I hate being wed in a fantasy world!

It's another day of downtime, which fits me well as the Ken-kun-dubbed Queen of Laziness. Especially as the children seem to have forgotten that they're supposed to be afraid of me, which creates the desire within me to mess them up real good. Maybe I should introduce them to an alfr game which makes them pull up each other's underwear?

“Which one, Ara?”

“Hm?” I barely paid attention to Katarine-san, who wants to use the day to make some clothes viable for the winter. This is how she will use most of the day, as this means she can stay in the room with Momo and Ken-kun and use her time for something productive. For that, we're looking through remnants of wool, furs, and cloth, in addition to old clothes of the farmstead. Of course we're paying for those, but with that and what we got in Aroahenn and Goldbrunn, this should suffice. Katarine-san and Momo will be working for a while on it.

I feel the cloth she presents me. “It itches and is too heavy.”

“You think? It feels fine.”

“I'm using [Acrobat] as well, so I like to stay mobile.”

“I see... but let's use that wool, so you can wear socks at least.”

“I'm against the enslavement of feet!”

“Mou, Ara! Your feet will freeze in winter. How did you get by in the past in winter?”

“By never leaving my house!”

“You can't do that this time. You’ll have to deal with socks then.”

“Then I won't be able to feel properly, which would be a hindrance.”

“What do you mean? Feel with your feet? Like sharp stones? If you had shoes, your feet would be protected.”

I’ve avoided explaining that to Katarine-san so far, as I'm lazy and she didn't need to know. “When my bare feet touch the ground, it's easier to spread my spirit sense throughout the ground, detecting animals, plants, and even people around me. In layman's terms: It'd be like closing one of my eyes the entire time.”

“Ah, I see... so what do alfar do in winter?”

“We go barefooted. Our feet can handle snow and the like.” In many cases, human bodies seem like unrefined versions of alfr bodies, in this case unable to hold their body temperature well.

“OK, I'll trust you on that. Then we need to make you still a knitted hat, so-”

“This would impair the movement of my ears.”

“Mou... you really make it hard to dress you.”

“If you want to make me your dress-up doll, you have to feed me, carry me, and do all the research for heroes, including the calculations!”

“I'm still bad at those!”

“Then you have to give up.”

“We'll find something. What about you, Grekk?” She turns to the other human, who’s looking through the clothes right now. “Has anything caught your interest? I can also make you something new.”

“Don't worry, lass. This is good enough for me, even too much.” He pulls on his poncho. “Don't waste that much time on me.”

“Nonsense, I'm very quick.”

“Katarine-san is a hero with the [Tailor]-class and works much faster than what you may expect. She could make you an entire outfit in less than a day.” As this is about heroes, there is no reason not to partake in this conversation.

“Ara, only if it's the clothes themselves and I have nothing else to consider. The fur parts still take much longer than I want to, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. This sheep fur seems to be good for some lining, so I could at least make you a new trouser.”

“Thank you, lass. I guess I need to take care of my health for a change. It's just a shame that I even need that,” he looks out of the door, making sure nobody is there to listen, “as a barbarian. We're usually going topless.”

“Why though?”

“Because we're that tough. Killing one of us becomes really hard, and one of the reasons is because we steel our toughness from the day we're born.” In my research I found out that the first barbarians were heroes that went rogue. If that is true, it stands to reason that their descendants would still use abilities like [Toughness] which is self-explanatory in what it does.

However, there is a heavy lack of evidence for that claim and even Grekk doesn't know whether it's true or not. There are so many people that claim to be descendants of heroes that I came to the conclusion that most people just like to brag. Understandable, but that makes my research so much more complicated.

As Katarine-san tries her best to convince Grekkun to let her make him more clothes, I decide to sneak away to play a bit with the children. Maybe I could also look for the hair soap and coat it with resin, for good measure?

