Chapter 171: The Flow of Time (3)
Arwin left the capital alone.
As if running away from the unbearable pain of parting, she moved without explaining to anyone.
She took a horse from a Celebrien family soldier and rode endlessly westward.
She tried not to think deeply as she traveled.
Whenever she started to think, thoughts of Berg would come to mind.
All she wanted was to escape from the unbearable pain.
She felt like she would cry if she stopped.
She felt she would be tormented by the unchanging reality.
So, she moved to catch her breath.
Arwin was free.
The freedom she had waited for her whole life was finally hers.
Out of her 170 years of life, she had lived 160 years in torment.
No shackles could hold her back anymore.
...Her relationship with Berg had ended, and now she could travel as she had always dreamed.
That might be why she was running west.
Instinctively, she was heading to the place she most wanted to visit among the many travel destinations she had read about in books.
A place where elves traveling the world always visited.
She had dreamed of this moment for so long.
It was said to be a place where the lake and high snowy mountains created a beautiful landscape.
She wondered if being there could soothe the pain in her heart.
Suppressing her desire to collapse and rest, she kept moving.
Feeling like she might really die, she pushed herself to act.
Arwin camped every night, lighting a small campfire.
An inappropriate action for an elven noble.
But it was something Arwin had always wanted to do once she gained her freedom.
“...”
If there was one thing different from her expectations, it was that starting a fire was harder than she thought.
And the nights without Berg were scarier than she imagined.
Without his warmth by her side, she felt cold, and without his voice, she cried.
-Sob...
Whenever she wasn’t conscious of it, she found herself always thinking of Berg.
Arwin wiped her tears roughly and tried to change her thoughts.
Thinking of Berg was so painful it was hard to bear.
...But when she forced herself to think of something else, when she didn’t think of Berg, she felt empty.
There was no excitement about heading to the place she had dreamed of for 170 years.
-Siiiiik...
As she sat there blankly, hugging her knees, the neglected fire started to die out.
Only then did Arwin realize how cold her body was.
On a night filled with starlight, sitting alone in the vast plains, she battled against the overwhelming loneliness.
...It was a loneliness that she did not feel when Berg was with her.
She remembered the nights she had camped alone with Berg.
Back then, she was too embarrassed and focused on his warmth to feel any loneliness.
She wasn’t afraid, nor was she cold.
But now that Berg was gone, everything hit her all at once.
Only after his radiant presence, which was as brilliant as a flower, vanished did she realize how much strength he had given her.
Arwin buried her face in her knees.
Even though the night was deep, sleep did not come.
That remained the same even as days passed.
During the day, she traveled by horse.
She didn’t forget to give the horse water and weeds as Berg had taught her.
She also made sure to give it adequate rest so it wouldn’t collapse.
Perhaps she was more careful with the horse than she was with herself.
As she headed west, she encountered numerous sights.
Vast open plains. Shimmering rivers. Fields of flowers in various colors.
None of it felt beautiful to Arwin.
Nothing could move her frozen heart.
...Maybe because the absolute aesthetic value had diminished.
Judging it to be so, she continued to ride towards her destination.
Night always came the same way.
And with each passing night, she felt Berg’s absence more acutely.
During their marriage, she had slept with Berg every other night.
This was an unchanging rule.
But now, no matter how many days passed, Berg never came to her side.
His place beside her was always empty.
One night, the reality of Berg’s absence was so suffocating that she let out a loud scream.
With the scream, she shouted at the absent Berg.
She raised her voice defensively, claiming she would live well without him, that he would regret letting her go, that he would never find someone as special as her.
But in the end, she couldn’t go far before shedding tears for Berg.
And the deeper her longing grew, the greater her pain became.
All the positive influence Berg had given her became increasingly clear.
Her curiosity about him...her obsession...continued to grow.
She found herself looking at Berg’s World Tree leaf more often.
Her most treasured possession.
She had placed Berg’s leaf on the World Tree leaf necklace he had left behind.
At least in this way, their leaves could be together.
It was like seeing their harmonious relationship from the past.
She could stare at that necklace all day long.
As she imagined how Berg was living his life, she carefully observed the gradual changes in his condition.
