I, the Firstborn of the Demon King

The horse's hooves sank into the wet, muddy soil, leaving deep tracks behind. The rain was falling heavily today. Although the young man’s rheumatic pains, which struck at his knees, had already predicted this, he hadn’t expected it to rain this much.

The rain, initially deceptive in its light drizzle, seemed manageable for Remus, who had intended to travel to the city from the town inn where he had been staying for the past few days. This amount of rain wouldn’t be a problem for him; he would also save unnecessary time. With the horse he had borrowed, he thought he could reach the city in five or six hours at most. At least, that was his naive thinking.

Now, despite several hours having passed, he hadn’t even reached the nearest village, let alone the city. Completely drenched, he aimlessly wandered about, dragging the old horse with him helplessly. Though he found it hard to admit, he was lost.

The rain was already like a curtain, and on top of that, instead of finding shelter, he had used up the time he didn’t want to waste and searched for the city, only to burden himself even more. These two factors had caused him to stray significantly from the city’s path, which he would normally have found easily. Unable to think calmly, he didn’t realize he was making his situation worse.

From his perspective, however, it wasn’t unreasonable for him to be stressed and in a hurry. The parchment tucked into the belt of his leather armor was carrying important news that needed to reach the capital on time, no matter what. In this case, it could be said that the message he carried was more valuable than his own life.

The occasional flashes of lightning and claps of thunder only added to the misery. When lightning struck a nearby tree, Remus flinched involuntarily, and the horse, reacting similarly, bucked him off with a jolt and galloped away into the forest.

Before the young man could recover from the initial shock, he was thrown forcefully off the horse. When his back hit the ground, he felt an excruciating pain shoot through him, accompanied by a sickening crack that echoed in his ears, and a sudden flash of lightning blazed through his vision.

"Hcgk!"

Blood surged up his throat, and as he struggled to breathe, it sprayed rapidly from his mouth onto his own face. As his back arched in pain, he quickly realized he couldn’t breathe. His eyes widened, and his heart pounded against his chest, aggravating the pain of his already fractured ribs. Groaning in agony, he tried to look around.

But it was futile; his vision blurred like water, confirming the pain that pulled him towards unconsciousness, shrinking his field of view into a dark vignette. His struggle against the urge to faint and his effort to cling to the last remnants of his consciousness didn’t help him. The next moment, he had already lost his senses.

…

My body is burning; it feels like it’s being torn apart piece by piece. No, this sensation resembles the burning feeling caused by extreme cold. It not only numbs my skin but also causes excruciating pain that seems to affect even my internal organs.

My bones and all my joints are stiff, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m decaying from the inside out. Breathing is torture; my eyes are blind, and my own screams echo in my ears.

Is this death?

Is this what death feels like?

To say the least, all the pain he had endured paled in comparison to this. Despite his young age, he had seen war multiple times and had been subjected to torture. Yet he still thought this way. But this pain wasn’t just physical; it was the kind of pain that could even scorch a person’s soul.

Even so, Remus couldn’t help but think bitterly, “If only I could have held on a bit longer. If only I could have brought that message to the capital.” Even in the face of death, these thoughts gnawed at his mind. But it was too late; there was nothing he could do. What remained of his fading self was left with nothing but a cacophony of regret, guilt, and sadness before completely disappearing.

Before he completely faded…

---

Darkness...

So empty...

So numb...

Too quiet and dark to feel any comfort.

I don’t know where I am... Am I even anywhere? I can’t tell.

I’m floating. I’m in a void. It feels like I have no weight at all. I’m like a paralyzed body, yet I can still move. Or can I? In this darkness, where nothing can be seen, where I can’t feel a single thing, how do I know I’m moving?

I don’t know, I really don’t. But somehow, I feel like I am.

Not like an object or a living being, but like a ghost or a spirit with no weight.

...

I don’t know how much time has passed. Minutes, hours, days, or weeks? I’m not even sure if this place, wherever it is, has any concept of time.

If I had to guess, I’d say this is the place you go after death. That means I must be dead. Or maybe I’ve been in a dream all this time, and I won’t know until I wake up. But right now, if I think about it, I must be where the dead come. An endless void. The fact that I feel so light and that I feel like I’m floating could mean I really am just a soul right now. I guess, with no other logical explanation, I’ll go with that for now.

...

I’m so bored...

After a while, I stopped counting the minutes. But I think a lot of time has passed. Weeks, maybe even months. I can’t sleep, I can’t rest, I don’t get hungry. There’s nothing...

