Chapter 54. I dont mind going to hell by your hand.
“Thank you for your time today.”
“I didn’t do much. You did most of the solving by yourself.”
There’s a big difference between having someone explain to you and not having an explanation at all. That’s why Violette is grateful to Claudia who helped her in her study.
The study session ended when the sky began to darken. The four of them started to clean up the table at the end of the session. The writing utensils, books and papers disappeared to their bags one by one.
Violette and Yulan stood up after putting their things into their bags, and turned to the two people who still remained standing with them and bowed their heads. No, it was only Violette who bowed, while Yulan just plastered a fake smile on his face.
“I am sorry to have disturbed you, Mirania-sama.”
“Have a safe trip home. See you later, Yulan.”
“Sorry to bother you.”
Mirania smiles briskly. He keeps smiling untill they leaves the room. His overly perfect smile looks a little terrifying.
“Now, if you’ll excuse us.”
Violette follows Yulan, who turns his back on her after the last-minute greeting. She looked back at the room one more time before closing the door. It was not particularly funny to see Mirania waving his hand as their eyes met.
Behind her, Claudia, who looked away, was also lightly waving his hand to her, which was somewhat funny.
It made her a little happy.
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“…… you’re in a good mood.”
“What?”
She’s been smiliing the whole time.
“I’m not at …….”
Violette wanted to deny, but it was an irresistible feeling that made her close her mouth. It’s human nature to be bothered when people say things like that. Someone like Violette, who usually wears an iron mask, people might be curious about her expression if she suddenly smiled losing her tight expression.
But fortunately, Violette’s expression is not loose. For ordinary people, she is still as mysterious as ever.
To Yulan, Violette’s expression appears as if she is smiling in a good mood. To Yulan, Violette’s smile is more precious than any other treasure in the world. That’s why he is bothered by such a suffocating feeling. Because her smile today was not for him.
“……It was a lot of fun, wasn’t it?”
“Yulan ……?”
Yulan stops suddenly, and Violette stops as well.
When she looked beside to see what was going on, Yulan’s face was downcast and his eyes were hidden by his bangs, making it difficult to tell what is he thinking. Yulan’s expression was hard to make out because his eyes were hidden by his bangs. Even though she could see her face it is his golden eyes that she couldn’t read.
If Yulan hides them as if hiding a secret, no one can tell what he’s really thinking.
“What’s wrong, Yulan? If we don’t go soon, the gate will be closed.……”
“Vio-chan”.
A clear voice reaches to her ears with a slight tremor.
It was always a pleasant moment for Yulan when he called her name. For Yulan, the fact that he could call Violette by her nickname brings greatest joy to him. He feels as if he is showing off a sparkling treasure, conveying his bubbling heart and secret feelings without hiding them.
Words as important as the confession of love.
That is why he did not want anyone to call Violette by a nickname. He wanted to be the only one who could call her by a nickname. Because that simple name conveys his feelings for her.
“Were you happy to talk to Claudia?”
Violette’s smile is all he needed. There is nothing more precious than her smile. For Yulan, it is an immutable fact, and there are no exceptions.
Therefore, if Violette was happy, there was nothing more important than that. He could endure any hardship just in exchange of her smile.
Until he saw Violette in front of Claudia with an happy smile on her face. He thought he could face any obstacle just for her to be happy.
It’s okay if Violette is happy.
It’s okay if Violette laughs.
If it had been someone else, …… if it had been Mirania, Yulan could have forgiven her. He wouldn’t have bat an eyelash on whom she laughs with.
But Claudia, no.
Just not that man.
Yulan wanted to please Violette. He wanted to help her. He doesn’t care how he feels for that. He doesn’t care what he have to do to make her happy.
The feeling towards her is not a lie. It has never not changed.
If Violette wants, she can return to Claudia whenever she wants. She can pass her time with him now. They can always get together again tomorrow in the same way.
Yulan can still declare that he doesn’t care about anything else except for Violette. He would do anything for her in a heartbeat.
That is why Yulan is so shaken now.
If it was something else, it didn’t matter to him. If it was someone else, he didn’t care. Even if Claudia was with someone else, he wouldn’t have cared.
Because it was Violette, because Violette laughed, he felt so suffocated.
Because with just one smile, Violette can go to heaven. And with just one smile, she can send him to hell.
Since all he want is Violette’s happiness, he can swallow this bitter feeling. If Violette is pleased, Yulan will gladly choose hell.