LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 32
“Today, the weather is really nice, Miss.”
“Indeed it is.”
Julia looked out the window where the curtains were drawn.
The sun was slowly setting, signaling that summer was on its way, even though they hadn’t had dinner yet.
The wilting flowers were telling her that spring was coming to an end.
“Could you bring the wheelchair for me?”
“Miss! No way!”
“Yes. I want to go flower viewing before it’s too late.”
“······!”
The maid was at a loss for words as she saw Julia’s faint smile.
Julia, who had always just sat in bed and read books, was now saying she wanted to go outside by herself.
She had always been confined to her room unless someone dragged her out.
“I’ll get it right away!”
“I’m not going anywhere. You can take your time.”
Fearing that Julia might change her mind, the maid lifted her skirt slightly and dashed down the corridor.
Every servant in the mansion, including Madam Lichtenburg, wanted to give Julia a chance to bask in the sunlight, even a little, since her face had turned as pale as it could be.
“Hehe! What outfit do you want to wear?”
“Why are you so excited…?”
“Well, it’s not every day that I get to dress you in outdoor clothes. It’s only natural to be happy!”
“······.”
Watching the maid rummage through the wardrobe, Julia let out a sigh.
Before she knew it, she was being treated like a dressing doll.
After much hesitation, the maid finally held up a white dress.
“I’ll wear that.”
“This? But you bought this a long time ago, and it might not fit you…”
“No, it’ll fit.”
Julia spoke in a decisive tone.
She was certainly aware that her body had hardly grown over the past few years.
“Oh my, it fits perfectly.”
“······.”
As the maid dressed her, Julia felt a deeper sense of misery.
Now, I can’t even change my clothes by myself anymore.
The thought that the lifespan of this body had less than a decade left kept creeping into her mind.
What meaning is there in this repetitive life?
In this life where I alone live forever…
Why on earth was I born to such a fate?
“Shall we go out now?”
“······ Let’s.”
There was no point in lamenting her situation.
She had tried to escape this cycle of reincarnation countless times over many lives.
The only thing she realized as a result was that there was no way other than to simply accept this hellish life.
“Oh no… The cherry blossoms have all fallen. But there should still be some that haven’t, right?”
“······.”
The wheelchair slowly rolled forward.
The flowers in the garden that had been vibrant just a short while ago were already wilting and lying on the ground.
As Julia rested her chin on her hand, a dull sigh escaped her lips.
After decades, here she was, finally going to see the flowers.
If she had known it would be like this, she might as well have stayed inside and read a book.
Should I go back now?
Just as she thought that…
She turned her head toward the main gate.
And locked eyes with an unexpected figure.
“Miss! Here you are! There are still flowers that haven’t fallen!”
The maid’s voice from afar didn’t reach Julia’s ears at all.
All her nerves were focused on the man beyond the main gate.
Schlus Hainkel.
The boy she had known in her past life when she was Julia von Eisburg.
Back then, he was a little kid around ten years old while she was twenty.
Now, the roles had reversed—she was a girl of about ten, and he was a young man of twenty.
“Yul…”
A trembling voice escaped the man’s lips.
What was going to happen next was painfully obvious.
What had happened countless times before was about to unfold again.
Since Schlus seemed to have liked her a lot in her past life, the shock he received when she died must have been considerable.
The closer someone was to her past self, the more those who had met her would obsessively cling to her.
Now, Schlus would probably grab the bars and cry, repeatedly calling her name.
He would probably scream, “Isn’t that Julia von Eisburg?” or “Isn’t that the reincarnation?”
He would cause a scene until the guards intervened, just like anyone else who had known her…
“······.”
‘Huh?’
But Schlus couldn’t finish his words and bit his lip hard.
As if he had just blurted out a name he shouldn’t have said.
His eyes remained fixed on Julia.
The boy looked as if he were swallowing his tears.
“Miss? Ahhh…!”
The maid, who had just peeked out from the bushes, rushed over as she grasped the situation.
She quickly stood in front of Julia, pointing at her.
It was due to Madam Lichtenburg’s orders not to let Julia meet the guests of the day.
Even though the carriage’s return time was still far off, why was it so soon…
In any case, the maid swallowed hard and steeled herself.
She had to shatter the young guest’s illusion.
She needed to say clearly that the girl he knew was not the same as the current Julia.
It was obvious he wouldn’t believe it, though.
“Excuse me. Listen carefully. This person is-”
“I was invited. I arrived early because I had some free time, so could you let me in?”
“Yes?”
But the young guest’s words were unexpected.
He seemed to pay no mind to Julia at all. No, it looked like he was deliberately ignoring her.
She had heard he knew Julia von Eisburg…
“Are you going to make me wait standing?”
“Oh, no. Are you Mr. Schlus Hainkel?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
“Guards. Please open the main gate.”
The main gate slowly opened.
Schlus calmly stepped into the garden.
As he moved, the maid shifted slightly to cover Julia, but Schlus casually passed by Julia and the maid as if they were of no concern.
It was strange. Did Schlus not remember Julia?
‘No way?’
The kid who used to come to my room almost every day?
Confused, Julia tilted her head to the side.
Just then, through the maid, she could see Schlus’s large back.
That little boy had grown into such a sturdy young man.
“······.”
Schlus turned around, and the two of them locked eyes again.
There were no emotions in his lifeless, pale eyes.
A moment of silence passed.
