Is it Wrong that I Woke Up in Danmachi as the Main Character?

The courtyard outside the church where the Hestia Familia had made their home.

There, a giant spectacle was on display.

Namely, me. Specifically, me with my shirt off, sitting in the middle of the yard on a stool while Tia sat behind me to update my status.

Now, if it was just us, I wouldn't mind. But...

"Daddy's super cool!" Fina clapped and cheered.

"...Can Daddy do that with Mommy next time?" Bella looked on with a bit of sadness in her eyes.

Gah! Emotional damage! I wasn't expecting that so early in the morning!

I quickly straightened and patted my chest. "Don't worry, Bella! Daddy promises to do it with your Mommy at least once too-"

*SMACK*

"Gah!?"

Tia tugged my ear and said, "What kinds of things are you promising in front of the children!?"

"I-It's just a status update, Tia!"

"Hmph!" Tia puffed her cheeks and said, "*Just* a status update, you say... You haven't even come to have me update your status since Fina came into our family, and now you promise to let another goddess update it?" She paused and then leaned her head on my shoulder before quietly saying, "...Do I really mean that little to you, Bell?"

"O-Of course not, Tia. But-"

Booming laughter echoed in the courtyard. Welf's. "Bahahaha!" He wiped away tears from his eyes and said, "That's what you get! How does it feel being on the receiving side of that blade of guilt for once, huh?"

I narrowed my eyes and said, "Some brother you are. And should you really be acting like that in front of your daughter?"

Welf froze and then quickly looked down at Pyrrha, standing by his side. "U-Uh, Papa didn't mean that..."

Pyrrha was quiet for a bit. And then she lowered her gaze and said, "Papa is terrible."

Welf collapsed onto the ground and screamed. "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"

...Okay. Maybe I've been putting the guy under a bit too much stress recently with my antics...

Tia giggled and then said, "Okay. I think that's enough playing around for the morning. At this rate, Miach might get worried and come over."

I glanced at the crowd of people around and said, "I think anyone passing by might get worried seeing this..."

Me, sitting with a bare torso in the middle of the courtyard.

Tia, sitting behind me and tracing her fingers across my back.

Fina and Bella standing off to the side, the former excited and the latter a bit depressed.

Welf, punching the ground with tears streaming down his face due to a mental breakdown.

Pyrrha looking confused and worriedly patting her father's back.

...And then there were the ten or so young women that were still sticking around at the church because they didn't have anywhere else to go. Women who were still dressed in scandalous clothing exposing far too much skin because they didn't have spares.

And then there was also the blonde fox girl whose name was Haruhime standing next to that Mikoto girl.

And then there was also Ryuu, who had changed back into her adventurer gear which exposed faaar too much skin.

If anybody passed by and took a look, they might think that I was being offered up as a human sacrifice or something.

...That, or I was about to be ravaged by a crowd of women and engage in all sorts of debauchery.

Tia traced her finger along my back and said, "Well then, let's finish updating your status before anything bad happens, 'Hubby.'"

A light touch, paired with the sensation of something warm dripping across my back.

Was it because I grew stronger? Because I grew more proficient in my skills?

...Or was it because my feeling for Tia eclipsed what I had since the last time she updated my status?

A tingly warmth spread throughout my body from where she touched. There was the familiar sensation of divine mana mixing in with my blood as well. Tia's divine blood slowly being mixed in with my own to update her blessing.

But there was more this time.

A feeling like a gentle flame warming my heart. A nostalgic scent of cinnamon. And then just... happiness.

Like pure joy, devotion, and adoration injected straight into my veins.

Except, these weren't my emotions. Not entirely. But...

"W-W-What is this?!"

Tia scrambled back in shock, her face a deep red.

I tried craning my neck to look at my status. "What is it?"

Tia shook her head, still staring at my back with a flushed face.

I couldn't get a good look at my status by craning my head... but then I remembered that Energy Manipulation was a thing and just distorted the light behind me so I could directly look at it.

