LIGHTNOVELONLINE Selfishness isn’t always a bad thing
I closed the door behind me leaving an asleep Asia at the side of an unconscious Issei. She had exhausted herself by crying but she had still been fighting sleep.
I had to take away from her the head of Miki Hyoudou, the head of her mother. That was the only I could promise her right now.
Carrying it was honestly disgusting. Even though I had fought many times, made Riser and Kagutsuchi bleed both with my power of destruction and my hands, in those fights I was in the some and there were literally fights.
I was used to hurting others. I wasn’t used to bear the consequences of people who had died, who I could save but didn't.
The eyes of the mother of Issei were open. My gaze met the lifeless one of the mother of my pawn and my bishop and it made me want to retch.
Miki Hyoudou had been mundane. Miki Hyoudou had been a normal human. Miki Hyoudou had been kind.
She had treated me as family. She had loved her husband and her children. She had hopes and dreams that were now forever gone.
That was the thing with Death. Things ended abruptly when she came. Everything you wish you had done, everything you wished you could do, those possibilities were all gone.
There was also the fact that I knew intimately, familiarly about the existence of multiples afterlives in this world.
Knowing surely that there was an afterlife instead of being a source of relief was a source of worry at least for me.
Miki was Japanese so her soul should have either reached the domain of Izanami or the Hindu afterlife.
There was also a possibility I didn't want to think about. Miki was the mother of a devil, a reincarnated one but still a devil. I had interacted with her. She had loved and cared for two devils. There was a possibility that somewhere in the underworld, she was being tortured right now. There was a chance that someone innocent, someone kind was probably suffering untold torments not because of her character but because of who she loved.
Most Gods were selfish and egocentric by nature. The existence of an afterlife, one designed by one of them was in itself nightmare-fuelling.
I just wanted to destroy everything, to destroy this reality, to change it all but I knew I wasn’t strong enough to do it. ‘Strong enough yet,’ a voice whispered in my mind.
I willed into the world my demonic energy. It came crashing like an angry tide but I controlled it, shaped it as if it were clay. Demonic energy tends toward things unholy, negative and destructive by nature.
The trick wasn’t to try to force it. You could do so but it would be a waste of energy. Instead, you could trick it. The invisible shield erected around Miki’s head wasn't to protect and conserve perfectly her head. It was instead to destroy everything coming close to it.
I wasn’t finished. I ordained the demonic energy and the head it was cladding to go back to my soul. The head disappeared in a vortex of crimson and I felt something weight on my soul. It was the only place I could be sure at a hundred per cent no harm even though improbable would come to it and it made sure I would not misplace it
I turned my gaze toward Sirzechs, Julietta and Akeno. They were the only ones remaining in the corridor. I could not see the other members of my peerage.
“Where are the others?” I asked them. I crushed the rising panic and dread. We were in Sirzechs castle. There was no chance of something wrong happening to me or peerage here.
“They were exhausted Rias,” my brother spoke. “Something understandable. We led each of them to their chambers.”
“Gasper asked to stay at the side of Koneko,” Akeno added. “I didn't find in me the strength to refuse him,” my queen told me.
“You did good Akeno.” My gaze turned and lingered on each of them “You all made the decisions that were needed. I don’t think it would be a good thing for Koneko to wake her up alone when the last time she was awake, she almost died at the hands of a god.”
“So what now?” I found myself musing out loud. I wanted to rest and was exhausted yet paradoxically, I had never felt as energized as I felt right now.
“Now, you rest Rias,” my brother answered me with a small smile. “You take a well-deserved rest Rias. You went through things you shouldn’t have gone through.”
He turned away from us and began walking away. He spoke softly but I still heard his world “Through things I wished you shouldn't have gone through but you did because I wasn't there.”
I realized watching the retreating form of my brother that he felt guilt. He felt as if it was his fault. It's as if he thought he could have changed the world, fate on his axis for me, for Kuoh and he didn't.