I can’t do anything, I can’t find anything. I’m trapped in pure nothingness. I wonder if there are other souls like me here. It feels strange if there aren’t. I mean, I can’t be the only one who died, right?

I guess, even though this place is so dark and unseen, it might be an infinite void for souls.

...

I want to get out... Someone, please help me! Please, someone! Anyone... Please...

I don’t know how long I’ve been here... Maybe months, maybe years, maybe even centuries! I want to die, to completely cease to exist! I can’t take this anymore! Every time I say that, I feel like I’m cursing myself, like I’m eating my words. Because no matter what I say, no matter how much I say I can’t take it, there’s no other option! No matter what I do, I’m trapped in this endless void. I can’t escape! I can’t free myself!

“Curse you!”

Huh? Did I... Did I just hear a voice? It’s a lie... It must be... My mind... My mind is just playing tricks on me... isn’t it?

“Curse you!”

No! It’s really someone’s voice. It’s coming from so far away. Echoing and vibrating, genderless, an androgynous voice. For some reason, it sounds angry. Even I can feel its rage and despair.

But finally, someone!

I started moving—swimming, flying—toward the direction of the voice. The sound was farther away than I thought. Because even after hours, I still hadn’t reached my destination.

I guess I was never good at finding my way. Even though I don’t remember my life before I died, somehow I feel that way.

“Curse you...”

The voice echoed again from far away. But somehow, it sounded closer. That means I was on the right track. I mean, without a real path, I’ve been trying my best. Maybe if I called out too, it would be easier? We’d be searching for each other, and it would be faster to meet up.

But... what if they can’t hear me? I’ve tried to speak and shout many times before. But no sound came out of my mouth—if you could even call it that.

So, how is this person doing it?

“Curse you!”

Huh? When I turned around, I saw a small speck of light, as tiny as a needle’s tip, far in the distance. Was that them?

I quickly moved toward it. But, for some reason, that upset soul, or whatever it was, was heading in the opposite direction. And it was moving so fast that it looked like a shooting star or a falling meteor.

A shooting star? A falling meteor?

These are terms that don’t seem familiar to me, yet somehow I know them. Actually, I don’t know; they just crossed my mind.

They must be things I knew from my past life.

...

No matter what I did, I couldn’t catch up to them, these strange glowing things. And every passing second, they seemed to be fading away. A faint, almost invisible glowing line trailed behind them. It was as if it marked all the paths they had taken. One was a dull gray, almost drained, while the other was closer to white, more prominent.

I realized I wouldn’t be able to catch up to these two connected souls no matter what I did.

Ahh, I had been so happy when I finally found someone... What a shame for real...

So, I turned in the direction of the more prominent line left by the white soul. At least, it was the only thing I’d seen in the darkness for so long that looked like a path. Whether out of curiosity or not, I had nothing to lose by following it to its end. On the contrary, I now had a reason to waste more time.

With these thoughts, I began to move.

...

I’ve gotten used to long journeys by now. If I were alive, it would probably have taken a year or several months to reach the end of this glowing line. Part of me hopes to find something—maybe an exit? An escape? But the other part already knows the truth. There’s no escape from here.

Still, no matter what, this light that looks like a ray of hope in the darkness binds me to hope, even if it ends in disappointment. Maybe, just maybe, there’s a tiny chance, and I convince myself with that. And this tiny chance becomes my world, my obsession, my last lifeline.

I really want to escape.

As I thought about this, I didn’t realize I had reached the end of the line. Or that it had even ended.

I quickly turned around, but contrary to my hopes, there was no exit or sign of salvation.

No...

No!

I knew this would happen, didn’t I? I was aware I shouldn’t get so attached to my fantasy. But still, I couldn’t help myself, even though I knew it would end in disappointment.

As I looked at the end of the line, I thought again. Was this really the end of the trail left behind by that soul, like a tail? Was it just something ordinary, a memory hanging in eternity? Maybe, even though I couldn’t see it, I had been leaving such a tail all along.

When I got close to the end of the tail, something happened that I didn’t expect. It suddenly started glowing and expanding, and I was too shocked to comprehend it, as all I could do was stare dumbly as I was pulled inside it.

What’s happening?!

What’s happening?!?!

I feel like I’m being dragged somewhere, like a vortex, a tornado, or something similar is pulling me into its depths.

“Curse you... curse you...”

What are these voices I’m hearing in my ears?

What’s going on?!!

“Take them.”

Take what?! What are you talking about?!

But before I could process it further, or think, I clung to consciousness, to my consciousness?!

"Bwaaah!!"

*

And, that time they got reborn to a new life...