Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fking Ridiculous

Chapter 2



Since the day training started, the old man has seriously shown up every single day.

Nopia’s 4th drone.

Regret, despair, obsession.

Since I’m in charge of regret and despair in this novel, isn’t it fitting a 4th drone story?

“Get your head straight, you idiot.”

“F*ck.”

Once again, the old man’s wooden sword pierces my solar plexus.

Did the old man warn me in advance? My parents’ decisiveness was astonishingly quick.

Since I hoped to enter the academy, I informed the school to replace classes with training except for the exam day.

So, right after training started, I received a sudden notification.

“Mom, where’d my opinion go?”

“Young man! Shinwoo is hiding here!”

“Come out, you bastard.”

“F*ck.”

I got caught after trying to talk to my mom while hiding.

In the end, I had no choice but to head to the training center today like a pig being led to slaughter.

But hey, pigs are better off.

Whether it’s electric or a single swing of a hammer, it’s just one shot.

Today too, I moved my feet to become minced meat.

*

Humans are creatures of adaptation.

There’s a reason for this saying.

In the beginning, I spent most of the day lying on the ground.

But as I got used to the beatings, that time gradually decreased.

Of course, the time decreased, not disappeared.

I stand to take hits.

It hurts.

It hurts.

I say it twice because it’s important.

But just like a dog takes three years to pick up a writing skill, I too, made some growth.

Surely, the old man is a top-notch instructor when it comes to physical pain.

I learned a lot indeed.

From various martial arts to the usage of various weapons, I learned it all.

Not to mention basics of physical strength and tips for being a hunter.

They were all useful things.

Of course, just because they’re useful doesn’t mean they’re not sh*tty.

He was a man of few words, but whenever he hit me, he turned chatty like crazy.

When practicing punches.

“Throw a punch using your waist. You won’t have a use for it otherwise, so use it now.”

“…Who shattered that waist while I’m lying here?”

“Oh, was that so?”

When running.

“Run faster. You run faster when you’re jerking off.”

“F*ck! Those are my potato chips!”

“Finish before I eat the whole thing.”

When swinging the sword.

“Aren’t you going to stand? Don’t be so floppy; swing it straight.”

“You swing it like a flaccid penis!”

“F*ck, my penis is stiff, you dog!”

When doing bench presses.

“You’re nothing but a cock.”

“Ugghh…grrr…”

“Oh, I have a delivery. Finish up.”

“F*ck! Put the weight down and go!!”

When sparring.

“Step! You need to! Step on! It!”

“F*ck! Don’t hit me at every exclamation point!”

“If you don’t step, I’ll just keep hitting you like this! One-two! One-two! I’ll beat you up like crazy!”

The old man was a varied storm of nonsense every day.

Yet, there was one day he stayed silent.

It stemmed from a small mistake.

Before I could even activate the sparring ground system, I tried the grounding position on the old man and wobbled forward uncontrollably.

When humans fall, it’s instinctual to grab something.

Unfortunately, that something was the hair on both sides of the old man’s head.

“Hey! F*ck, stop!”

“Oh.”

Bwoop!!!!

I merely yanked it out like a weed.

In that moment, many things paused.

Time froze.

The world came to a halt.

And so did the old man.

“……”

“……I’m sorry.”

“……Get down, you little sh*t.”

“Yes.”

People who have awakened their abilities generally have physical specs stronger than normal people.

The old man, being a hunter and an ability user himself, had a strong physique, but not for his hair roots.

From that day on, the old man’s hair became like a Marine’s buzz cut.

And then, they say “Asee!” to him?

He really got hit hard.

So he got hit hard.

But I do not regret it.

It was definitely worth it.

“Bastard…you little sh*t!”

“Take another hit, you dog.”

Just when I started to adapt to situations like this, I decided to share about the idiot numbers only visible to my eyes.

With a flicker of hope that the old man might know something, I spoke up.

“Asee! I awakened an ability too.”

“Head.”

The old man’s wooden sword stabbed my head.

But it didn’t hurt.

“You’re weak.”

“What the f*ck? Anyway, what’s your ability? Spill it.”

The old man was clutching his painfully throbbing wrist.

“I can see numbers above everyone’s head except mine.”

“Yeah. Probably just more of your nonsense. What could that possibly mean?”

“Old man, you jerked off three times yesterday, right?”

“……Did you see that?”

Suddenly, the old man looked at me with suspicion.

But his face turned slightly red.

Hey.

F*ck you.

This is a harem story, not some sh*tty yaoi!

“Don’t blush, you little whore. My youth is precious.”

“If you keep yapping, I’ll shove this in and make you scream.”

“Don’t shove a non-existent head at me. It might transfer.”

“F*ck.”

In an instant, the old man shriveled down.

He spoke in a gloomy voice.

“….But…you made this, you little sh*t.”

“No matter if it exists or not, it’s meaningless.”

“It’s incredibly important to me. Give it back, my precious hair.”

“Ha ha, no way.”

Seeing the old man nearly tear up, I hit him even harder.

Only hardship makes a person strong.

Then surely, roots will grow stronger too.

Anyway, back to the original story.

“Well, the number above your head went up by 3.”

“So my head’s number went up by 3, so that means I did it 3 times? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

….?

It’s going up again?

Huh?

With trembling hands, I asked.

“Did you take a sh*t, old man? Maybe came without a warning?”

“Don’t f*ck around. I’ll really kill you.”

The old man spoke in a menacing tone, but right now that’s not important to me.

My youth is more important.