I took a step crossing space, crossing the growing distance between him and me and hugged him from behind. I had forgotten it until now but Sirzechs had never wanted to become a Satan. My brother had never wanted to fight even if I was sure the part of him he inherited from destruction like me ached to do so.
My brother had been a music teacher at an orphanage. One of the greatest demons, who was feared by most creatures in existence, who was seen as a worthy successor of the original Lucifer had been a music teacher in an orphanage.
An orphanage that was destroyed by the old Satan faction. My memories showed me that my brother even to me rarely talked about it, but each time he did, the only thing that could be glimpsed from his eyes was guilt and sadness.
His mantle as a Satan I realized was a reminder. A reminder of everything he lost and everything he was fighting for. This title that he didn't want but wore because he believed in a greater cause, because he saw it as the shield protecting Devil kind from itself and other menaces, protecting me, the sister he loved who almost died while he was not there.
“Sirzechs, I love you,” I whispered to him. “I am lucky and proud to have you as my brother. No matter what you do, know that I’ll believe in you,” I honestly told him.
Many would have killed to have a family member like Sirzechs and it wasn't because of his power. It was because of his care, of his love. Ironically, it was because of his humanity.
I ignored the tremors I felt coursing through his body “You don't need to tell me anything right now Brother. I know that you love me. I know that you care for me. Good night brother,” I told him before retreating away. Even though it was classes in darkness, brimstones and sulfur, the devil had a heart.
I walked away from him to Akeno who was looking at me with a soft smile and if before I didn't regret my action, a radiant smile only made me happier that I did it.
She touched and opened one of the doors that stood and looked differently from the others, that looked more golden, more alive.
I crossed the door, entered the room on the other side and she followed after me closing it behind us, cutting us away from the world.
The bedroom looked as lavish if not impossibly more than the one where Asia and Issei were actually staying.
I sat on the edge of the bed before letting my back come in contact with the bed but leaving my feet on the ground.
"...Mmhmhmhmh~" I tried to restrain the moan of pleasure that escaped me but how could I when It felt so good? How could something feel so heavenly? I never wanted to leave this bed.
I felt another weight settle on the bed at my side. This was Akeno. Unlike me who was profiting and enjoying the wonders of devil-made beds, she sat at the edge of it, her back straight, her shining beautiful Amethyst eyes that evocated so much in me fixed on my laying form.
“We need to talk Rias,” she told me softly.
“Can't it wait?” I asked her. I knew that I had promised. I knew what she wanted to talk about and just thinking about it sent happiness and excitement running through my veins. It also sent through their fear. I was scared of ruining everything, I was scared of destroying the love I could see in her eyes for me. I was scared to ruin everything like I always did. I was scared of change.
I watched as her eyes dropped down softly, his they became sadder and it made me want to fucking scream, to rip off my own head the Helios spartan way.
“I'm sorry Akeno,” I whispered to her. I knew she would hear me no matter how far I was away from her.
I took a deep breath more to calm myself than anything else “You are right. We need to talk.”
Hope blossomed in her eyes and I felt happiness bloom inside me at the sight.
“I had tried to hide it for so long,” she spoke looking at me in the eyes, piercing through my soul and everything that made me.
A broken laugh escaped her “I had thought what would be the point? You were you and I was me. I was Akeno, I was Baraqi, the unwanted child of a fallen angel cadre, of a rapist,” she hissed.
She cradled one of her hands with another and there was nothing else in the world at that moment I wished for other than hugging her but I didn't. I needed to hear all of her words.
“I was a half-breed fallen angel who refused to use her own heritage, who let her self-hatred be greater than the love she had for the woman who saved her, for the woman she loved. What is feel right now Rias isn't new,” she told me a hand overing at the level of her heart.
“Since the beginning, since that fateful day, when you saved me, I love you Rias Gremory,” she told me and I knew her words, her love to be true, truer than the rules of heavens, truer than the realities of the world.
I felt out of balance, both giddy and scared, both drowning and breathing too much air “Why didn't you tell me before?” I asked her. “Why now?”