After so many encounters with racism against alfar, I'm in the unique situation to be among people who have mostly stopped suspecting me. I know they won't like it if I use this opportunity, but the only way to correct a bad sense of humor is to counter it with a good one.

No, tortu—nurturing children comes first. Let's squeeze those soft cheeks as long as I can! With this in mind, I start to listen through the house, looking for my victi—playmates.

The walls here are thicker than what I'm used to from human cities, but listening through the hallways and doors is still an easy task. I hear people shoveling something outside, talking about how I spook them. That's rude, they have no reason to, maybe I should give them one, after all...

Then there is a conversation two rooms over, it seems like one of the elderly is bound to bed, and is currently being washed with a cloth or something.

I walk through the hallway, then knock on a door to surprise two people during their sex. These beast-like sounds make me wet, and imagine some erotic things with Ken-kun, which I seriously don't need right now, as it would feel uncomfortable to masturbate right now to get these urges under control.

Now I even unconsciously licked my lips. Since I respirated Ken-kun, most of my curse-induced sexual fantasies involve a lot of kissing, even though there is still some disgust at the thought of basically sharing oral germs with each other. Katarine-san kissing Ken-kun let me also feel a bit of envy, which shows either how sensual that experience was to suddenly have a myriad of nerves connect to my lips, or how much the ring interferes with my emotions and mentality.

The memory of that moment is like an addiction, and that's dangerous. The moment Ken-kun learns of it, he could easily subdue me with a kiss, and then turn that to consensual sex instead of one-sided rape―though it would probably still end up with my frail body broken by brutish human strength coupled with limitless sexual desire. That thought is genuinely frightening.

At least Katarine-san should now take care of that. There are more fun things to do with Ken-kun... I turn around on the spot, as suddenly I feel like teasing him a bit. I already have something in mind.

I go to the room where he and Momo are lying around and open the door. The two of them turned their heads, basically the only part of their body they can move freely, to me. It's obvious that they didn't even look at each other before: “Anyone needs help with their masturbation?”

“Hell no!” “Shut up!” 1-0 for me.

I hide the intention my spirit would reveal. A human would say that I 'keep a straight face', though alfar faces don't move as much as human faces in the first place. “Anyone need to release their feces then?”

Ken-kun's spirit, his wonderfully more pronounced spirit, tells me that he believes that I'm the one who will nurse them for the time being. Just as planned. “Definitely not with you.”

“Agreed.”

“Alright. Then what about a snack?” We still have some zuccis, an alfr twig-based candy. “Here, Ken-kun. Just bite it off.” Of course I hold it in a height, where he would need to lift his shoulders to reach it, which is just outside his capabilities.

“Funny.” Though his voice is dry and sarcastic, I decide to judge the word itself. So yes, that is funny, great that we're agreeing. 2-0 for me.

“Are you here just to mess with us?” Momo is already on my trail.

“Yes.” Hiding it at this point seems to be too much of a hassle. “Wait a moment, I’ll get my pen ready.” Though coal doesn't sit well on skin, it’ll have to do.

“Do you plan to write on our faces!?” “Don't you dare!” Both speak up at the same time, but anyone with a normal hearing can distinguish who says what.

“I do dare, but not on your faces. You could turn your heads, after all. Let's start with your feet.”

“RINE-CHAN!” Momo does the one thing I don't want her to do, asking for help. I already hear the steps, though they don't belong to Katarine-san who would be here in the blink of an eye.

Instead it's Mirianne-san, who slams open the door: “What are you doing here!”

“Friendship.” I answer truthfully.

“E---... Alf, you—”

“Almost.” To be honest, I'm a bit impressed that she now at least tries to use the correct term at this point. “A-l-fr. Or you can call me Ara'ainn, the hero-sage, keeper of what is mine, and insufferable know-it-all. I insist on the whole title.”

“Alffr...” Sigh, this pronunciation needs some more work: “Ah, it doesn't matter right now! Why can't I nurse them, while you do whatever comes into your mind!?”

