16. A Vow
Caruncle sat around a grand table in the garden. The place was dimly lit by the pale light of the clouds that covered the whole sky. Mortimer stood beside her, holding a slim volume of history in his hands.
“The country was on the brink of independence a decade ago, but the movement died out when a group of rebels were captured, and it has stayed as a colony of the main kingdom ever since.” He finished reading.
She was shocked, her face now looking at the nothingness. I took advantage and got close to her while I pretended that I was talking to her and that she was listening to me. “Hey, Caruncle, do you remember that thing about the movement that the original, the true Caruncle was supposed to take over? The country was meant to gain its independence, but she had taken over the body of the original man and his place, she hadn’t accomplished absolute dog shit. Well done, bravo, my friend.” I felt a little bad afterwards, so I walked away.
“Miss Elena? Are you with me?”
She looked back at Mortimer, I saw her, she had zoned out for quite a while.
“Sigh,” Mortimer put the book on the table. “I thought you were very quite diligent with the literature class, but you seem so distracted with history and politics just now… You know what, you are probably just hungry. I’m going to prepare something, and I will be right back, alright?”
Caruncle nodded and smiled at him. Mortimer left the garden and went inside the manor. The man was a puzzle to him, she heard him talking to Custodio on the entrance.
“Oh, sir, I was just going to the kitchen to prepare something for Miss Elena and myself.”
Custodio couldn’t be heard at all.
“Not at all! I just thought that you were busy and I didn’t want to bother–”
What were they talking about? Caruncle and myself both frowned, trying to decipher the conversation.
“Well, sir… if you insist…”
I yawned, I heard a carriage getting close in the distance.
“Of course, you know that I am your service, always, at your service.”
I turned around and I saw Sebastian carriage arriving from the long dusty road until they finally reached the garden. The man was neatly dressed as always, he got out of the carriage and ran towards Caruncle.
“Miss Elena, you figured it out! You figured out the spell!” He had the small notebook in his hand and put it on the small table she was sitting in front of. “See? The memory spell. When I got home, I tried it myself, and it worked! I wanted to remember what my uncle told me when I was a little kid. He died as a soldier, and I saw him one last time before he left to battle. I wanted to remember what he said. Turns out he just thought I was annoying, heh.” I felt bad, he had a sad smile on his face. “And well, the spell is terrible in the brain, it gave me a terrible headache for two days, but still, it worked! I know it has been just a week since I saw you, but I really wanted to tell you how thankful I am for your help!”
Okay so it had been a week since he came by, and he first met her a week after she had the surgery, so it had been like… what? Two weeks, two weeks since she had the surgery, more or less.
Caruncle had been startled the whole time he had been talking to her, but he hadn’t noticed in his excitement, after he spurted out his nonsense, he finally calmed down, and his eyes turned serious.
“Miss, who are you? You are not a normal person, are you?”
She had the chalkboard on her hands, but she didn’t know what exactly to answer her, or that’s what I could tell from her expression, she looked lost, it was kinda funny.
“Miss, I want to make a vow, towards you,” he got on his knees and took her hand, Caruncle blushed terribly to the point she looked like a tomato, kinda adorable, if the weirdo wasn’t on the scene. “I am now giving you my loyalty to you, I am devoted to you, for life.” She looked at him confused. “You might be asking, why? Well, I recognize an extraordinary person when I see one, and you are not just an extraordinary person, but also an incredible woman too! Anyone, anyone that can decipher the sacred spells our reality is composed from, anyone, is worthy of devotion in my book. Please, accept my vow, I, Sebastian Lysias, will sweat my loyalty to you, even over the Supernal Circle of Mountain Mystics, if your wishes and the ones of the circle ever end up conflicting, I will always prioritize yours, and from this day on, I will follow your lead.” He slowly stretched her arm and kissed her hand. I chuckled, sitting on the table as I always was. Caruncle’s mind had wandered away the whole time the crazy guy spoke, it was only after he kissed her hand that she came back to hear, with her free hand, he patted him on the head.
“Oh, so you accept! You don’t know how happy that makes me!”
“Well done genius, now you were stuck with a talking pet for the rest of your life.” I mentioned it to her outloud. She wanted to look for the chalkboard and clarify what she meant, but she felt too embarrassed to tell him no or in fact say anything else to him at all.
Sebastian finally stood up and sat on the chair that was at her side.
“Now, please, tell me about yourself, I’m still dying to know who you are, where you come from! I barely heard about you from your father, I want to get to see every side of you, why haven’t you joined the circle? Have you been away from the country? Do you travel a lot?”
She shook her head.
“Oh, so you haven’t traveled at all? There is a big secret about you, is there not? Everything about your whole self gives this unnatural aura, I mean– in a good way, of course, there has to be something that you are hiding under those eyes!”
She looked uneasy, I also saw her holding her breath and only releasing it when she felt she was ending without any air, it was a habit she had when she got really nervous.
