I hate being wed in a fantasy world!

Several hours have passed since Ken was shot, but there are no signs of any other attacks, which makes him even more irritated. “Relax,” I tell him. “Maybe it was really a hunter, who was actually aiming at the monster?” This was one of the many possibilities he came up with, but even I’m doubting it. What I don’t doubt, however, is that Ken is getting more worked up about it than it’s good for him.

Seriously, he always thinks about multiple possibilities and doubts each of them so much, that he’s driving himself crazy. Though it’s even more crazy, this meticulous doubting is one of his more redeeming qualities, as it shows that he cares.

“A hunter?” He says scoffingly. “Maybe for the first arrow, but what about the rest?”

“A group that was actually hunting, then they saw you, knew about your bounty and wanted to take you out? Or maybe because of how you’re a sinner?” The curse we’re suffering from has some technicalities. One of them is marrying us girls with Ken, which makes Ken a boy who’s married to multiple spouses. This however, is forbidden by another set of rules, the Divine Laws.

The Divine Laws are one of the strangest and somehow most ludicrous things in this world. If you break one, you’re considered a sinner by the world. Not only in the form of recognition of its inhabitants when they learn about it, but also by spells and such. It’s also the firm believe of the people here that having too many sinners within a species will cause genocide. Therefore, the people weed out sinners whenever possible.

“There weren’t any bounty posters on this side of the Ohl so far… well, we may have lost some time, so maybe some bounty hunters that knew of it… or Crusaders? I mean, they should have scouts and hunters, and hunting monsters is what they also do…” Let’s just say that none of us had good experiences with Crusaders, though Rine-chan thinks rather positively of them in general.

But oh my god, is Ken irritating right now! His anxiety is making me mad. If he were a girl, I would take his hands, tell him that everything will be alright, that whatever comes, he will be able to handle it, and that I will help him along the way.

Too bad he’s a boy. While we genuinely try our best to improve how we act towards each other, this would give all the wrong signals. While I could rely on Rine-chan to calm him down a bit—somehow she can say cheesy lines cool and full of confidence—I want to try it this time.

Appealing to his head won’t work. In a sense, it’s the source of the problem. So how do I appeal to his heart? Maybe through his body? “Ken, stop for a moment.” He looks at me for a second, then sighs, and does as I say. This also causes Rine-chan and Arako, who are some steps behind us, to halt.

Now I step behind him and put my hands on his shoulders. They’re full of stuff, his armor, his hood, the straps of his backpack, it shows how much he burdens himself with. Then I start putting some force into my grip to give him a massage.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“You’re way too stiff… seriously, your muscles are like rocks there.” Being in his [Ranger]-form doesn’t help either. “Can you switch to [Student] for a while?”

“Why?”

“Because it’ll be hard to massage you otherwise. You have too many muscles.” Not that I generally mind. If you look at Ken’s body, it’s firm and I like how his back looks. Quite pleasing, and I know that he’s ogling me sometimes as well, so it’s only fair that I sometimes take a look as well.

“Why would you massage me? Do you even know what you’re doing?”

“I have quite some experience. Tou-chan always praised me!”

“*pff* Tou-chan…”

I’m glad that I’m standing behind him, as I feel my cheeks blush. That was a blunder. I’m somewhat of a daddy-child, and while I have no problem admitting to it, calling him Tou-chan out loud is kinda embarrassing.

I calm myself within a second and just ask calmly, and as if it’s totally normal for a girl to call her father Tou-chan at this age: “Will you change now?”

I feel a jolt in Ken’s shoulders. I’m sure he was about to say something, but then his muscles become a bit softer. “Phew… fine.” His muscles recede and I feel fat between my fingers and his back bloat. Not even that much, but noticeable.

Well, he’s just a bit chubby, mostly around the stomach. It’s just that his [Ranger] basically gets rid of the fat entirely and replaces it with muscles. I can work with this much buffer, no problem.

It’d be better, if he would lie down or at least sit, but this is just supposed to calm him down. So I knead his back and neck area, the shoulders and down the spine. I can tell from his initial movements that he doesn’t like that, but he slowly becomes more relaxed.

Is his initial resistance because of the contact or because he has to surrender himself to me for the effect?

“Oh, Kyou! This seems to feel good.” Rine-chan admires what I do, I guess I never massaged her before.

“When we camp, I can knead you through as well, if you like.”

“Gladly.”

“What about you, Arako?”

“I’m afraid that you’d break poor, frail me.”

“Nonsense. I’ll show you later. What about you?” I ask Ken while getting rid of some of his tension. “Wanna do it for real later?”

