I Will Save the Villain

Before the Kraej formed their professional army, monster hunters from nearby towns would band together to defeat A-class monsters, fostering a bond of deep friendship between communities.

—Monster Hunter Weekly, vol. 89, no. 27

Asteria

I held my nose while walking to the table and said, “You guys showered, right? I don’t wanna have breakfast with three stinky men!”

Sariel scowled at me while the other two smiled. The Commanders were in their uniforms, ready to go to work. Seraphiel was wearing an apron on top of his uniform as he cooked breakfast.

“Eat your pancakes,” said Seraphiel as he flipped the last pancake onto a plate which he placed in front of me. I usually had salad for breakfast, but he must have thought I wanted a special treat.

I used the portable step stool to climb on the special chair that Seraphiel had ordered for me. Everything in his apartment was EL-sized, so all of his old furniture was too tall for regular-sized humans like me. He’d been forced to buy new Asteria-sized stuff to accommodate my needs. Sariel thought the step stool was hilarious, but he didn’t crack a joke this time.

Uriel and Seraphiel were eating steak while Sariel was having ham and eggs. I drizzled honey over the pancakes before eating them. The three big men could put away enormous amounts of food. I watched them neatly and efficiently devour quantities of meat that would feed a family of four for a week.

“Stop pushing the food around and eat it,” said Seraphiel to me.

“I’m finished. You gave me too much,” I said.

“You’re done? Then don’t you have something to tell Seraphiel?” said Sariel. Leaning back on his chair, he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Nope,” I said.

Uriel nodded at Sariel as though giving him the go-ahead.

“Before you say anything…” I lifted a hand in warning to stop Sariel from saying anything. With my index finger, I slashed a line diagonally across the air as though cutting through space.

Uriel gasped, and Sariel almost fell off his chair. Seraphiel’s only reaction was a slight widening of his eyes.

What they didn’t know was that this was a fake special effect. I didn’t really cut through space. I merely used some chibis to make a dark shadow in the air. A chibi was hiding inside the darkness with the item. Cutting through space for real would take too much anima.

The three ELs watched warily as I reached into the fake tear in space and took out a silvery knife. The cut closed, and Sariel sighed in relief. I showed them the edge of the knife which glittered with an uncanny starry light.

“Gentlemen, the store is now closed,” I said.

“What store?” Sariel exchanged confused looks with the others.

“No longer will I sell you priceless artifacts and answers to your questions for mere credits. From now on you will have to pay for your glimpses into the goddess’ Sacred Mystery the traditional way!” I brandished the knife at them.

“Stop waving the knife at me, girlie,” said Sariel. “What do you mean by ‘the traditional way?’”

I put the knife down on the table and solemnly, “Think. When the first Vedaek shaman, Blindr, desired wisdom from the goddess, what did he do?”

“He sacrificed one of his eyes,” said Seraphiel.

“Correct. Throughout the ages, shamans and heroes have caught glimpses of holy arcana through sacrificing body parts. Forni cut off his swordhand. Geldnir castrated himself. If any of you want more answers than I have already given, then…” I tapped the knife.

“You can’t be serious!” Sariel stared at the knife in horror.

“I call this knife ‘The Goddess’ Embrace,’” I said. The truth was that this knife was a special item that the goddess had given me. It could change size from a microscopic dot to dagger size. That was how the chibi had been able to hide it. If the knife was plunged into someone’s heart, it would put that body into a state of stasis for a time. “Money will no longer do. If you want real knowledge into the inner workings of the Sacred Mystery, take this knife, cut off a body part, and pray to the goddess to grant you wisdom.”

I offered the knife to them but, as expected, no one took it. I smirked at Sariel. Not so mouthy now, was he?

“What is this about?” asked Seraphiel. His brow was slightly furrowed and his tone of voice was icy.

Meekly, I handed him Sariel and Uriel’s note.

“Who is-” said Seraphiel.

I coughed and tapped the Goddess’ Embrace.

Piqued, Seraphiel cast a fire spell that burned the note to ashes.