Sebastian looked at her, waiting for her to take the chalk and write on the chalkboard, but when he saw she wasn't acting at all, he decided to speak.
“Do you want to know what I think?” He smirked, she looked at him with a puzzled expression. “I think that you went through that surgery your father was working on.”
Caruncle broke into laughter, but since she couldn’t talk, her laugh sounded like a bunch of inhalations and exhalations of someone who was having a hard time breathing. If it wasn’t because of her expression, you would think she was choking.
“Woah, the laugh of a fairy.”
She looked away at his comment, and after a couple of minutes, she managed to calm down. Here she was expecting to keep that secret until her death with him, but the guy in front of her had figured it all out. I made the mental note that maybe he wasn’t as dense as he looked. I thought his comment had been fucking stupid and annoying, fairy? She was no fairy, she was no fairy.
“But see what I mean? I know, something, at least part of it, I guess, but even then, my vow stays intact, because the person I admire is you, you, not anyone else, so please, tell me, who are you? Really? I wish I could have known you sooner, so I could have worked on gaining your trust way before.”
She looked pensive for a bit and then she finally started to write on the chalkboard.
“It’s just funnier if I don’t tell you.”
“What? What does that even mean?” Now it was my turn to laugh, his disappointed expression almost broke my heart, but the whole scene, it was just so damn funny. All his enthusiasm had evaporated in an instant, oh god, oh my god! The poor thing!
“So you aren’t gonna tell me?” He looked at her, sad and dejected, she shook her head with a little smile that betrayed her emotions.
“But… I thought.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can tell you.” She wrote back on the board.
“Like, never tell me or just now?”
“I don’t know, probably never, it’s just not wise, I’m sorry.”
“Aww, man.” Sebastian looked away as he leaned back on the chair, he was trying to hide his disappointment and… were those tears? In any case, he was absolutely failing at it, it almost made me feel bad.
Time went on, probably a few minutes, although it may have been closer to half an hour, where was that butler when you needed him? Things got progressively more awkward as the silence extended, and I was starting to get bored, until finally he looked back at her and opened his mouth again.
“You know, even if you can’t talk, I think you are really an interesting person, Elena.”
Let me tell you, this guy wasn't going to win any girl over the normal way, he probably was going to need a lot of money, he was hopeless. Caruncle turned her head back at him but had her eyes on the floor, unable to take the so called "compliment" directly, feeling like she was going to laugh out of nervousness, or was it awkwardness? Not sure, maybe both.
She thought about what she would say to him if she could still speak. It was frustrating, it was always so frustrating, and it made her angry, it made her so angry, not even being able to say a single word. I heard her complain in her head, over and over. It was something that she wasn’t expecting, she never expected to find herself unable to speak again, she would sometimes try to speak up while she was about to sleep, only to end up choking on saliva again, it was annoying, it was really annoying. I knew it, because she kept complaining in her head about it. Nobody else could hear her but me.
She tried to think back at the last words she had ever said, but she couldn’t remember, all of her memories back from where she was in the basement now fuzzy and distant. Perhaps, it had been a cry for help.
“It pains me to see you like that,” Sebastian spoke up. “That face of yours… you are beautiful, so beautiful, but you look so sad, and I feel like my heart is clenched so strongly, I can’t bear it ma’am, I just… I feel like it makes me want to cry, I don’t want to see such a face to look so sad. I’m speaking in all honesty.”
She turned away yet, I could still hear her, I could hear her even if she couldn’t speak. While very deep inside she liked the attention the man was giving her and it produced a hole in her stomach that she couldn’t control, there was still a deep sense of fear creeping in. The fear that, if that man ever found she was just a man, and a man with a weird wish, he would turn mean, or violent, she was afraid, and I could feel it, she stopped smiling.
“Miss Elena,” he took her hand again, forcing her to pay attention to him. “If there is anything I can do for you, anything, let me know, okay? I will do as much as I can on my own, for you.”
She looked back into the house, perhaps Mortimer had decided to prepare a complete lunch, for he had not come back in a long, long while. Caruncle looked back at Sebastian and started writing on her board, her hands felt shaky, but she managed to write the thing.
“I want you to help me kill a man,” she wrote.
***
Caruncle had fallen asleep, it was close to midnight and the lights were already turned off in the whole house. But, there was something rather funny happening, I was back in control.
I don’t know how, if you ask me how I was able to do it, I don’t know, I don’t freaking know, I don’t know what had really triggered it, or how I was doing it, but I was back again, in the world of the living. It had been a month and a half since Caruncle had fallen into the window and she was now able to walk normally, albeit with a slight soreness, but it was alright. I stood up and walked out of her bedroom, I heard the two men talking inside Custodio’s bedroom. I was barefoot so I could make the least noise possible.
“So? Do you think she’s ready?” I heard them whisper.
“Sir, I think that emotionally, she is ready, but I think we should wait at least another month for her to fully heal, the leg injury, while mostly healed now, could cause reduced… performance, of you know what I mean.”