Whenever the leaf shriveled even a little, she felt pain with it, and whenever it improved...she wondered with jealousy what could be making him happy.
She worried anxiously, wondering if the saintess was helping him.
About ten days after she had started traveling, she finally reached her destination.
The clear, cold air kissed her face.
Her breath turned white in the morning chill.
A large lake. The towering mountain range behind it.
Free-spirited flowers and trees surrounding her. Numerous birds and animals.
It was a place untouched by the breath of war.
She had finally reached the place she had dreamed of for decades.
“...................Ah.”
...And at that moment, Arwin realized.
She realized that even this longed-for place could not convey any emotions to her.
...Without Berg, nothing had any meaning.
What she wanted was no longer freedom.
Unconsciously, Arwin looked to her side.
The place where Berg should have been standing.
‘...It’s beautiful.’
She could almost see the ghost of Berg saying those words with a faint smile.
Tears welled up in Arwin’s eyes.
In this place with no one else, she whispered to Berg’s illusion.
“...It was because of you.”
****
Gibson sighed as he approached his daughter’s room.
Ner Blackwood, as always, was quietly gazing out the window.
Ever since she had visited the forest where she and Berg had performed their soul-bonding ritual, and after hearing the mournful cries that echoed through the woods.
Ner had somewhat calmed her tears.
She no longer cried.
She no longer sobbed.
“...”
But Gibson knew that this was not a good sign.
Having lost his wife, Sillin Blackwood, he understood all too well.
It was as if everything inside her had turned to ash.
She had no strength or energy left to shed tears.
She had given up everything, simply withering away.
“....Ner.”
Knowing what it felt like to lose a partner, Gibson couldn’t leave his daughter to suffer alone.
At his call, Ner did not move, responding in a whisper.
“...Has the reply come?”
Her voice was cracked and fragile.
Why did it feel like a dying ember about to go out?
“...No, it hasn’t.”
Gibson couldn’t find any words of comfort for Ner.
Over the past few days, Ner had sent letters to Berg every day.
She poured her endless feelings for her ex-husband into those letters.
Each letter was quite thick.
Somehow, Gibson instinctively knew that each letter contained different content.
But Berg never replied.
Gibson understood that this was Berg’s way of being considerate.
“...”
At the news of no reply, Ner weakly nodded.
“...Then I’ll send one today as well.”
She whispered quietly.
Gibson let out a short sigh.
He wanted to say something but found himself unable to say anything.
Perhaps it was because he understood that nothing he could say would offer any comfort.
Moreover, there was a rumor circulating about Berg Reiker.
...That he was going to reunite with the former saintess.
Gibson knew it was just a rumor, but given the history between them before the war, it seemed natural for such stories to arise about Berg, who had brought the saintess to his territory. They were childhood friends who had been close.
There were even stories of them being old lovers.
Immediately after the war ended, the saintess abruptly stepped down from her position, and Berg divorced his wives.
It was just a rumor, but it might as well be a prediction of the future.
Gibson, knowing Berg, realized that there was still time.
Berg wouldn’t impulsively reunite with the saintess.
But how much time would it take?
It might not take long for the love that was severed by war to rekindle.
And once rekindled, that love would surely last a long time, like embers turning into charcoal.
So, in reality, Gibson knew.
From the moment polygamy was abolished and the moment the divorce happened...
Ner’s relationship with Berg had ended.
Ner was the only one unable to accept this.
Gibson didn’t know whether he should tell her this firmly or give her more time.
He just hoped his daughter would rise again.
Gibson searched for words, then opened his mouth.
“Ner-”
-Slam!
At that moment, someone firmly grabbed his shoulder.
When he turned around, Gidon was standing there.
“...”
“...”
Gibson met his eldest son’s eyes for a moment.
Gidon blinked briefly and asked for his understanding.
Then he spoke.
“...Let me talk to her.”
Gibson pondered for a moment, then decided to trust his eldest son.
The recent behavior Gidon had shown towards Ner was the basis for that trust.
So Gibson left Gidon in Ner’s room and walked away.
He just hoped that Gidon could bring Ner back to her senses.
– – – The End of The Chapter – – –
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