Chapter 45: The Real Eunah -2
A short silence followed.
She sat on the sofa, staring at me intently, maintaining the silence.
As he was nervously swallowing the thought that he might had made a mistake, a faint smile appeared on her lips.
"You're not a completely useless guy."
With those words, she got up.
Walking past Dokyun, she headed towards the kitchen shelves and spoke.
"Reasonably spirited, too."
With a familiar movement, she bent down and rummaged through the lower shelf, taking out a bottle of liquor and two glasses, then returned to the living room where Dokyun was standing.
After sitting back on the sofa, she filled a glass with liquor she had brought and continued speaking.
"Sit."
Dokyun alternated between looking at her and the glass, then swallowed dryly, sitting at a distance where one more person could fit beside her.
"Are you going to drink?"
He looked at the bottle on the table. It was a golden liquor with English words "Moore" written on the label, looking quite expensive at first glance.
Still feeling unsettled, wanting to borrow some courage from the alcohol, but the strong scent piercing his nose made him think that he wouldn't be able to continue a proper conversation if he drank it, so he shook his head and replied.
"No, thank you."
"Really?"
A voice tinged with disappointment.
She pursed her lips again and said so, but did not insist a second time.
After filling only her glass among the two she had brought, she downed it in one go and then spoke.
"So, what are you curious about?"
Dokyun watched her refill the empty glass.
A very cooperative attitude.
She still maintained an indifferent attitude towards Dokyun, but there seemed to be no intention to ignore him either.
Dokyun pondered as he watched the liquor filling the glass.
There were so many things he wanted to ask.
He still didn't know much about her.
Even though they had been together for a month, all he knew about her was her name, age, a few food preferences, and perhaps the mental illness she was suffering from.
No, he couldn't even be sure of that.
Who knows if she has other illnesses besides dissociative identity disorder.
Countless thoughts passed by, and numerous curiosities arose.
Yet, there was one question that needed to be asked first.
"Which side is the real one?"
Was the girl he had seen, with her clear smile and gentle warmth, truly her true self?
Or was it just a fabricated personality?
He wanted to know.
"If the desired answer is about who the true owner of this body is, then it's Go Eunah."
That's right.
Upon hearing those words, he found myself inexplicably relieved.
As she finished speaking and observed my expression, she chuckled and continued.
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
His body trembled.
Only then did he realize that his previous question might have caused discomfort to the person he was conversing with, and he was about to hastily apologize when she interjected.
"No need to apologize. Such a reaction is probably normal."
She replied nonchalantly and took a sip of her drink.
For a moment, tension rose in Dokyun as he watched her, but as she set down her glass, he spoke up.
"Um…"
"Go Eunseol."
"Yes?"
She glanced at me and spoke again.
"Call me Go Eunseol. You can't keep calling me 'her' or 'that person,' right?"
Go Eunseol.
Another personality introduced herself.
After briefly engraving that name in his mind, Dokyun opened his mouth again.
"Miss Go Eunseol."
"Speak."
"Are you the older sister?"
As the question ended, she briefly glanced at me and nodded affirmatively.
"That's right. According to Go Eunah, I am the older sister."
The first hypothesis among those proposed so far turned out to be correct.
Nodding in response to the answer he received, Dokyun proceeded to ask his next question.
"Then… Miss Eunseol, do you know that you are her other personality?"
Upon asking that question, a smile formed on her lips.
The face Dokyun looked at was adorned with a faint glow of satisfaction.
"Your intuition is sharp."
It was a positive response.
Once again, she filled the empty glass with alcohol and, with her gaze fixed on the glass, spoke.
"I think I've caught on to some extent… Yes, there's a hint of satisfaction in that."
"I can't distinguish between reality and fantasy very well."
After saying that and pausing for a moment, she raised the glass full of alcohol and spoke again.
"Well… I guess I don't really want to distinguish."
The answer that came made him feel a tightness in his chest, a frustrating feeling.
