I hate being wed in a fantasy world!

krpg (Author): “How was your team-building experience?”

KK (Katsuragi Kenta): “Horrible.”

RN (Rine aka Katarine von Stolzherz): “I thought it was fine.”

AA (Ara’ainn): “You monster! You gave me all these heroes, and I didn’t learn anything about their statuses! Meanie! Wretch! Abomination!”

MK (Momokawa Kyou): “We all know that he is. But to do that with my friends…”

KK: “Actually, that’s the part I liked the best. I have to say, I did some fine work with musclehead and ponytail.”

MK: “You know, that it will bite us later!?”

RN: “Calm down, please. Remember what we learned in this volume!”

KK: “That brute force is the way to solve your problems?”

RN: “Erm… no.”

MK: “To trust that at least one of us will mess everything up?”

RN: “That’s also not what I-”

AA: “That I’m awesome, and the world picks on me for that?”

RN: “Come on, everyone! It’s about the value of friendship! The heaviness of responsibility! That everything can be turned around by working with each other!”

KK: “…Rine, you’re sure that we were in the same story? I mean, we demolished a bunch of friends, shrugged off any responsibility, and everyone of us did their own thing, basically.”

RN: “You can’t say tha- …oh. I think you might? Author, what is the lesson here?”

krpg: “The lesson here is that there can be circumstances outside of your control, that can hinder you and your goals and dampen your motivations, and getting back on track can be very hard.”

KK: “That’s just your personal life…”

krpg: “Let’s forget about it and start with the Extras. First, we have the non-canonical. Even though I planned to write a Queen Momo, it somehow clashes with another long planned one, because of the fairy tale style, so that’s shelved for now.”

KK: “Gladly.”

MK: “Actually, I’m fine with it. Because we can’t trust this hamster to make me a decent queen.”

krpg: “Therefore, I just put all of you into a world with gaming RPG-rules.”

MK: “…how is that different from usual!?”

KK: “Kyou-san… I have a faint idea and I don’t like it.”

RN: “I’m excited!”

AA: “I mourn the lack of support for another instance of my knowledge by the reader-base…”

krpg: “Then we got our Gottfried Extra, where he takes on a decent challenge for a change. Then we have an Extra that rallies up the Color Rangers to find their own!”

RN: “Oh, that’s interesting!”

KK: “Color Rangers? We’re talking about shitty Super Senta- ouch! What was that for!?”

MK: “Nothing special. I just want him to continue. Nevermind.”

KK: “Hah!?”

krpg: “Then we get to the aforementioned fairy tale, this is a legend of Feuerberg’s founder Hagen von Stolzherz!”

RN: “Cool!”

AA: “Which iteration? I hope you got an adept narrator for this.”

krpg: “The best! Lastly, we got an old section of the April Fool’s Special that has now been transferred to the end.”

KK: “Didn’t a whole year have passed by now? Wouldn’t there be a chance for another.”

krpg: “Didn’t enter, because of health-related issues.”

KK: “At least nobody else got a chance to maim our story… … … Well?”

krpg: “What?”

KK: “This is the part, where you drop a tidbit of information about the next volume.”

krpg: “Ah, Kenta wants to know how the story continues, even though he can’t make use of it. How moving!”

KK: “Shut up! Also, why are you looking at me like that!?”

krpg: “Nevermind that. I just wanted to take a good look at you. Now about the next volume, we have everything. New heroes, old acquaintances, strange alliances, a hell lot of physical pain and mental anguish, a new city, Ara’ainn at her best and worst, and some closure here and there, because it’ll mark the end of the second arc, which would include volume 4 to 8.”

MK: “Ken… stay strong.”

AA: “At least I’m shining, Kenta-kun.”

RN: “Don’t worry, Kenta. You’re strong enough to live through it.”

KK: “Why is the pain and anguish hidden in the midst of the sentence and everyone assumes it’s me who will suffer it? No, don’t say, I know, I know… Any bright side?”

krpg: “Well, we’ll see it in the next volume!”

KK: “Answer my question, dammit!”

Extra 1 – I hate being wed in another kind of RPG-inspired fantasy world!

One of my usual routines is to check my and the girls’ statuses. I do it about eighty times per day. First, it was just to keep track of my level ups, then it was about learning how each activity and injury affect my HP and SP, then it became a comfort, and finally a habit.

