Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fking Ridiculous

Chapter 28



The intense light quickly dims.

Gradually, my vision begins to clear.

What I see is my own self confronting a bald Chinese man.

I try to strike him with my fist while shouting.

“YOU! What was that about supporting the Hong Kong protests!!!”

“Die, you whore bastard!!!”

However, just before the Chinese man throws his punch, I catch a glimpse of a short blade jutting out from his left foot.

He stabs my right shin with the blade and stomps on my instep.

Damn it, I’m fighting hand-to-hand and he’s bringing a knife to the party.

But the spectacle doesn’t end there.

As my stance falters, the Chinese man extends his right fist toward me.

Just one hit.

All it takes is that single hit to wreck my face from his attack.

As I see myself collapsing toward the ground with a broken face, I think:

“I’ve been beaten by a bastard who has neither head nor conscience.”

Setting that aside, it is indeed quite menacing.

Yet the situation unfolding before me is utterly incomprehensible.

In that moment, a voice starts to echo in my head.

[Uhhhhh… Ah… My head hurts…]

“Are you awake?”

Finally, the spunky voice in my head awakens.

But something feels different.

[Who are you? Who’s my brother? Why am I here?]

“Get your head straight, I’m in a hurry here.”

[Where in the world is this? Who am I?]

It seems the shock has caused quite severe damage to my brain.

The fact that a fully adult person is calling me ‘brother’ signals serious damage.

In such cases, repetitive shock therapy is effective.

“If you keep this up, should I show you a post from Shinbi’s gallery again?”

[Shin…bi? Shin…uh? Ugh? Something’s coming to mind… Ugh!!!]

A short scream.

And then silence.

After a moment, the voice returns.

[Looks like I had a long nightmare.]

The voice is filled with fear just by hearing it.

I understand perfectly well.

[I can’t remember anything, but I must never recall that nightmare.]

“That’s not the important thing right now.”

Of course, while I can understand, it’s not urgent.

The priority is figuring out what’s happening right in front of me.

[Right, what’s going on?]

“I’m watching myself die in 8K.”

[Oh!]

“No, don’t be surprised, just tell me what’s going on. I’m in a hurry.”

The delays were getting on my nerves.

As I ponder whether I should show it the abyss again, the voice speaks up.

[This is a possibility, a fragment of a future someone has experienced.]

“So that means I died there?”

The voice seems to agree with a ‘hmm-hmm’ as if affirming my words.

I can’t see it, but it feels like it’s nodding.

[Yes, what you’re seeing is the future this bald guy is experiencing.]

“But why am I seeing this all of a sudden?”

[Probably because this is the ability you awakened.]

Finally, I have a protagonist-worthy ability.

This is my world now.

“The time of humiliation and persecution is over. They’re all dead.”

[However, it seems you can only see a short time when I’m watching.]

Just as my burning desire gets doused with cold water.

“Great. But how do you know that?”

[Isn’t the surroundings flashing red? It probably wasn’t like this from the start.]

It’s true; everything has slowly started flashing bright red.

Ah, I get it.

This is a signal from the Party.

“Stand up, you too!”

[……Surely you’re not sane.]

But despite saying there’s a time limit, I feel no problem with my body.

I’m no different from usual.

Then, as if understanding my confusion, the voice continued.

[Of course, your real body isn’t here, so you wouldn’t feel anything.]

“Oh, so going back to the original point comes with a cost.”

[That’s right. The longer you stay, the greater the cost you have to pay.]

“Like mana consumption in Anivia’s castle, right?”

[…..Yeah, that fits quite intuitively.]

A voice sounding somewhat pathetic.

But it didn’t contradict, so it ultimately agreed with me.

The problem is…

“But how do I return?”

[You should return the same way you came.]

The fact that I don’t know how to go back.

“Just a weird mirror piece. I was just curious and gazed at it, and here I am.”

[Then where is that piece?]

“Dunno.”

A bit of silence.

Then a slightly irritated voice came back.

[This is no time for jokes.]

“No, seriously, what do you want me to do? What if it’s really gone?”

[Are you really that dull? Just try thinking!]

That stung my heart a little.

I can’t let this go.

“If you keep hurting my feelings, I’ll hurt you back.”

[Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry.]

The voice quickly begs for forgiveness in my head.

But in the end, nothing was resolved.

“No, what do I need to think about? Just thinking I want to go back is enough, right?”

Just as I finished that thought, everything around me seems to start crumbling slowly.

At the same time, my consciousness begins to flicker as well.

*

My consciousness dims and I regain my senses.

The world still seems to be at a standstill.

In front of me is the Chinese man who looks ready to swing his fist.

At the same time, I can gradually feel my left fist, which I’ve clenched tight.

A pretty generous power for a pause.

Not bad at all.

“Time to make things right, you bastards.”

But the real issue is just beginning.

As the world starts moving naturally again, an intense sense of fatigue floods my body.

My arms and legs start to lose strength and shake like a reed.

This must be the cost mentioned earlier.

If it were just gradually draining my energy, I might have accepted it.

