I Will Live As An Actor

The harsh winter had passed, and the forsythia blossoms announced the arrival of a clear and bright spring. The petals scattered along the riverbank looked like drops of yellow paint sprinkled on a canvas. As spring touched the once-frozen riverbank, mother ducks and their ducklings paddled and wandered tirelessly.

An eye-catching young man was seen among the people jogging along the bank. No matter where the sunlight shined, his handsomeness couldn’t be hidden by the cap pressed down over his eyes. As he ran against the spring breeze, a tiny Pomeranian approached, wagging its tail. It rubbed its fluffy head on the young man’s sneakers as if to express its happiness.

“What’s your name?”

“Kim Minji, it’s Kim Minji!”

“What do you eat to be so cute, Minji?”

As he stroked its fluffy head, the dog wagged its tail even more fiercely as if to agree. The owner couldn’t control her trembling heart until the young man finished greeting the dog and went on his way. As the young man’s back disappeared in the distance, she finally released the breath she had been holding. The young man would never know that the name Minji she had told him was not actually the dog’s name.

It’s refreshing.

The gushing stream of water soaked his head, shoulders, and ankles. Showering early in the morning had been a long habit of the young man. It was a habit from his past life. Many virtues were needed as an actor, but physical strength had to be a foundation, like drawing a sketch. It was then…

“Oh my, I almost peed in my pants!”

The bathroom door flung open, and a middle-aged man rushed in. His expression was nonchalant despite someone showering inside.

“Uncle!”

“What’s the big deal between men! At my age, I would have peed in my pants if I climbed up to the second floor!”

A spacious hall could be seen as he came out after drying his hair with a towel. The nation’s actor Ahn Junghyeon and Grandpa (director Baek Janghun) sat there. Dressed in traditional attire, they looked like perfect country elders.

Let’s live together.

When he decided to go to university in Seoul, Grandpa offered the young man a place to stay. He said it would be lonely to be alone in such a vast mansion and that he would be more than happy to have a companion. At that moment, Ahn Junghyeon stared intently at the young man as he came out after washing himself.

“Yeongguk, how is your skin so good? It’s shiny. You used to be so small, but now you’re taller than me. Hyung, did I look like that when I was young?”

“Junghyeon, don’t you remember when you were young? You were very feminine.”

“Really?”

“Yes, long hair was in fashion back then, and your hair was so long. Your face looked like a servant, but your hair was so long it’s a wonder the police didn’t catch you back then.”

There weren’t many differences from his past life. His once pimpled skin had become clean, and the balance of his body had improved further. Even his features had become clearer, changing the overall harmony of his face. It’s like the saying that there’s only a sheet of paper difference between the appearance of a cop and a gangster.

“Grandpa, uncle. I’m going to school!”

As if a fruit had ripened, he looked refreshed in his school uniform. Yeongguk pedaled his bicycle, the spring breeze seemed to tickle him. Sparrows that had already begun mating were frolicking on the water jar, and the old pine tree spread its fragrant green. Watching this, Ahn Junghyeon calmly said,

“Hyung, spring has come.”

* * *

Jang Yeongguk.

Tears streamed endlessly from the eyes of Writer Hwang Sugyeong. For several days, she had been rewatching Jang Yeongguk’s filmography. From dramas and indie films to cameos. There weren’t many works, but he had shown various transformations as a child actor.

In particular, performing such deep emotional expression was difficult even for seasoned actors. She felt a sense of longing from the back of the boy sitting at the bow of the boat.

“Sunbae! How long are you going to avoid showering and just keep watching dramas! Do you even know how many times you’ve rewatched that? Go wash your hair! What kind of person doesn’t do that? People who don’t know you might think you’re not a drama writer but a homeless person from Seoul Station!”

“Sujin, what’s so important about how many times I watch it? The lingering emotions in my heart haven’t faded yet. Can’t you hear it? The sound of the child actor swallowing their tears.”

“What are you talking about! Are you hearing hallucinations now?”

Why didn’t I know? Hwang Sugyeong’s gaze was still fixed on the TV screen. The anguish that inevitably came when writing a script, the need to find an actor who could fully embody even the shortest lines of dialogue. If you chased fame and only looked for famous actors, it inevitably would leave a blemish on the picture. In that sense, the boy’s acting reaffirmed the writer’s values and skills.

“Sunbae, please do something about PD Kim! When are you going to write the script? I’m dying from his constant nagging! Look at my hairline; I’m going to get alopecia at this rate. Stop rewatching old dramas and start working! What kind of inspiration did you get from your old school that you’re endlessly watching indie films and dramas?”

“Hey, you have plenty of hair. Stop exaggerating! And what I felt that day wasn’t inspiration!”