Sometimes I also think that I will have a flash of genius and figure something out there. The problem with the hero-system is that there may be a lot of functions still hidden, but as functions like [Class-up]s are basically hidden behind knowing them, I lost all hope of suddenly finding a new kind of function or the like.

Well, today I’m wondering whether I broke the hero-system instead, because it looks different. How different? To describe that, I’d need to go into detail how the UI (user interface) of the usual hero-system is built, which would take too long.

So let’s concentrate on the new one. I open it, and I see nothing but blackness and a single screen, split into several windows. A big one shows me and the girls and our level, HP, and MP, which is new. I mean, useful to not switch between interfaces, but it reminds me of old RPGs like Dragon Quest or Lufia.

Now I move a cursor with my mind, and there are options like [Items], [Status], and [Equipment], and also a grayed out [Save] and [Exit] option, which is the worst kind of joke ever, because I’d love to exit this world or at least save before making any decisions.

With a quick glance at my [Status], I can see that the number of stats have also been reduced to just HP, MP, [Strength], [Dexterity], [Intelligence], and [Agility].

…

I have a hunch here. “Girls, check your status,” I say to them, while I notice that I can’t use my [Pitch]-skill like I used to. “Things are wrong here.”

“Huh?” Rine makes another step, and suddenly, the whole environment begins to flash, and a monster begins to emerge from out of nowhere. It’s a slime!

…

I’ve been in this fantasy world for a couple of months and only now I finally meet a slime!? Wait, is this even the same fantasy world!?

“Kenta, Kenta! I can’t move!” While her feet are planted to the ground, Rine’s body bobs around like she’s doing exercises… that is, exercises that don’t make sense with a sword in her hand.

“Interesting,” says Ara-san, who is in the same position. “Also, somewhat annoying.” I can feel that, as Kyou-san and I are subjected to that same procedure. “Momo, would you mind your breast? That shaking is very distracting!”

“I can’t! And trust me, it’s very uncomfortable, it almost hurts!”

Well, I can’t say that I don’t enjoy this sight, but I’m also concerned that I suddenly have my spear in my hands, despite not drawing it. “Calm down, I think I know what’s going on.”

“THEN STOP IT!” Kyou-san screams. “Ou, why are we shaking!?”

“It’s an… idle animation or something.” At least, that’s the closest that comes to mind, though I’m sure I’m using a wrong term here. Don’t care right now. “Did you notice that our HP and MP bars are in our lower sight? We’re stuck in a new world, with another kind of RPG-system.”

Suddenly, next to Ara-san’s name appears the word [Stun]. … I guess, with this her hundred years of researching heroes has been made a total waste of time. Well, at least her shaking stopped, now she’s on her knees with strange curls around her head. “Ara!!!” At least Rine is concerned.

“OK, OK, I bite,” exclaims Kyou-san, who looks at Ara-san as if she had won a vacation in the lottery. Is that moving really so awful for her? “What kind of RPG?”

“A turn-based one. So we can’t proceed yet. Either the one whose turn it is has to decide what to do, or we all need to make commands, depending on the type.”

“And how do we do that?”

“…maybe saying something? Erm… Escape!” This makes the most sense, as we don’t know how to interact with this kind of system yet.

…

… …

… … …

That didn’t work at all! “Attack! … Attack Slime! Come on, everyone! All say escape now!”

“Erm… escape?” Why do you make it a question, Kyou-san?

“…” Ara-san is still stunned, so she won’t be able to use commands, but in turn-based RPGs, you can run away, even if party-members should be immobile, so I just assume for now that it’s the same.

“Attack!” Rine, why are you boycotting this!? “You run away, and I’ll defeat it!”

Gosh, this idiot! However, now that everyone used a command, we should… No, nothing is happening. So saying your turn out loud doesn’t make you also take that turn.

So what else? There is no menu, there is no cursor on the enemies, so how does it work!? There isn’t a turn bar either, so nothing that indicates whether we even can decide actions at the moment.

By the way, isn’t having a turn-based RPG-like world like a really bad idea? I mean, aside from these idle animations that I’m already sick of—in several ways—, taking away our freedom to move and do whatever is right at that moment to instead be in that artificial break where we have time to think about our moves, to coordinate our actions, to make most use of every set moment in combat, while each enemy can only attack whenever we pass the turn to them, I mean… isn’t it much better than what we had before? I mean, by a mile!?