The original me hadn't been the brightest tool in the shed. She hadn’t been perfect but even she should have, would have noticed something.
“I had until recently that love was about sacrifices. I had thought that you would never love me and even if you did, a halfbreed fallen angel reincarnated as a devil as a partner would have been nothing but troubles for you. I had thought that love was enduring and maybe it is but it’s not something I can follow anymore! I would have done everything to be at your side even though you didn't love me as I did. I thought it would be enough but I was lying to myself Rias,” she told me.
“I want more, more than that. I'm greedier than I have ever imagined. I don’t want to see you kiss anyone else. I don’t want you to marry someone else and just stay at your side smiling on the outside but suffering inside. The rating game showed me that I could lose at any moment. It showed me that the certainty I believed in was false.”
‘Did it mean that in the canonical story, Akeno entered the Harem of Issei because of her hidden feelings for Rias or was it maybe something unique to this world?’ I wondered.
“Rias, I want you to be mine. I want to be yours forever and ever. I wish for you to agree, to say yes to me but I would accept if you said no. I just needed to try instead of never doing it. I prefer being for err heartbroken than watching go in the arms of someone else always wondering if something more could have happened.”
I stood up my back leaving the bed. Her gaze stayed on my moving form. I moved turning my back to her. A silver mirror hung in front of me allowing me to see the new myself and Akeno behind “Akeno, I have changed,” I told her. “I'm not the Rias of before you fell in love with.”
This was the closest thing to the truth I could say to her. I was both Rias and not Rias. I had all of her memories but I was also more, different. It felt wrong as if I was lying to her.
I watched through the mirror how she came closer to me. Her hands closed around me locking me in her embrace. She was so much taller than me and at that moment I felt so vividly.
I felt suffocated but at the same time, it felt so exhilarating. It was as if I was Eve and she was the serpent. She would give me everything and laid me bare in consequence.
“I know Rias,” she spoke softly her breath caressing my ears and making my body feel so much warmer. “But, I don't care,” she said softly.
“I love you Rias. I don't care if you are different. I don't care if you change. No matter what, my love will never die.”
I looked at the mirror, at her beautiful eyes which seemed to be staring through my soul. “Is it wrong to hope?” I asked her turning my head to face her.
“Never, Rias, never,” she told me softly before I kissed her.
It began softly, innocent. I could see how happiness shone In her eyes and it felt infectious.
The dance of our tongues became a battle, one where she won and conquered my mouth exploring it, claiming it making it hers and it made me feel as if I had been set on fire.
There was a need that I could feel, a fire that needed to be quenched, that made me want to lose my mind.
I could feel my Muscles begin to tighten up throughout my body and my breathing quickened.
She broke the kiss and retreated away from me. Even though as a devil I didn't need to breathe, I still felt out of breath, light-headed.
One of her hands went to grip hard one of my ass cheeks and pleasure shot through my spine like an electrical discharge.
With her hand still grabbing my ass as if I was a common whore, her common whore, Akeno spoke to me “Do you want me to continue,” she whispered in my right ear. “Do you want me to make you mine, to mark you forever?”
“Yes,” I answered to her softly before a grin split her face.
“Good girl,” she said to me and I tried to ignore the butterflies that appeared in my stomach and that seemingly unquenchable heat that I could still feel.
She pushed me down and I let her do so. There was no point in fighting even though I could have. Letting her control me, submitting, there was freedom in it.
I was never as happy as now that the Kuoh Academy female uniform was so short. Now on my knees, I have a view of Akeno’s pussy.
She had chosen to wear black almost see-through undies. I could see through them her leaking arousal, her beautiful lips that I only wanted to devour.
With a burst of something, her panties disappeared and I was plunged headfirst into Akeno’s pussy.
I grabbed her legs to not fall and began to eat, lapping away blindly. I could not see anything due to how close he held me so I worked through touch and instinct.
My tongue moved sucking her outer lips, plunging into her depths and exploring them. The only indication I was doing something good was the sound she was making.
