If the Deep Sea Forgets You

“Are you sure that the person you met two years ago was me?” She asked.

“Yes. I discovered the tattoo on your back at that time,” Han Liang said.

It was then Xia Qingyi remembered that she started to believe the words he said at the time because he had mentioned the tattoo on her back.

“If I hadn’t met you before at that time, I probably wouldn’t be able to convince you to believe me so easily,” Han Liang laughed at himself.

Xia Qingyi realized that the more she thought about her own things the more confused she felt, so she decided to stop beating around the bush and asked Han Liang, “Why did you want me to replace Nian Nian at the time?”

Han Liang smiled, his eyes looking at the streets outside. “When I saw Nian Nian’s body at that time, I felt that my life was over, that she was really gone and was no longer able to come back. Then, when I saw you on the next street over, I suddenly felt that Nian Nian had returned. Your expression looked extraordinarily like her at that moment.”

“At that time, I felt that Nian Nian could finally come home for the first time. The two of you looked so similar, both of your expressions were so similar too, I thought that you definitely would become a second Nian Nian, but… I was wrong.”

He turned around and looked at Xia Qingyi seriously, “Your mother is right, the two of you were never the same. No matter how alike the two of you were, you’re Song Nianmu and she’s Song Yuenian.”

“Mom… why would she agree to let you treat me as Nian Nian and bring me home?”

Han Liang said, “Your mother loves you very much. She’s actually extremely afraid, because she’s already lost a daughter. She didn’t want to lose another. She couldn’t help it when you were unwilling to return initially. When she found out that you’d lost your memory, she wanted to take the chance to bring you home. Whether you’re back as the you right now, or as Nian Nian, she only wanted you to come back.”

For some reason why, Han Liang felt incredibly peaceful at that moment, and he looked at Xia Qingyi and said, “Do you know? Both you and your sister’s names contain the word ‘Nian’. But Nian Nian was actually your nickname initially. My wife was originally called Yue Yue. After you left when you were young, her nickname was changed to Nian Nian.”

Xia Qingyi only looked at him. After listening to what he said, she felt that everything was not totally real.

“I wish you could still come back even after you know the truth. Nian Nian… she probably would not return anymore.” Han Liang smiled bitterly as he said, “If you leave again this time, your mother will really be left all by herself.”

Xia Qingyi lowered her head and said, “I’ll think about it.”

Han Liang thought about it and said, “Actually, I should apologize to you…”

Xia Qingyi looked at him, and Han Liang smiled. “That night… treating you like that in your room… I’m really sorry… I really missed Nian Nian a lot that day, and you two looked so alike… I thought you could fall in love with me after that, then I’d really be able to return to the kind of life it was like last time, I was truly in pain, I’m sorry.”

Xia Qingyi knew that he was talking about what he had done to her in the room that night, but she could not bear to see him like this. She looked at him apologizing with his head lowered and said, “It’s okay.”

“Actually, the current you is very similar to Nian Nian; the only difference is that you don’t love me.” His voice was hoarse, and he was playing with the cup of water that had already gone cold, immersed in the past. “Only she loved me so much.

“Are we letting her down?” Han Liang looked up and asked Xia Qingyi.

Xia Qingyi shook her head. “I think she’d understand.”

Han Liang only smiled faintly and did not speak.

“Bring me to see her someday,” Xia Qingyi said.

Han Liang said, “Ask your mother to take you there. I don’t know where she… is buried.” Han Liang raised his head, looked at her suspicious expression and said, “After she… passed away, I never went to see her again. I don’t dare go and see her lying there so quietly.”

Xia Qingyi said, “Alright. I’ll follow your wish.”

The two of them chatted sparingly next to the glass window in the restaurant. After their meal ended, they did not touch their food much, but the sky outside had already turned dark.

Xia Qingyi looked at her watch and said, “It’s time for me to go back.”

“Are you really not going to consider returning back to F City? If you’re concerned about me, I can move to another house in F City.”

Xia Qingyi declined his offer. “No. I still want to stay in this city temporarily. I’ll trouble you to explain to my mother on my behalf, I’ll go back to visit her occasionally.”

“You’re used to staying here?”

“Probably so. It could also be because I stayed here since I woke up, and I felt reassured after staying here for so long.” Xia Qingyi looked at the color of the night sky and the people walking past. “Don’t you think it’s very beautiful here?”

Han Liang also glanced outside the window. “It’s beautiful.” He turned over and asked Xia Qingyi, “The reason why you want to stay here is purely because it’s beautiful? Are there no other reasons? A person, for example?”