But damn it, this is a lump sum.

A sense of disconnect between my sharp mind and my exhausted body.

It’s something hard to adapt to, even if I try.

If you’ve got a conscience, you should do it in installments, you bastards.

The interest keeps rising, making things tougher.

But the fight isn’t over yet.

If this continues, my head will explode like a watermelon.

So I change the future.

I forcefully lift my trembling right foot and stomp it down quickly, targeting the instep of the Chinese man.

Just that action raises a red number above the bald man’s head.

Only then does he start to realize something is off.

It seems to be shocking enough that even the right punch he prepared as a feint has lost strength.

He even forgets that we’re in a fight and questions me.

“What, how did this happen!”

“Because I supported Uighur independence, I saw the future!!!”

“Wh-what!! Is that true!!!”

I jab my left fist deep into his abdomen.

He begins to step back.

Then I use my left foot to pivot off his foot and rotate my body—inside out.

At the same time, I extend my right foot toward him.

A right spinning kick from Taekwondo.

“I’m not kidding, you moron, did you really believe that? Axe kick!

“Oof! My gut!”

The kick lands deep into the abdomen of the defenseless Chinese man.

A flawless execution of the axe kick.

With that, the Chinese man, now flying, crashes through three or four desks before finally losing momentum.

He’s specialized in physical enhancement, but it seems he didn’t upgrade his brain, as he fainted pitifully.

Of course, I can’t say my condition is good either.

I’m crouching down, panting heavily, a result of using my ability.

“Damn, I’d be better off if I hadn’t babbled on like that.”

At least, with this, I have taken care of everything.

Just then, the door of the Records Storage opens with a strong bang.

The protagonist is none other than Hyeji.

“I’m Gangrim.”

“Hyeji, how many did you kill outside?”

I ask jokingly with a grin.

“Only the enemies? Or were there civilians too?”

“…Civilians?”

But it seems Hyeji isn’t joking.

When I respond with a question, Hyeji chuckles softly and waves her hand.

“I’m kidding. No one has died yet.”

“…….Yet?”

“…….If they’re still breathing, it’s not a problem, right?”

Suddenly, Hyeji averts her gaze.

But since we’ve subdued them, I figured it wouldn’t be an issue, so I asked about the personnel.

“Three in total. One burned, so it just became a GG.”

A classic case of weak-strong-weak.

In that moment, Jeong Ahyeon turns her head toward us, her hands still on the ground.

She’s still with her eyes closed, using her ability.

“Shinwoo Gongja, are you alright? That last moment was really dangerous.”

“Oh? Shinwoo, you were in danger of dying?”

Hyeji shows a look of surprise.

But since that’s in the past, I brush it off.

“It was quite a harrowing situation. Want me to add some extra slices of meat?”

“Refill possible?”

“…I’m starting to doubt my sanity if this is how I’m having a conversation.”

Regardless, we’ve captured a total of nine people.

That’s one more than the initial number I heard.

I contacted the Access Control Department to come to our location.

At the same time, I told them to beat up anyone who starts showing seizures from watching the CCTV and drag them away without question.

The broadcast hasn’t ended yet, after all.

Before long, personnel from the Access Control Department arrive.

Upon seeing us, they thank us repeatedly and begin detaining all the Chinese men.

Seeing that, Hyeji seems a bit sad.

“But Shinwoo, if the public security takes them, it’s all in vain, isn’t it?”

“I also think it’s dangerous to mess with public security.”

“This time I agree too. Shinwoo, stop doing dangerous things.”

Somehow, it has naturally transitioned to me fighting with public security.

I tried to protest because it’s absurd.

“No way! I’m not a crazy dog to fight public security!”

“Shinwoo, have you been sane up to now?”

“I can’t believe it.”

“Damn it.”

Suddenly, from the other side, another strike comes in.

Anyway, we move along with the Access Control Department personnel.

They take the Chinese men to a room that seems to be unused in their building.

I ask one of the department personnel.

“Public security won’t be able to punish them anyway, right?”

“Urgh… That’s likely.”

He answers with a sigh.

But there’s no way I’m letting them go easily.

They are bad Chinese people.

At least they need to be turned into good Chinese people.

“Then can we do something here for a moment?”

“Just don’t kill them.”

As he mutters, the Access Control personnel leave.

Either way, as long as we don’t kill them ‘here,’ it’s not a problem.

We enter the room and confirm the number of Chinese men.

The number revealed through CCTV was eight. But right now, there are fifteen before my eyes.

In case innocent people are caught up in this, I decide to apply a traditional method of verification.

“Anyone here supporting Tibetan, Hong Kong, or Uighur independence, raise your hand.”

Most of the Chinese men grit their teeth and start cursing in Chinese.

At that moment, I see one guy trying to raise his hand.

“Shinwoo, that guy seems to want to raise his hand!”

“He’s probably trained to raise his hand at moments like this. Don’t fall for it.”

“Those cunning bastards.”

“…It looks like there’s a real piece of work right in front of me.”