“…” He’s considering it! That alone is a win. “Phew… maybe. Let’s get going now. … …thanks.”

You gain 1 WP.

Giving your husband a massage to calm him down shows your love and thoughtfulness.

Ah, right. Ken hated the idea to get massages for WP… Wait, calm down. This is the curse that makes me feel a bit love-struck just now, but it’s no problem. I know about it, he knows about it, we can stay factual about it and just act like companions that try to trust each other.

“OK,” Ken says with regained composure: “We know that something will hit us soon, so we need to decide how to go about it. For now, I’d like to get to the wayside inn, so we can buy some more food, so we don’t need to hunt for a while. Then we change the route, using the cliffs and woods to discourage mounts and increase our speed. The good thing about the mercenaries before Goldbrunn was that we learned our limits. So we need to pace ourselves to not come too close to it, so we maintain some power for fights, but we should be able to get to a point where we dishearten any non-hero to keep that pace up. If I recall correctly, there is a huge forest just a few days ahead. If we get there, we rest and prepare. There we can make use of our whole potential while limiting theirs.”

As always, Ken’s strategy isn’t flawless, but very solid. “So you want to engage them?”

“The past shows that we have never outrun anything so far. Maybe this time it’s different, and they will stop before we get there, but great forests have another perk: The monster-cleansing never goes into them.”

“Monster-cleansing?” I’m sure I heard about it somewhere before.

“To ensure the safety of the streets and cities, the rulers will send out soldiers to decimate the monsters there. This causes only monsters of low danger to remain. That’s why hunters often take days for a hunting trip, as they have to travel to less developed areas to find monsters with valuable materials but of moderate danger.”

“So you want to use monsters?”

“We know our way in the woods, when there is a bigger group, we can wait until they alert the monsters and take out their leaders. It’s one strategy. Though honestly, I want to know who they are first, but with so much open space, I see no sensible way to do it.”

I would rather run away, to be honest. Yet I have to agree with Ken: It never worked out for us. “Then let’s pick up the pace.”

―○●○―

It’s dark and tight. A red bunny crouches in a box, unable to move because of how stuffed the box was. There were other animals, white squirrels with black fur on their eyes, legs, and behind. All of them are waiting in silence while eating some nuts.

The bunny looks at the squirrels. It wants to eat them. It wants to kill them. Kill… kill… kill! How long has it been since it destroyed something? It hurts, it hurts, its body screams. It has already made some holes into the box, but it’s about to break.

Maybe it could just break the box, kill the cabman, take over the carriage, drive it itself, until it- Ouch! Ouch, ouch, ouch! The order is hurting! It has to get to her destination as fast as possible, and sending itself as a parcel was the best option.

The bunny wants to change its form. It loves bunnies, but it was a scary oni! Yes, she would wreck the place and everything, so she can’t take the form of her true self. She wants to destroy. She wants to hurt. It’s unbearable how boring this method of travel is!

Suddenly, the carriage stops. Something opens the back of the carriage and the box the animals are in. The bunny looks up and sees its master, with the hat pushed back. The squirrels are looking with a blank face at the human, the bunny cowers, as it feels how agitated its master is. Will it be punished?

“Tell your subordinates to stay calm. I have work for you. If those squirrels want, they can participate, but otherwise, they can go ahead.”

The bunny jumps out of the box, and its red fur changes into tanned skin as she takes the form of a young girl, the form she takes on most around her master. Her dark twintails wave as she shakes the body that has been too still for too long. “It’s about Katakata?” Katakata is fun. She’s a bit jumpy, but she knows how to mutilate. That’s something the girl-oni can get behind. Actually, that’s exactly why she likes her.

“Yes. Don’t try to understand my orders, just execute them.” Her master was right, the oni knows at this point that she’s too stupid to understand what her master is thinking, and frankly, she doesn’t care either. She just has to obey and then she will soon wreck enough havoc to satisfy her wants and needs.

Because master is the best!

―○●○―

Wayside inns are common around trade routes, and often enough only a day apart on foot. While they were often in hamlets and villages between cities, we’re in the Wildlands, which means that there are barely any small settlements unless there is a big city nearby. The problem is the amount of fertile land, and I guess the inns can only survive by having merchants passing by regularly.

It hurts a bit that we have to return to the trade route, but this was the best course of action I could think of in this case. What makes me feel uncomfortable about this inn is the amount of people around it… a lot of mounts, a lot of weapons, mercenaries?

One of them throws a fruit at me, I calmly evade it, but before it could hit Rine, she draws her sword, picks it up mid-air, and then returns it to the sender. The sound of rupturing fruit and the scream of disbelief, surprise, and anger is music to my ears. But why did that asshole throw something at me in the first place?