Xia Qingyi knew he was talking about Mo Han, but she did not seem to know the answer to his question, so she could only reply him honestly, “I don’t know.”

The two of them did not talk much after. Han Liang initially wanted to take her back, but she did not agree to it and insisted on taking a taxi back. After seeing Han Liang’s car drive away, only then did she relax and call for a taxi.

She looked at the time in the taxi, and it was already nine P.M; it would probably be nine thirty when she reached home, so Mo Han would probably be back soon.

But she did not expect that the house would be dark inside when she unlocked the door. Xia Qingyi switched on the light, scanned her eyes over the house and discovered that there was no one at home.

Could it be that Mo Han had not returned yet?

Wasn’t he always back home around eight in the past? Why hadn’t he come back yet today? Was he busy with work?

Xia Qingyi pondered it as she walked towards her own bedroom. She switched on the light, and prepared to take a bath. But when she walked to the wardrobe to take her clothes, she looked around her and realized that the place had changed.

She walked to the study table, and saw that there were a few books scattered on it. An Explanation and Model Cases of China’s Economic Law , Regarding China’s 2017 New Regulations in Economic Law , and there were a few thick books in English. She flipped through them and realized that she could not understand them.

These were probably Mo Han’s books, but why were they here?

There was even a black eye mask on the bedside table. Xia Qingyi took it up and looked at it. This did not seem to belong to her too.

And there was also a glass cup half filled with water, as though someone had just drunk from it not long ago.

Xia Qingyi circled around her room. Mo Han had come here? From what she saw, he seemed to stay in his room for quite long periods of time, so why would he want to come to her own room? Didn’t he always work in the study room next door?

She did not want to make herself think anymore. She had used her brain for the entire day and was on the brink of exhaustion. She shook her head, messaged her stiff neck, took her pajamas and went into the bathroom to bathe.

Mo Han returned home not long after Xia Qingyi went into the bathroom.

He reached out to switch on the light on the right side by instinct, and looked up and realized that the room was bright.

He saw Xia Qingyi’s bag on the sofa, the keys on the table, the clothes casually flung onto the side of the sofa and light coming out of the unlocked door to her room.

Mo Han put down the briefcase in his hand and heard the soft sounds of water coming from her room. He strode over in a few steps, opened the door and walked in.

The room looked exactly the same as it had in the morning; the only difference was the light shining through the frosted glass and the sounds of water coming from the bathroom.

Mo Han sat on the bed, pulled off his tie and took off his blazer. He unbuttoned the first two buttons of his white shirt, took out his cuff-links and waited for the sounds of water to stop.

Xia Qingyi came out in her pajamas rubbing at her hair not long after. She got a shock and moved back a step when she saw Mo Han sitting upright on the bed.

“What are you going here?” She asked.

“Waiting for you,” Mo Han asked.

“What for?”

“To explain what happened last night and this morning.”

Xia Qingyi walked past him, wiping her hair as she walked towards the study table. She took her moisturizer, poured some out and applied it onto her face. “It’s complicated, where do you want me to start?”

Mo Han said, “Do it chronologically.”

Xia Qingyi smiled. “Then you’re making it difficult for me. Let me think, I’d probably even have to tell you about my previous life.”

“What? You got your memory back?” Mo Han stood up, turned around and looked at her.

“Not yet.” Xia Qingyi sighed. “But I’m almost there. At least, the truth is already out.”

She turned over, leaned against the table and looked at Mo Han as she continued to dry her hair. “To put it simply, I’m actually not Song Yuenian, I’m her older twin sister Song Nianmu.”

Mo Han furrowed his eyebrows. “Older twin sister?”

“Yeah. Han Liang could not get over my sister’s death when she passed away due to an accident. So when he met me that day, he wanted me to replace her.”

Mo Han muttered coldly. “What did I say initially? I said that he was a liar. What can I do if you don’t believe me?”

“He was forced to lie to me. He’s heartbroken over what happened to my sister.” Xia Qingyi remembered what he looked like in the cafe and blurted out.

“You’re still talking for him even now?” Mo Han looked at her disbelievingly.

“He didn’t do anything evil, nor did he harm me. He’s actually a pretty good person.”

“He did not harm you?” Mo Han was still unable to forget what Han Liang told him in the office about the nights they had spent together.

“Then why did you come back? Why not stay there?” Mo Han’s tone was icy, and Xia Qingyi immediately knew he was angry when she heard him.

“You don’t want me to come back?” Xia Qingyi asked him back.

“It’s your choice to come back here or not, I can’t control you. I have nothing to say even if you go back to F City now. This has never been your home after all, isn’t your home back there?” Mo Han said.