“Mirianne-san, both of them are heroes, so while it may strike you as strange, I—Ara'ainn, the hero-sage, keeper of what is mine, and insufferable know-it-all—am the expert.”

The human girl blinks for a moment, moves her mouth in silence, and makes a facial expression that I can't read. The moment she's about to say something, Momo interrupts her: “Miria-nee? Would you please make us some food? Maybe a soup or a stew, something that is easy to eat, but gives strength.”

“...yes...” She turns around and walks towards the kitchen. Having Momo here with her [Persuasion] really helps.

Yet I feel a strong emotion from behind. “Why are you angry, Ken-kun?”

His spirit shows his wonder for a moment, then he sighs: “Phew... Nothing important. Just cut the crap you were about to pull off, OK?”

“I certainly didn't plan to take a dump on you, as this may awaken a fetish you didn't know about.”

“You know what I mean!”

“Well, then how about a round or two of irlkrin? I can move your pieces.”

“...alright.”

Irlkrin is a strategic board game Ken-kun and I sometimes play. The challenge is that, depending on whether the piece stands on a bright or dark space, its movement changes, while the goal of the game is either to capture the ruler, to set a piece on the guardian's space, or to leave your opponent with only half as many pieces on the board as you.

I set the board on a small table that I placed between Ken-kun and Momo, so that she can at least watch. “You may begin.”

“Fisher one square forward.”

Following Ken-kun's instruction, I place his pieces, while I place mine in response. He doesn't know that I already have a plan to win this game. After some turns, I place my hunter to deal with his scribe. “Your turn.”

Ken-kun looks at the board, and I guess that desire in his spirit mirrors his greed, as he saw a weakness in my last move. “Builder swaps with farmer!”

“Builder swaps with scribe? Sure.”

“Farmer, I said 'farmer'!”

“Ah, I see.” I move the farmer forwards, now it's in a light space, which makes him basically useless until he moves again. “Then-”

“What are you doing!?”

“Hm? I'm capturing your scribe, of course.”

“What the fuck! That's cheating!”

“Ken-kun, your piece was placed, then it's my turn. That's how the game goes.”

“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!”

“Ah, builder swaps with scout? Brave gambit.”

“AAAARGH!!!” Being unable to move his arms, he can't place the pieces himself. I feel a smile creeping up on me, Ken-kun sure gives so many satisfying reactions. Yet instead of giving up, he tries his best to recover: “Your turn!”

“One moment.” I move the pieces back before I set my hunter: “Now let's destroy you legitimately.”

While Ken-kun was happy for a moment with the return to the board state, he's still a beginner, so he ends up in silent agony over his loss. After a silent minute, he turns to me again. “One more time!”

We play two more games before Mirianne-san returns with vegetables cooked in water. I don't believe that this qualifies as a stew. She puts a bowl in my hand: “I'm in charge of Red,” she says.

“I don't think so,” I tell her plainly, as I hear Katarine-san's footsteps approaching. Maybe it's her instinct that tells her whenever another woman wants to pork her man. “I'm out here.” I place the bowl on the ground, open the window, and climb out of it, before I get caught in another argument.

That was fun as long as it lasted. Now it's time to look for my next victim.

―○●○―

“Are you sure, it's not too heavy, Grekk?” He's carrying an entire loom with apparent ease.

“Don't worry. I’ve thrown boulders that were heavier.”

“When you were younger, right?”

“...right. But a loom or two is still nothing.”

I feel bad about it, as I only carry my backpack, which is now filled with our selection. With this and the loom, I should be able to finish up our winter clothes.

Now it's back to Dear's and Kyou's room. I suspect that Ara is in there as well. With a strong hand, I swing the door open, so that Grekk can carry the loom inside, and I immediately see Miranne here. “Oh.”

“Ew.” The girl with the brown braids doesn't seem to be happy to see me, and I have to admit that the feeling is mutual. I'm very thankful that she helped Dear before, yet there is something that makes it hard to like her.

