I Wish You Were Never Reborn

Yan Xue didn’t see Miss Ansari at school on Thursday. Maybe she was sick? Or maybe she took the day off to hang out with--

Pff. Whatever.

Later that day, she did see Tyvan, though. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to, reAL bAd.

She didn’t. Even just thinking of walking up to him made her chest tight with... guilt or embarrassment or something. So she avoided him by hiding in the common room with Yeonha.

--who was also hiding.

For someone so permanently attached to random armchairs and couches (and sometimes rugs,) she was surprisingly nimble when it came to avoiding her cleaning duties.

Yeonha held out her fist with her thumb up. “In this together.”

“Battle-buddies?” Shay suggested.

“Mm,” Yeonha nodded.

Thursday was clean-everything day, so Raia inevitably came looking for them. And... she inevitably found them, too.

She and Yeonha got back to cleaning, immediately.

Working had more or less returned to normal, but her head was still in a bad place. She’d been miserable ever since Tyvan scolded her at the construction site.

And nothing would change unless she did something about it.

She stopped avoiding Heidi. That wasn’t too hard. She got some advice and much needed sweetness out of that.

She talked to Yeonha, too. The mischievous and strangely thirsty maid didn’t have any advice. However, she did provide an honest hug and suggested “Tyvan wants you for your body.” That was her unique way of cheering her up. Also, it was probably a joke. (And as embarrassing as it was, it did raise her self-esteem a little.)

After a lot of thinking, Shay figured the first thing she had to do was apologize.

--to Miss Ansari, maybe.

--to Tyvan, especially.

Ugh.

She didn’t have anything nice to say to Miss Ansari, though.

But Tyvan... she just didn’t have the courage to face him.

She wasn’t even upset, anymore-- (not at him, anyway.) She missed him... talking to him, eating with him... just being around him. It hurt so much to see him and feel so guilty, she couldn’t meet his sparkling, hazel gaze.

It was so weird, feeling... inferior for being human.

It seemed like no one in ❴The Kingdom❵ was human.

She... did have a way to make up for it, though-- something to break out of that useless feeling. Just... it was something she wouldn’t have considered before.

Suddenly, she heard a thump behind her.

Yeonha?

Oh, no! Yeonha!

Shay cradled the fallen maid in her arms. (Oof, she was heavier than she looked.)

“Yeonha! You can’t do this. I need you!”

Yeonha cupped her hand on Shay’s cheek, “Can’t... go on. So... tired.”

Shay lowered her head and spoke in her best historical K-Drama voice. “You mustn’t fall here. Our duty is not yet finished!”

The West and South Dorms still had to be done. If she did them by herself, she’d be too exhausted to study.

Yeonha looked out the open door, out toward the gardens. “So... beautiful.”

“Don’t you remember our promise?!” Shay fake-shouted, “Once we’ve cleaned all the dorms, we were going to steal the ice cream out of the office fridge.”

Yeonha winced in ‘pain’, her body shuddering, “Shay... Sorry.”

“Are you giving up?” Shay grit her teeth, “Are you really going to leave me alone?”

If she was really giving up, she was going to get smacked.

“Freezer... only... one pint,” Yeonha whispered. She extended her finger, pressing it against Shay’s cheek. “Yours.”

“Yeonha, no. We-- we can share it!” Shay said. “We’re battle-buddies! No! We’re-- we’re friends...”

A soft and delicate smile crossed Yeonha’s lips.

“So I have... one friend.” She closed her eyes. “Beiiiighhh~”

(That was probably supposed to be a dying noise.)

Shay melodramatically fake-screamed to the ceiling, “Yeonhaaaaaa!!!”

“Hey! Are you guys playing?” Bishop peeked his head in near the top of the door.

Shay real-screamed.

Then she felt stupid.

Seeing a head floating near the top of the doorway was surprising. But she also knew Bishop was working nearby, so she should have expected his very-tall-guy presence.

“I wanna play too!” Bishop said.

But before he could join them, he was steadily pushed aside by a certain, naggy goth. Yellow rubber gloves. Quick bun. Shorts and a black band t-shirt. Shay felt a little guilty for messing around while Raia was actually working.

“PC, Yeonha,” Raia said. “Get back to work.”

Shay pointed down to the fallen maid girl, “Yeonha needs a ress.”

“Should I give her mouth-to-mouth?” Bishop suggested.

A dead but vigorously nodding Yeonha seemed to be okay with the idea.

Raia crossed her arms and glared, “If you do CPR, you’d better make sure you crack her ribs.”

A dead but vigorously shaking-her-head Yeonha seemed to not be okay with that.

“For what it’s worth,” Raia sighed, “I was planning to head over to the corner store right now? I’ll pick up some ice cream.”

“Ice cream!” Bishop cheered.

Yeonha rose from the dead, raising both her arms in victory.

Shay sighed but she managed a tired smile.

Ice cream did sound pretty good.

As many worries as she had on her mind, she could deal with her personal issues on Friday.

Raia took off her gloves, stuffing them in Bishop’s back pocket.

“Shay,” she said. “Come with me.”

Shay looked around warily-- which was dumb, because Raia was definitely talking to her.

It was weird, though. Buying ice cream wasn’t exactly a two-person job. Even if she was buying enough for Tyvan, too, she could still carry grocery bags in both hands. (For whatever reason, Tyvan ate only as much ice cream as a regular person.)

“We don’t have all night,” Raia snapped.

Only then did Shay take off her gloves and apron and hurry to follow.

Raia walked ahead in the direction of the parking lot. She was in a hurry-- even more than when they were late to Tyvan’s meeting with the Arrow Group. Shay had to jog to keep up.