“You don’t need to tell me that, if she’s emotionally ready, then we need to start the preparations for the whole thing, you will send the letter tomorrow so the island is ready for when we go with her.
“Understood, sir.”
I went back to Caruncle’s bed and lied down, I waited, and waited.
I couldn’t hear any steps, no crickets or any sort of creature that could prove me time was actually moving, the house felt desolated. After waiting for what felt like an hour, I stood up and changed Elena’s clothes, I took out a small briefcase I had found in one of the rooms a few weeks back with some of my clothes, and, still barefoot, I slowly walked away from the house.
I was tired of that place, tired of the lessons. Embroidery, language studies, art, etiquette, none of that shit was needed, nothing of that was absolutely needed and I was tired, dead tired. I didn’t want to see Custodio with how he creeped me out, I didn’t want to go through the empty manor, it gave me the creeps, it made me feel that I could end up finding another ghost, just like me, yes, laugh all what you want, but there was something in that place that really creeped me out, I didn’t like it, oh, and I didn’t like that every single day was foggy, always full of clouds, not even a sunset or a dawn I had seen since we arrived to that place, and I was tired, I wanted to see the sun. Also, as the most important reason of them all, I didn't want to wait and see what Custodio was going to do with Elena.
Once I was outside and had made enough distance from the manor, I put on the slippers I had been holding on Elena’s hand, and I walked with a steady but fast pace towards the road. Since it was still dark, I didn’t want to go through the forest, but if I was going to walk through the road, I had better be fast, once those two woke up, I would be way far away and they wouldn’t be able to find us.
I knew that Caruncle would freak out, she always did, but I had a plan, I could go and hide where Sebastian lived, yes, I had no idea in how to find his home, but I had stolen some money from Custodio’s desk the night before, so I could go to an inn, after that, maybe I could ask for directions. Yes, Caruncle would thank me, and once we were far away, she would start a new life, now, from zero, without any creepy men around or people that would sell her away, it would be a nice change of pace and maybe, just maybe, I could take control back of her body yet again.
As I walked I extended my free arm in front of me and I opened and closed my hand, Elena’s hand. It was freaky, things never stopped feeling unreal, but focusing on the physical sensations of the body I was in helped me ground myself. I walked and walked, how long had it been? One hour? The road didn’t seem to end, it was mostly flat, but there were some slopes that I had to walk on, maybe I was already from a neighboring town? I thought I should have brought a map, but I hadn’t found any.
Then, something that shook me stood in front of my eyes, I almost left Elena’s body out of the sheer shock. The road, the more as I walked, was filled by more and more trees at every side, it was as if I was entering the woods myself, even if I had been following the old dusty road. After a big flock of trees the road turned around in a very pronounced curve, but when I went through the curve, I found myself with a huge iron gate, the gate was probably at least 3 meters tall, and the worst of all, it was closed, with three padlocks, padlocks! For fuck’s sake!
I walked towards its sides, the gate should have ended somewhere, perhaps after a few meters, the gate ended and I could cross past the tall, tall trees. No, the gate extended as far as my eyesight went, way deep into the forest. I didn’t understand, was the gate always locked? Or was it only at night? Otherwise, Sebastian wouldn’t be able to enter when he came on the day.
I thought about what I would do for a moment. I could go deep into the forest, but I didn’t know what I could find there. It looked damp, and cold. What if I went all around? Maybe I could climb the iron gate, no, it was way too tall, and I felt weak, there was nothing to put my foot on, I didn’t want to suffer another leg injury now that I had control over again. No, nothing, what could I do?
I heard horses approaching, I panicked. They were coming for Elena, they were coming for me. I thought in hiding somewhere behind the trees, I was about to walk away, when Mortimer appeared from that stupid curve. Had he been following me on foot?
“Miss Elena,” he sounded tired. I wanted to see his face well, but it was still quite dark. “I know that you might be upset, that you want to explore around and start to live your life, but please, come back home.”
I wanted to talk out loud, but naturally, I couldn’t. I thought Caruncle had been a bit dumb when he choked on his saliva while trying to speak, but I wasn’t able to say anything, not even a word, I gave up.
“It’s okay, Miss Elena. You are afraid, and that is our fault.” He slowly walked towards me and I backed away until I felt my back to the iron gate, I could hear the horses getting closer and closer. “We just don’t want anything bad to happen to you, so, please, let’s go home, okay? There is no need to make anything more complicated than what it has to be.” His voice sounded sweet and kind, which pissed me out. He got closer, and closer, until he finally tried to hug me, as if I was a cat or a dog he was trying to catch. The moment he touched me, I was startled and I was kicked out of the body. Caruncle fell on her knees and Mortimer almost yelled, alarmed.
“Miss Elena? Elena!”
Custodio finally arrived in a rather big carriage and without saying any word, he took Caruncle carefully in his arms and put her inside. Mortimer took the reins of the horses and the both of them went back to the manor without saying anything else to each other.