I think she's in love with Dear, and I do mind it. I mean, Dear is just that interesting, cool, smart, attractive, pleasant, strong, wonderful, and much more, but the thought of her making her move on him makes me sad.

It would also feel unfair. I took so long to really understand him—or at least learn that he's everything but perfect—so it would feel unfair, if he starts to return her feelings just like that. It'd be something different if it were Kyou or Ara, who also know so much about Dear.

Ah, she's also not married to him. That's also important. I can now finally think of our marriage as a pure blessing, instead of thinking how Dear being married to three women makes him a sinner. I don't care if a god comes and thinks otherwise, I will say it in their face! It's my happiness!

Oh, there are two bowls of soup here as well. Maybe Mirianne wants to feed Dear? That's my blessing though! “Mirianne, I'll take over.”

“I'm supposed to feed him!”

“Hey,” Dear speaks up in annoyance. “What about what I want?”

He's right, so far we had our arguments mostly whenever Dear wasn't able to listen. “Dear, who do you want to feed you? Mirianne or me?”

“Rine,” he says without hesitation, and I can feel my heart skip a beat because of it.

“Mirianne,” I put my hands on the bowl in her hand: “Do you want to help Kyou eat?” While she may be in love with Dear, she may also want to help regardless of her feelings.

Her eyes are moist, she lets go of the bowl and runs out of the room. I think she's crying. “I feel terrible about it,” I say to Dear and Kyou.

“Phew... the earlier, the better,” Dear says, and moves his neck strangely. Maybe because he can't shrug his shoulders?

“I feel sorry for her, but I agree with Ken,” Kyou adds emphatically.

“Sorry to change the topic, but where do you want the loom?” Grekk asks with a wry smile.

“Ah, put it over there. I'll start later with work, now it's lunch time. Do you want to help Kyou, Grekk?”

“I can wait,” Kyou says quickly. “Sorry Grekk-san, but having a man feed me would be... well...”

“I get it. I can also skip the lovey-dovey mood that will be there. Do you know where Ara-kun is?”

“She left through the window.”

“Then I guess, I'll go on a walk.” He waves goodbye and leaves.

“Hm...” I start my thought, “I'd feel bad, if I let Kyou wait, so I'll alternate between the two of you.” I notice that the table still has Ara's irlkrin board on it, and before it is a second bowl. It really looks like Ara left right before I came, I just don't know why.

It doesn't matter though. I put the game away and use the table for the two bowls. I feel my heart heating up, and I'm getting all giddy, as I can feed Dear again. I love that!

I take the spoon, put some vegetable and soup on it, blow on it twice, and then: “Ahhhn.”

“Phew...” Even though he doesn't do 'ahhhn' himself, he at least opens his mouth. That has to be enough for now, I'm sure he's a bit embarrassed.

You gain 1 WP.

Feeding your bed-bound husband shows your affection and care for him and his health.

Yes, it does!

“Next is Kyou.” I swap bowls and spoons. “Ahhhhn.”

“Ahhhn. Mmmmm.” Kyou plays along and looks like she's enjoying it, which makes me even happier. “Rine-chan, could you put some salt into it?”

“Sure! Let's see...” I put my hand in my backpack and the screen comes up, where I select the salt-pot. There is a small spatula inside, which I use to put a pinch into the bowl. I stir it for a second. “Tell me, if you need more: Ahhhhn.”

“Ahhhhn. Much better, thank you.”

“Sure!” Maybe that's how it'll be when I have a baby. Feeding it, because it can't eat by itself. But before that, Dear and I would---- “Tehehehehe!” I hope we're both ready for that.

―○●○―

It's too bad that I haven't seen Ara-kun yet, as she's a great conversational partner. I have almost forgotten how it is to speak about nonsense with other people. When I grew old, people only talked to me whenever they wanted something from me, or asked if I wanted something. Now that I think of it, it has been lonely after my brothers-in-arms all died.

