I Thought It Was a Fairy Tale but the Genre Is Strange

50th – Hansel and Gretel (4)

“Y-you’re insane! Just what are you?!”

Adel exclaimed, his voice rising before he quickly clapped a hand over his mouth, realizing he’d been too loud. I grinned and said,

“Someone who likes happy endings.”

“…Did you maybe hit your head?”

Adel stared at me, dumbfounded. He had a look like, ‘What kind of guy is this?’ which for some reason made me feel a little awkward.

“Ahem, anyway, I’m planning to escape this place.”

“You think you can actually beat that insane cannibal couple? They’re more dangerous than you can imagine!”

“Even if it’s dangerous, we have to move forward. But, couple? Aren’t they siblings?”

He let out a hollow laugh, completely flabbergasted by my words.

“Hah! There’s no way they’re siblings! How can siblings be kissing and groping each other, engaging in such lewd acts? You know how disgusting their tastes are? Ugh, they do it on purpose in front of the hostages who are going to be their food…!”

“Ugh, okay, that’s enough.”

Any more and my ears would probably rot. So Hansel and Gretel really did those kinds of things? They’re siblings. Could it be that siblings loved each other like that? Ugh, either way, I’ve gotten information I didn’t want and it’s making my imagination go wild; my head feels tainted.

“Either way, I’m going to subdue them and escape. I’ll probably get out if I take down the witch, Gretel.”

“Hmm, alright. I’ll help too. My rock-solid muscles possess a power beyond imagination!”

Adel rolled up his sleeves and flexed, trying to show off his muscles. But all that happened was his flab jiggled; there wasn’t a single muscle to be found.

“……Huh? That’s weird. B-but I definitely had incredible muscles just a few days ago!”

“Yep.”

The situation isn’t good. Even though I’ve woken up, Aerial and Alice, who are much stronger than me, are still asleep.

If at least one of them were here, I’d feel truly secure, but right now, the only person who might help is that soft-muscled, hairy dwarf, Adel.

Hmm, I doubt he’d be much help in a fight. If things go south, I’d have to protect him while fighting, but right now, I’m barely able to take care of myself. And while I could manage if it was just Gretel, if Hansel joins the fray, it’ll be a 2-on-1 situation and things will be even worse.

I can only hope Hansel is staying quietly in his room.

“Let’s move quietly first.”

Adel, his muscles turned to flab, nodded with a sulky face. We pressed ourselves against the hard candy wall and headed for the stairs going up. Seeing only upward stairs, it seems there’s nowhere to go down, so I guess this is the basement.

The sweet smell of candy is stabbing my nose, enough to numb my sense of smell. And maybe because of the magic woven into the candy, I feel this urge to lick it, making my mouth water. But we firmly suppressed the urge and climbed the stairs. This time, it’s not the walls but the stairs themselves that are made of candy. Which means the steps we’re treading on are incredibly sticky.

“Haa, haa!”

Heavy breathing from behind. Hearing a sound I didn’t expect, I turned around with a hopeful heart.

“Delicious! It’s so delicious! Ah, how can it be so sweet!”

Adel, his eyes glued on the candy with a lustful, sticky gaze, was licking the candy wall with his thick tongue. I slapped my forehead at the sight.

“What are you doing right now! This isn’t the time to be eating that!”

“It’s so tasty! I can’t seem to stop because it’s so sweet!”

“Ugh! That’s why you’re so fat!”

I struggled to pull him away from the candy wall, but despite his small frame, he was unbelievably strong and wouldn’t budge. It was like his feet were fixed in place. Fixed in place? Suddenly sensing something strange, I checked beneath his feet.

For some reason, the candy step he was standing on was melting under his feet, sinking deeper and deeper.

Could it be a trap made with the possibility of escaped captives in mind? While distracted by the candy, your legs get slowly sucked into the candy stairs, and in the end you can’t get out.

Crap, that applies to me too!

I quickly turned my eyes to my feet. Not as bad as Adel, but as expected, my feet were slowly being pulled into the stairs.

The stickiness and tackiness were beyond imagination, making it hard to pull my feet out, like being caught in a roach trap. Still, since my feet weren’t sucked in as much as Adel’s, I was able to pull myself out of the sticky candy swamp, sweating bullets.

Meanwhile, Adel…

He was already buried up to his ankles in the stairs.

