I Won’t Accept Your Regrets

Raymond leaned his head against the back of the chair and sighed.

But that didn't ease his seething feelings.

Ellie will leave the palace tomorrow. Then it's really over.

One word ‘over’ sent a wave of heat through his heart. Raymond didn't know who he was angry with.

His head ached sharply and he roughly unbuttoned the collar of his shirt.

Calmly looking at the light of the candle in the study, he remembered what Ellie had said yesterday.

"You never said you loved me. I feel like I’m your mother, who rushes with you and takes care of your every step."

Ellie's purple eyes looked at him as if she had already resigned herself to her position and calmly said:

"Everything is over."

Now she didn’t feel love for him. Ellie did say that this was the end for both of them.

He never thought this would happen, but now he couldn’t hold her back.

And he had no reason to keep her.

In fact, he wanted Ellie to be happy.

Even though it ended in divorce, Ellie was a friend who supported him over the years.

I just have to wish her happiness.

"Yes, that's a decent answer."

Raymond sat up straight, leaning back in his chair, and forced himself to collect his thoughts.

The entire empire already knew that the divorce papers had been sent to the temple. It need a little to wait for the consent of the temple.

This is a formal procedure that doesn’t take more than two days.

So if Ellie had a hard time staying in the palace, then there was no problem for her to move out today.

Raymond looked at Ellie's letter and her smooth handwriting.

"Tell the Empress in the palace that everything has already been done."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

When the assistant left the office, Raymond hid Ellie's letter deep in a drawer.

* * *

"Your Majesty, His Majesty has sent you a message."

When lunch had just finished, Helen entered the room with Raymond's message for me.

"What did His Majesty say?"

"He did everything according to the will of Her Majesty."

What I said yesterday seemed to completely overturn his mind.

Well, I hope I haven't hurt his pride.

I suddenly remembered the way he looked at me last night. His dark eyes were like the eyes of a wounded beast.

In the end, this relationship has brought nothing but scars on our souls.

"Your Majesty, would you like to prepare immediately for leaving?"

Helen's sudden question brought me back to reality.

I pushed aside thoughts of Raymond and replied:

"No, there is one place where I really want to look before I leave the palace."

I put on my raincoat and left the room.

I decided to walk from the imperial palace to the most inconspicuous small building nearby.

"I will go alone, and you wait here," I ordered my maids, who stood with me in front of the gates of the accursed old palace.

The tiny palace was known only as an extension to the imperial palace.

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Every time I visited this place, I was always alone, so Helen did not worry and stepped back with the other servants.

As usual, I pushed open the old gates of the palace.

The sound of the door sounded like the grinding of nails on a poorly oiled board.

The palace, even without a name.

To be honest, it was just a little mansion called a palace, but this was the place where I had the most memories.

It was there that Raymond lived with his mother during the reign of the former crown prince and late emperor.

As a child, I learned that he was a prince hiding behind a pillar at the door of the palace.

Since then, I went to the imperial palace to see him when he needed to be here with the courtiers, and not uproot the weeds in the courtyard.

At the time, Raymond's mom baked cookies for me and we drank tea.

Raymond's mom had regular brown hair and brown eyes. She had the usual appearance that every other woman in the empire had, but I will never forget her face until I die.

When I saw the mansion, I said her name, which popped up in my head.

"Lady Loaz…"

"Today I made a sweet tea that I thought our young Ellie would love.”

"Ellie is so pretty. I can't help smiling when I see her.”

She always smiled happily at me and was always polite to me, which distinguished Lady Loaz from other adult aristocrats.

She gave birth to a prince for the emperor overnight, but the emperor refused to recognize her as a concubine because she was of poor background.

So she was the mother of the prince, but she remained a servant.

I want to hear Lady Loaz affectionately calling my name again. At least one time.

Even when we were just the two of us, she always tried to treat me with courtesy and care.

She not only observed etiquette in front of me, but also set an example for her child, Raymond.

As if she had learned this discipline herself…

Commoners don’t know etiquette, they are taught only under the auspices of some aristocrat. That is why sometimes the nobility calls them barbarians or something else rude.

She was such a kind person that she believed in the emperor and never wished harm to the first prince, who was the heir to the empire.

It was very unfortunate, but Raymond and I could do nothing about her death.

At first, the emperor considered Lady Loaz to be his mistake, and the crown prince wanted to trample Raymond, who gradually overshadowed his talents in swordsmanship and study.

But no matter how talented Raymond was, the emperor didn’t recognize him as his son, he always took the side of the crown prince.

Thus, Lady Loaz's trial went straight to execution.

I remembered that terrible feeling that swept me from head to toe that day.

The screams of Raymond sounded in his ears as he wept over his mother's clothes.

Years have passed, but Raymond and I have not yet forgotten our sorrow.

Raymond doesn't come to this place anymore.

After the death of Lady Loaz, the emperor closed the doors of this building, ordering Raymond to remain in another palace, located near the main imperial palace.

Although the emperor closed it, Raymond still never visited the palace after his mother's death.

He became emperor and restored the disgraced honor of his mother, but this palace wasn’t rebuilt, but remained closed.

I knew that he didn’t want to touch this place, so I didn’t say anything either.

So this palace was forgotten in the memory of everyone.

But I remembered it very well.

Therefore, after I entered the imperial palace as empress, I sometimes came here without Raymond's knowledge.

To soothe Lady Loaz's soul, I planted flowers and tended trees that held memories of both Loaz and little Raymond.

As always, I planted an elond that only blooms in the garden of the imperial palace.

Elond means pure, he seemed to resemble Lady Loaz, so I deliberately brought this flower every time.

I prayed for Lady Loaz and walked to the back of the mansion.

"Ray, what is this tree? Why is Ray's name engraved here?"

"This tree was planted by my mother when I was born, wishing me health. If it gets sick, then I'll get sick. My mother always cares for it with all her heart."

"Oh… well, then in the future I will help Lady Loaz take good care of it, I hate it when Ray is sick."

Raymond, the boy with a proud, happy smile, and the man I stood next to, appeared and disappeared in front of me like a fantasy.

When the memory of childhood, when we laughed at each other, disappeared, a cold wind passed through me.

I put my hand on a thick tree. Soon, the hands began to shine brightly, and the trees became more alive.

The ability to breathe life into plants. It was my power that only a few knew about.

My ability to revive and grow dead plants was close to spiritualism, but it was slightly different from spiritualism, so as not to use it as a contract, like a spiritual one.

Anyway, I had a mysterious blessing, and I hid it.

This ability, like magic and spirits, would be of great help in raising my position in the empire, but I was already an empress, so this wasn’t necessary.

Also my power was not so outstanding.

However, that was enough to save the dead tree.

"You were one of the reasons why I couldn’t leave this palace."

I was really worried that Raymond would get hurt if this tree died.

The condition of the tree was dire after the death of Lady Loaz, but now the tree is growing higher in the sky to regain its vitality.