Even though he had expected it, the answer he heard made Dokyun feel uneasy.
"…Is it abuse?"
"Abuse…"
The most plausible answer Dokyun could think of was that.
Her obsessive behavior.
Her fixation on being a 'good girl.'
A seemingly mechanical lifestyle.
At the end of all that pointed in a certain direction, there was the assumption of abuse.
As she continued to ponder Dokyun's question for a moment, she looked at the half-empty glass and then spoke.
"Yes, I guess it's abuse."
It was an appropriate answer.
It was a statement made with just the right amount of sentiment.
"She probably doesn't want to admit it, but she would say the same thing no matter who she brought into the world."
Her eyes, as she spoke, seemed to be staring into the distance with a vacant look.
After briefly continuing her thoughts, she finished all the remaining alcohol in the glass, placed it on the table, and spoke.
"Is there anything else you're curious about?"
"Many things."
"Go ahead."
He wanted to ask about what kind of abuse she had suffered, what other illnesses she was suffering from, but she maintained a clear boundary and did not provide more than a certain amount of information.
The only fact he learned from the short conversation was that this unnie, Go Eunseol, was a quite calm and intelligent person.
The decadence that could be called a buried exhaustion emanating from her eyes was observing him coldly, hiding her body in apathy.
The words coming out of her mouth were skillfully using the superiority of the information she possessed to control him.
She was someone who knew how to press down on others with visible intimidating behavior and emanating coercion.
'Not an easy opponent.'
It wouldn't be as easy as the previous exchange with Eunah.
What she showed me was just the outline.
She did not provide any more information and indirectly expressed her intention to reject me by pouring more alcohol, turning the conversation after drinking it, etc.
Her visible attitude was cooperative, but since he didn't know who she was and what she wanted, he couldn't easily probe into it.
Perhaps, it means to figure it out for yourself.
Dokyun organized his thoughts and brought up the next question.
"What was that…"
It was a question about the empty eyes that had been devouring him until just now.
It was not a clear question, but he thought she would be able to understand it well enough.
As if his expectations were correct, she stopped filling the glass and stared at me.
What followed was not an answer but a quiz.
"What do you think?"
He remained silent in response to the presented problem.
Unable to find words to answer, he continued in silence.
Dokyun refined the question once again and spat it out to her.
"Is that also a personality?"
It was a question that revealed her multiple personalities and the lingering doubts that had not been resolved.
It was different from the manifestations of multiple personalities that Dokyun knew.
There didn't seem to be a noticeable difference that could distinguish it as another personality from 'Go Eunah', and the tone and gaze were too alien to simply attribute it to her seizures.
As Dokyun spoke and stared at her, she smiled and gave her response.
"Excellent. Seems like you're smarter than I thought."
"That means…"
"It's another personality."
Although the answer was given, the frustration did not dissipate. There were too many unexplained things, and as he tried to continue with further questions, a word popped out from her mouth.
"Yet."
That word heightened the significance.
"Can you explain in more detail?"
She had not poured herself a drink yet. Her gaze was fixed on me. At least in this aspect, it seemed like she was willing to explain further.
As Dokyun thought, she leaned back on the sofa with her arms crossed.
"Yeah, where should I start explaining…"
Saying so and closing her eyes seemed like a way to organize her thoughts.
After pondering for a moment on how to choose her words, she began to speak in a calm tone as if telling an old story.
"At first, there was only Go Eunah."
Her distant eyes seemed to be searching through a very distant past.
"While she was holding on alone, at a point where the stimuli crossed the threshold and became unbearable, that crazy guy appeared."
Saying so and tapping her forearm with her fingers for a moment, she leaned forward with her body resting on the sofa.
"Yeah, it's better to explain it this way."
Releasing her arms and picking up the bottle of alcohol again, she poured the drink into the glass.
Gurgle…
The empty glass began to fill up with golden liquid again.
"This glass represents the threshold that Go Eunah can withstand."
As the liquid in the glass rose above half.