It was as if she was using me as if she was defiling me as if I was just a toy for her only serving her pleasure and I loved it.
I could feel my panties being soaked and drenched by my arousal. The fire inside my veins was killing me, begging me to demand release but Akeno denied it.
I felt her authority move through reality and before one of my fingers could penetrate me, I felt my hand grow still, numb. “A good girl's pleasure only comes from serving her mistress,” I heard the voice of Akeno say. “Continue like this and maybe I’ll give you the release you desperately wished for.”
I gained in intensity, eating, sucking and licking fuelled by the desperate need to cum with further enthusiasm.
I could feel Some of the arousal of Akeno covering my face and it only made mine late up. I found a nub and I sucked on it, swallowing and wetting with my saliva and Akeno moaned, leaving me drenched with her nectar.
She removed my head from between her legs. Some of cum had filled my mouth leaving me with a taste that was on one side that was a mix of tangy and salty and another side that I could not categorize except that it tasted good.
“You look like a whore,” she told me a smirk and satisfaction etched on her face.
“Only yours~,” I answered. “Please, mistress, I need to cum~,” I begged her. “Please~” I moaned to her.
A giggle escaped “If they could see you right Rias, how fucking slutty you were, how fucking needing you were. Maybe I should fuck you at a devil gathering before all”.
I felt myself get warmer at her words, I felt my skin burn hotter. I imagined it, her fucking me, dominating me before most if not all of devilkind like a common whore. I imagined moaning helplessly under their gazes. An involuntary gasp escaped me “Nnngh fuck~” and I knew Akeno heard it.
I watched how she kneeled at my level and looked me in the eyes “I should have done this a long time ago but that's fine. We got all the time in the world.”
She stood up and I watched with terror and lust how electricity travelled from her arms to her stomach to her pussy. I watched how it began to change, how a dick grew and grew and grew towering over me.
Her dick because this is what it was was at least 8 inches. More than that, it was thick, inhumanly thick.
More than that, it exuded a smell, a presence of domination. It was a weapon, a destroying one and I was its target. “Open your mouth,” She commanded me and I did it.
Her dick plunged into my mouth and continued its advance in the depths of my throat. I choked on it and tried instinctively to retreat away, to free myself but a hand on the top of my head stopped me from doing so.
“I never told you to stop,” Akeno told me. Her other hands descended playing with some of my hair before she grabbed it as it was a leash. Her other hand followed suit giving her leverage and total control over me before the began to fuck my mouth.
She used me as a toy moving my head up and down on her dick, making me choke, making tears flow from my eyes.
She hilted herself each time with force, her leg hitting the lower side of my face with resounding smacks. The air vibrated as she continued to use me, her speed increased as she used me as a toy only serving to give herself a blowjob.
I had stopped trying to think. I couldn't anymore. My mind was consumed by pleasure and aching. I wanted more. I wanted this pleasurable torture to never stop. I tried vibrating my mouth by trying to make a sound to make it more pleasurable for her. “YES~! Like this~” she grunted so I continued.
I don't know how long it lasted. I don't know how long I was so powerless and so aroused. I don't know how long she used me and I stayed like this on my knees and I liked it. It could have been only minutes or maybe hours since she began to facefuck me.
We were devils. We didn't need to breathe. I didn't need to breathe and Akeno knew this. She knew this fact and used it to her advantage mercilessly pounding my mouth and my throat, ruining me, making me hers
After a while, she stopped and removed her dick from my mouth. I felt lightheaded. I felt my body sway begin to sway. I would have entered contact with the ground if she hadn't stopped me from doing so by using my hair as if it were leashes.
“I think I punished you enough,” she whispered to me softly. A good mistress also rewards. She took me in her arms carrying me and she sat at the edge of the bed with me sitting on her lap.
I could feel her warm penis laying against my stomach. One move was all that was needed. One move and she would be inside of me.
