I Will Live As An Actor

Vulgata.

The Latin word for the Bible. As I flipped through the pages, the complex characters seemed to multiply. Fortunately, I found a version with the pronunciation and meaning translated into Korean, so reading it wasn’t a problem. As I concentrated on studying it like I was preparing for a test, my manager, glancing at me through the rearview mirror, cautiously spoke to me.

“Yeongguk, are you studying foreign languages too? But that twisted writing isn’t English, so what language is it?”

“It’s Latin. I’m trying to study foreign languages whenever I have some spare time.”

“Wow, many people would hate to study just English, but you’re studying foreign languages even without being told to. I heard you’re good at English, too, Yeongguk. I heard from the CEO that you were always top in your school. Were you always that good at studying?”

“No, I used to be a terrible student.”

“Hey, don’t lie.”

It was true. Studying greatly depended on one’s mindset, and I could do it for foreign languages, particularly English because I had some confidence in myself.

Nowadays, it is rare for celebrities to study foreign languages, but just wait a few years, and the Korean Hallyu Wave will spread throughout Asia and many places overseas. Who would believe it now if a Korean singer’s name were to appear on the Billboard charts? Thanks to that, from the moment of their debut, actors and singers alike were required to take foreign language courses.

My need to learn foreign languages stemmed from an experience in my past life.

I was so embarrassed back then.

At midlife in my past life, I was once detained at an airport immigration because I couldn’t communicate abroad. I was mistaken for a gang member because of my somewhat rough appearance. Since then, I opened my eyes to English and started learning other languages little by little.

“Since you’re good at English, it’ll be easy for you to expand overseas!”

My manager Lee Bongchun was already drinking the Kool-Aid. It’s because the broadcasting rights for Youth have been confirmed for export to Japan.

With no embargo, the news was widely reported in the media, causing a frenzy in the entertainment industry and broadcasting circles. Officially, the broadcasting rights fee per episode was not disclosed, but according to rumors, it was the highest amount in history.

“But are you okay with shooting CFs? You barely slept a few hours last night because you were filming the drama pretty late into the night. If you’re too tired, let me know, and I’ll somehow make time for you to get some sleep!”

I was grateful even just for the words. It was difficult for a road manager to show their abilities on a filming set unless they were at a director’s level. That’s why they called the youngest manager on the set a “stilt.” The meaning was that they had no time to straighten their backs as they bowed and greeted others on behalf of their actor.

“I’m alright, hyung. This much isn’t a problem.”

It’s not a lie. The intensity of filming Youth was relatively mild. How much did I suffer with the script in my past life? Once the latter half of the filming began, there was no separate war zone. The filming team and the actors became worn out and exhausted. However, Youth was different.

Not only were there no script revisions, but the broadcasting station even considered the filming set and didn’t sub in Team C. It was unusual if one were to consider that most dramas usually operated with multiple teams. For supporting roles and extras, Teams B and C oversaw supplementary filming, so there was plenty of room on the set.

That’s probably why I was able to find time to shoot a CF.

“Yeongguk, we’re almost there.”

Soon, today’s filming location appeared through the car window.

* * *

They said to strike while the iron was hot, and I decided to shoot CF. Despite numerous love calls, I had postponed taking on advertisements until now. In the meantime, the advertisers seemed to have become impatient. Although that was not my intention, the contract conditions and guarantees improved as a result. It wasn’t a bad change for me.

A perfume CF.

CEO Kim Seonghwan carefully chose the advertisement. There were various proposals for CFs on different topics. However, this was the result after eliminating those that didn’t match the image of Youth and choosing studio filming instead of outdoor filming. If they only cared about the money, they could have picked the highest-paying commercial, but they chose this out of consideration for me.

“Actor Jang, today’s filming concept is to express your scent as if awakening from a deformation. As the surrounding dancers perform avant-garde movements, you at the center will emphasize a luxurious image. Today’s goal is to leave a strong impression in the viewers’ minds that when they think of Deol perfume, they think of Actor Jang’s face.”

The CF director could pass as a costume designer with his sophisticated attire. He was a real fashionista, wearing a scarf in this hot summer. Not to mention that his bald head and green horn-rimmed glasses created a credible image. Anyone would think, “Ah, this person is an expert.”

“Look at that. I like models who can pull off clothes so well.”

Once the makeup was done and the model had changed into their outfit, shooting a CF was not that long. That’s why the CF director kept conversing with me about the shoot even as I was doing my makeup. After studying the storyboard, a stranger appeared with the CF director.

“Actor Jang, the model of this perfume commercial.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Yeongguk. I’m Hwang Jangmi, the Korean branch manager for Deol. You have no idea how much effort we put into casting you. We were ready to wait until the end of your drama shoot as you said it would be difficult to do a CF during that time, but we’re glad you made up your mind sooner than expected.”

“Hello. I’m Actor Jang Yeongguk. Thank you for saying that, but I’m curious if there’s a reason you wanted me as the model?”