...Okay, it wasn't that easy and my vision spun for a bit as everything suddenly looked like it got a weird distortion filter from a photo editor.

But after a few seconds, I got the hang of it. At least, enough to make out what was written on my back.

xxx

[Bell Kranel]
Lv. 2
Strength: I 0
Endurance: I 0
Dexterity: I 0
Agility: I 0
Magic: I 0
Energy Manipulation: E
Compilation: E

[Magic]
Quantum Magic: Instant Magic
Crafting System: Auto-Magic/Instant Magic

[Skills]
Liar's Phrase - Reality is nothing more than the lies we tell. Growth is determined according to the user's will. External influences are subsumed and overwritten.

Storyteller's Refrain - Allows the user to impart a portion of their experiences onto another.

Beloved Prelude - Love born of the everlasting flame warms your heart. Beloved by a goddess of flame, all abilities enhanced at the start of battle.

Fairytale Ending - Love is a myth that does not change in your heart. Beloved by a beautiful goddess of war, abilities do not decline through the course of a battle.

xxx

Ooooh. Okay, I can see why she might react like that. Those last two skills were pretty clear in embodying how I felt.

I mean, I loved Tia and did pretty much everything for her sake, which explained the first skill.

As for the second, while I was open to the idea of loving Freya, Tia was definitely going to always be number one in my heart. Even if that made me feel a bit guilty for Bella.

Aaand Tia just fainted with a happy look on her face.

Huh. She probably just got the feedback from reviewing my memories and emotions in updating my status.

Which means she probably just felt how much I liked her... and how happy I just felt when she updated my status, which would definitely be a happiness feedback loop...

Well, I guess it was a good thing we were going to be staying at home for a while?

xxx

The Guild Office on Main Street.

Due to recent events ranging from Evilus' potential return, the Ishtar Familia's effective collapse, and the recent monster outbreak in Orario, it was fairly busy with most guild receptionists running back and forth doing various tasks.

Most.

As for a certain half-elf advisor responsible for a certain white-haired trouble incarnate...

Eina dropped a pile of books about parenting onto her desk before looking at the young man... Or rather, the young 'father' sitting across from her.

It wasn't the one she expected to see though.

A tall young man with blazing orange hair and icy blue eyes. A toned body and darkened skin as a result from working long hours at a forge. But instead of an adventurer outfit, he was dressed in a professional suit and pants combination.

Sitting on the young man's lap was a young girl with short red hair and mismatched eyes, one just like the young man's and the other a glowing red hue. She wore a cute red blouse and jeans, along with a pair of black leather boots.

Overall, Eina thought it was adorable.

But it was also unexpected.

Eina adjusted her glasses and said, "I'm surprised to meet you of all people here, Mister Crozzo. Didn't you decline having a dungeon advisor?"

The young girl on Welf's lap blinked and looked up. "Papa? You said no to having help? But didn't you say that you should always get help when you can and not try to do everything like Uncle Bell?"

Eina blinked. "Uncle Bell?"

Welf cleared his throat and then patted the young girl's head. "That's right, Pyrrha. But Papa was a bit immature before you came into my life."

"Oh!" The young girl, 'Pyrrha,' nodded and said, "Then I should listen to what Papa says now and not what Papa used to say before I was born?"

"That's right! Papa knew you were smart."

"Heehee!"

A bombshell of information.

Eina did *not* expect to deal with the fact that Welf Crozzo decided it was a good day to request a Dungeon Advisor... her specifically, and that he had brought along his daughter with him.

A daughter that looked suspiciously like Lady Hephaestus, now that Eina took a good look at her.

...And Eina remembered hearing some rumors about a few goddesses adopting spirit children that looked a great deal like them.

And thinking about Bell's daughter again...

...Eina wasn't paid enough to deal with this.

Welf noticed Eina was getting irritated and then cleared his throat. "Thanks for meeting with us, Miss Tulle. Bell said that you were probably busy, so I'm really grateful you took the time to help."

