I’m Not a Piece of Shit

Chapter 5: The Dosa I Chose

The first and second named bosses were connected by a short corridor, with no additional mob zones in between.

After a brief walk, I arrived at the next area, where a cinematic (which I skipped) introduced a humanoid monster enveloped in dark energy: the Corrupted Shaman.

The Corrupted Shaman was designed to familiarize players with party-coordination tactics. BloSe features a unique combat gimmick called Fusion and Sequential Strikes.

When a monster’s body glows blue, it signals the time for a Fusion attack. Attacking it sequentially with different elemental attributes deals massive damage and forces it into a groggy state.

Conversely, when the monster’s body glows red, it signals the time for a Sequential Strike attack. Repeatedly attacking with the same elemental attribute achieves a similar effect.

The Corrupted Shaman uses two main patterns: Two-Fusion, requiring two different elemental attacks in succession, and Two-Strike, requiring two consecutive attacks of the same element to break its mechanic.

Normally, players only select one elemental attribute, so it’s typical for pre-designated players to handle Sequential Strikes, while Fusion attacks naturally become an opportunity for concentrated group damage.

But who am I?

The (arguably) strongest Dosa player, Seon Dajeong, of course.

There’s a reason I built my attribute tree with Thunderbolt and Frostbite. I can single-handedly handle both Fusion and Sequential Strikes, demonstrating overwhelming mastery of these mechanics.

This gimmick is also where most retries happen in early-instance dungeons, making it a point of pride to execute it perfectly. 

Additionally, it’s gratifying to steadily build toward the ideal Curse Blade attribute tree I envisioned.

Sure, there might be limits around level 30, but if I progress quickly enough, I’ll meet others like me.

After refining my cycle further during the wolf battle, I was ready to begin the fight.

“A new sacrifice has arrived. Offer your body willingly!”

With that roar, the second named boss battle began.

Whereas the wolf demanded responses to direct attacks, the shaman served as a tutorial for Fusion and Sequential Strike mechanics, making its basic attacks very simple.

As a ranged attacker, the shaman either idly waved its staff to launch a large black orb or scattered several smaller orbs in a radial pattern.

It also had a fixed monster summoning pattern at 75%, 50%, and 25% health.

“Rise, and offer your souls to me!”

With this unique line, two black phantoms would spawn randomly on the field.

They had low health and were easy to kill, but their high attack power made taking simultaneous hits from the phantoms and the shaman’s attacks quite painful.

In a party, this meant non-aggro members needed to handle the phantoms quickly. Since I was solo, I had to handle them methodically.

I used Shield Talisman to block the projectiles launched by the shaman. For the phantom approaching from a distance, I immobilized it with Binding Formation and dispatched the closer one using Repelling Talisman and Thunderbolt Talisman.

Then, I finished off the distant phantom with the Frost Blossom Talisman.

The actions flowed smoothly as if second nature, a display of proficiency that felt almost godlike.

Am I a genius at this?

“Cursed wretch! Face divine punishment!”

The shaman’s Fusion pattern began, announced by another signature line. Its body glowed blue, signaling the mechanic.

Since I had been intentionally conserving Frost Blossom Talisman while attacking, I first threw Repelling Talisman imbued with an electric attribute and followed up with Frost Blossom Talisman.

“Krragh!”

The shaman let out a piercing scream, doubling over and trembling as it entered a groggy state from the successful Fusion counter. I poured all my remaining attack skills into it, dealing a significant chunk of damage.

To an observer, it might have looked like a simple fight between two ranged attackers standing in place and trading blows.

Indeed, I didn’t make unnecessary movements, and the shaman, as a ranged boss, also stood still most of the time.

But that brief calm was about to end.

At 50% health, the shaman summoned three enhanced phantoms. From that point onward, I had to stay on the move.

Unlike the phantoms at 75%, those summoned at 50% were noticeably stronger and sturdier.

Even landing two of my main attack skills didn’t immediately take them down.

From this point onward, I needed to keep moving, maintaining distance from the phantoms, and dodging the shaman’s projectiles rather than blocking them.

I started with the phantom that had spawned to my left, which was closing the distance quickly. 

Using Binding Formation and an attack skill simultaneously, I managed to take it down, securing a path for my movements.

A shiver ran down my spine as I instinctively ducked, narrowly dodging an incoming projectile. I rolled forward, evading the attack of another phantom that had crept close.