“Haa, haa! It’s so sweet! It’s exhilarating! The best taste ever!”

Ugh, he’s completely gone. There’s no reasoning with him like this. I aimed the sickle’s blade at his ankle. As if sensing a threat to his life, Adel’s eyes suddenly widened.

“Wh-what are you doing! J-just a minute! I’m fine! I’m, I’m better now!”

“What do you mean ‘better’? You won’t be able to move if I don’t cut it now.”

“No! Just a minute. I, I can do it! I can move without cutting! Just wait a second!”

His face pale, Adel strained the veins in his neck, trying to pull his leg out. He pulled with all his might, his face turning beet red, but far from seeing results, he only sunk deeper in as time passed.

“That’s why I said we need to cut it. Move, it’s dangerous.”

“Ugh! You crazy b*stard! S-stop! I said don’t do it!”

“No, I have to. It’s just for a second, so bear with it even if it’s uncomfortable.”

“This is way beyond uncomfortable!”

I shrugged and swung the sickle down in a flash.

“aaagh!!”

Adel let out a scream, turning his head away as if he couldn’t bear to watch and shrinking into himself. The feeling of being cut by the blade was vividly conveyed.

“Huh?”

As a result of neatly cutting through the stairs that had swallowed his ankle, Adel ended up wearing square, candy-made shoes. He blinked for a few seconds without moving, seemingly dumbfounded by how different the result was from what he’d expected.

“O… so you weren’t going to cut my foot?”

“Well, do you think I’d be crazy enough to cut off your ankle, old man?”

“Ha, haha! R-right? Whew, that was close. You gave me a real fright! When you said you were just going to cut it off, of course, I thought you meant you were cutting my ankle!”

“What did you take me for to think something like that?”

“Hahaha! Sorry, sorry!”

He laughed heartily and patted my back. I quickly clamped my hand over his mouth, sealing off the laughter.

“Ugh, keep it down. We’ll get caught like this. We’re at a disadvantage as it is, we need a surprise attack to have any chance.”

“Ughh!”

Adel nodded as if he understood. Or, he tried to nod. Seeing his wildly shaking pupils, I sensed an ominous unease. I followed his rigid gaze, turning my head.

At the top of the stairs. There stood Hansel, a blonde-haired behemoth, scratching his south-of-the-border belly and yawning languidly, looking down at us.

Damn! We really got caught! Okay, okay, stay calm. At least Gretel doesn’t know about this yet. We can quickly subdue him without making a fuss.

Looking at Hansel’s shadow engulfing us all, thanks to the outside light, I thought:

Can we really subdue him without making a fuss? It’s a narrow stairwell to be fighting in. If we end up fighting that giant Hansel, there’s bound to be a lot of noise.

We held our breath, watching to see what Hansel would do.

“Mmm… sleepy.”

His state was strange. As if just woken up, his unfocused eyes were staring blankly into the void. Not at us.

As soon as I realized that, I signaled Adel to stay still, and he frantically blinked his eyes as if to say he understood, his face stiff as a board.

“Mmm… slurp.”

Saliva dripped from Hansel’s mouth. For a second, a chill ran down my spine, wondering if he was hungry seeing us, but thankfully, he didn’t pounce on us or call out for Gretel. He just stood there, blank.

Ugh, my heart’s going to burst. It was beating like crazy, just like when I played that horrific tag with Alice.

“Haaam, so sleepy.”

Hansel moves. He lifts a leg as heavy as a hippo’s and moves to the side. Thump thump. His footsteps shook the whole house, making my heart beat even faster. As the sound faded and his figure disappeared completely from the top of the stairs…

“Phew!”

A sigh of relief escaped me. We almost screwed up big time. Adele also looked like a weight had been lifted. We cautiously climbed the stairs again. I was worried that Adele might succumb to the lure of the candy again and cause a ruckus, but thankfully, after facing the risk of having her ankles chopped off, she seemed to have come to her senses. We managed to pass through without incident.

Just as I was thinking how lucky we were not to be caught…

“Hoo… Hoo…”

Heavy breathing came from beside us. The hot air from the desperate gasps hit my face.

Adele and I exchanged glances at the same time, swallowing hard. Then, slowly, we turned our heads.

“Heheheheck! There you are! My delicious lunch!”

Hansel charged at us, drooling like a waterfall.