I Will Live As An Actor

Chapter 70

“There were countless playboys in the Joseon era. Some of the most famous ones were Kim Chun-taek, a scholar who seduced more palace ladies than the king, Kim Pan-seok, a eunuch who had a harem of his own, and Jung Seok-woo, a nobleman’s son who enjoyed all kinds of pleasures with widows across the eight provinces. The list goes on and on, too many to count.”

Most people don’t know much about the playboys of the Joseon era. But playwright Jung Yong-dae knows their histories like the back of his hand. 

He doesn’t stop there, he also adds detailed explanations about the famous ones.

Kim Chuntaek was a lecherous man of Joseon. 

He claimed to have done everything for the sake of establishing a faction of scholars, but his lustful deeds showed that he was also a man of that kind. 

There were rumors that he had an affair with Lady Choi, the royal consort. 

That’s why there was a ridiculous rumor that King Yeongjo’s father was not King Sukjong, but Kim Chuntaek.

What a lewd man he was.

Kim Panseok, a eunuch, seduced many palace ladies as he wandered around the palace. 

Don’t you think it’s strange, Lady Yeongguk? 

How could a man who couldn’t even perform his role as a man lure the palace ladies? 

He first deceived them with his flattering words and kind actions. But it turned out that Kim Panseok was a peculiar person who could still have sexual relations even though he became a eunuch. 

He was born without testicles and had cryptorchidism, so no one knew about it. 

That’s why he was later executed by castration when his secret was exposed.

Are you talking about the rake? 

The one who seduced widows with his charm?

“Jeong Seok-woo, the son of a powerful noble, was a true gentleman who bewitched many widows. He would sweet-talk them and make them believe he would love them forever, but then he would go behind their backs and meet other widows. The funny thing was, none of the widows blamed him for his infidelity. They were all deeply enamored by him. They say he had a hundred lovers in the capital alone. Can you imagine how many widows he seduced? But he never faced any punishment for his actions, because he was the son of a noble. However, he died young of a venereal disease, before he even reached the age of thirty.”

I don’t know much about the history of scoundrels. Let alone the sexual customs of the Joseon era, I had no interest in that at all. 

The only thing I knew was that the Joseon society was very conservative, with the saying that men and women should not sit together after the age of seven, and the concept of the loyal women’s gate. 

At that moment, the playwright Jeong Yong-dae seemed to read my thoughts and explained.

“Of course, you might wonder how there could be a Casanova in the Joseon era, when Neo-Confucianism was widespread. But it took a very long time for Confucian culture to take root, and during that gap, the sexual customs of Joseon were quite chaotic, to say the least.”

“Mr. Jung, I’m sorry, but I’m a minor. Can I really play such a role? After all, theater is different from movies. You can’t edit anything and you have to show everything to the audience on stage, right?”

I can’t help but feel flustered. If it was a movie, I would have considered the role. It makes sense, since you can create scenes with editing and angles. But theater is where the audience’s eyes are the angles and the audience’s ears are the sound. 

That’s when Jung Yong-dae lowers his head and says firmly.

“Mr. Young-guk, I have no intention of writing a story about lustful men like them. The Casanova in my play is a different kind of scoundrel from those people. For example, even if Kim Chuntaek, Kim Pansuk, and Jung Seokwoo came together, they would not be able to beat the Casanova in my play.”

“Do you really think I can pull off that role?”

“Of course, I wrote the play inspired by you, Mr. Young-guk. You are the only one in my mind who can be the protagonist. How about it, the best Casanova in Joseon.”

The playwright Jung Yong-dae adds with a meaningful smile.

“Are you intrigued?”

***

A car is driving along a road that curves like a wave following the mountain range. 

On the side of the road, trainees in military uniforms are walking in line, following the orders of the instructor. 

As the name ‘Huldeok Hill’ suggests, the faces of the soldiers carrying their backpacks are covered with sweat. 

The manager Lee Bong-chui, who is holding the steering wheel, admires the sight.

“Wow, that was the hardest time, when I was a trainee. Carrying a backpack and marching was tough. Everyone thinks that everything is over when the trainee life ends. But when you get a stripe on your chest and go to your unit, that’s when the real military life begins.”

“Didn’t you say you were a public service worker?”

“Public service workers have to go through the same training camp as everyone else. I was assigned to the sewage treatment plant, which they call the marine corps of the public service sector. It was really tough there. Maybe not as much as the active-duty soldiers, but still.”

“Hmm.”

“Hey, I’m serious. You don’t know because you didn’t go to the army in Young-guk. You have no idea how hard the training camp life is.”

Didn’t go, huh.

In my previous life, I had spent my military service in Gangwon Province. It was unbearably hot in the summer, so hot that my ears would burn. 

And in the winter, no matter how many layers of socks and underwear I wore, the cold wave would pierce through my uniform in less than ten minutes. Anyway.

I wondered what kind of variety show filming would take us to a remote village in Gangwon Province. And why did they tell us to bring our suitcases?

This was the first pilot program that PD Jung Ji-yong had taken on since he was demoted to the variety department. But the filming location was dubious. We left Seoul and entered Gangwon Province, but we had no idea where we were going. We kept driving deeper into the countryside.

The dense bushes were already covered with thick white snow, and deer were hopping around, leaving their footprints behind. Maybe we were going to do some camping.

"You'll see when we get there. I can't tell you in advance, or you might refuse to drive,"

Manager Lee Bong-chun said, teasing me. Come to think of it, I didn't even ask what kind of variety show it was after I agreed to appear on it. 