I look at the banner of the mercenaries and see a flame that is chopped by an axe… don’t tell me…

“PISS OFF, RED RANGER!”

“FUCK YOU!”

“DROP DEAD!”

This scorn, these insults, this hatred, all directed at me: It’s school all over again.

“Phew… guess that’s Flamebane’s posse.”

“Shouldn’t they be behind us?” Kyou-san asks dryly.

“Apparently not, though I have several ideas about what has happened.”

“…we’ll see.” She knows what I was thinking and that I could blame her for that. However, they haven’t openly attacked us and the fact that we ran into them made it less likely that they were involved in the recent arrow attack, which… actually worries me more. If teaching them a lesson would solve the whole thing, I’d be glad to do so.

“STOP IT, MAGGOTS!” Flamebane’s voice echoes through their makeshift camp around the inn. Then the man himself appears, mustering me and the girls in a second. “I apologize for the misconduct of my men.” He may apologize, but he’s certainly not sorry.

An awkward pause comes, as Kyou-san and I exchange glances, following us looking at Rine, who lifts her hands defensively, then the three of us turn to Ara-san, who suddenly is reading a book. All of us understand: None of us wants to talk with this guy.

Even Flamebande notices this, he clears his throat in offense and then turns to me: “You must be asking yourself why we’re here, right?”

I pay him minimal attention, as I try to gently push Kyou-san towards him, hoping that it makes her take over the conversation. She looks at me, sighs and then openly takes two steps back to show how much she refuses. “Phew… not really,” I answer in defeat.

“Would you mind looking at me, when you talk to me! Your disrespect is sickening me!”

Hey, if you want respect, earn it first. I open my mouth to tell him to fuck off, when suddenly Kyou-san steps forwards again and says in a sweet voice: “We’re sorry, mister. We had a troubling day and are very exhausted. I apologize for being rude.” Finally someone takes over.

“The little sister, right?”

“Right. You may have noticed that my big brother is a man of few words, and those are seldom nice.” I like that description. Seriously. It sums up what other people have to expect from me. “So while my brother has his times to shine, he’s not the best person to talk to. I’ve only heard about you, Flamebane-san, you’re a great mercenary from what I heard?”

“He is?” Rine bursts out, maybe not sure how to categorize him. She also seems wary and shows her dislike of the man, one of the few times she actually harbors ill feelings towards someone. I guess, the story about how he treated Ara-san is affecting her impression a lot.

“You can call me Gunsar. And while I’m confident about me and my troupe, I’d see myself as experienced rather than great. Though our reputation has hit rock bottom in a single day.” He looks at me with a mixture of scorn and disbelief: “Our squabble in Vwranen made people hate us, which cost us the contract, and while we got the termination fee, we basically can only try to outrun the bad rumors.” His forehead furrows in wonder. While I’m sure that he wanted to tell us how we’re to blame for his canceled deal, I guess Kyou-san’s [Persuasion]-attribute made him talk more about the facts than he intended.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” says the single person responsible for their upcoming hardship which surely has no remorse over that, unless she has to suffer any backlash: “The people around here love their rangers, and while my brother may be insufferable at times, he still earned this title.” By the way, she’s responsible for having Flamebane trying to hire me as well, as she’s the one who has spread the great deeds of the Red Ranger in the first place…

Basically, Kyou-san is the one responsible for all of Flamebane’s current suffering! Well, in addition to Flamebane being a jerk, that is.

“You may be right. He certainly seems like someone who can be insufferable.” Hey, she may call me that with me grudgingly agreeing to it, but you don’t have the right, asshole.

“I hope that you don’t have hard feelings about it,” Kyou-san quickly throws in before I can tell him off again.

“Well, there is still one thing.” He pauses a moment before turning to me. “Apologize.”

“…for what?”

“For hitting me. Also, for your disrespect.”

Anger wells up inside me. “You-”

Interestingly enough, it’s Rine who steps forward and stares Flamebane right into his eyes: “You apologize first.”

“What?”

“I’ve heard from Kenta how you treated my friend. Apologize for your slander.”

Flamebane draws himself up to his full height, towering above Rine. “You’re his lover, right?”

“That’s none of your concern. Apologize to Ara.” I can almost see sparks coming out from Rine’s eyes, that would be the moment when fear would crawl upon me if I were in Flamebane’s shoes.

The mercenary, however, doesn’t budge. “Then I guess nobody apologizes to anyone today. I’m not bored enough to pick up another fight. Just stay out of my sight.”

