If the Deep Sea Forgets You

Mo Han smiled too. “We weren’t apart from each other for more than a day.”

“I still… miss you.” Xia Qingyi carefully scanned the side of his face. After she got her memories back, seeing Mo Han again made her feel as though they had been separated for years.

Was the Xia Qingyi who had remembered the past still the Xia Qingyi that Mo Han liked?

During the period when she still had not gotten her memories back, she always thought that it would be terrible if she had married or had a boyfriend in the past. But now, it seemed to be worse than she thought.

She was not confident that Mo Han would still behave the same after knowing the complete truth. Would he still behave like this if he knew that she had spent her time smiling around loads of other men since she was 13 years old? Would he still behave like this if he knew that she was working for a gang? Would he still behave like this if he knew that she had been in love with another man for five years?

Xia Qingyi did not dare to continue thinking about it any longer.

“What are you thinking about?” Mo Han asked her. “We’re already home.”

Xia Qingyi shook off her thoughts and saw that Mo Han had already driven the car to the doorstep of their home. Their hands had separated unknowingly, and Mo Han was controlling the steering wheel to park the car.

At home, Xia Qingyi was walking towards her bedroom when Mo Han said, “I’ll take you to school tomorrow morning.”

Xia Qingyi thought about it and nodded.

See, no matter what happened, days passed by as usual. After today passed, she seemed to have turned back into the playful troublemaker Xia Qingyi. The Xia Qingyi that belonged to her friends, who had a bright life and the companionship of Mo Han.

The Song Nianmu in her memories seemed to no longer exist, she had already died in that fight nine months ago. But Xia Qingyi knew that she was actually still alive. She could never forget every single event that Song Nianmu had experienced these past eight years; she would keep the memories with her for the rest of her life.

After a week, Xia Qingyi still had not told Mo Han about her getting her memories back. Because she was afraid that everything would change if Mo Han found out.

She wanted to drag it on a little more, and enjoy the life that she finally had after so much difficulty. She wanted to remember every single moment of the life she had now, for she might not have a chance like this ever again.

Mo Han still did not ask her about A City. He seemed to have forgotten about it, always nagging her about trivial things every day, such as telling her to remember her books, to keep in contact with him even when in school. He never forgot to pick her up at school as usual, and the two of them would eat and go home together.

Just like today, she was carrying a bucket of popcorn waiting for Mo Han to buy the tickets as usual, and then the two of them would go to the cinema together.

Xia Qingyi saw Mo Han walking through the crowd towards her. He just reached her side when her phone in her bag rang. She passed the popcorn to Mo Han and rummaged through her bag to look for her phone.

It was an unknown number. She froze for a while.

“Hello?”

“Third Young Master is caught.”

Xia Qingyi had actually guessed it a while ago. She remembered how Third Young Master looked like following her in the dark before she went to A City. What was he thinking of when he saw her that time?

“He is probably not going to be able to get out. He’s still inside the city prison. I found a lawyer and prepared the materials, and as long as Third Young Master cooperates, we’ll be able to reduce his sentence. But… Third Young Master disagreed. He seems to be blaming everything on himself. I can’t think of anything else, can you help me persuade him?”

Xia Qingyi slowly remembered who the voice on the phone belonged to. He was an extraordinarily capable assistant at Third Young Master’s side, and she had seen him a few times before. Scanning her eyes over Mo Han beside her, who was looking at the movie tickets, Xia Qingyi slightly turned to the side and lowered her voice, “Why should I persuade him?”

“Third Young Master will listen to what you say. It was like that in the past. I know you’re no longer working here, don’t worry, Third Young Master’s matters will definitely not implicate you. If you don’t say anything at all, then Third Young Master will really be doomed.” He sounded rather anxious on the other end of the phone.

“I think you don’t understand what I mean. I no longer have any relation with him.” Xia Qingyi’s tone was firm.

“I hope you will not call me in the future,” she said. Xia Qingyi hung up after she hastily ended the call.

Mo Han was still looking at her with the popcorn at one side, gently smiling at her, looking not a bit unhappy at all. Even though he appeared curious, Xia Qingyi did not dare to look at his eyes, not daring to let him know about the side of her that he had never seen before. She felt guilty that she did not dare to say anything at all to Mo Han.

“Let’s go and watch the movie,” Xia Qingyi smiled at him faintly as she said in a low voice. She took the popcorn from him and followed him in to watch the movie.

She was not clear what the movie was talking about from the start until the end. When the theater turned dark, she sat down and stared at the light on the screen for a long time, but the thoughts in her brain turned back to the past, and she got trapped within her memories.

