitation before I get in the right circles. Sounds like a regular game mission: go here, take this item there, then return here. I can work with that. I should ask about the other guys now too, just to be sure.

“To change the topic slightly, could you also tell me if gentlemen named Test Subject and Self-Destruction Dance are in the city?”

“Brother Kingboy, surely you are not mocking me? Making up names of non-existent people to make me look ignorant?” (Cordbird)

“No, that is not my intention at all. Maybe they use different names here? I really do not know.”

“There are those who mock me by calling names out of thin air. Sick Head, Thin Boy, they say.” (Cordbird)

“Sounds harsh. I'm certainly not one to mock a stylish gentleman such as yourself. Then, a man who calls himself Green Free or Free Green, would he be around?”

“No, doesn't ring a bell. Sounds like someone from the south mountains.”(Cordbird)

“A man named Saif then, is he in the city?”

“Saif? There are many Saifs in Sultanate and Corelands, but not here, as far as I know.” (Cordbird)

Hm, that was the thing. Dancer could still be here, but he'd stay out of sight and use a fake name, or Cordbird might know something and estimate the price of the info lot higher.

“Not even with this?”

I showed him a gold krúrick.

“A coin does not summon people into existence.” (Cordbird)

“Ah, sorry. I was being rude. Forgive me.”

“Listen, brother Kingboy. You seem like someone who needs to buy a bodyguard rather than a weapon. Are you perhaps a noble from northern Mu, traveling incognito? Fear not, your secret is safe with me. I can introduce you to a merchant of death more seasoned than young Crystal Pencil, a warrior named Kal Ott.” (Cordbird)

“No, I'm good. Thank you for your assistance, brother Cordbird. Please take this as an apology.”

I gave him a second silver krúrick and and quickly left. I definitely didn't want to hit the Kal Ott flag, he worked for the crime lords in the anime timeline.

That was like a basic rule of thumb in Mu-Ur Quincunx: if infopeddler introduced an NPC without a street name, he was probably non-friendly.

Since Test Subject's name was still unknown in the city, this point in timeline was before the exterior flashback scene at the cliffs, but the most important and most wonderful piece of info was that Crys and Kimono were in business.

With that, the words “merchant gathering in the fancy district” were already enough info for me.

One of the covert missions in the Crumbling Shores level involved sneaking into a merchant gathering and stealing information for the Revolution Movement. This must be a similar invitation-only gathering earlier in the timeline.

The question now is: should I follow Cordbird's advice and contact a cooperative merchant to get an invitation, or just sneak in the gathering without an invitation, because that's what a speedrunner would do?

Running in without an invitation in these circumstances would be quite dangerous. I'm not sure if my pouch of krúricks is deep enough to buy an invitation, but it doesn't hurt to try some intimidating dialogue to sweeten the deal.

No, no, no. Safe strats, remember? Use your wisdom and charisma stats.

I knew just the right merchant to visit.

---

It was written in the early speedlore of Mu-Ur Quincunx that merchant named Gerany was a Nightmare Block. During a sneaky merchant gathering mission, he stood at a balcony and kept ranting on and on about how boring it was to visit these gatherings year after year just to talk shop with other merchants and not make a single krúrick in the process – and doing that, completely bodyblocking the fastest route in the mansion where the gathering was held.

The fans had a field day with Gerany's verbose audio files back then. They made remixes about boring cosplay conventions where you couldn't sell any of your supremely drawn Kimono x Rain doujinshi, memes about Gerany bodyblocking elevator doors and toilet stalls, and so on...

Needless to say, it was quite a relief for speedrunners when alternative route was found and you didn't have to wait for Gerany to stop monologuing and turn his back anymore.

It was time to revisit this ancient period of routing.

I-it's not like I want to visit the red lights district or anything, baka.

---

The sun was still up, so there wasn't that much action in the red lights district. A few ladies of the night still approached me, but I brushed them off by asking directions to Gerany's shop and they quickly backed off.

I was here for business, not for pleasure.

Gerany's shop was at the end of short side street branching off from the main street; a two-story building without a signboard. The open hours of this shop were from sundown to sunrise, but since my business wasn't related to buying his normal wares, I decided to visit immediately during daytime.

A muscular, bald bodyguard stood like a bouncer of a night club at the front door. His gear reminded me of Suleiman's foot soldiers, but he was definitely not working for Suleiman's army. He wasn't an NPC I recognized from the game either. I would have surely remembered a guy with green spiral tattoos on his face.

Well, hesitation doesn't help the mission. Let's try talking to this tattooed neanderthal.

“Greetings. My name is Speedrun. I'd like to speak with master Gerany.”

“No.” (bodyguard)

“Is he not in?”

“You don't look like someone he speaks with.” (bodyguard)

“You're kicking an open door there, yes.”

“Huh?” (bodyguard)

“I understand that I don't look like a regular customer, but I assure you that your employer would be interested in hearing about my business proposal.”

“Are you making fun of me?” (bodyguard)

“No, no, what would give you that idea?”

“You talk down to me. You're talking like some noble bastard.” (bodyguard)

“No, I'm not–“

“Ha!” (bodyguard)

Uh-oh, he tried to sucker punch me, but somehow I instinctively avoided his attack with a quick sidestep and kicked him in the groin area.

Oh crap.

My muscle memory literally kicked in. Again.

The bodyguard dropped down on his knees with a painful grimace and look of surprise on his face. I was surprised as well, I didn't expect I would react to a suddenly approaching fist immediately like this.

Uh... this might be bad.