I Unknowingly Rejected My Favorite

I’ve almost never been comforted in my life, but I rarely lamented that fact.

Now, though…

My mind went blank, I didn’t know what to say.

“Don’t make that face. You made me feel like I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Doah’s weak smile only amplified my self-loathing even more.

“Ah... Sorry...”

It was all my fault.

I was the one who persuaded her to play a horror game for the promise.

And I was also the one who went to the studio to help her out, in case she got really scared.

“Stop it. I told you to not say stuff like that, Oppa. I was the one at fault here…”

“How could it be? If I didn’t go, none of this would have happened.”

She wouldn’t be scolded by the company or hear any unpleasant words from the other CLOSER members.

Jennifer, the leader of CLOSER.

As the oldest member, she didn’t seem to have any intention of letting this matter slide.

In the group chat, where all other members could see, she practically humiliated Luka with harsh words and she had to keep repeating how sorry she was.

An emotion that I experienced for the first time surged.

Resentment toward Jennifer, who spoke so harshly to her, mixed with self-loathing over the fact that I was the one who put her in that situation, giving birth to an extreme displeasure.

Perhaps noticing that I became more and more drowned in my emotions, Doah got up from her seat and sat next to me.

“No, Oppa, I’m really fine. They said idols usually argue at least this much, you know?”

Ironically, I was the one who ended up getting comforted.

Maybe she tried to change the mood, Doah brought up a new topic.

“Besides, it wasn’t like they were only showing me bad reactions when I said that I have a boyfriend.”

Unable to understand, I tilted my head.

“Huh? Not all of them hate it?”

“Well… It isn’t like we’re the only ones dating, you know?”

A question mark popped up in my head.

What did that mean?

“Who else?”

“Are the other members dating too?”

Huh...?

Maybe because I only knew Doah in real life, I never imagined that the other members were doing the same.

I just assumed they were all single…

The thing that she said next showed me how mistaken I had been.

“Clover unnie said she’s been with her boyfriend for four years.”

That alone was already shocking, but the next one was even more so.

“While Fumurin asked me if I want to go on a double date?”

“...Was she actually being serious?”

Really? A double date?

We didn’t even know each other’s faces.

Just how much normie power did you even need to be able to suggest that?

“Honestly, I’m not sure if she was serious either. She said that right after I got scolded by Jennifer unnie, so I don’t know if she was just trying to comfort me or if she really meant it.”

When I saw her shrugging her shoulders, I finally felt a little relieved.

I was really worried that she might be getting bullied or something because of all this.

“At the very least, not everyone was super negative about it.”

“Oppa, we’re actually pretty close, you know? Our relationship isn’t 100% business.”

The conversation derailed to talks between their members, something they never revealed to their viewers.

Since it came up, I asked about the other members’ relationship status out of curiosity.

“Jennifer unnie said she’s not seeing anyone right now, and Leah said she’s not thinking about it. Currently, at least.”

“Really?”

“Talking about Leah suddenly reminds me of Junseok oppa.”

“True.”

Junseok said that Leah was his favorite.

Before we knew it, the advertisement production class only had the final presentation left.

“This is just hypothetical, but.”

Then, something suddenly came to my mind.

“What if Junseok and Leah dated?”

I knew how silly this was, but wouldn’t it be funny?

Always liked these kinds of silly and random questions.

“Hmm… But, would Junseok oppa like someone like Leah?”

“What’s she like?”

“Uh, she doesn’t talk much and she can’t really express herself well? She’s the type to only answer when asked directly.”

Ah... I got it.

She was like that in collabs too.

I just didn’t know that it was her real personality, not her character.

Since Doah and Luka showed such different sides, I mistakenly thought the others would be different as well.

“Well, Junseok is talkative, wouldn’t it be fine?”

“Maybe…”

“Ah, right, what does she look like?”

That guy seemed to care a lot about looks.

Still, she said that she prepared herself for musicals, so she must have been on the stage often. Chances were, she was really pretty…

“Oppa.”

Doah raised her index finger and poked my cheek.

“Is Luka not enough for you? You’re going for Leah too now?”

“What? No, it’s just—”

“Shush.”

She narrowed her eyes before attacking my sides.

“Apologize right now.”