Xia Qingyi remained seated as she kept using the nail of her right thumb to rub against her forefinger. All the sounds from the movie, whether it was laughter or crying, simply went in and out of her ears. She was only staring at the screen soundlessly, she could not hear anything other than her own heart.

But her heart was silent, she only felt empty and hollow inside. She stayed like this and quietly finished watching the movie.

She only remembered that Mo Han was beside her the moment the theater lit up. She had not spoken a word to him at all during the past one and a half hours.

Mo Han stood up, and reached out his hand to take hers. Xia Qingyi glanced at him, placed her hand into his, and followed him as they walked out.

After they walked out of cinema, Xia Qingyi suddenly released his hand and stopped walking. Mo Han turned back to look at her.

Xia Qingyi looked at him. “I’m sorry… I think I need to do something.”

Mo Han was very quiet. He seemed to have seen through everything, and said, “Are you still coming back?”

“I will come back.” Xia Qingyi nodded her head and repeated, “I will come back…”

Mo Han walked up to her, put his arms around her waist and gave her a long kiss. After that, Mo Han hugged her tightly and whispered into her ear, “I’ll wait for you.”

Xia Qingyi wanted to cry again, tears swimming in her eyes, but she endured it and did not cry. She hugged Mo Han back and buried her face into his chest, wiping her tears on his clothes. They remained like this for a long time.

Xia Qingyi realized that she would stay longer and longer in Mo Han’s embrace. He always smelled faintly of mint and tobacco. It was a smell that belonged to him alone, no-one else had it.

His embrace was so warm that it always wanted to make her cry.

But Xia Qingyi still released him in the end. Before she left, she did not dare to look into his eyes. She lowered her head, turned around and quickly walked into the distance, leaving Mo Han further and further away.

Xia Qingyi went to see Third Young Master in the end. She went to the prison and requested visitation. Because he was recently arrested, the conditions for visitations were very strict. Xia Qingyi spoke with the officer for a very long time before he finally agreed to grant her 20 minutes of visitation.

A sheet of glass separated them from each other, and they met once again in prison.

Third Young Master had grown a beard, and he looked much older than before. Exhaustion that she had never seen before was now in his eyes. He was obviously stunned the moment he saw her, and he stood frozen to the spot and stared at her for a long time to make sure that she was real before he sat down, looking at her through the window.

The two of them did not speak. Xia Qingyi showed no expression, and she glanced at him before she lowered her head to stare at her own fingers. Third Young Master picked up the phone beside the window and only stared at her but did not speak.

Xia Qingyi also took the phone and placed it next to her ear. She opened her mouth in the end, “Are you okay… inside?”

“You’ve remembered?” Third Young Master smiled bitterly.

Xia Qingyi nodded her head. “I went to A City to visit Xiao Ye.”

“I thought you wouldn’t want to see me.”

Xia Qingyi said, “I didn’t really want to see you.”

Third Young Master smiled and asked her, “Then why did you come here?”

“Huang the Fourth wanted me to come and persuade you to listen to his suggestion… but I can’t persuade you, I’m sorry… I can’t save you… and I am unable to save you.”

Third Young Master looked at her with a tired expression, and then he returned back to his usual cynical smile. “I know, I’m not hoping for you to save me. You can’t save me, this is my choice.”

Third Young Master looked at her on the other side of the glass and saw that she still looked the same, or perhaps she had gotten prettier. She had many things that she did not have in the past. He asked her, “Do you want to know what happened after you went to find Wang Sheng nine months ago?”

Xia Qingyi glanced at him, and he continued, “Wang Sheng did not die. But he was as good as dead. He became a vegetable, and now he’s still lying in the nursing home. The police also received the recording that you sent. The batch of goods was assumed to be Wang Sheng’s, and it was confiscated and destroyed by the police. After what happened to Wang Sheng, his gang fell apart and all the members left. To me, there’s no other competitors at my level.” He smiled. “It’s still your style. Since the odds of winning are very small, then everyone can lose out together.”

He looked at her. “Do you know why you ended up at the hospital? They wanted to leave you with one last breath and then watch you die right at the hospital doorsteps. They wanted to dangle the last bit of hope in front of you and let you die.”

“I initially thought that you were really dead. I only found out that you were actually alive two months later, just that you had lost your memory. After thinking about it later, I thought that it was good like this, losing your memory may be a good thing to you,” Third Young Master slowly said from the other side of the glass window.