I’m Not a Piece of Shit

Chapter 2: Starting with This Name

There was a time when I was unemployed, wandering the internet like a ghost, and I stumbled upon the concept of “survivalism.” It was all about simulating how to survive extreme scenarios like war or nuclear fallout.

Of course, I scoffed at it.

Nuclear war? Fine, just drop the bomb directly on me and make it quick.

Still, I remember skimming through those pages out of boredom.

What was it they said? That the first step to survival is meticulous preparation, and meticulous preparation comes from accurate information?

That seemed relevant now. My first step had to be gathering information.

I pulled out my ID card from my wallet. 9206XX. The birthday matched mine. 

The second number, 2XXXXXX, had changed. The name on the card read Seon Dajeong—a neutral, almost genderless name. 

It matched my own name. The photo showed a face I’d seen in the mirror earlier, sporting an awkward smile.

I logged into Nenever on my smartphone using the ID and password I used to use. It worked smoothly. 

Opening my contact list revealed what I expected—few connections. Family, high school friends, and college acquaintances.

Suddenly, my head throbbed.

From what I could vaguely remember, I’d been on a leave of absence from college. I’d taken a break after finishing my first year. Sure, that could change, but I wanted to believe that it hadn’t.

Taking those major-specific classes and exams again…?

At least I wouldn’t have to go back to the military…

Before darker thoughts could take hold, I shook them off.

If I really had gone back to the past, there was something I absolutely had to check.

I typed Bitcoin into the search bar.

1 BTC = 1.33 billion won.

Unfortunately, Bitcoin had already left Earth’s orbit and was heading into the cosmos. 

Scrolling through the page, I even caught sight of a headline: “Melon Musk Finally Reaches Mars!”

Mars in 2012? Seriously?

Conclusion:

The past I remembered wasn’t all that different.

But the world around me has drastically changed.

The most noticeable difference was in the IT sector, which seemed to have advanced even faster than in my original 2024 timeline. 

I dug into some articles and learned that a professor from K University had developed a practical room-temperature superconductor about seven years ago, kicking technological progress into overdrive.

There was a ton of other information, but my former humanities-oriented brain hit its limits. In any case, I silently thanked superconductors for their contribution.

Thanks to that breakthrough, Bitcoin had become a universal global currency, solidifying its dominance. The dream of profiting from future knowledge? Completely out of reach.

I sighed.

Still, there was one immensely positive piece of news.

The capsule stood proudly in my room—it was, unbelievably, a full-dive virtual reality gaming device.

My twin swords were itching to get some action.

(Although twin swords are notoriously impractical in games, and I’ve never actually used them. But still, the itch felt real.)

Apparently, C&X, a joint venture between the South Korean gaming company CN and XENON, had developed this device.

Honestly, the name alone made me a bit wary. However, a quick search reassured me: the original CEO I remembered had been ousted due to outdated management philosophies, and the company had flourished since. That was comforting.

Speaking of timing…

2012 was the year Blessing of Saint—my favorite game—was launched.

I searched for it on my smartphone, and thankfully, results popped up.

***

[GameMeta] C&X Confirms “Blessing of Saint” Release for June 30: “A Game That Will Redefine History”

Senior Reporter Kim Donghwan, Published: 2012.06.01. 06:00:00

(A photo of a man with an imposing figure bowing respectfully)
Kim Seon-gang, CEO and Lead Director of C&X, introduces “Blessing of Saint”

C&X announced that the full-dive MMORPG Blessing of Saint, which had been in development for years, would officially launch on June 30. 

The announcement was made at a showcase held at the Seoul Convention Center on May 30.

Kim Seon-gang stated, “We’ve reinterpreted traditional RPG mechanics in bold new ways, focusing on combat—the most sought-after content in VR. Of course, we’ve also collaborated with top talent in storytelling and artwork to ensure every aspect of the game meets industry-leading standards.”

Kim also promised, “This game represents the culmination of all our technical expertise, and we will provide free software upgrades to ensure compatibility with all existing capsules.”

I eagerly scoured for more pre-released information. Aside from the full-dive feature, the game seemed almost identical to the Blessing of Saint I remembered.

At some point, my heart started racing.

