If the Deep Sea Forgets You

Standing beside her, Mo Han glanced at her and did not speak.

The man froze for a while after he saw Xia Qingyi’s identity card, forcing himself to raise the corners of his mouth into a smile and said, “Sorry, I probably recognized the wrong person.”

He looked at Xia Qingyi as he muttered to himself, “You two, really look alike. I should let you see her photo. But I was in a rush today and forgot to bring it along, I… have not seen her for a long time already, she disappeared at this place, I’ve been searching for her for a long time.”

Xia Qingyi said an apology to the man, told him that they should be going back soon, and then tugged at Mo Han’s hand. “Brother, let’s go home.”

Xia Qingyi did not look at that man again, she turned around and pulled Mo Han along as she walked forward.

That man looked at Xia Qingyi’s retreating back until it could not be seen anymore.

In the distance, Xia Qingyi actually felt very confused, an indescribable fear suddenly arising in her heart. She was not afraid of the man’s sudden appearance, what she was afraid of was the fact that she had no feelings towards the man.

When she saw him, her heartbeat felt the same as usual. She thought back to the man with his tearful face, and she felt no change in her emotions.

She had really forgotten every single thing from her past, which was why she could be this distant towards what had happened that day.

Xia Qingyi walked for a long time before she realized that Mo Han had unknowingly held onto her hand. He was driving at this moment, and was expressionlessly using his left hand to control the steering wheel while his right was gently holding onto Xia Qingyi’s hand.

Xia Qingyi took her hand back and looked out of the window. It was rare that she felt a moment of clarity.

“Why did you say that?” Mo Han asked after a long time.

“Then how else should I say it?”

“Don’t you want to know about your past?”

“No.” The street view outside went past slowly, the dim yellow streetlights turning the road into one long line. Xia Qingyi stared at it for a long time and said, “I don’t want to know how I nearly died at that time at all.”

“That person looked as though he had a very good relation with you in the past,” Mo Han said.

Xia Qingyi smiled grimly for a moment. “I don’t think so. When the hospital released the emergency medical notice seven times while I was unconscious at the hospital for a month, why didn’t they come and find me? If they wanted to find me, they only had to report me missing at the public security bureau and they’d have been able to find me using the hospital records. I think they probably treated me as dead.”

Mo Han looked at her stubborn back and wanted to reach his hand out to pat her. “What about your parents? Don’t you wish to know about them?”

Xia Qingyi’s eyes became blank, her voice lowered as though she was sighing. “I don’t know.”

“I think that it’s best if you understand more about the truth, understand more about what happened in the past before you decide.”

“Is the truth important? It’s already been so long.” Xia Qingyi mumbled to herself at the window.

“I don’t want you to regret it later,” Mo Han said.

“You’re thinking of letting me to reunite with them earlier, and only when you see me hug them until I cry then you’d be happy because you can get rid of me earlier, right? You’re sick of cleaning after me when I’m such a mess after all,” Xia Qingyi’s voice was cold and distant.

Mo Han’a hand on the steering wheel tightened, his mouth pursed and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Don’t worry, even if I don’t reunite with them, I wouldn’t pester you. You just have to say the word, and I will leave whenever you want,” Xia Qingyi’s tone was calm, and she only stared at the scenery constantly zooming past her outside, as though she was merely talking about what she had eaten in the morning.

Mo Han endured the impulse to stop the car at the roadside, his hand holding tightly onto the steering wheel. He swerved the car a little more when turning at the corner and swung Xia Qingyi onto the other side.

“You’ve been really good at talking lately, even talking over me when I’m the lawyer here. What shall I do? Shall I present a trophy for you to keep at home?” Mo Han said in the end.

Xia Qingyi snorted and did not know what to say, only lifting the corners of her mouth into a forced smile, though the corners of her eyes were wet.

“Xia Qingyi, remember this, don’t let me hear you say those words from your mouth for a second time!” Mo Han’s voice was even colder.

Xia Qingyi kept smiling, raising her head and trying to hold back the tears that were about to fall.

So there really was such a moment in this world where you could smile to the point of crying. During these kind of moments, there seemed to be no other way other than to forcefully smile to cover the sadness in her heart.

Smiling was the best tool to cover everything.