I widened the distance while making a last-ditch effort.

“You’re planning to handle me rough like this! Just like some erotic doujin!”

“Shut your mouth!!!!!!!!!”

That day, I learned that a seasoned hunter can tear limbs with bare hands.

At the same time, I also learned that repeated operations of the sparring ground could allow a reset.

Excessive pain surged in, but I shot a word out spontaneously.

“You idiot, you should have reset long ago. That’s why you’re hitting the ceiling this time.”

“Please die.”

The last thing I saw was the old man with his sinister eyes, aiming to rip my head off.

What a nasty bastard.

*

In the end, there were no significant gains from the conversation with the old man (Physical: 9 : Verbal: 1).

But I had a bit of luck.

While waiting for the signal to cross the street, a group of office workers came into my view from a slight distance.

Even in the dim evening, their faces were bright red from drunkenness.

I could hear the conversation between a more senior-looking old man and a young employee who looked fresh-faced.

“Now that we’ve eaten, let’s go for round two!! Where will Assistant Han take us?”

“…….Eh? Manager…..me?”

The youth, looking much younger than the position of assistant, asked the manager in confusion.

Instead of answering the assistant, the manager began to announce to the others.

“Everyone, let’s go to the place chosen by Assistant Han for round two!”

“No…”

If there’s something to see, it’s human nature to look.

I too, was glancing while taking it all in.

In that instance, I saw the number above Assistant Han’s head increase by 1.

“Oh, manager. But we have a meeting with the client from the morning tomorrow. Let’s stop here.”

“Oh, I expected that! I called in everyone for the client meeting! We’ll just have it during round two!!”

With a beaming smile, Assistant Han gritted his teeth and expressed his joy.

“….Jigiulr uldtakhneun.”

“What do you mean ‘thank you’! You have to treat us like this! Let’s go!”

At that moment, the red number above Assistant Han’s head rose by one.

I dumbly kept watching that number until they faded away.

*

As soon as I got back to the sparring ground, I told the old man about this phenomenon.

For the first time, the old man wore a serious expression and spoke to me.

“I don’t know.”

“F*ck you, why say it with a serious face?”

The old man fell into thought again.

After a moment, it seemed like he understood something, but his answer was far from what I expected.

“Probably based on decision-making.”

“That’s ridiculously vague.”

“It counts based on the choices made.”

Hearing that, I asked with an example in mind.

“If I’m deciding whether to eat jungle or go top, and based on what I choose, does it count?”

“That’s probably it. And the butcher always has to come top.”

?

What the f*ck?

How dare you to jungle?

“‘The enemy Fiora lives in top, what is our jungle doing? Jungle!!!’ Those idiots should just die.”

“No, that’s truly OP. Can’t trade damage. And why is Fiora living in top.”

“Of course because the opponent is top, f*ck.”

Then I remembered something and brought it up.

Not the black numbers, but the red ones.

“What about the red number in parentheses?”

“Just think a little. It’s an unwanted result.”

“So that’s why Assistant Han’s expression was bleak.”

He definitely looked as pitiful as I did.

The old man patted my shoulder and smiled broadly.

“Don’t worry! I’ll make you into a bleak face soon!”

“Just be honest. It’s still sh*tty because there’s no hair, right?”

“Your head, f*ck.”

He was making a big deal out of just yanking out weeds.

He’s so petty.

What a miserable person.

“If you were that petty, your pores would be tiny! They’d still be thick now!”

“You dog.”

Once again, I got hit hard.

On the way home after training, I spotted a familiar face.

It was Assistant Han, the one I saw before heading out to eat.

Assistant Han was with his manager on the left and a skinny person on the right, putting their arms around each other.

Judging by the fact that I hadn’t seen the skinny person in the earlier office group, he was probably an employee from a client company.

Maybe he’s the type who starts up when drunk, as Assistant Han was shouting about going for round three.

Conversely, the ones with their arms around him looked very tense.

“Assistant Han! It’s getting too late, why not head home now?”

“That’s right! Assistant Han! You don’t have any meeting tomorrow, so rest well and come in the afternoon!”

“No, I’ll let you rest tomorrow, so just end it here please!”

Assistant Han paused for a moment, closed his eyes, and pondered.

The two people stared at him quietly, holding on to a flicker of hope.

Finally, Assistant Han opened his mouth.

“If we’re resting tomorrow, then round three!!! You have to do it hard while resting!! Let’s go!!!”

Hope vanished.

The two murmured in despair with deadpan expressions.

“We’re f*cked.”

“I feel like our morale will plummet.”

“To Mars it is!!!!!!”

As a side note, the next day’s news reported a brief story related to a break-in at the Aerospace Museum.

The intruders were said to be three office workers.

The news stated that three men were found passed out in front of a model spaceship.

While hugging a shiba inu.

*

Once home, I began sorting through my thoughts.

The change in black numbers with prediction and action.

The change in red numbers due to unwanted results.

It felt ambiguous.

I definitely sensed that the old man wasn’t the type to think things through.

He couldn’t even conclude something like this.

My IQ is 100, while the old man’s is 70.

Combining for an IQ of 170, yet we still couldn’t figure it out.

The old man had both sides of his hair missing, so he probably lost around 30 IQ points.

There’s a solid reason behind deducting the IQ by 30.

Recently, he’s been losing his rationality and crying while sweeping his side hair more than often.

What else could it be if not mourning those 30 IQ points lost?

In the end, I fell asleep without certainties, tucking away vague hopes somewhere in my heart.



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