It was surprising that the advertiser chose me. In the future, men would also wear perfume, but at the time, it was almost exclusive to women. Yet unexpectedly, they insisted on choosing me as their model. Actor Seo Minhye, the female lead of Youth, would’ve been a better choice if they wanted to capitalize on the drama’s popularity.

“I think there will soon be a time when ordinary men wear makeup and perfume. We’re investing for that future.”

As expected of a businesswoman, she had a keen insight. As she said, there would come a time when even ordinary men owned at least one perfume.

“Especially, Pureté, a perfume recently released by Deol for men. There are many famous actors and models, but I was looking for someone who could clearly express the essence of the perfume beyond the TV screen. And that’s when I saw Yeongguk from Youth. I knew right away; you were the perfect image for Pureté.”

Under the watchful eye of the advertiser, the shoot progressed quickly.

With the cue sign…

“Pureté”

A man wearing a pure white shirt said the name of the perfume in French and gently rubbed his scented wrist on the back of his neck. Dancers moved like fairies in a set designed to resemble a dense forest. The man gracefully walked through them.

As he passed by, the fairies stopped dancing and gazed at him, seemingly captivated. How could a mere human bewitch these fairies?

A fragrance that transcends the TV screen.

For obvious reasons, the fragrance couldn’t come through the TV screen. It had to be expressed through the production and acting. The man gave a faint smile to the fairies watching him. Then, like picking up some fruit, he lifted a bottle of Pureté placed on a rock with his long fingers.

Again, as he infused his wrist with the fragrance, fairies approached excitedly. But the man remained aloof and indifferent. Following the director’s instruction, he delivered a short but impactful line to the camera.

“Deol, creating pure men.”

* * *

It was a steak, full of rich, savory juices. I didn’t know how long it had been since I’d been to a place like this since I always ate Korean food. I would’ve definitely had wine in my past life, but as a minor, I had to settle for sparkling juice.

“Is the food to your taste, Yeongguk?”

Somehow, I ended up having dinner hosted by Hwang Jangmi, Deol’s Korean branch manager. Of course, the CF director was also with us. How could the food not be to my taste? It was a restaurant I frequented in my past life. As I nodded briefly and said it was delicious, Hwang Jangmi continued the conversation.

“I monitored the shoot at the studio, and the images came out just as I expected.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

“I wanted to portray a natural, unforced image of purity, and the video alone allowed viewers to feel the scent of our Deol perfume. I’m sure the audience will feel the same way.”

“It’s all thanks to the director for creating a great storyboard.”

As we exchanged pleasantries, the CF director gave a satisfied smile. Then, CEO Hwang Jangmi put down her knife and added,

“Mr. Yeongguk, why not take this opportunity to become Deol’s exclusive model? I don’t mean to brag, but our stocks are rising not only overseas but also in Korea. There’s no need to mention our great image as a luxury brand. I’ll make the proposal to your agency’s CEO, but your opinion is most important. In that sense, I’d like you to take on our next perfume commercial for the new lineup.”

“Yeah, Actor Jang. What do you think about working together again, as the CEO suggested? It’s a pity to shoot just one piece today.”

The CF director chimed in as if he had coordinated with CEO Hwang Jangmi.

An exclusive contract.

Honestly, I wondered why this offer hadn’t come up yet.

Most advertisers usually had a similar motive when they were this friendly. They wanted to secure an exclusive contract when the guarantee (fee) was at its lowest, so they could benefit from it. After all, in this world, one’s worth could skyrocket in the blink of an eye, depending on the work.

Especially with the current success of Youth, my image in the eyes of a businesswoman like CEO Hwang Jangmi was an attractive commodity. There was a high chance that she would be persistent even if I refused. Still, I didn’t give a definite yes or no to be safe.

“I hope that works out too. Here, can I get another glass of juice, please!”

I called the server loudly to change the subject, even if it seemed a bit rustic.

Only once the cobwebs cleared was I able to return to Grandpa’s mansion.

As expected, CEO Hwang showed more persistence than I had anticipated. I, too, had to use social skills within a range that wouldn’t offend her to shake off her tenacity. If I didn’t have my past life’s experience as a middle-aged person, I might have fallen for her smooth talk.

“Phew.”

Without even lying down on the bed, I opened the script.

Although it was my principle not to read other scripts during drama filming, this time was different. That was because I had a personal audition tomorrow.

The Priest’s Confession.

Like a pebble creating ripples on a calm lake, The Priest’s Confession was that kind of work for me. It awakened my talent as an actor and could be seen as turning my life’s compass. Naturally, I wanted to succeed in performing it.

“Can I do it well?”

At that moment, as if to answer my question, the captivating words within the script snatched my gaze. It was as if it did not want to let me go.

* * *

Audition.

In my past life, I couldn’t be separated from auditions. When audition announcements went up, I was busy applying right away, even when I didn’t have an agency and only played bit parts. Of course, I couldn’t even dream of playing the lead role. Like rain during a drought, it was rare to be cast as a bit part or, if I was lucky, a supporting role.

It feels like I’m back to my rookie days.

The building where Director Shin Seonghyeon’s office was located was shabby. It looked shoddy, but it was also the reality for most movie directors nowadays. Even directors who made a name for themselves in indie films couldn’t make it in commercial films, and many left the film industry.