Even though I’d experienced it before, the thought of fully immersing myself in a VR version of that game filled me with excitement.

Two weeks remained until the launch.

For the first time, I felt a sense of fulfillment about being dropped into this strange world. If this was a dream, I hoped I wouldn’t wake up.

At that moment, a notification chime sounded.

[K-Bank] Auto-payment Failed Seon Jeong (4332) 06/16 14:00 50,780 KRW (KS Telecom Bill Payment) Insufficient Balance

If this was a dream, I wished to wake up.

By the time Blessing of Saint launched on June 30, I had scraped together enough funds to spend around 50,000 KRW without worry.

It had been a grueling and humiliating two weeks.

Looking back at my Google search history even now makes tears well up in my eyes: “How to wear a bra,” “How to use sanitary pads,”—sacrifices of male dignity—alongside the frantic hunt for short-term, one-week part-time jobs.

Thankfully, I didn’t need to learn makeup. My clear, blemish-free skin, faintly rosy cheeks, and lips that matched my reddish hair naturally gave me a look that could objectively be called attractive.

Thanks to that, I secured a weekend morning café job, got an advance on my wages, and managed to survive.

From a diet of one ramen a day, I’d graduated to ramen with pre-cooked rice (Hetbahn). Life was solid.

Still, living as a woman felt awkward.

At the café, even my coworker (scary and critical) had to correct my behavior multiple times. Two weeks simply wasn’t enough time to sync my mind with this new body.

But today wasn’t the day to dwell on that.

I turned to the capsule sitting in my small studio apartment, its white exterior glowing brightly. 

I hadn’t used it even once, saving the experience for a special occasion. That day was today.

It was time to find out how the Blessing of Saint had evolved.

***

A familiar background tune filled my ears as if it were being performed right next to me.

The grand lobby screen I used to stare at in the queue now surrounded me, taking physical form.

I moved my fingers. Just like in reality, each joint moved naturally, responding to my will.

Following the plush carpet on the floor, I walked forward. The capsule must have already recognized my data, as a voice greeted me: 

“Welcome, Dajeong129.”

I arrived at the character creation area.

Normally, previously created characters would be lined up to either side, but this was my first. Instead, various weapons were laid out before me on tables or weapon racks.

Longsword. Greatsword. Dagger. Gauntlets. Spear. Magic Staff. Axe. Curse Blade.

The iconic starting weapons were displayed as if they were real. I stepped forward, drawn to the longsword rack.

Beyond the rack, a hazy figure emerged—a man whose face remained indistinct. 

He demonstrated the weapon’s capabilities: a fast thrust followed by a charge, an elegant five-hit combo, and a dazzling display of summoning spectral blades to attack alongside him.

It was a holographic projection showcasing the weapon’s attributes and fighting style. Seeing it in motion was an entirely different experience from simply watching a monitor. 

Even familiar moves felt thrillingly real. Of course, some movements exceeded the limits of human joints, but that was the charm of game physics.

My choice, however, was already decided.

The weapon I had used from start to finish: Curse Blade.

The hologram changed. The figure drew a blade from their thigh, and paper talismans unfurled like living creatures, circling them in mid-air.

The figure grasped a talisman with their left hand, threw it forward, and the talismans transformed into various shapes: slashing like a whip, scattering like petals, and disorienting the view before merging into a single lightning strike. A flash of pure electricity—Sungeon.

Entranced, I reached out and grabbed the curse blade from the table. A prompt appeared: 

“Do you want to select the Curse Blade?”

I nodded lightly.

Suddenly, my vision blurred and shifted.

It was as if I were looking down at where I had been standing moments ago, observing myself from above like a bird. 

I could move freely, effortlessly inspecting every detail of my body. The weapon racks and tables had vanished. It was time for customization.

I opted to match my real appearance.

Sure, the temptation to make myself taller—or to adjust certain proportions—was strong, but I resisted. My gut told me it would feel unnatural during gameplay.

Next came the character name.

I typed in DajeongDosha, the name of my first character.

I left this one trace of my identity, too attached to change it. It had been called childish by many, but—

If I ever changed it, it wouldn’t be today. 

For now, my first step would be with this name.