I Possessed the Heroine’s Teacher

Recently, I felt like I’ve been neglecting teaching Iris. My job is not a host, but a teacher who teaches Iris. I should gradually move on to the advanced stage of using spirits and give her more practical experience.

Moreover, magic is a core system in ‘Dragnity Fantasy 2’, so I must teach it. To do that, I had to buy textbooks first.

I logged into the Akashic Magician Record, a community for mages, by infusing magic power into a dedicated crystal ball. The Akashic Magician Record is a community site similar to a marketplace for mages, where they can trade magic tools and books, consult with young mages, and have in-depth discussions on magic theory.

A prompt asking for my ID and password appeared. Of course, Werner would have his own account, but unfortunately, the setting book didn’t provide that information, so I had to create my own ID.

ID: whitesnake204
Password: rip200

[Welcome, White Snake Wizard.]

After logging in, I started browsing the community. Wasn’t this community supposed to be a place for trading magic tools and books, consulting with young mages, and having in-depth discussions on magic theory? Of course, such posts do exist.

Let me ask you one question.

First of all, mages are a tribe that enjoys being locked up in their labs and hates outdoor activities. Because they live alone, they lack social skills. And because they’re locked up in their labs, they have few opportunities to talk to others.

Lastly, while some mages have mastered all attributes of magic, most of them focus on one attribute and learn the others as a side dish. So they even fight over which attribute of magic they have mastered is the best.

People who lack social skills, dislike outdoor activities, are locked up indoors, and rarely talk to others, if they are given a place to talk anonymously and have enough topics to argue about, what will happen?

The answer is ‘artistic bullshit.’

Title: Is magic that shoots rays that burn the target considered light magic or fire magic?
Author: Purutpurut
Content: First of all, you need to summon a light-type spirit, but since it incinerates the target, it requires fire magic’s mana control, right?

ㄴ The First Flame: Since the mana control belongs to the fire category, it’s basically fire magic with a light magic skin on top.
ㄴ BitchIsHere: What nonsense are you guys spouting? It’s a beam, you idiots.
ㄴㄴ The First Flame: It contains thermal energy, doesn’t it? Is your head flickering like the light beam too?
ㄴㄴㄴ BitchIsHere: Straight to insults, huh? How old are you? The kid who burned his mother while being born?
ㄴㄴㄴㄴ The First Flame: I’m 302, you piece of sh*t.
ㄴ BeastLover: This looks exactly like the topic of the report I submitted today, doesn’t it? Solve your homework with your own effort.
ㄴㄴ Purutpurut: Shove it, you bald fat pig.

________________________________________

Title: Honestly, isn’t water-type magic useless?
Author: StrongestLightning
Content: It’s lacking in offense, defense, and convenience. What’s the point of using it at all?

ㄴ The First Flame: It provides water when you’re thirsty.
ㄴㄴ StrongestLightning: That was it!
ㄴ The Noble Ice Wolf: Tell them to study magic that makes wine instead~~~!!!
ㄴ PiggyPig: If you’re going to use water magic, just study earth magic instead, haha~
ㄴㄴ WaterIsOrigin: I didn’t want to say this, but you’re really showing your age with comments like that.

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Title: The reason Werner is a total joke
Author: IWantToStabWerner’sGut
Content: He’s got talent, but when it comes to theory, he’s just a plain idiot. In short, he’s a meathead who’s only good at fighting.

ㄴ EssenceOfMagic: You piece of… this brat… spreading false rumors again…!
ㄴㄴ IWantToStabWerner’sGut: You’re stinking up the place with your old man smell, get lost.
ㄴ MeteorIsSummoningMagic: Just go wash your feet and get some sleep, kid.
ㄴㄴ IWantToStabWerner’sGut: Nah, my feet are super clean.
ㄴ MagicThatDestroysEvenGods: Here comes the wannabe favorite magician again.
ㄴㄴ IWantToStabWerner’sGut: If you don’t like it, let’s go. I’m an archmage, you know?
ㄴ WhiteSnake: Yep, this is right. That guy’s magic incantations from back in the day were a real sight to behold.
ㄴㄴ IWantToStabWerner’sGut: You’re the only normal one here.
ㄴㄴ BitchIsHere: Look, the unpopular magician duo has gathered, wow.
ㄴㄴ The First Flame: Welcome, self-proclaimed archmages.

Look at these maggots fighting. This place is a trash heap where everyone from apprentices to archmages gathers. They’re still saying whatever they want because they think they’re anonymous. Do you know what’s funny? These guys use honorifics when they meet in private.

They say things in anonymous spaces that they wouldn’t say in real life. It’s no different from the internet communities I know.

Anyway, regardless of these maggots, I have to take care of my own business.

Title: Recommend a magic book to teach my disciple.
Author: White Snake
Content: I’ve only taught the basics, but I need to teach the next step. Any recommendations?

ㄴ Destroying Gods with Magic: Are you pretending to have a disciple, you idiot?
ㄴ Werner is God: I recommend <100 Chants of Magic Founded by Werner>.
ㄴㄴ White Snake: Go die, you bastard.
ㄴ Abyssal Guide of Darkness: I recommend .
ㄴㄴ White Snake: Are your parents okay? Should I put flowers on their graves?

As is often the case with anonymous spaces, there were no useful answers to the question. Should I just gather these maggots for a meetup and wipe them all out? I could slaughter them so that they can’t even open their mouths.

Then a personal message arrived with a ringing sound. It was that admirable friend who wanted to stab my belly.

IWantToStabWerner’sGut: Hey, friend~ Do you need a textbook for teaching magic?

Just from the way he spoke, I could tell he didn’t have any friends in real life. But he seemed to have some value, so I replied.

IWantToStabWerner’sGut: Then I’ll send it to you~ for free. Send me your address.

I was in a dilemma. My residence was a secret. After all, everyone’s home address is private information. But the fact that it was free was attractive.

Safety or money, that is the question. But I soon came to a conclusion.

The great adventurer Christopher Columbus said:

“Ah, I love gold!!!”

Werner is not only a great wizard but also an adventurer. So it’s only natural to follow the words of a great adventurer.

I sent my home address without hesitation. To be honest, what could happen if a low-level wizard who just talks trash about me attacks me? Besides, Camellia, a master swordsman, lives in my house. With both physical and magical attacks covered, what could I possibly worry about?

Soon, I received a message from the guy who wanted to stab my belly.

IWantToStabWerner’sGut: I sent it through a spirit, so it should arrive soon~! I don’t give it to anyone, but since I’m giving it to you, thank me a lot.

How can he advertise that he has no friends with every word he writes? I thought this was a talent.

I sent a brief thank you and removed the magic from the crystal ball. Those crazy wizards.

Anyway, I was very happy to save money. I wasn’t in a difficult financial situation, but people should save money. Greed only brings destruction. Columbus eventually fell, didn’t he?

Now, when the textbook arrives, I can teach Iris some magic and then take on quests like monster extermination under the pretext of practical training.

Then I can easily make money and gain experience for Iris. What a great plan.

This meticulous plan, this brilliant mind, who can follow me? Come out if you can! I’ll be respected and become the best all-knowing teacher!

Then, Iris knocked on my door.

“Master, your cute disciple is here.”

“I don’t know anyone like that, so please leave.”

Despite my sincerity, Iris took my words as a joke and eventually opened the door and came in.

“I heard a sound outside the door, and this magic book arrived. Is this what you ordered, Master?”

I don’t know who the guy who wanted to stab my belly is, but he would definitely succeed in the food delivery business.