I Will Save the Villain

How much did the Kraej Company pay in taxes last year? Zero. In fact, less than zero because they got millions of credits from the government in the form of tax incentives.

—Excerpt from a pamphlet circulated by the radical group The Black Sheep

Asteria

I hadn’t finished my mission from the goddess yet, but I had time to spend one last day with Seraphiel.

Summer was just around the corner, and it was a great day to go to Kraej City’s newest theme park, AlienLand. Ravn’s family was one of the investors behind AlienLand, so he’d given us free tickets. Ravn, Katja, Oren, Sofia, Seraphiel, and I entered as a group but soon split into pairs.

AlienLand was at the outskirts of the city, on reclaimed land that had once been a swamp. It was a one-hour bus ride from East Thuesen. Though it was smaller than Universal Studios Singapore back on Earth, it had a lot to offer.

There were seven themed sections: Main Street, Alien Adventure Mall, Future Food Alley, Tomorrow Territory, Tentacle Town, Space Thrillers, Sci-Fi Land, and Adventure World. Everything was futuristic or alien-themed with plenty of blob, slime, robot, machine, spaceship, and tentacle decorations on display. Even the streets were painted to look like a giant circuit board.

The air was full of the sound of children’s laughter and the ka-ching of cash registers as people emptied their wallets to buy AlienLand T-shirts, headbands, backpacks, and other theme park merchandise. I’d been so hyped on my first day of leisure after completing the hero’s quest that I’d practically skipped inside the park.

Unfortunately, I’d stupidly miscalculated something important.

“My goodness, I should’ve realized!” I said.

“I thought you knew,” said Seraphiel.

“No, I didn’t think about that,” I said.

The problem? Seraphiel was too big to fit into any of the rides.

“Well, of course, they're not going to build EL-sized seats. There aren’t many ELs around, after all,” said Seraphiel.

“That makes sense,” I said. “I guess I was too excited to think about that because I’ve never been to a theme park.”

In Singapore, I’d taken for granted the fact that I could go to theme parks several times a year. It was different in Verden. Lieceni was too bucolic to have anything like a theme park, and even if it had, I didn’t have money to buy a ticket. Once I’d gone to Kraej City, I had the money, but not the time. Until now, that is.

“It’s fine. Enjoy yourself. I don’t mind waiting for you if you want to go on some rides,” said Seraphiel.

He was wearing blue jeans and black sneakers. I was in white sneakers and blue shorts. We were wearing identical AlienLand T-shirts emblazoned with the theme park’s mascot, Mr. Alien, a cute little golden slime with blue eyes and five “friendly” tentacles. Sadly, I was the only one wearing a Mr. Alien headpiece, a tacky plastic silver-painted headband with two glitter balls on spring antennas.

We’d caused quite a stir when we entered the park's massive red gates. Quite a few people stared daggers at my back. SxU fangirls? Or SxS shippers?

“Well…” I really wanted to go on the park’s most popular ride, Tentacle Mountain, an exciting hybrid of roller coaster and water flume that wound its way through a blue and silver alien mountain. The ride culminated in a fifty-foot drop into a splash pool. I’d even prepared an extra set of clothes to change into afterward in case I got really wet.

“Go ahead,” said Seraphiel.

“Okay, if you’re sure!” I said.

Seraphiel smiled down at me. He was in a great mood, and so was I. He looked especially young and carefree today with his long hair tied up in a high ponytail. Wherever we went, people turned their heads to look at him. Many of them sneakily took pictures of us. I was weirded out at first, but Seraphiel was used to it. I guess I’ll have to get used to it myself.

The ride attendant tried to wave us through, but we preferred to stand in line with the rest of the crowd. When it was time for me to board the ride, I handed my bag to Seraphiel. “Hang on to this, please.”

Wave Mountain was great, and the splash at the end was extremely satisfying. I was soaked, of course, but that was part of the fun. Dripping wet, I half-ran and half-walked to Seraphiel. “That was fun!”

“You’d better change,” said Seraphiel as he handed me back my bag.

“I should’ve brought a towel with me!” I said as we walked to the nearest ladies’ room.

There were more than a dozen other women who were headed the same way, wringing their wet clothes and hair just like me. Almost all of them gave me the once-over when they saw who I was with.

Thankfully, the people here were very well-behaved compared to fans on Earth. It must be because of the monster wave. Ever since that time, the city people’s respect for the ELs had increased to almost idolatrous levels. Many of them giggled and pointed at us, but none of them approached, perhaps because Seraphiel was considered the scariest of the ELs. Wherever we went, crowds automatically parted for Seraphiel, and people kept at a certain distance away from us.

Once inside the women's facilities, I quickly changed into the extra set of clothes I’d packed. Unfortunately, I hadn’t thought that my underwear would get wet, so I hadn’t brought a spare bra.

“Oh dear, oh dear!” I said as I looked at myself in the mirror. My T-shirt wasn’t especially thin, but if one looked closely, the outline of my nipples could be seen through the fabric. I didn’t want to put my wet bra back on, so I’d have to find another solution.

I went to the door, opened it a little bit, and yelled through the opening, “Ely!”

Seraphiel, who had been waiting some distance away, walked up the ladies’ room and said, “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“I’m fine. Could you please go and buy me a T-shirt?” I spoke through the partially open door, hiding my body behind it.

“I thought you said you had a spare.”

“I do, but I want another one.”

“Why?”

“Ugh, because I don’t want to put my wet bra on, so I need one more layer to cover myself.”

“Oh?” With a mischievous look on his face, Seraphiel tried to open the door further. “Show me.”

“Pervert! Stop trying to look inside the ladies’ room!” I said.

The other women inside started whispering and laughing when they saw what was happening.

“That’s Seraph, isn’t it?” said a teenager in a stage whisper.

“He’s so much taller and scarier-looking in person!” said her companion.

“Girl, let him in, we don’t mind,” said an elderly woman with grey hair.

“Sorry, ladies,” I apologized to the people inside. “We’re just joking.”

Seraphiel stopped trying to open the door. “Alright, I’ll get a T-shirt for you.”

“Thank you.” I closed the door and rolled my eyes at the other women. “Men!”

They just laughed at me.