"This alcohol represents the stimuli that Eunah received."
The glass was now full.
"And this overflowing amount represents that crazy guy."
As the glass was filled to the brim and the overflowing liquid spilled onto the table.
Thud.
She stopped pouring the alcohol and looked at Dokyun with a smile on her face.
"Eunah made a substitute to endure the stimulation that exceeded my threshold."
She said, raising her glass and taking a sip before continuing.
"It was a clever way to deal with it. Splitting oneself to erase the stimulation that crosses the threshold."
With that said, she suddenly burst into a dry laugh.
"But that was the problem."
Putting the glass down on her thigh, she lowered her eyes and continued speaking.
"That crazy Bitch didn't know how to stop."
As Dokyun listened to her words, he suddenly recalled the previous situation.
Stop… please…
No.
She tore at her wrist despite his plea.
Kick.
While still letting out a smile tinged with excitement.
Eunah, who glanced at him as if she could see through his thoughts, whispered a word with a smile.
"Go Eunchae."
When Dokyun looked at her, she added an explanation.
"That crazy bitch's name."
"Ah…"
A foolish sound escaped his lips.
"As you saw, once she starts, she has to finish it no matter what."
He seemed to understand what she was saying.
What Dokyun saw seemed like he would never stop the self-harm.
"So."
Her smile faded from Dokyun's view, and she continued in a low voice.
"I was created."
A somewhat hollow-sounding statement.
She was calmly talking about the process of her creation.
"That crazy bitch needed a brake to stop."
At first, Dohyun felt like her expression was disappearing.
"Now everything is perfect."
Her lips widened as she continued.
"Eunah can grasp the sweet fruit of being a 'good child,' and Eunchae can pour out her desires freely."
Dohyun wanted to ask her 'What about you?' but decided against it.
"So, all along, living without any problems, a problem suddenly erupted."
"A problem… you say."
Dokyun felt that she was about to talk about the main content and responded to her words.
She emptied the glass again and refilled it while speaking.
"That crazy bitch started to get greedy."
Greedy.
It was a sinister echo.
"She doesn't know how to stop, and she's impulsive. That's why she can't tolerate it."
She said, gripping the cup in her hand.
"She can't accept the fact that this body must be divided."
"…What do you mean."
She doesn't want to split, she's still another personality.
Dokyun opened his mouth to speak to the vague outline that appeared.
"Can I understand that the personality called Eunchae is trying to swallow you?"
After the words, a new expression appeared on her face.
"You're very perceptive."
"There's still something I don't understand."
Dokyun knew a little about the disorder of multiple personalities. It was a natural story in a way.
The treatment of multiple personalities ultimately ends with merging the personalities into one.
"But… if that happens, wouldn't the original personality, Eunah, survive?"
Her eyes, looking at him, drew a faint smile.
Dokyun, looking at her, felt a sense of discomfort in his chest for a moment.
Although they had the same face and expression, Eunah was not visible there.
"I told you, right? It's a bit messed up."
"Then…"
"Eunah is the one who gets devour. If Eunah is devoured, I can no longer control that crazy bitch."
"I'm still okay, but Eunah is already halfway devoured."
His fist clenched. The truth he faced was more urgent and dangerous than he had thought.
Only then did it make sense. She, who had been acting somewhat mechanically but impulsively, who would act like a madman once triggered.
As the impression settled on Dokyun's face, she added a word.
"So."
When she met his eyes, she, with a smile that could be called genuine, spoke.
"That's why we brought you here."
Silence.
His body froze. At the end of his gaze, he could see her staring at him.
'we.'
The word she casually threw out.
Dokyun was not so foolish as to not understand the meaning of that word.
"…Aren't you, Eunah, the end?"
Eunah will not be included in 'we'.
Moreover, from the atmosphere of the words conveyed, it felt like the 'we' did not refer to Eunah.
Her smile deepened at the question she was asked.
"Excellent."
The returned answer was affirmative.