“Rine-chan, Ken… let’s go.” As the voice of reason this time around, Kyou-san nudges us towards the entrance of the inn. She’s right. We just want to get some food and then move on.

…it would make sense to ask Flamebane for some mounts, but then I had to apologize. I’m sure now, that his band wasn’t responsible for the arrows, so this would be the lesser evil…

“…phew…” I turn around. “…” I open my mouth, and I force myself for every single sound: “I’m sorry for hitting you, and for my disrespect… senpai.” I feel dirty, I feel ashamed. Still, this is a small price to pay.

Flamebane’s face is absolutely calm. “You don’t mean it. What are you after?”

“We want to buy mounts.”

“Eighty thousand each.”

For four, it would be 320,000 Newgold. More than what I paid for the decurse attempt so many months ago, which was already enough to buy a small house.

I’m about to charge at Flamebane. I see myself hitting him over and over, then stealing the mounts while laughing scornfully. Kyou-san puts her hand on my arm, making sure to grab me if I really snap. Ara-san is still reading her book, but I see her ears moving slowly in every direction, most likely seeking who to take out first.

“You were right, Flamebane-san,” says Rine in a condemning tone: “You may be experienced, but you’re certainly not great.” …I didn’t expect Rine to come up with such a genius insult. “Let’s go inside, everyone.”

She’s right. Flamebane isn’t important. We may cross paths again, if he sticks to his former plan and travels to Zethtrin, but he’s just a little piece of shit, while we’re facing a whole shitstorm made out of Feuerberg, demons, Correo, and the like. Wasting our time with him won’t do us any good.

We just get enough food to get by for two weeks, turn around, and leave all of those unimportant nobodies in the dust. They boo at us, they throw things roughly in our direction, and leave no doubts about how unwelcomed we are.

“That went well,” says Ara-san lightheartedly, after we leave the place.

“What part of it?” I mean, I know she’s an alfr and therefore has a totally different world-view and emotional life. If she means that we were the bigger people to not pick up a fight, I don’t really feel that way. I feel like a loser, who couldn’t open his mouth or ‘solve’ the problem, whatever it means. Maybe some senseless violence would have been better.

“I mean of course spoiling their provisions by putting some laxative into their crates.”

… “When and how?”

“When you were talking and a combination of grass and [Spirit Magic]. Nobody was paying attention to me or their provisions. Did I do well?”

Kyou-san begins to laugh out loud, even I give a smirk. Rine cocks her head, most likely not entirely understanding what just happened.

Things like that may not help with our reputation or that of alfrkind, but small revenges like that makes it easier to digest the whole shit.

Now it dawns to Rine: “Ara, did you poison them?”

“That’s technically correct.”

“Why would you do something like that?”

“Because I didn’t want them to get away with their insults without punishment. I care about you, after all.” That’s one of the few things Ara-san has understood about her relationship between herself and the rest of us.

“I care about you as well, but I don’t like these underhanded means?”

“So you would have resorted to senseless violence instead? I thought you were going out of your way to avoid it this time.”

“I didn’t want to fight them, but it would have been better.”

“Why?”

“It’s more honest, more direct.”

“Katarine-san, while I agree with it being honest and direct, I disagree with your underlying notion of it being remotely just. If you’re physically superior to your opponent, it’s nothing more than bullying the weak: Rather unfair and only one side has a chance. With my method, I give them a chance at least to discover that someone has messed with their food. This is more than they’d have had if you decided to attack them and subjugate them with force.”

“Kyou, say something,” Rine asks for support.

“Rine-chan, it’s fine. They acted like douchebags, they’ll get to pay the bill. I agree that we should avoid doing this often, but doing bad things to bad guys isn’t too bad, right?”

“You think so? What about you, Kenta?”

“Hey, I was on Ara-san’s side all along.”

Ara-san puts her hand on my chest: “That’s because we’re accomplices.”

“You mean, friends?”

“That as well.”

In a sense, Rine’s the only one in our party that has the faintest thing close to a moral code, though it’s absolutely colored in her self-centered world-view. Still, she has an idea about justice.

The rest of us don’t. Ara-san is a slacker, Kyou-san is a manipulator, and I’m a bit of an asshole. All of us accepted these parts of us that made us bad people, and we’re going with it.

While Rine realized what a brat she was up to now, she still struggles with her morality, or rather: If what she thinks is right is actually right or just a result of her selfish desires.

I guess that part of her will eventually concede, as she will run out of excuses. Strange, I think I will feel a bit sad about it. … …what the heck is that emotion? It feels like a throbbing pain in my heart, and it feels also heavy and cloudy…

I don’t know what it is and I don’t think I like it.