I was summoned by a super villainess to another universe

Jack's pants were vibrating.

 

 

 

It took a few moments to figure out it was his phone, before he fumbled with his pockets to pull it forth and finally managed to turn it on, "Hel-hello?" He didn't hear anything. He pulled it away to look at it, then turned it around and repeated himself, "Hello?" A familiar voice came through.

 

"I said you missed your appointment." It was Doctor Brown on the other end.

 

Jack winced and hit his forehead, "Oh. Right! Sorry. The day has been kinda crazy. You wouldn't believe what-"

 

"You got in a fight with one of the toughest metas in the city. Specifically, Toady Troll." Her voice was flat and matter of fact.

 

Jack stared at the phone for a few moments before putting it back to his ear, "Uh. Well... I wouldn't say... fight. Things were kind of crazy and I just-"

 

"Your bus got hit with a wayward chunk of vehicle. Someone reported that an angel appeared, healed her wounds, and left her in a Little Mister." Jack's eyebrows started to rise as he hear her flipping through paper, "Then we have two people who were almost killed by falling debris, rescued by, and I quote, 'Some slutty hero who was hitting on my wife', unquote."

 

Jack sat up in bed and exclaimed into the phone, "HEY! I didn't do anything slutty at all!" Then paused and slapped himself on the forehead as he fell back against the bed, ~I just all but admitted it was me. Fuck.~

 

Jack heard a chuckle from the other end as Brown continued, "Then apparently something happened, we don't have details but Toady was about to murder you when Sass from The Rascals apparently got her second wind and managed to beat Toady into submission." She paused for a second and her tone changed, "Which I find amazing because Toady is way above her weight class." The sound of paper being laid down could be heard, "Frankly they were warned not to engage and wait for back up. I'm surprised they all managed to walk away." Another pause, "Which I hear is because of you."

 

Jack laid there in silence as he thought. Eventually he asked, "How'd you figure out it was me?"

 

Brown replied simply, "GPS." There was a pause, "When you didn't show up at your appointment, we pulled your phone's GPS records and checked it against incidents. And well... The fact at the end of the fight your phone shot up six stories and then flew back to your apartment was a strong indicator that you were involved."

 

Jack rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Look. They were screwed. I could help. I tried to stay out of it, but I couldn't just let Sass get killed. As soon as it was over, I left." He took a deep breath, "Am I in trouble?"

 

Brown let out a long sigh through her nose, "We don't like amateurs getting involved in situations like that, but the truth is, you saved at least three people's lives, and arguably Sass' as well. Although your comments after the battle were-"

 

Jack cut her off, "Hey. Just trying to keep the whole secret identity a secret. Different face, different name, different personality. Should do wonders to keep people from finding where I live. That's all."

 

"I see." She cleared her throat, "Well, I suppose you seem to have some amount of skill. I don't see any reason for you not enrolling to get your cape license."

 

Jack sat up again, "No no no. Nuh-uh. No way. I am not hero material. I was just helping out. After the whole, nearly getting killed... thing... I'm good. I had that made quite clear to me. I'm good with being a civilian. Thank you."

 

Brown sounded surprised, "Really? Your application-"

 

Jack cut her off again, "Was written when I had a head full of comic books. I like living, thank you very much. This was way too dangerous for me. I'm done."

 

"Uhh..." There was a long period of silence, "Normally I'm not one to encourage someone into this field. It is, as you say, dangerous, but I had no idea you'd be capable of healing other people. That's a rarity in this world. No matter how ineffective you are, that'll get you work in and of itself."

 

"Then I'll work at a hospital, I guess. But in the field? No. Sorry. That was terrifying. I have a number of tricks. A few things I can pull off, but I'm not up to any prolonged conflict." He hooked a thumb over his shoulder, "I Broke a WING! I was helpless! I might have been able to heal it, but it took a while and... when I got back to my apartment I was exhausted." He sighed, "I'm just not hero material."

 

"Well... we can talk about it. I can think of places that would love you for a support position." Her voice got an optimistic lilt to it, "Like, here for example."

 

Jack sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Maybe. I dunno. Look. Do we have to reschedule or something?"

 

"No. We can count this call as our meeting. However, I'd like you to actually, physically show up at my office next week. There's a bunch of tests I'd like to do."

 

~Great. So much for keeping this low key.~ He grumbled, "I guess everyone is going to know about this, eh?"

 

"Well... no." Jack eyed the phone as she continued, "You aren't actually a registered cape. You are stating you wish to remain a civilian. If Vop-cu was sloppy with people's secret identities, nobody would trust us and nobody would register. We take your privacy very seriously."

 

~Huh. Maybe I am going to catch a break, after all.~ He cleared his throat, "So... as of right now, who knows of my involvement in this mess?"

 

"Well... you. Me..." A pause, "Technically the information will be put into your file, but nobody is allowed to read it without good reason and if anyone does, I can make sure your are alerted to your file being accessed so. I guess just the two of us."

 

Jack felt a wave of relief, "Well. Let's keep it that way. I'll think about if I want to actually be a full blown cape, but I don't think it's for me. I'm not as brave as I thought I was."

 

Doctor Brown was quiet for several seconds before saying simply, "I see."

 

"Well. Anything else you want to talk about?"

 

"No. I suppose not. I'll see you next week."

 

"Next week it is!" Jack tapped the hang up icon on his phone. He flopped back in his bed, "Well... this might come back to bite me in the ass, but-" He paused, "Wait... Slutty hero?" He looked down at himself and his still bare chest, "Oh. That's right. Fuck." He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling.

 

 

"You know... that breast plate looked good on that figurine. I wonder if you can order that on line."