Internet 24

My eyes widen. This guy is crazy. This has to be a prank for YouTube. A real high-budget Hollywood kind of stunt. That's more possible as this guy being a gnome, magic is real, and I drank blood!

I mean, I have never even thought of that. I gag when I see a drop of it. One time a friend cut their finger in the middle of class, and I just walked out of the room. I didn't know what to do, where the band-aids were, or anything, so I dipped and didn't look back. Things were awkward for us from then on.

I look Kurt in the eye as I attempt to wrap my head around this.

RYE

Oh, hell no. I would never. I mean, I have never!

KURT

Were you born with magic or into a magical family?

Studied magic, or had it taught to you?

RYE

No.

KURT

Have you made a deal with

a demon or mystical being?

RYE

No.

KURT

Ever unknowingly touched

a mystical artifact or were cursed?

RYE

No!

KURT

Then you drank blood. It's the only

way for you to get offline.

My eyes widen. My chest gets heavy. I still refuse to believe this is real. My heart beats faster and faster, and my head gets light.

KURT

Relax, relax; it's more common than you think.

Ever made out with someone with a cracked lip?

RYE

I, huh, eh guess yea.

KURT

There you go. A drop of blood slipped

in right there. It could have been a cook

who wasn't wearing gloves cut themselves,

and didn't know.

One drop in gravy, and that will do it. You don't need to drink a bag of this stuff. All you need is a drop on your tongue, and boom. Now, I will skip ahead and get to the good part.

RYE

I drank blood?

Kurt snaps his fingers. The stool he is standing on floats a few inches off the ground, and then, SLAM!

It compresses into a flat wooden disk in a second. It is wide enough for him to stand on. He floats around me as he talks, making it hard to keep an eye on him.

KURT

The stuff here is bonkers. I mean,

only a guy on bath salts can think of.

That comes from a guy who once wrestled

a beaver bear for a chance to win the heart of a nymph.

Kurt stares into the distance; his eyes show a wounded pride as his mind relieves something traumatic.

KURT

The damn bear walked away with

her heart and a chunk of my thigh.

He snaps back to reality.

KURT

But yes, everything you could ever

need is here. Let me find something.

Kurt raises his hands again. Words I can't make out, in a language I've never heard, out of his mouth. Lights scatter around the shelf, stretching far down the aisle and beyond my vision. Random items fly to Kurt and orbit around him. He looks like a mini-blue Saturn high up there.

He stops speaking and stares at the items.

RYE

I don't remember what you wanted

or you didn't say. It's one of those two.

Either way, I'm sure I can figure out what you need.

As he looks, I begin to feel tired. Random parts of my body feel sore, my lower back, left triceps, right peck, and hamstrings. If I let myself, I could knock out.

Then a jolt down my spine wakes me up as if in all the areas I mentioned, simultaneously, I was pricked by a needle.

RYE

AHHH!

Kurt looks away from the floating items and stares at me. The pain is gone, but the soreness is still growing. I feel a new soreness on my left forearm. I lift the sleeve of my shirt and find something on my arm.

RYE

What did you do to me?

Kurt floats close to me4, leaving the items in the air behind. He rolls his eyes, not hiding it either. He wants me to see him annoyed. That's not what matters now. What matters is what's on me.

KURT

Dear celestial mana, why are you yelling?!?

RYE

Th-this thing on my arm, what is it?

Sitting on my forearm was a slug, but not a regular one. It was made of glass. I can see small teeth piercing my skin, and its tongue plunged into me.

The tongue is thin, like a syringe. A blue vapor is getting sucked out by the tongue and filling its body. Whatever that vapor is, it's sucking it out of me.

Kurt looks at me, and as if I should be used to any of this, he speaks in a casual tone.

KURT

Oh, those glass slugs. They start appearing on

you when people start to window shop, and this

stops them. It looks like they already

have their teeth in you.