Is this Hero for Real?

[Act 6] The Green Pig

“Interesting~”

I used to wonder…

How come monsters in fantasy worlds never went extinct?

I could think of it simply, like mosquitoes and other bugs, but then there was the question of how and where they got their food and reproduced.

The solution was unexpectedly simple…

No thinking needed!

—The author created and killed them off whenever they were needed.

Simply give up on making the difficult food chain or reproduction. 

After all, it’s boring~

Stab!

“Hey, baby pig. Be a human in your next life.”

That’s right. That stuff was boring.

There was something I regretted deeply a few days prior when I was running away after being betrayed by the fairies.

Don’t leave room for any future troubles!

I had to eliminate any possible threats in that fantasy world full of ungrateful savages.

“Cruel bastard. How could you do that to a newborn orc…”

“Hey, demon. Are you gonna raise it and send it off to marriage?”

“…”

“If not, shut up.”

I hated the kind that imposed idealism others showed while not acting on it themselves the most.

Who would take responsibility if the orc grew up and put innocent humans in distress?

They’d complain about it regardless of what I did.

It wasn’t even funny, really.

“It’s a misunderstanding.”

“What is?”

“Young orcs are sold at a high price. They castrate it early to kill off its wild nature and use them as livestock.”

“Livestock, you say… good thing I killed it.”

“You’re happy you just threw away a pile of money? I can’t understand how you think at all.”

“Then don’t.”

There was no way a demon that recovered even after getting the bottom half of their body burnt off could understand how a eunuch felt!

Of course, that didn’t mean I was a eunuch at all—

“Wait.”

I didn’t have room to pay attention because of all those life-threatening ordeals, but…

“What is it?”

“We’re doomed.”

“Because you killed a young orc?”

“You think I’d be sorry over one pig after killing a bunch of other baby gnolls?”

“Then what is it?”

“Don’t even try to figure it out. If you figure it out this time, I’ll actually kill you.”

[Outsider]

‘I can’t get agitated, no matter what.’

***

The Hero requested to treat the hand of a girl that saved him.

The Saintess questioned him with a confused face.

“Why must I pay your debts, Hero Oh Hanwoo?”

“That… that’s… well…”

Hero Oh Hanwoo, who wasn’t expecting to get denied in the first place, could not give a solid answer.

“It seems you are taking the miracle of the Saintess lightly.”

“I am not!”

He couldn’t possibly disregard the Saintess' power that could even revive the dead!

“You’re not? I think you’re greatly mistaken.”

After a look from the Saintess, her entourage opened a fancy scroll and started to read it out loud.

“Our nation would like to express gratitude to the Saintess for healing the great Council-woman, Celebless, by gifting the following: 200 ancient moonlight tree bows,  15 spirit swords that hold the essence of the forest, 600 tamed unicorns, 15 feathers of a phoenix,  3 earth dragon scales, 1 bottle of the tears of the Fairy King, 3 blessed shadow cloaks…”

It wasn’t just the physical gifts…

The Fairy Kingdom either conceded or turned a blind eye when it came to political or military issues between the humans, whether it was big or small.

That was a Hero.

He knew the quality of the formalities was good, but not that there would be that much special treatment.

The Saintess gave a short explanation.

“Make a request after you’ve proven yourself to be this valuable.”

Oh Hanwoo, thinking it would be the end if he didn’t answer on the spot, stood firm and insisted.

“Think of it as an investment…! It may not be right now, but I’ll quickly become stronger…!”

“Then we’ll talk after you’ve become stronger, like your friends.”

“…”

His friends were busy laughing at him.

“Look at you now, after acting high and mighty and running off?”

“Was he hoping for a harem?”

“An outsider doing outsider things.”

And some Heroes looked at him like he was a piece of trash, a pest.

“Perverted bastard.”

“Disgusting.”

As the Saintess had pointed out, it was because he didn’t look like a comrade who got involved for ‘sublime intentions’.

“N-no I’m not!”

[A certain male god scolds that lying is bad.]

[A certain immature god of dice is disappointed you’re not standing proud.]

[A certain evil god snickers.]

The gods looked down happily at the troubled Oh Hanwoo.

Then…

“Saintess. This may be a presumptuous request, but may I take in that swordswoman as my apprentice?”

Hero Yoo Bora butted in.

Her tidy, model student impression was the same as always, but the emotion in her voice and facial expression was completely gone.

The Saintess’ sharp eyes from looking at Oh Hanwoo turned soft.

[Name] Yoo Bora

[Level] 6

[Blessings] Hero E, Magic B, Weapon E, Fortitude F

[Curses] – 

[Dividend] 3.84

Because Yoo Bora was a Hero with excellent grades.

Although Jang Miyeon was solo leading from obsessively taking care of herself after almost becoming a gnoll’s victim, Yoo Bora and Choi Gangmin tied first in the comprehensive evaluation for the Blessings and individual talents.

She couldn’t be disliked.

“If that is what Hero Yoo Bora wishes, then I will grant it.”

Comrade? It would be a relief if she didn’t hold back the Heroes.

But wouldn’t she be useful being Hero Yoo Bora’s companion, who was having a hard time from being an outcast?

—Is what the Saintess thought.

She didn’t ask for the opinion of the one getting treated.

“Your hand, Aria.”

“…huh? Yes, ma’am!”

“Yes!”

It was a determined tone as if to say, ‘I’m not wasting any more time on you.’

Under pressure, the girl held back from asking if she could tell her family about it and hurriedly ran to her savior.

The Saintess turned around and spoke.

“Prince Alsus, too much time has been delayed from a useless disturbance. Please hurry along your with your plans.”

“Yes, Saintess.”

The Heroes blatantly laughed at Oh Hanwoo as they walked past him.