“But why? I really wasn’t thinking about it that way!”

“You perverted Lucario.”

As my girlfriend’s finger launched a fierce attack on my side, I, who was weak to tickles, eventually raised both hands in surrender.

“Okay okay, I was wrong... But I really wasn’t thinking that?”

“You’re finally laughing.”

Doah stopped and looked at my face, smiling along.

“When I got scolded, I felt really bad, but I’m already okay now. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

I swear I was the older one here.

Getting her to be considerate of me again made me irritated at myself.

“Doah, if you want to do a double date, let me know.”

Going back to our conversation, I tried to figure out what I could do for her.

“If you think you can get closer to her with that, we can do it.”

If it helps her work life even just this much, I could bear one day...

Even if I felt awkward just from thinking about it, surely I could endure it for a day if I put my mind into it.

“...Really?”

She sounded like she didn’t expect this, so I nodded as my irritation doubled.

“Yeah, of course.”

Just, why the hell did I have to answer like that at the time?

* * *

For the last day’s presentations, everyone came to class dressing up all nicely.

Standing between Oppa’s apartment building and mine, I lifted my head when I heard his voice.

“Wow...”

He was wearing a beige coat with a white shirt inside.

Usually, you wouldn’t see him wearing anything other than sneakers, but he came out in loafers today.

“Doah!”

“Wait…! Don’t come any closer!”

I reached out my hand to stop him from approaching.

“Huh? Why?”

“Just stand still for a moment.”

They said that you should admire good things for a long time.

And since he looked crazy handsome right now, I wanted to do exactly that.

“...Can I come closer now?”

“Yes.”

Seriously, he didn’t even work out, how could his shoulders be so broad?

I just didn’t get it!

We walked to school while holding hands and I ended up stealing glances at him the entire way.

How could he be so handsome?

Now I realized that there was a reason why Manager unnie gave him her business card as soon as she saw him.

This man really radiated a model-like aura.

While I was sneaking peeks at him like that, our eyes met and I froze stiff like a statue, as if I had looked into Medusa’s eyes.

“Uh...”

“Yes...?”

I awkwardly smiled.

“Is there something weird about me today?”

“Huh? No? You look like, totally cool?”

“Ah... I thought maybe I dressed strangely since you kept looking.”

Oppa lowered his head to check his outfit again.

“Do I really look okay?”

“O-Of course!”

If anything, I wanted him to dress like this from now on! But I didn’t say that out loud.

He was already so popular when he never put in any effort in his looks, there was no way I’d be able to handle it if he dressed like this regularly.

“Ugh, it is uncomfortable though.”

Bear with it! Please bear that level of discomfort for me!

As we entered through the campus main gate and into the lecture hall, the unique bustling atmosphere of the last day rushed in.

“Woah. You know, appearance wise, it would be a hundred times better if you’re the one who presents.”

Junseok oppa said that jokingly, but Taemin oppa shook his head vigorously.

“Hell no, I don’t want to ruin my grades on the last day.”

“Doahhh!”

When Minji linked arms with me, I also greeted her happily.

“Hi Minji.”

“If the professor’s evaluation is good today, should we have a get-together?”

“Get-together?”

“Like, we’ve been together all semester, but we haven’t had a proper meal together, no? Exams are over too, so why don’t we go out and drink?”

I glanced to the side and saw Taemin oppa’s eyes trembling.

Seeing his entire body sending a signal that he absolutely didn’t want to, I smiled and tried to give a good excuse.

“Drinking might be a bit hard since Oppa and I still have exams left, so how about just getting some food?”

“Ah, a light drink then?”

Minji must really like alcohol.

“A light drink should be fine. What about you, Junseok oppa? Will you come too?”

“I already got him on board before you couple arrived!”

“Yeah, let’s eat together.”

Junseok oppa, who was flipping through the presentation slides, tapped Taemin oppa’s elbow.

“I was planning to pay for drinks anyway since your girlfriend really carried the creation of the VR video.”

When my name was mentioned, Taemin oppa finally surrendered.

“Alright... Since Doah worked hard and all...”

But why were you looking at me with eyes like a cow being dragged to the slaughterhouse, mister?

The alcohol-filled reunion with him wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

***

https://ko-fi.com/genesisforsaken