There wasn’t even a moment to regain my stance before I had to use Shield Talisman to counter the phantom’s second attack. 

Taking advantage of the brief opening, I used Phantom Shift to put more distance between us.

Why didn’t I just play a melee DPS? It would’ve been so much easier.

This belated regret came rushing in.

Honestly, it wasn’t a baseless thought. The Dosa’s dilemma in the original world had been the same.

To maximize damage potential, you were forced into close-range combat. At that point, wouldn’t it be simpler to just play a melee DPS with better survivability and less complexity?

When people around me made that argument, I’d always counter with an overconfident, “I’m different.” Looking back now, I resented my past self for that bravado.

No.

This is the Dosa I chose.

I gritted my teeth and pushed on.

After carefully taking out the remaining phantoms, I managed to carve out a bit of breathing room. 

With one less phantom to worry about, I even had the luxury to block the shaman’s projectiles with Shield Talisman.

The projectiles were thankfully large and visually distinct, making them easier to dodge or block.

“Kyaaaah—!”

At 25% health, four phantoms appeared. I ran around wildly, dodging attacks and screaming internally, barely clinging to life.

Party play would’ve been so much easier.

I admit it. I messed up.

Somehow, I staggered through the second named boss fight. Dust-covered and battered, with only 10% of my health remaining, my vision was tinged with red.

Even though it had taken longer than necessary, I achieved my goal.

Why insist on soloing in this dungeon?

The reward for clearing the instance was a level 15 primary weapon selection box.

If I had partied up, the loot would’ve been subject to bidding or dice rolls, meaning I’d have to rely on luck or money to win. My chances of obtaining it would’ve been slim.

That would’ve forced me to run the dungeon multiple times, wasting valuable time I could use to progress further.

In any case, cleared!

Seon Dajeong, victorious!

I equipped my new weapon, Curse Blade Infused with Traces of Corruption. Despite its grandiose name, it was just an ordinary, common-grade item.

Still, it was noticeably stronger than the Practice Curse Blade I’d been using so far. Though I’d inevitably replace it at level 20, for now, it would do the job.

I jumped into the dungeon exit portal.

After a brief ripple of distortion, I reappeared at the entrance of the Corrupted Den where I had first entered. The area was still crowded with people.

Listening to the chatter, I heard the usual lines:

“Looking for a tank specced for taunt! Three DPS waiting!”
“Need someone to run until all four of us get weapon drops!”
“What attribute tree should I use for greatswords?”
“Beware of ‘Master Swordsman.’ Ran off with loot after four runs. Marked and blacklisted!”

Nothing unusual there.

Come to think of it, this world must have community boards too. I’d check them out tomorrow after work.

I checked the time. 3 a.m.

With work starting at 8 a.m., I could still sleep for five hours if I went to bed now.

But let’s be real—whether I sleep five hours or three, I’ll still be exhausted tomorrow, right?

The little voice of rationalization in my head worked overtime.

Alright, just the main quest until level 20, and then I’ll sleep.

At level 20, a new instance dungeon with proper tactics unlocks, along with an additional attribute. I’d just push until that point and leave the next attempt for tomorrow.

Perfect.

I’m a genius.

And so, I pulled an all-nighter.

With my last bit of self-control, I logged out of the game and climbed out of the capsule. 

The pleasantly cool environment inside the capsule was in stark contrast to the early summer heat—or rather, July’s blazing temperatures outside.

Shower. I need a shower.

Dragging my drowsy body to the bathroom, I stripped off my underwear and let the cold water wash over me. 

The smooth, soft feel of my skin caught my attention briefly, but realizing I didn’t have much time, I quickly got back to the task at hand.

The most annoying part of living in this body was drying my hair.

Wouldn’t it be nice to just rinse with water, lather with shampoo, rinse again, towel off, and dry in under a minute?

Is this what women always go through?

Suddenly, I felt a wave of respect for women who grew their hair past their shoulders.

Drying my hair, which reached down to my chest, was an ordeal.

By day three in this world, I seriously considered cutting it short. What stopped me?

Long hair. It’s pretty.

It was a direct hit to my preferences.

While drying my hair, I occasionally nodded off, only to jolt awake from the heat of the dryer pressed against my scalp.

Throwing on a plain white T-shirt and some jeans, I headed out for my part-time job.

The cicadas, already screaming their mating calls, served as the background music as I walked through the alley.

It was summer.