In Marvel as Dante

My death came at the hand of a slippery bathroom tile.

With the life I'd led, I half-expected to die fighting an old enemy in an illegal cage match. I even entertained the idea of saving some snot-nosed kid who should've known better than to text while they crossed the street.

But nope, it was my liberal use of bubble soap that proved to be my undoing.

One wrong step, and here I was.

I'm sure there's a joke in there about not being Gay, but it seemed death had taken my sense of humor along with my body.

The great Axel K.O. ed by a bathroom tile after a post-fight bubble bath, I groaned. I could already see the headlines.

I took comfort in knowing no one was around to point and laugh at me.

"I'm here," a voice chuckled behind me, "and I am laughing my ass off."

I flipped around in the endless void I found myself, surprised that I could still manage that much, but even more so by the stature of the being in front of me. He was a giant, ten stories tall, clad in a shifting purple energy.

"W-who are you?" I stammered out in a mix of awe, fear, and confusion.

The imposing figure was some scrawny ass kid in an oversized hoodie. I was hesitant to believe God had a questionable fashion sense. I almost looked around for a cleverly hidden camera crew. This had to be some kind of joke.

The figure huffed at me. "You're no fashionista either, kid. F.Y.I., the next time you meet someone past the multiversal level, I'd advise you to be careful with your thoughts. They might not be as patient as I am," he leaned in. "I am half-tempted to shove you into a goat and be done with it, but…you're far too valuable for that."

I gulped. I had a feeling he wasn't making empty threats.

Wait, he said, 'next time.' Does this mean more people are as powerful as he is out there?

My blood curdled. And he'd also said Multiverse. Oh my god, the multiversal theory was right.

What the fuck!

"Of course, it's right. Keep up. A bit presumptuous to assume your little planet is the only thing out there in the wider ether. Existence is as vast as my hunger is deep."

I had a million questions, but one presided over all else. "What do you want with me?"

"To offer you an opportunity," he grinned, shrinking to my size. We were about eye-to-eye. "You probably put together that I'm in the business of reincarnation, but I don't reincarnate just anyone. I choose the cream of the crop, A.K.A. those I can snatch up quick enough before their universe's deity notices," he chuckled.

"You stole me?" I said with a tinge of anger and surprise. What kind of jackass steals a person's soul?

Damn it, not again. My entire being tensed—which was stranger than it sounds, seeing as I had no body. I watched the strange God's movements carefully. There was no way in hell I could take him on, but I wasn't going down without a fight.

The God just smirked at me, amusement clear in his eyes.

"I yanked you from your miserable universe to offer you a new life in another, with superpowers, in exchange for a tiny little favor."

I blinked, a bit taken aback. Superpowers? Really? "Either this is for real, or I am in the middle of the most lucid acid trip of my life."

He raised an amused brow and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, I could feel it again. I stared at my callused hand in shock while the god smile grew even wider.

"Still think this is an acid trip, Axel. I have more power in my pinkie than you can comprehend. Hell, I'm so powerful the Omniverse had to shackle me. I can only keep growing if somebody else does it for me."

"I'm guessing that's where I come in."

"In exchange for helping me nick a few things from a universe I have my eyes on, I'll give you the powers of the legendary devil hunter, Dante," he teased.

"Are you for real?" my jaw dropped. This had to be a prank. I'd listened so far because I was dead, and realistically, I had no choice, but this was too...unreal. But then again. He'd just brought me back to life by raising his brow and snapping his finger.

For now, I chose to look past my skepticism and reservations. "To be clear, you're telling me you're going to give me the powers of Dante from Devil May Cry?"

"The one and only."

"Why?"

"Ah, come on, you know why. You've been playing the games every night for months now. I'm stupid powerful. You're going to die if I don't give you at least something before sending you off. Besides, it's a rite of passage. Every victim...I mean, aspirant gets one."

My eyes narrowed at the slip-up. Several alarm bells rang in my head, but I pressed on anyway.

"Where exactly are you sending me?"

"The Marvel Universe."