From the looks of it, all of them are indeed Chinese.

So there’s no need to feel guilty about it.

Guilt is something to feel toward people.

There’s no need to feel it toward such bad Chinese men.

I whispered in a voice that only we could hear.

“Jeong Ahyeon. Create a small summoned beast to check if public security is coming.”

“I can only sense the position of the opponent with my magical power. I can’t tell who it is.”

“That’s fine; if it’s public security, they’ll walk confidently, so let me know quickly if something feels off.”

“Understood.”

Jeong Ahyeon nods, and soon she manifests a small summoned beast.

Now it’s Hyeji’s turn to be asked.

“Shinwoo, what should I do?”

“Hyeji, pull the safety pins and stick one in each of their mouths. And lock the door for me.”

“Isn’t that a model grenade? The color doesn’t look different from a real one!”

Hyeji hesitates.

To give her a slight push, I quietly whisper.

“Are you scared?”

“I’m just too excited!! Just give me the order, Commander. Right now!!”

“…I didn’t hear anything.”

With her eyes closed, Jeong Ahyeon looks horrified.

Leaving her behind, Hyeji and I move in unison.

While Hyeji attaches the grenades to their mouths, I start collecting the Chinese men’s phones.

There was a lock screen on them, but.

It wasn’t much of a problem.

By the time they all have the grenades in their mouths, they were so cooperative, they opened their screens for me.

Meanwhile, Hyeji came close after attaching all the grenades.

“Shinwoo, what do you need the phones for?”

“I want to give them a little gift.”

“But didn’t they dispatch these guys from China? Didn’t they get issued phones too?”

“No, these are definitely their personal phones.”

“Why?”

Hyeji tilts her head, puzzled.

But I can assure you that these are indeed personal phones.

“All of them are iPhones.”

“Oh, American-made. There’s no Huawei here.”

“Gongja, someone is approaching!”

In that instant, the door is banged open.

Followed by some Chinese voices that sound like they’re complaining.

You could tell right away it was public security.

The door is locked, and the public security officers outside are shouting with anger.

And in front of me are the Chinese men trembling with grenades in their mouths.

The preparations are complete.

I turn on my pre-prepared translation app and begin my speech to the Chinese men.

It’s loud enough that they can hear me if they concentrate from outside.

[Thanks for gathering here till now. This was probably difficult in Korea, but you all did well.]

[Public security will be here soon, but our goal of a free democracy is almost complete.]

[Thanks to your noble sacrifices as the dogs of the Party financing us, we are ready.]

[Dictatorship is over. A free Chinese mainland where no one is oppressed or spied on is right before you.]

[When public security arrives, do whatever it takes to appear innocent. Whether it’s to appeal powerfully or to keep silent.]

[I’ll let you know the next gathering in the usual manner.]

It seems they’re listening intently, as I can no longer hear the public security officers complaining outside.

They must be focusing on the speech right now.

Meanwhile, the expressions of the Chinese men are full of passion.

All of them seem so moved, some crying silently while choked up.

Those tears must be tears of joy.

They express their thrill about the freedom to come, squirming with joy even amidst their oppression.

It was so touching.

“Sniff, everyone really longed for freedom.”

“Shinwoo, that was a truly beautiful speech. I’m almost in tears.”

“Just the Gongja and the trait would be the real bastards.”

I wiped away the tears swelling in my eyes.

But of course, the joy from their emotions can’t last forever.

Once the Chinese men settle down, I start taking back their phones and removing the grenades from their mouths.

However, there was still a chance they could express their joy with words.

Since public security was listening from outside, expressing joy would be dangerous, so I spoke in front of the quaking Chinese men.

Vroom!

Like with a chainsaw.

At that, no one flinched.

What a relief.

Just then, two men in angular uniforms from public security roughly enter the room.

As soon as they step in, they shoot out something in Chinese.

Simultaneously, they glare at the Chinese men, openly showing suspicion.

But after a quick moment, they start dragging all the Chinese men outside.

It’s almost time.

Earlier, I had registered the WeChat accounts of the Chinese men when I gathered their phones.

As soon as they all exit, I send a heartfelt message one by one.

“Shinwoo, what did you send?”

“Oh, nothing much. Just wished them a safe journey.”

“… The Gongja must really be mad.”

Jeong Ahyeon sharply glared at me.

She seemed to have figured out what I had sent.

But that didn’t matter.

The messages were already sent.

“Let’s go ask the staff to buy us food. I’m hungry after working.”

“Shinwoo, after America’s victory over China today, let’s have something good.”

“How about noodles and dumplings from a Korean restaurant? And some joongyeopcheong?”

…If you want, do as you please. I give up.

Jeong Ahyeon said, wearing a gloomy expression.

But still, she seemed determined to eat with us, effectively following along.

Then I remembered there’s one last person I hadn’t sent a message to, and I quickly sent it.

We are the last Falun Gong practitioners.

Be careful not to get caught by the authorities.

Once this is over, please destroy your phones.

A magic spell for the Chinese men to become good.



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