“Then what was it?”

It was intuition. Hwang Sugyeong couldn’t forget the face of the student she had seen before. Like being trapped in a spider’s web. As soon as she heard his voice and gaze, she knew he was the main character in the script. When she found out he was a child actor, she frantically searched through his filmography.

Why didn’t I know?

She had many actors in mind, but he wasn’t even on the list. Moreover, he had only appeared in a drama and an indie film as a child actor and then made a few cameo appearances in the works of the so-called master director, Baek Janghun.

She hadn’t even considered him, especially since drama and movie actors were often seen as separate professions. However, she was filled with certainty beyond mere intuition after watching his performances.

“Sunbae—no, unnie! What will we do if our work gets scrapped? It happened in our last project too. Remember when we couldn’t find a suitable lead, and the project was scrapped during the planning stage? The drama director looks down on us because of that! It’s only thanks to unnie breaking records with her past hits that we can still work. Do you know what your nickname is in the drama department? Hwang Lovable!”

“Lovable? They say I’m lovable?”

“Troublemaker! Hwang Lovable, that’s what!”

Hwang Sugyeong promptly picked up the phone and called PD Kim at SBC Broadcasting. Before the ringtone even played once, the other person’s voice came through, screaming about how long she would postpone writing and how they would find a good actor themselves if she couldn’t find the main lead. At that moment, Hwang Sugyeong confidently declared.

“PD Kim, listen carefully! If you gossip about this to the reporters again, I won’t work with SBC on my next project! And from today, I’ll start writing the script. Why? Because I found him! So, you have to cast him, no matter what! I, whom they call Hwang Lovable, won’t do this project without actor Jang Yeongguk!”

Hwang Sugyeong, aka Hwang Lovable, began writing her script.

* * *

If someone asked what youth was, I’d want them to take a look at the school grounds. Underneath the beautifully blooming cherry blossoms, students were playing basketball. Was it because of the warm sunlight or the basketballs bouncing on the ground without rest? At that moment, a small sneaker nudged someone.

“Jang Yeongguk!”

The boy raised his head and looked at the class president. His eyes, filled with admiration, resembled those of a calf. He smiled at her. His face was drenched in sweat as if he’d been playing hard. But he didn’t seem to care. He lifted his soaked t-shirt and wiped his face with it.

“Since you became the vice president! You should study during self-study time. Can’t you control the kids, let alone play basketball?”

She spoke sharply. After all, the moment self-study began, he grabbed the basketball and rushed out. A refreshing spring breeze greeted him as he sat on the bench to cool off the sweat pouring from his broad shoulders. As he wiped his sweat with his sleeve, he felt the curious gazes of the freshmen who just started their physical education class.

“Look at you, showing off again!”

“Thank you.”

“How on earth can you still manage to come in first place while doing this? Life is so unfair! Unfair! Everyone else is still racking their brains because of the mock exams even after the midterms!”

Just like his values and direction in life changed from his past life, so did his school days. He could proudly show a legitimate report card, not a forged one, and his relationships with classmates had also improved. The boy once again expressed his gratitude to CEO Kim Seonghwan. Thanks to him, he could hold onto the precious memories of that unforgettable time that would never come again.

“By the way, what happened with that school tour you gave before? I heard she’s a very famous writer at the broadcasting station! Our homeroom teacher said she asked about your name several times; what on earth did you do to guide her?”

“I didn’t give her a tour.”

“What?”

It wasn’t a lie. As soon as the female graduate met the boy’s gaze, she blinked a few times, and that was all. There was no need to guide her around the school. She seemed to have looked at the boy’s name tag and left her seat as if running away. The only thing that remained in his memory was that she had mismatched shoes.

The boy felt his shoulders droop. Stretching his broad shoulders like yawning, the class president sitting beside him flinched and shrank back. This clearly showed how she was a shy high school girl.

“Why on earth aren’t you acting in any productions while you’re studying acting? You don’t know how much of a fan my mom was when you appeared in the Man of August! Thanks to her, I was forced to watch it too. She keeps asking about you since finding out we’re in the same class. She wants to know when you’ll be on TV again.”

“Well, actors do look for roles.”

At that moment, a basketball rolled, bouncing over to the bench before them. The boy stood up, grabbed it, and immediately threw it towards the net. The basketball flew, tracing a parabola along the curve of his long arm, which was in sync with his broad shoulders. Despite the distance, the basketball reliably shook the net.

Just like that, sometimes roles would find actors. The boy turned around with a smile after demonstrating his smooth skills. His calf-like eyes captured the fluttering cherry blossoms.

“Don’t smile like that!”

Although his hair was soaked in sweat and sticking together, it only made him seem more refreshing.

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