"I'm sorry, did you just say Marvel?" I knew about the comic universe from my teenage years of pirating movies and bumming comic books off my friends, but wasn't sending me to a make-believe world too…

"Crazy?" he cackled, completing my thought. "No more crazy than literarily making you a game character. But that's the normie way of looking at things. Fictional worlds are bursting with quirky powers, delectable ingredients, and powerful souls. For us 7th-dimensional beings, good powerups don't come by easily.

"Once you can figure out multiversal travel, it's a crime not to try to get ahead by pillaging a few universes, really. You're as good as dead if you stay stagnant after your power reaches galaxy level. The only way to stay alive is to advance," he said. "Remember that. So, are you in?

I licked my lips and contemplated his offer. I was not risk-averse by any means. I became an M.M.A. specialist, for God's sake.

"It's Shin," the being suddenly said.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"It's rude to swear using another god's name when you're in the presence of one," he said matter-of-factly. "Either you say, Shin, or you don't swear at all. You can do the latter if it makes you more comfortable."

"...thanks?"

Shin and I met eyes briefly before the God waved me off.

"Back to your musings then."

In summary, I was on the fence about this. Sure, it'd be rad to be alive again, but all of this sounded too good to be true. There was always a rub, and I wasn't saying yes until I knew what it was.

"Out of curiosity, what do you want me to steal exactly?"

"Oh, nothing much," Shin said casually. "Just the Soul and Space stones. Oh, and a bit of Pheonix flame as well," Shin hummed, rubbing his chin. "You won't believe how hard it is to find phoenixes beyond the multiversal level. Raising them yourself is out of the question."

"Are you trying to get me killed!" I barked out, a bit surprised, but I was always terrible at hiding my true feelings.

"You want me to steal two gems that control fundamental aspects of reality and rob an Outerversal entity! From everything you've told me...that's suicide."

"Would it help if I told you I won't send you down there with just a template? You'll also have access to a store that lets you buy some of the treasures I've acquired over the millennia."

"I'm sorry it's still a hard no," I said. God...Shin knew how many people I'd fight to get both stones. And as if that was not difficult enough, I'd have to take on the Phoenix and somehow walk away with some of her fire?

I was confident in my skills, but I was not delusional.

"Where is your sense of adventure, Axel?" Shin coaxed. "You have a second chance at life? Are you going to pussy out after dying to a tile? It's just another fight?"

"Just another fight?" I balked. "You're asking me to go up against the source of all life in the Multiverse. Her fire can burn reality, and I'm a bloody video game character!"

The God narrowed his eyes. "All I hear is bitching."

With a snap of his fingers, my body evaporated. It'd been so sudden; I didn't even feel the pain. Once more, my soul was laid bare in front of him.

"I'd rather you do this willingly, but if you're going to be difficult, then I have very little use for you," he said as an ocean of pressure bared down on me. The white space where we stood slowly lost its luster, allowing me to peer into space between Multiverses.

Giant clusters of color flashed in vast emptiness, functioning as stars. But, between them, I saw beings of inexplicable shapes writhe in the spaces that the light from the multiverses didn't fully touch.

One of the closest turned its single eye at me, and I felt its mind approach mine. I froze, even as I mentally screamed my lungs out.

Before its mind touched mine, however, Shin restored the white.

I fell to the ground, my soul shivering as I tried to shake off the horror of what had just happened.

"Take my deal or take your chances with them," Shin said plainly. "Maybe they won't eat you. Perhaps they'll wear you like a flesh suit for a millennium or two before putting you out of your misery."

With gritted teeth, I met Shin's imperious gaze. I'd been foolish to think Shin was a decent guy. He wasn't even human. He was probably as warped as those things I saw outside in the void.

"I'll fetch your damned stones and the fire," I said with a heavy breath.

"I'm glad we understand each other. I wish we could've come to an understanding under more reasonable circumstances, but we don't always get what we want. I suppose you ought to be on your way," Shin said. "Oh, and one last thing. Remember, I am always watching."

The last thing I saw was Shin's lips twist into a smirk as he snapped his fingers.