“Damnit, damnit, damnit…!”

Oh Hanwoo was looked down on by everyone and even got his beautiful comrade taken from him.

While he was about to go crazy, a ray of light shined upon him.

“Keep your head up, Hero!”

“…Princess?”

Princess Ethena had stayed behind, watching him with warm eyes that weren’t full of disgust.

“You may not have gotten acknowledgment, but you didn’t do anything wrong. It ended up looking like Hero Yoo Bora saved her, but you’re the one who carried her to the Aria temple. Thank you so much for saving my childhood friend!”

“Oh…”

* * *

* * *

“This is my gift to you in return. Please be my second apprentice.”

“Oh? Okay.”

Oh Hanwoo had never gotten a magic lesson, but he still answered on impulse.

‘Your second apprentice?’

As he was about to question her, he jumped in surprise at the change in his body.

[Magic]

Oh Hanwoo lacked the basic information to know this, but he had earned a Blessing necessary for mages.

“I wish you the best of luck.”

Princess Ethena gracefully bowed, holding her dress in both hands, and joined the group that was getting farther away.

Oh Hanwoo snapped out of his trance and muttered to himself,

“I can’t believe Princess Ethena liked me…”

[A certain bold god of beauty drops their jaw.]

[A certain male god applauds you for your own interpretation.]

[A certain immature god of dice gives you a ten out of ten.]

[A certain god…]

Hero Oh Hanwoo’s adventure wasn’t over yet.

***

“You should smile. Even I’m getting anxious because of the moody vibe you’ve been giving off.”

“It’s none of your business.”

‘No one must know I’m a eunuch.’

[A certain god is curious.]

“You might be happy about it, outsider god…”

Since I’d probably never stop being an Outsider.

[A certain god pesters you that they’re extremely curious.]

“It’s a secret.”

[A certain god is complaining.]

[A certain god is complaining.]

[A certain god is complaining.]

[A certain god…]

After staying quiet for a while, the god was back to spamming me again!

But I wasn’t going to tell him, no matter what.

“Hey you… are you really talking with god? You weren’t insane?”

“It’s common.”

I answered nonchalantly to the shocked demon.

That was nothing in a fantasy world where giant lizards flew in the air instead of airplanes.

“…Are you the Demon King?”

“Are you insane? Where in the world is there a level 1 demon king?”

“I’m not insane! I asked because the only ones who can hear an oracle themselves are Demon Kings and Heroes. But there’s no way a Hero can get a Hero’s Curse.”

“Just shrug it off.”

“You’re a strange one, really.”

Having recovered his bottom half from the Saintess’s attack, demon Kogmos hid his horns that symbolized demons right away with magic. They weren’t actually gone, he told me it was a superficial illusion.

“Why couldn’t you do that from the start?”

“Then my recovery would be slower. Plus, isn’t it impossible for a human to stay alive without half their body? It would be useless for me to hide my horns, anyways.”

“You’re actually pretty clever.”

“You’re right, I am.”

I underestimated it because it was the second-closest city, but it took an extremely long time even though we were moving without a break.

Was it because we didn’t have too far left to go?

“$#@ $#@ $!”

“Pigs! Hand over everything you got!”

“%# #$! #@$%!”

“Hahaha! How ridiculous for a mere pig!”

“$#! %$! @%#!”

“Let’s kill these pigs first before robbing them!”

We came across fantasy natives who were traveling in the same direction as us.

Being escorted with several carriages, they collided head-on with the orcs on their cows and horses!

Bam! Bang!

“[email protected]#~?!”

“Oink~?!”

The humans and orcs screamed in unison as they got tangled up together.

But not too much time passed before the scene turned into the orc’s one-sided slaughter.

It was inevitable.

Like gnolls, orcs only go for prey that looks weaker than them—they only attacked if they were sure of their victory.

“Are you not gonna help them out as a fellow human?”

“You didn’t marry an old demon king, either.”

“Fair enough. My bad.”

“…But I can get revenge for them.”

“Heartless bastard.”

Condemned by the sensitive demon, I watched the scene unfold from afar.

The humans, who seemed to be mercenaries, had their backs to the extravagant carriage and were building their last line of defense.

“I smell a female pig.”

“We’re done! Load all the food!”

“Ignore them, hurry up and get away!”

The orcs didn’t go out of their way to attack the humans with their full guard up and tried to leave as quickly as possible with the stolen carriage.

Just as it looked like the orcs’ victory…

Clunk.

Lady A and Lady B walked out as the fancy door opened.

“%#!”

Flames erupted like grenades every time Lady A, wearing an elegant black dress, opened her palms.

Bang! Poof! Poof…!

“What are those female pigs?!”

“I think they’ll give birth to strong kids.”

“I think you’re gonna die before that!”

The orcs burned like dry straws or passed out one by one.

They couldn’t escape because the cows and horses were frozen by the flame magic. It would only be a matter of time for the green pigs to get exterminated.

“…I don’t like this.”

“Are you mad your innocent species are alive?”

“What do you mean, mad?! Don’t say stuff like that! I meant that I was disappointed because I couldn’t avenge them.”

“It’s the same thing.”

“No, it’s not.”

Lady A and Lady B from the extravagant carriage looked like upper-class humans in the fantasy world.

I had to befriend people like them in power in order to not be distressed by those fantasy savages.

Why so?

The answer was simple—

“Fuup!”

Taking a deep breath, I shouted loud enough for my echoes to be heard all across the plain.

“There’s a super pretty female pig here!”

I wasn’t lying.

I didn’t know about the orcs’ eye for beauty, but the two ladies who went back inside the fancy carriage looked extraordinary.

Never mind if they’re not.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Rounding up pigs.”

—Create your own problems!

I’d be fair and square and befriend them through fraud.