She cupped my face in one of her hands and kissed me. I didn't fight it letting her explore my mouth as it was her right to do so.
She broke the kiss and I forced myself to restrain the moan of dissatisfaction that wanted to come out. “I love you Rias Gremory,” she told me. “I always did and always will,” she told me softly.
‘I love you,’ I wished to tell her but she spoke before I was able to as if she could read through my mind.
“Don't say it because I said this Rias. Say it when you are ready. I won't be mad. I had waited ten years for this moment. I can wait a little more to hear you say this.”
I nodded wordlessly and closed my arms around her neck looking at her in the eyes. “Fuck me please mistress,” I begged her.
Impossibly, her smile became brighter, more radiant. “With Pleasure Rias,” she answered. She grabbed me at the waist with her pretty-looking but powerful arms and lifted me up slightly.
I could feel the tip of her dick poking at my entrance. I was drenched and ached for more. Like a sledgehammer, she made me fall on her dick and I lost the ability of thinking.
Everything went white. I lost control of my senses. I could hear someone scream, someone moan but it was as if it was muffled.
I realized moments after that this was me, that this was my voice, that I was the one moaning as I had found Nirvana.
I regain my bearings after a while. My head was lying on one of Akeno’s shoulders. I could feel a hand playing with my hair softly. I could feel a mouth kiss me, worshipping me, taking care of me as if I were the most precious thing in the world.
“Are you alright?” she asked me.
“I had never been feeling as good as now,” I told her honestly. I could still feel her rod inside of me.
It was as if I had been punctured with a sword but instead of it being painful, it only felt comforting, delightful. The mind-breaking aching was gone leaving only pleasure and contentment behind.
I felt her grip move and shift to my hips before tightening “Good,” I heard her say. “This is just the beginning after all.”
“All this time, I haven't been able to see your breasts,” she spoke. Lightning erupted and like a burning fire disintegrated my clothes without hurting me leaving me naked before her.
She moved, sucking, biting one of my nipples and I lost reason again. How could they be so sensitive? How could it feel so good?
This time, Akeno didn't wait for me to get back my bearings. She lifted me up and made me fall down harder than before on her dick.
She did it again and again and again. I moaned. I screamed as Akeno fucked me. I moaned as Akeno destroyed me
I knew She took delight in my moans, in my screams. I knew this because it seemed with each one, she continued to make me ride her faster, harder.
If I knew before that such pleasure could have existed, could have been given, I would have let her fuck me since the first day.
I didn't think I could be the same after this. She was changing, moulding me whether she truly knew it or not. There would now always be me before Akeno fucked me and me after she did.
“O-OH~! PLEASE AKENO..~ HARDER~!!” I moaned in one of her ears. I could feel each part of her new member as if it was mine. I could feel how perfectly it ground into my flesh against my inner walls. I could feel it hitting that pleasurable spot that only made me lose control of myself again and again.
Finally, after an eternity, I felt her grow frantic. I tried to move my inner walls, to tighten them even more around her dick. I closed my legs around her as I slid up and down on her penis. I wanted her inside of me. I wanted her to cum inside of me.
“OH LUCIFER~ RIAS, YOU FEEL SO FUCKING GOOD~” she moaned while still fucking me. “IM GONNA CUM~! IM GONNA CUM~!”
“FILL ME UP AKENO~!!” I told her. “CUM IN ME~!” I begged her and she did flooding my insides with something warm, something that felt so much like her.
I wasn't scared of being pregnant. I was a devil. The chances were pretty fucking low but in case something like this could happen, there were ways to deal with it. I wasn't ready yet to be a mother.
I imagined a child with my eyes and the hair of Akeno or maybe the inverse. I imagined Akeno being at my side, us forever happy.
I lifted my head slowly off her shoulder to look into her eyes. How could I doubt it? “Akeno,” I called her name with all the love I thought I could muster. “I love you!” I told her honestly before heaven brighter than the one created by the Abrahamic god came to life when she smiled. We didn't sleep very much this night and neither of us regretted it.