Even after finishing a movie shoot, it would go bankrupt if it didn’t break even. That’s how much a proper sponsorship or investment system hadn’t developed yet, something that would be prevalent in the future.

“Actor Jang, welcome.”

I could see that they pushed the furniture and utensils to the wall to use the office as an audition space. Director Shin Seonghyeon greeted me with an apologetic expression. After all, having a personal audition after revising the script could potentially hurt an actor’s pride.

However, I understood him.

“Let me introduce our directing team to you, Actor Jang. Starting from here, Kim Seokcheol, who is both the AD and the scripter, and this person is…”

He couldn’t wield absolute power even if he was the top leader, especially in the case of an unknown director. The directing department could be considered the backbone of a filming site. Each was an invaluable resource that couldn’t be left out of a filming set.

Especially in this situation, the resistance must have been large when the director revised the script as he pleased. The one factor that could subdue all of that was the actor’s acting skills.

“Hello, I’m Actor Jang Yeongguk. I hope today’s audition goes well!”

As I bowed deeply with a booming voice, just like when I played bit parts in my past life, Director Shin Seonghyeon and the directing team members seemed quite taken aback. They must have thought I might be uncooperative and unhappy about the audition.

“Actor Jang, can you start from scene number 47? If you don’t have the script, we’ve prepared a printout for you to read while you perform.”

“It’s alright. How could I possibly act with a script in my hands at an audition?”

I had already read the script so much that it was worn out. I even visited the diocese to meet an archbishop to understand the world within the script. How insane was I about this script in my past life? Enough for a person with no religion like me to memorize the Psalms. Although the protagonist’s age changed, the situation remained the same.

I could think of a better scene because I had already watched the scene in a video in my past life.

“Director, if it’s not rude, can I change the direction of scene number 47 according to my interpretation? If you don’t like it, I’ll do it again according to the original script.”

Surprise flickered in Director Shin Seonghyeon’s eyes. Movie scripts usually consist of around 150 scenes. He hadn’t given any hint about which scene he would have to perform during the audition, meaning he already memorized them. Moreover, he even has his own interpretation of them. It’s hard to believe, but the audition had begun.

“Scene number 47, recite the last rites!”

The AD’s voice replaced the slate.

It was a scene where one shirked the responsibility of the priesthood. A dying young man lay on a bed in a luxurious hospital room. He had caused a traffic accident while intoxicated, resulting in the death of an innocent family; he himself was left in a coma and brought to the hospital. Amidst all this, various life support devices are connected to his body.

“Father, please ease our son’s pain on his last journey.”

One of the director’s staff read out the other dialogue. At that moment, she was taken aback. She felt an inexplicable uneasiness in Yeongguk’s appearance as he turned his head. However, as if it were an illusion, a gentle voice followed.

“Sister, I’m going to pray for your son now, but if it’s alright with you, may I offer a prayer in Latin from the Orthodox Church? That way, your son will be able to rest more peacefully.”

Yeongguk looked at an empty space where no one was. In the script, it’s the place where the young man lay in bed. Director Shin Seonghyeon and the directing team watched him. Then, a solemn and sacred voice in Latin flows out.

“Consider how one conceives iniquity; is pregnant with mischief, and gives birth to deception.”

The young man’s mother could not understand Latin. She could only helplessly watch the priest recite the last rites to her drying child. However, the directing team, acting as the filming camera, looked directly at the priest.

“He digs a hole and bores it deep, but he falls into the pit he has made. His malice turns back upon his head.”

As a priest, he should save the dying, but the real victims—the family—lay dead on the cold floor while the perpetrator remained alive in this luxurious hospital room. Despite her child causing the death of innocent people, the mother only wailed for her child to be saved.

How could one not feel the contradiction in this scene?

Gulping, Director Shin Seonghyeon’s eyes widened like lanterns. His fingertips trembled ever so slightly. Not only him, for everyone did the same. It was because the priest’s expression reciting the last rites changed frame by frame.

Just as Jekyll straightened his back to become Hyde, the lips, brow, pupils, and even the small wrinkles moved delicately.

“His violence falls on his own skull. -Psalm 7:15-17.”[1]

The young man lying in bed faintly opened his eyes. As if representing his gaze, the directing team leaned forward. The priest’s figure appeared in the young man’s sight. The voice was solemn, but the lips seemed pleased and the eyes cold.

The priest, who had shed his priesthood, recited the last rite once more in Latin.

“Lord, punish him.”

Forever.

The young man opened his eyes in agony. It seemed as if he was on the boundary between this world and the afterlife. Soon, his heart, which had been pumping, stopped, and the EKG in the central monitor drew a horizontal line. With the sound of the machine beeping, the priest’s expression, like a lie, became gentle again, perfectly transforming into a clergyman who was consoling a mother who had just lost her child.

At the short spectacle, the directing team was at a loss for words. Not only because the small office felt like an actual filming location but also because the actor’s overwhelming acting ability had wrapped around their whole body.

[1] Again, this comes from the NABRE.

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