“Raia? Is... something wrong?”

“Yeah,” Raia said. “There is.”

She clenched her teeth and kept walking.

A hundred possibilities spun in Shay’s head-- all of them horrible.

Was she about to get fired?

Did it have something to do with cleaning?

Did Rook’s condition get worse? Raia didn’t seem to like him, but maybe she was the tsundere-type?

Or maybe... they were going to have a one-on-one duel with Raia demanding that she be the only one allowed to stay by Tyvan’s side? (But, if that was the case, who was Raia talking to on the phone that one time?)

Oh! Or maybe Raia was going to talk to her about those cold Dragon Burgers she fed Tyvan the other day?

Once they got to the parking lot, Raia turned around, wearing an ugly grimace. It looked almost scary with the way the old, yellowing streetlights cast shadows on her face.

“Shay... can you fight?”

Shay tilted her head. Were they really going to duel for Tyvan’s love? That wasn’t even in her top three guesses.

“I... know a little bit of Tae Kwon Do.”

“Huh? Aren’t you Chinese?”

“The gong fu classes were expensive, okay?”

Raia sighed and shook her head, “Are you any good?”

“First-degree black belt,” Shay admitted proudly.

Raia nodded, “Okay! ...Okay.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Shay. Hit me.”

Shay blinked her eyes, not really certain of what she’d just heard.

“Sorry, what?”

“Prove that you can fight,” Raia said. “Or at least prove that you can defend yourself.”

“Raia, what’s going on?”

“Just do it!” Raia shouted, “Don’t ask questions. If you’re serious about being part of ❴The Kingdom❵, then follow orders!”

Shay gulped.

She didn’t understand.

She stood and stared.

And... she watched... Raia’s hand come at her from the side.

Pap! The slap echoed across the parking lot as Shay turned her head with the force.

The inside of her ears felt weird. Her cheek stung. A faint echoey sound rang in her skull.

What... was going on?

She felt tears brim at her eyes-- maybe from the pain... maybe from the embarrassment.

--or maybe it was from all the stress and sleeplessness piling and piling so high she barely knew what to do with herself.

But still... Raia was--

No-- she thought of Raia as a friend.

“Raia... I...”

Raia raised her chin, arrogant and certain, “Fight me. Or pack your shit and leave Elysium.”

Shay took a shaky breath, “Wh-what? What are you saying?”

Raia narrowed her eyes... “I’m saying I have full authority to evict you.”

Shay was confused. Raia didn’t have that authority. But... she worked for Tyvan.

Tyvan was trying to kick her out.

And-- and he didn’t even come to see her personally. Instead, he sent his secretary? And... with a bullshit challenge?

She couldn’t possibly win against someone who wasn’t human!

Shay put strength into her voice, “I’m not going to fight you, Raia.”

For a moment, Raia’s gaze softened. But then she put up her arms in a fighting stance.

She didn’t say anything.

Shay stood where she was. Her cheek still stung. The cogs in her brain turned like they were rusted over and clodded by mud.

Raia wasn’t acting normally. She seemed upset-- but her anger didn’t seem directed at her.

Where was Tyvan? Was he really the one who wanted them to fight?

Shay tossed her bag away... and she lowered her body.

Left fist forward. Right fist back.

“Who put you up to this?”

A pained grimace crossed Raia’s face, “I can’t tell you.” She started circling clockwise.

Shay adjusted her body, keeping her fist out and ready for attack. “Will you tell me when I win?”

“If.”

Raia stepped in with a wide kick. Shay stepped back to dodge, then forward again to launch a high kick.

The taller woman blocked, dancing backward. She shook her left arm.

“Raia, I don’t want to hurt you,” Shay said.

Oh, that got a reaction.

Raia charged.

It was so fast that Shay naturally jabbed her in the face. And she panicked. Because she was stupid.

Raia smashed a hook into Shay’s side followed by a palm-smack to her nose.

Shay stumbled back, almost falling on her butt.

“Stop hesitating,” Raia growled. “Where’s the annoying bitch who keeps coming to the office, whining about how much she misses Tyvan?”

Shay sniffed. Her nose was bleeding, “You’ll find her when you look into a mirror.”

Three quick forward steps. Round kick at Raia’s side.

Raia blocked with her elbow, returning a low kick.

Shay checked it with her shin. It hurt... a lot.

Pain slowing her reflexes, she took a punch straight to her left boob.

Physical pain. Emotional pain.

Legs shaky. Tears in her eyes.

A cutting sense of betrayal. The crushing weight of depression.

Shay tried to attack again, not even remotely thinking. Raia disappeared in a puff of smoke. Her shadowy kick appeared out of nowhere, trailed by shadow.

That wasn’t something Shay could block. It was too fast. And Raia kicked too hard. Shay fell sideways, onto the asphalt, catching herself one hand and her elbow. She’d skinned her palm. Her left thigh throbbed with pain and numbness.

She couldn’t win.

How could she? She was only human...

“Shay,” Raia said quietly, “don’t tell me you’re done.”

Shay slowly got to her feet. Her cheek still hurt. Lots of other things, too-- her pride, most of all.

She didn’t get back into her fighting stance. She stared at the ground, favoring her hurt leg.

Raia dropped her guard. “Is that all? Are you really gonna give up here?”

Shay took a deep breath.

She gulped.

She’d tried so hard...

What was it all even for?

Did she even deserve all the nice things she had?

Her thoughts weren’t making sense, so mixed up with feeling hurt and helpless and--

Useless.

She was useless.

She shook her head. She sniffed up her blood and snot.

And... she turned away, heading back to her room.