I Will Live As An Actor

Chapter 92

Slump.

There is a rule that every worker knows.

It’s not Murphy’s law, nor the law of resistance. 

It’s the 3.6.9 rule. 

It means that every three months, six months, or nine years, you feel the urge to quit your job because of the repetitive work and the complicated interpersonal relationships. 

The same goes for writers.

-You have to be careful when things are going well, because a slump can sneak up on you and tie up your brain. You guys wouldn’t understand what I’m talking about. You can’t even think of a simple sentence. It’s like your mind is a blank sheet of paper. How quickly you overcome it is the crossroads between becoming a true master or not.

I didn’t understand the words of the king writer in the past. 

Of course, I was his assistant writer number one, working hard under him. 

Like clearing a mission in a game, I wrote several pages of script a day based on the scenario he gave me.

Back then, I enjoyed writing even on weekends. Sometimes, when an actor on the screen read the lines I wrote, I felt a thrill running through my body as if I had received a testimony. But.

“Ugh.”

How did this happen? Writer Choi Eun-sook screamed, clutching her hair. 

In fact, everyone thought that Choi Eun-sook had taken a sabbatical because she was full. 

And why not? She had hit five consecutive home runs. Starting with her debut work, she had set five consecutive drama hit records.

Everything she wrote was a hit, and she was even called a ratings maker in the broadcasting industry.

But she was clearly in a slump, struggling. It was as if someone had turned off the switch, and everything was dark in front of her eyes. 

And now, even reading the text was uncomfortable, as if she had a sore throat. 

This was a big problem.

“Get a grip, Choi Eun-sook―!”

Choi Eun-sook recalled the conversation she had with a famous PD a few days ago.

-Impossible.

-No, why are you cutting me off so quickly, writer Choi? Since when did you become so stubborn? I was a huge fan of Choi Kang-gondu. This is definitely possible, tell me again. How much did I love the works of writer Choi Kang-gondu…

-Ah, stop it! Stop teasing me with my pen name. I used that when I was a college student with a lot of sensitivity. Back then, Hitele was popular, you know. And no matter how young I was when I wrote that work, it’s still my baby. You want me to put my baby in there, when MBS is treating the historical drama like an ugly duckling? Even the cat that steals rice from the cafeteria knows that. Which mother would push her child to the edge?

Well, it was a rough draft that I wrote in college, but it was still a trace that she left. Drama writers often say that they give birth every time they write a work.

It’s because they spend more time with the characters in the script than the director or the main actors. She didn’t want to entrust her child to someone who ignored it. And the casting was not even decided yet.

-Will Young-guk star in it?

-Undecided, but we still need some leverage to negotiate. First of all, the first thing is the script written by writer Choi, and the second thing is the appearance fee.

-Wait a minute, the script is one thing, but how are you going to handle the appearance fee? I heard that the historical drama that MBS is preparing is 40 episodes long. Do you know how much Young-guk’s worth is? You’re delusional if you think of him as an old child actor. He’s the hottest person in the broadcasting industry right now.

-Let’s split it in half.

-What are you talking about?

-Let’s make it 20 episodes instead of 40. Writer Choi’s original was a short story anyway. There’s no point in stretching it with trivial stories. It will only tarnish the original. And if we divide the production cost that was originally planned for 40 episodes into 20 episodes, we can increase the quality of each episode. I’ll do whatever I can to get Young-guk’s appearance fee.

That’s nonsense. 

Do you know how the broadcasting station arranges the lineup by drawing lots? 

The most important thing in the pre-production stage is the drama episode scheduling.

It’s not something that you can flip over like a pancake. And the appearance fee issue is something that the upper management of the broadcasting station is very careful about. Once you decide, you can’t go back. That’s why.

-What if it doesn’t work?

-I’ll resign or something.

-What?!

I finally succumbed to Yoo Myung-han’s pressure. 

Choi Eun-sook joined his dream team like a snake over the wall. But she had no regrets. Her dried-up creative desire sprang up again. 

She clenched her fist as she looked at the ‘Yeonsan, The King’s Secret’ that she had written ten years ago.

“My baby, mommy will write you well. Trust me, okay?”

At that moment, her mother rushed into her room after hearing Choi Eun-sook’s scream and clicked her tongue.

“Our Eun-sook has gone crazy again. Now she’s talking to a book!”

****

On the rooftop of MBS broadcasting station.

“It’s about time that bastard Yoo Myung-han got a taste of his own medicine. And what’s this, he’s considering Jang Young-guk for the lead role? Even a passing dog would laugh at that. He’s counting his chickens before they hatch, when the one who’s giving him the rice cake doesn’t even have him in mind.”