Finally, the car left the road and entered an unpaved road. 

There were so many bumpy rocks. I couldn't tell if I was riding a car or an amusement park ride.

"Huh?"

The first thing that caught my eye at that moment was none other than a lodge. 

It looked like it was isolated on a deserted island, a lodge pension that appeared out of nowhere. 

It was more mysterious because it was among the snow-white forest with snowflakes blooming. But when I saw the luxury cars lined up next to the lodge, I realized that this place was not a fairy tale world.

"Hyung, are there that many celebrities invited for today's variety show filming?"

There were quite a lot of cars. 

They all looked like they were driven by celebrities, as they were all vans. 

Not to mention the number of filming staff. 

What kind of variety show was this, that they had so much support from the pilot episode?

As soon as I got out of the car, feeling flustered, a VJ ran over and captured me on camera.

"Are we filming already?"

I hadn't even received a script. The VJ nodded his head vigorously instead of answering. 

Manager Lee Bong-chun looked at him with a smile. What kind of variety show was this, that it was so noisy from the start?

I carried my suitcase to the front door of the lodge pension, and then the VJ gave me an OK sign. 

That's when PD Jung Ji-yong, who was in charge of this variety show filming, appeared.

"Ji-yong hyung!"

"Young-guk, I'm really grateful that you came!"

"Hey, enough with the formalities. How long has it been? I haven't seen you since the wrap-up party of August Man three years ago. And you haven't changed a bit, hyung. I thought you would be very serious since you said you became a PD, but."

"Hey, I'm just a PD in name. Do you think I can be a real PD? And the one who changed a lot is you. You hit it big on SBC last year. I thought you grew a lot then, but how can you change so much in three years? Wow, what do kids these days eat to grow so tall?"

Then I remembered. 

Three years ago, Jung Ji-yong was much smaller than me when he was an FD. But now he was below my eye level. I looked at the vans parked in a row and asked him.

"By the way, hyung, what kind of filming is this, that there are so many cars at the lodge?"

"Didn't you hear from the CEO? I told him the concept beforehand."

"I didn't ask much because I thought the concept might change since it's a pilot program. But if I knew it would be this big and have so many people."

"It's okay, there's hardly any script today anyway. The main concept is to improvise. Are you curious about the concept of today's filming?"

"Of course I'm curious. I thought we were going to do some camping since the location is like this. But it doesn't seem like that, seeing how many celebrities came."

"Young-guk, look forward to it. Today's filming."

At that moment, PD Jung Ji-yong elbowed me in the ribs and gave me a smug smile.

"It's a blind date."

* * *

‘Oh, I've been had.'

Young-guk repeated in his mind, ‘Why did I come here?' 

He had thought it was a normal variety show filming, but he was wrong. 

It was a program with a 4 vs 4 blind date format. 

No wonder everyone from CEO Kim Seong-hwan to Manager Lee Bong-chun didn't tell him anything about the filming concept.

"Today, we have four men and four women here. They are all people who have made a stir in Korea. They have various occupations. From singers to comedians, models, and drama actors!"

The host tries hard to liven up the atmosphere. I wonder how they came up with the idea of having a group blind date in a mountain lodge.

“Today, the ones who get the most votes from each team, the men’s team and the women’s team, will be crowned as the king and queen of the night!”

I want to decline such a spot. But the women’s eyes on me are so hot that they burn. 

They must have never dreamed that I would be here.

That’s why during the break, not only the female celebrities, but also the male celebrities were busy exchanging greetings with me. 

Well, it’s a pilot program after all.

It’s unlikely that these big names would appear on a short-lived program that might not even make it to the regular schedule. I can guess why PD Jung Ji-yong begged his agency to cast me.

“Before we introduce ourselves, let’s start with a talent show. It might be more helpful for your charm appeal to do a talent show first and then introduce yourself! Now, who wants to go first? The women’s team or the men’s team?”

The host stirs up the mood. One of the male celebrities, who was a comedian, volunteers to show his talent of impersonating voices and making jokes. 

He is a comedian indeed. He makes the whole set laugh with his humorous style. His impersonations are so spot-on that I would be fooled if I closed my eyes. And he doesn’t stop there.

The male celebrities compete to show their talents. 

The one who was a singer dazzles the women with his flashy dance moves. I look at him with a hint of envy.

The one who was a model walks as if he is on a runway and introduces himself in front of the camera. 

And then.

‘Is it my turn?’

The host looks at my face and smiles meaningfully.

“The last and the biggest highlight of today, the fourth man’s turn has come. You haven’t introduced yourself yet, but you all know who he is, right? By the way, let me tell you that the fourth man is a minor. So, you have to take good care of him, sisters and brothers. He may look handsome, but he is still a baby inside, a baby!”

The host’s joking remark makes the set burst into laughter again. On the other hand.

A baby, what?

I can’t even fake a smile. 

I am older than the camera director on the set. I have a middle-aged man in my heart. 

Maybe today’s variety show shooting won’t be so bad.

‘The best Casanova of Joseon.’

Isn’t there something in common with the play by playwright Jung Yong-dae?

-Mr. Young-guk, since ancient times, the rakes were skilled in the four arts (qin, qi, shu, hua). They excelled in artistic fields. That’s how they could charm many women. Don’t you have something you are good at, Mr. Young-guk?

The host asks me, looking at me.

“Fourth man, you are the last one, so show us your charm boldly.”

As an actor, everyone expects me to act. 

So the camera director prepares to zoom in the camera. But I smile slyly at the women and say.

“I will sing for you.”