“You’re cute when you pout, sweetie,” I said. “But matters regarding my mission from the goddess are none of your business. Please ignore anything you might find out regarding the people I’m befriending, okay?”

“Ignore it? I thought you said you were going to need our help,” said Seraphiel.

“Yes, I’ll be counting on you to help, but only when I ask for it. Otherwise, please act as you normally would,” I said.

“I would appreciate it if you would explain just a little bit more about what you expect from us,” said Uriel.

“Okay, well, you guys should realize that I’m stressed because I have to keep my eye on quite a number of people.” I sighed. “Don’t assume that because I spent some time with someone that they are the hero. Just because I spent three days as Magnus’ guest doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s the hero-”

“Magnus fucking Kraej is the hero?!” Sariel sprang up from his chair and started pacing to and fro. “You’ve got to be kidding me! I can’t be the hero, but that rich pretty boy-”

“Ahem. Please stay calm, Sariel. You know, a lot of the ancient heroes were princes, but heroes can be ordinary people. It could be the doorman in your building.”

“My doorman is a woman,” said Sariel.

“Women can be heroes,” I said. “Now, what I need is for you guys to act as you normally would. No sneaking around spying on people. No singling out ELs or cadets for ‘special’ missions unless I say so. I need things to develop as they would naturally.”

Although I’d informed the three ELs about my divine mission, there were limits to what they could be told. The ban on my telling them about the chibis was an example. As for the hero, it was crucial that they not interfere without my say-so, or else the goddess’ Hero System might punish them severely.

I shouldn’t forget that they were the villains in the goddess’ prophecy.

“Is it Israfel?” asked Uriel suddenly. “You’ve been spending time with him, too.”

“Oh, you would love it if your protégé was the hero, wouldn’t you?” said Sariel.

“He’s powerful for an A-class and he’s got the leadership abilities for it. The men like him,” said Uriel.

“He hasn’t got brains for it!” said Sariel.

I looked at the clock. “You guys have to go to work in a few minutes. Stay cool, okay? Don’t make any waves and keep to your normal routine, please.”

“...” Seraphiel didn’t look convinced.

“Ely! Why are you so mean to me? I can’t believe how stubborn you are!” I said.

“Mean? I would never be mean to you,” said Seraphiel. His brow furrowed.

“Lies! You made me cry just yesterday, you big meanie!” I’d managed to squeeze out a tear or two last night when I was begging him to not go after the Lifers. He and Uriel seemed to have calmed down this morning. That was great because I might need to work with Magnus in the future. The hero would need that submarine and who knows what else.

“No…” said Seraphiel. He looked down at his feet and heaved a sigh.

“Goodness gracious!” Sariel mockingly placed the back of his hand on his forehead and pretended to be about to faint. “It’s a lovers’ quarrel.”

Uriel was pulling him towards the door when I stopped them.

“Wait. You guys all have to promise me you won’t do anything to anyone you think could be the hero. Act normal!”

“Alright, I promise,” said Uriel.

“Fine. I don’t care who the hero is anyway,” said Sariel.

“...” Seraphiel was being stubborn again.

Uriel shook his head wearily, and Sariel gave Seraphiel a worried look.

“Ely... you do realize that if the hero can’t finish his quest, I’ll have to personally step in and battle the Iah spawn directly, right?” I said.

“Unacceptable!” said Seraphiel. He grabbed me by the shoulders then, remembering that touching made me feel nauseous, let me go.

Patting Seraphiel on the arm, I said, “It would be dangerous. I’m the only one in the whole world who can cure the Iah virus, so I’m reluctant to risk myself.”

“Very well, I promise I won’t interfere with the hero,” said Seraphiel.

“Finally!” I said. Standing on tiptoe, I pulled Seraphiel’s head down and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Now be a good Commander and do your work properly! See you tonight.”

“Honey, give me a kiss, too.” Sariel opened his arms wide, and I moved towards him as though to comply, but Uriel and Seraphiel each took an arm and dragged him to the door. “Be a good little angel and polish your knife. I’ll see you tonight.”

Sariel was the type who liked to have the last word.