“That’s what I’m saying. Why did he act so lowly at SBC? As if shaking up the theater scene wasn’t enough, he’s also breaking new records with his R-rated movie. Seven million, seven million. That’s not some nobody’s dog’s name, you know. He’s not the same Jang Young-guk as before. Yoo Myung-han is living in the past and underestimating Jang Young-guk. I’ve never seen a top actor star in a historical drama in my life.”

“Cha PD, you’re lucky. Your work lineup for the second half of the year overlaps with his, right? You’re the first one among us to become a CP by sheer luck, aren’t you?”

“Why are you saying that, I’ve always drawn better pictures than Yoo Myung-han. I just didn’t have any luck with my works until now. Yoo Myung-han has used up all his luck. That’s how this industry is. When you get a boost, you go all out and act like you’re something, but then you end up falling flat on your face.”

A group of veteran PDs from MBS Drama Department are gathered together, chatting away.

As the smoke from their cigarettes fills the air, their lips are curled up in smiles. They feel relieved and satisfied, having successfully passed the challenge of scheduling a historical drama that was considered a flop.

“One of them said that in the director’s office, remember? He asked if he could act like those bastards outside and have a thick skin. That was all for us to hear. Social life is like that, you have to be flexible and follow the line, and reach out when you can. But that kid is too upright. He doesn’t know that straight bamboos are easier to break.”

The mid-level producers didn’t hate Yoo Myung-han from the start. When he was an assistant director, they acknowledged his skills and competed with each other to recruit him. But ever since he became a producer himself and kept making hit shows, they felt both fear and jealousy towards him.

“Speaking of which, they’re having another big fight in the director’s office right now.”

“Our director is going bald before his retirement. I feel sorry for him.”

The mid-level producers said that while smoking their cigarettes with gusto.

***

“Director!”

Kim Won-seok, the head of MBS drama department, sighed.

“Myungha, I honestly don’t know how you managed to persuade Choi, the writer. That alone is amazing, I admit. Choi is known as a ratings machine at our MBS. But how are you going to cast Jang Young-guk here? This is not a special project we are preparing, it’s a historical drama, a historical drama.”

“That’s why you need to work harder, Director.”

“That’s easier said than done. Do you know how much it costs to shoot a historical drama? It’s obvious that it will be a long series, and Jang Young-guk’s fee will eat up our MBS drama department’s budget for a year. It will be gone. Even if the historical drama fees are low, Jang Young-guk is too expensive.”

Kim Won-seok’s eyes widened as he carefully examined the proposal that Yoo Myung-han handed him. It was no ordinary historical drama. The original ’s author was Choi Eun-sook, the ratings machine. He wondered how Yoo Myung-han had managed to persuade her.

“Wait a minute, 20 episodes? Are you sure you’ve discussed this with Choi?”

“I made it clear to her from the start that we’re not going for a long series. She seemed fine with it. She’s a short story historical writer, after all. She doesn’t like to drag things out with unnecessary details.”

Historical dramas are usually long and span multiple seasons. 

This comes with a downside: the cost of hiring the main actors. 

Not to mention the construction of the sets and the hiring of many extras and supporting roles. 

As a result, the actors’ salaries naturally decreased. 

That’s when the famous director threw a curveball.

“We’re not going to make it long. We’re aiming for 20 episodes.”

“What?”

“Come on, you know the higher-ups think we’re wasting our time with this historical drama. If we do it, we might not get good results. If we don’t, we’ll fall behind KBS. Here, take a look at the proposal.”

“Do you really think the higher-ups will let you do this? If you turn this historical drama into a 20-episode series, it will mess up the entire schedule for next year.”

“I guarantee you it will be a hit. You won’t even think about next year’s lineup.”

Kim Won-seok licked his dry lips. A 20-episode series would make a difference. It was half the length of a typical historical drama with over 50 episodes. But that didn’t mean he could make a decision right away. Even as the head of the drama department, he couldn’t decide on the number of episodes by himself.

Not to mention, he had to settle the casting fee issue if he wanted to hire Jang Young-guk. 

He wasn’t even confirmed yet, but Yu Myung-han insisted that they had to set a benchmark. 

The actor’s fee was a sensitive matter that involved his pride.

I’m a famous actor, running at the top of the stock market in the broadcasting, film, and advertising industries. 

At that moment, Yoo Myung-han, as if he had read my worries, stabs me with a sarcastic remark.

“Let’s make a proper picture for once, since you’ve drawn your sword. Don’t you think you should make a decent name for yourself before you retire with honor, Director Kim? How long are you going to stay like that? Anyone would think you’ve already retired!”