“Ah! I’m sorry! My master is not yet ready! Would you like to wait in the reception room while enjoying some tea?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll guide you! This way…”
Another maid hurriedly came out from the mansion, and Schlus simply turned his head away.
In that brief moment, Julia noticed something.
Schlus was biting his lip hard.
She could see blood oozing from where his lips had been bitten.
Schlus didn’t truly forget about her.
He had definitely seen her and recalled the past Julia.
Yet he was intentionally pretending not to know her.
‘So what was that reaction… ?’
She couldn’t comprehend it at all.
She had gone through this cycle of lives dozens of times, yet she had never encountered someone like him.
But oddly enough—
‘Why does my chest feel so tight?’
An unexplainable sense of pressure was now weighing down on her.
Overwhelmed by a mixed feeling of nostalgia and pain, Julia clenched the fabric of her chest tightly, almost wrinkling it.
It was an emotion she had never felt before.
A feeling she couldn’t make sense of.
……This was why it felt so confusing.
*
“I’ll go fetch the master. Please wait a moment.”
“······.”
Once the maid left the room, Julia felt her tense posture collapse like a house of cards.
Perhaps due to the agitation, her sight and hearing kept flickering in and out, and her hands were trembling.
“This can’t be happening…”
Julia had reincarnated into the Lichtenburg family?
Does this even make sense? The original work didn’t seem to have revealed Julia’s last name…
Damn it. That’s why.
Since Julia’s last name hadn’t been set, it wasn’t weird for her to be the daughter of any family.
Even in her backstory, it stated that Julia rarely went outside her room, and it wouldn’t impact the narrative in any way, so even being Erika’s sister wouldn’t be a problem.
I never imagined I’d run into Julia in a place like this.
I never wanted to meet her, ever.
At least not until the end.
Why did she suddenly have to appear here…
“This is insane…”
Julia’s appearance was exactly as I had imagined.
Those beautiful black locks. Her petite hands. Even her sharp gaze.
Every single element perfectly resembled her. No, it was identical.
She almost made me think she hadn’t looked like this when she was young.
And that image stirred emotions within me far greater than I could have imagined.
Knowing full well she was not the same person, my body was still willingly deceived.
Just like the day I first met her, my heart was pounding, and I could feel sweat forming on my palms and feet.
If only I could deceive my own reason as well.
Maybe that would be easier.
Then perhaps it wouldn’t hurt so much.
“You’ve come early.”
“Ah.”
At that moment, the door opened, and a gentle voice resonated.
Without needing to lift my head, I knew who it was.
“I am Irene von der Lichtenburg, Erika’s mother.”
Madam Lichtenburg.
She was the acting countess and sage of Lichtenburg.
I quickly stood to greet her.
No matter how much of a lackey I was, I would still show some minimal respect.
As I had learned from Emilia, I was about to kneel to kiss her hand when she extended hers to me.
It was a handshake.
A handshake is a greeting between equals, so why would a woman who detests commoners extend her hand to me…?
“It’s nice to meet you. I genuinely appreciate you inviting me for dinner today.”
“No, it’s nothing. You saved my life. It’s a debt I could never repay in a lifetime.”
Even if she hated commoners, at least she was perceptive enough to understand this.
At least for today, she would treat me as a guest.
I should forget about Julia and fill my stomach with a delicious meal.
“May I call you Schlus?”
“You may, Madam.”
“Yes. Mr. Schlus, you knew someone named Julia von Eisburg, correct?”
“······.”
Damn.
Just as I was trying to forget, it came right back up.
I had just learned today that Schlus knew Julia.
Earlier, when ‘Memory of True Self’ had activated involuntarily, I had seen a blurry image reminiscent of Schlus’s memories.
Julia sitting on the bed, reading, while Schlus, unable to read, looked at her with a smile.
They probably had a fairly close relationship.
What a ridiculous coincidence this was.
How could this possibly happen?
I never wanted to meet her.
Not ever… Not until the end.
“Yes.”
“I’m going to speak frankly. The girl I saw in the garden earlier is not the same person as Julia von Eisburg.”
“Yes. I understand.”
“Oh, you understand?”
“Julia has passed away. I saw it happen with my own eyes.”
I confirmed it with my own eyes.
I touched her cold hand to ensure I was right.
Many times, I confirmed.
She was dead.
“She certainly looks similar… but that’s all.”
Even if there was a girl who looked just like her, it didn’t mean that she was her.
“Dead people don’t come back to life. I have no reason to mistake your daughter for the deceased.”
Half of me might be insane, to be honest.
Knowing full well the truth, my body still reacted, mistaking Julia for the girl in front of me.
“……I apologize.”
“There’s no need. You must have been unpleasant. If anyone sees their daughter overlapping with the deceased.”
“Mr. Schlus, I’m relieved to hear that.”
Not that I was relieved.
I was exactly that kind of guy.
“The dinner is ready.”
“Then shall we move to the dining room? Erika is waiting.”
“Yes, let’s do that. By the way, is the other daughter I saw earlier…?”
“Oh, that girl said her stomach hurt. She won’t be eating right now.”
That’s a relief.
I didn’t have to see that face again.
However, along with that relief came a pang of pain.
Thinking that I wouldn’t see that face again…
As I walked down the long corridor, I did my best to suppress my agitation.
I had to forget everything now; I had to focus.
The purpose of coming here today wasn’t just to have a meal.
I had to close a deal with the sage.