Pyrrha nodded and said, "Thank you, Miss Tulle!"

Eina smiled. "You're welcome. And I *am* busy... but it seems like Bell needs all the help he can get, so I don't mind." She pushed the books over and said, "I'm guessing these are for him too?"

Welf took the books and nodded. "Yeah. The kids got into a bit of trouble, so Bell said he wanted to read the entire library on how to raise and discipline children. He's also grounded, so it's not like he has anything better to do."

"Grounded?"

Welf nodded and said, "Yeah. Tia- I mean, Lady Hestia has been a bit annoyed at his shenanigans, so he's on babysitting duty for a while. Not to mention there's a lot of things we need to sort too with the new Familia members and Bell leveling up-"

"Wait." Eina held up her hand and said, "What was that about Mister Kranel leveling up?"

Welf paused.

Pyrrha looked up at her father and frowned. "Papa..."

Welf laughed and said, "W-Well... Better to get the forms now for Bell and Hestia to fill out than later, right? Ahaha..."

Eina let out a deep sigh.

xxx

[Please come to the run-down church at the end of Main Street for your reward.]

That was the message that Lili received that morning when she opened her quest menu.

Considering the previous rewards she had gotten for doing quests, like the valuable gems and magic items she sold to pay off her debt to the Soma Familia and the magic sword she used to beat up that obnoxious captain who wouldn't let her leave, she was looking forward to the reward.

Except, when she arrived at the location, she was starting to get a bit worried.

First of all, there wasn't a run-down church at the end of Main Street. There was a church, yes. But considering the gleaming white marble exterior, freshly trimmed flower gardens, and golden goddess statue in the middle of the courtyard, it would be impossible to call it run-down.

Second of all, there were a lot of people around. Young women, specifically.

A young woman with long pink hair and matching eyes tended to some roses with a watering can.

A Bulls woman with long brown hair and green eyes stood in a corner of the church's courtyard, tilling the soil and planting some fruit tree saplings.

A Cat woman with red eyes and long pale-pink hair polished the goddess statue with a cloth, joined by an Amazoness with her long hair tied in twin-tails.

Standing beneath the shade of a tree, an older elf woman with short blonde hair looked to be having a serious conversation with a younger elf girl with blonde twin-tails. The latter seemed to be on the verge of crying, but cheered up after talking to the older elf.

Then there was a beautiful woman with flowing blue hair practicing archery in the back of the church next to a young woman with long golden hair tied in a ponytail as well as a young woman with long black hair.

And those were only the women that Lili could see.

Of course, that fact by itself wasn't too much cause for alarm. After all, plenty of Familia had beautiful young women. And judging from how most of those women were wearing a modest blue dress with a fancy flame emblem embroidered on the back, and from how they seemed to be enjoying themselves, they weren't under duress or anything.

But there was a big problem.

Lili recognized them all.

...It was hard not to, considering she just saw them all in despair and forced to do disgusting things they didn't want to just the other day.

But then-

"Ah. You're here."

A calm and confident male voice called out.

Lili froze and instinctively took a few steps back. But before she could run away, the gates to the church swung open and an invisible breeze blew her in.

At the same time, a young man walked out from the church.

He looked different. First of all, his hair was white now and he was wearing a simple black shirt and pants. But there was no mistaking his handsome face or his gleaming crimson eyes.

Lili let out a nervous laugh and said, "L-Lili thinks she has the wrong address, s-so-"

"No." The man who had called himself Caranus smiled and said, "You've come to the right place. After all, you're here to receive your reward for doing that quest, right?"

Lili froze.

At that time, two young girl peeked out from behind the man.

Two of the three who gave her the item that let her use the special [Quest System].

And also the ones who gave her the quest to follow 'Papa and Uncle...'

"Um." Lili smiled and said, "...T-This is a misunderstanding?"

"Well." The man smiled and said, "We can clear it up inside then, Miss Lili."

...Lili knew it was too good to be true...