After Yoo Myung-han leaves the director’s office, I sit down on the sofa. The sofa sinks in with a sigh, embracing my body. I had quit smoking for a long time, but without knowing it, I take out a cigarette from the bottom drawer.

Click.

The cigarette smoke rises in swirls.

“If we want to get Jang Young-guk, we have to treat him at least as well as SBC does.”

It’s a gamble, really. I don’t know about regular dramas, but this is a historical drama. It’s risky enough to cast Jang Young-guk, who has no experience in historical dramas, as the lead actor, let alone pay him a huge amount of money. On top of that, we have to reduce the number of episodes. The production cost is already set for 40 episodes. It’s nothing short of a gamble.

“Damn, that kid always messes with people’s minds.”

But I can’t get the last shout of Yoo Myung-han out of my ears. He’s someone I’ve been watching since he was an FD under me. If I had to pick the best PD in MBS drama department, I would choose Yoo Myung-han without hesitation.

That’s when Kim Won-seok snuffed out his cigarette in the ashtray and got up from his seat. He stormed out of the director’s office, heading straight for the president’s office of MBS Broadcasting.

What the hell.

‘President Kim, come out!’

He was about to retire anyway. Why should he be afraid of the president?

***

My ears are itching. Did I get water in them while showering? Or did someone talk about me behind my back? 

As I jump and shake my head to get the water out of my eustachian tubes, I catch a glimpse of the ‘Yeonsan, The King’s Secret’ on my desk.

“I’ll think about it when the script comes out.”

I still haven’t given a definite answer to the famous PD. 

It’s understandable, since liking the doesn’t guarantee that I’ll like the script. Besides, what does it matter when I don’t even know who the author is? 

It’s clear that the pen name Choi Kang-Gondu is a woman, though. That’s when it happened.

“Young-guk!”

My uncle suddenly opens the door. I had just finished showering, so I was only wearing underwear. 

I quickly wrap a towel around my body, and my uncle touches his nose and explains. 

"I'm the one who saw your naked body when my uncle surprised me that my wife showed a little bit of upper body. By the way, I read the news every morning, but I think my chest is getting wider. What if this happens, and later on, the movie will come out with an upper body?"

"Oh, uncle! I told you to knock."

"What kind of knock do you have between guests, by the way, your girlfriend is here now. Girlfriend!"

A girlfriend? What does that mean?

I quickly fixed my wet and tangled hair and threw on a coat before rushing downstairs. There, I saw my grandfather and a girl chatting warmly. 

The girl had brought a basket of fruits in both hands.

“My mother always says that I should bring something heavy when I visit elders.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. Thank you. By the way, you look even prettier up close than when I saw you at the play. Our Young-guk will like you for sure.”

“My grandfather is quite a handsome man. To be honest, he looks more like a movie star than Ahn Joong-hyun, my senior. When I first saw him, I thought it was Clint Eastwood walking towards me.”

“You rascal, stop joking.”

My grandfather looks secretly pleased. As soon as I show up, he gives me a mysterious smile and pokes my side before making room for me. I nervously swallow and greet the unexpected guest.

“Yeon-soo, what are you doing here on the weekend?”

“Oppa, did I come to a forbidden place or something? I came here to study with my senior from school. By the way, where is the star documentary filming crew?”

“They left a few days ago after finishing the shooting.”

“What? It’s already over?”

Yeon-soo seems disappointed. I don’t know what she is regretting. Maybe she came here to sneak into the star documentary.

“But how did you know about the shooting? And what’s with that fruit basket, and what do you mean by studying?”

“Oppa, the news of your star documentary shooting was already buzzing in the fan club. Didn’t you know? I’m a member of your fan club too. And of course I have to study. You’re taking the college entrance exam in the fall, right? I have to help you create a study atmosphere. You must be busy with the movie these days. Remember, the last few months of your senior year will determine your future.”

Yeon-soo says something that sounds like a lecture from a college admission counselor with a serious expression. My uncle looks at her with a touched expression, as if he were my father. He even makes a fist and gestures for me to fight, as if he were watching his son’s first love. Sigh.

“Since when did you get interested in studying?”

“Why are you like this, I’ve been good at studying since middle school. I was the one who studied from the set with a workbook to get into Sehwa High School. If you really really want to know why, I have a new goal now.”

“Goal?”

“Yeah, I want to go to Korea University.”

I almost coughed. It was the top university in Korea, the pinnacle of college admission. I had no idea Yeon-soo was so ambitious even in her academic zeal. I asked her why she wanted to go to Korea University.

“Oppa, aren’t you going to Korea University?”

She answers as if it’s obvious.