Let's visit the orchards next. Trees and alfar do mix, right?

Instead of an alfr, I see a girl with braids, who sits with her back against a tree, with her chin on her knees. “Hey,” I say while sitting down next to her. “Wanna talk?” Asking her if she's well would be pointless.

“...why should I?” Mirianne acts very childish for her age, but who am I to judge?

I shrug with my shoulders and just stay quiet, as I'm certainly not one who can give advice to her.

“...I hate this life.” I guess she couldn't stay quiet after all.

“What life?”

“Being stuck here on a farm... I hate it.”

“Why?”

“Nothing happens...”

“Trust me, a farm where nothing happens and is quiet has it great.” That means no bandits or monsters, after all.

“The people here don't get me...”

“Do you talk with them?”

“I try to! I'm really trying! But it's just that they can't understand me. I didn't want to stay here, I wanted to leave, but I can't!”

“Why?”

“Because they won't take me to the town...”

“What keeps you from going yourself?”

“I don't know where it is...”

“But there is most likely a path, right?”

“I can't fight monsters...”

“Then run away from them. Or fight anyway.”

“...”

To be honest, I'm struggling here. As I mentioned before, I can't give advice to her. “You have a family here, you get fed, you have a bed.”

“I don't belong here.”

“...yeah, I know how it feels.”

“Hm?”

“I left my family, too.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn't feel like I belonged in that life anymore.”

“What made you think that?”

I smile as an answer. If I had a real answer to that, I may have chosen a different path. “Maybe you will understand when you grow old.”

“What do you do now?”

“I'm a broken geezer on the road, clinging to people much younger than me.”

Even though it's not an answer to her question, she takes it as one. I'm just a fool, trying to make one single amendment before dying, no matter what it takes.

The more I watch young people, the more I understand how irreversibly broken I already am.

―○●○―

At the dining hall, all leading people of the farmstead eat together each day, often discussing whatever is important right now.

The same as today. “When do they plan to leave?” This question seems to be in the heads of most of the people living on this farmstead.

The elderly and children seem to love the ranger and his companions, even the elf. Most of the workers want them to be away as quickly as possible.

Kenza puts her hands on the dinner table. Slowly, controlled: “They're paying for food, shelter, and even some of our old stuff.”

Jahn, who represents the workers, replies: “They stay among themselves and don't even talk to us.” Of course they won't, they're trying to not inconvenience the inhabitants in any way, and they have to take care of two of their people.

To be honest, Kenza feels that there are several things off with these people, but most of it can be explained with them being heroes, people from other worlds summoned to this one. “They will leave tomorrow anyway.”

Kenza's brother Benjam speaks up as well: “I'd like them to stay a bit longer. If it's true that their priest can move again tomorrow, she could use her magic to heal everyone who is hurting. Especially after days of harvesting, at least I feel it in my bones, and the rest could also help in several ways.”

“Maybe the ranger, but what about the elf, the elder, and the girl?”

Uncle Gurst laughs out loud: “You should have seen them yesterday. Ara'ainn can turn a whole meadow into a quagmire, and Rine is stronger than all of you combined.” He's already retired from farming work and watches the children and therefore had some conversations with the heroes yesterday.

While Kenza would love to have more helping hands, she's also responsible for all the people here. “They have dealt with their problems for now and don't plan to stay for long. There is no danger for us and they need some help.” Most of the workers are in one way or another indebted to her family, some of them had nowhere to go and know very well that she has welcomed them with open arms.

“I can see danger,” Jahn mercilessly attacks the one sour spot for Kenza, “the ranger will take Mirianne away.”

Kenza loves her children, but even she has to admit that Mirianne sometimes puts that love to the test. Why can't she just be like the rest? “That won't happen.” Is everything she can say to that, though she's not even believing it herself. “Nonetheless, we'll finish harvesting tomorrow, so there is still a lot to do.”

There is always work on a farm.