“Strike! Slash! Pummel! Obliterate! Eradicate!” Rine tries different words to finally get into attacking. “Kenta, nothing works! Even though it says attack at the bottom of my view, I can’t do it!”

… “JUST USE THAT COMMAND LIKE THE HERO-SYSTEM, DAMMIT!” Seriously, I should have known. So the one whose turn it is can input a command and therefore continue the battle.

Rine jumps forward, swings her sword, and then the slime is here, and there, some parts of it are all the way over there, it was reduced into a slimy rain including several inner organs that I didn’t expect from it… especially given that it was translucent and I should have seen those organs.

Now if I’m right, we should get into a victory pose or so… not looking forward to it. … Or not, I mean, we even skipped the tree, but at least the idle animations have stopped and suddenly, Ara-san begins to move again: “What did I miss?”

“To sum it up, either the hero-system changed or we suddenly moved into another kind of fantasy world with different rules to it, and now we’re in a turn-based combat RPG, though there is no rhyme or reason why we have idle animations, but no victory pose, and overall we- Rine, don’t move! Damn you, random encounters!” I swear, as Rine took two steps only to trigger the next encounter, this time we’re facing eight slimes.

So much randomness! Well, Rine quickly takes her turn, demolishing a slime, but then one of them attacks her. Well, she can easily do- “Ouch!” …looks like Rine can’t dodge it, because of her idle animation and because dodge is a very underrepresented stat in turn-based RPGs.

Why are slimes fast in the first place? Three are coming, I try to block it, but my body is too busy moving on its own. “Ou, ou, ou!” It hurts! Even worse than in the other world, because I can’t even brace myself!

“Oh, it’s my turn.” Now in between is Ara-san, which shows some kind of randomizing of initiative order or enemy stats. “Let’s see… Hm… Ah… Well…”

“Arako, just do something already!”

“Don’t pressure me. Just now, my research for the last century has been made obsolete, but what is a century? Ah, I know. More time than you can imagine, silly me.” Oh god, she has snapped! “You don’t have to be alerted. I will just start anew. Let’s conduct our first experiment that is, if there is a time restriction to make your turn.”

…don’t tell me…

“ARAKO! STOP IT! OR I’LL MURDER YOU, WHEN I’M GETTING OUT OF IT!”

“You fail to see the beauty of it: If there is no time limit, you won’t get out so easily. I guess, we have to wait until you have calmed down Momo.”

“Ara-san,” I try to bargain, “let’s not be hasty here and… DID YOU FALL ASLEEP!” I don’t know if I’m supposed to be impressed, that sloth Ara-san is able to take a nap even during an idle animation. Why doesn’t she lay down and get the [Sleep]-condition? Don’t tell me, that she’s just daydreaming to keep her turn up!

“WAKE UP, ARA-SAN!”

“ARAKO! ARAKO!”

“Ara, I’m about to get angry.”

Of course, nothing we yell at her makes her take her turn, as she’s probably dead set on trying out how long she can stall. This screaming is exhausting and makes my throat dry though.

Also, it’s starting to rain. It’s getting cold.

Maybe that’s why nobody even dared to imagine being summoned to an RPG-based world with a turn-based system… I sure hope that this world has no alfar or other trolls that would absolutely exploit this combat-style.

I hate this world even more than the old one.

Extra 2 – Gottfried vs. Godspeed

They have barely passed the Ohl. Gottfried yawns inside a small city that is north to the swamps. Meldorn went to look for the track, an endeavor that may take days, but is still faster than any alternative.

Having the Huntsman act on his own and fetch them later was the sensible choice. It’s not like any of them had anything to provide and Meldorn will be quicker alone. Therefore, recuperating at the city seems like the best option, even though Gottfried is treated like a calamity after he left his name at the gate. Rightfully so, but while it may have been flattering for the first few years after making a name, it grows old even faster than Gottfried himself.

They’ve been here for three days already. Gottfried ends his morning jog, accompanied by one of the local militia, who could barely even carry a sword at his hip without hurting himself and insulting the blade. Other than the old man, the lad was huffing and puffing, even though they only went at a rabbits speed for an hour.

It’s actually Gottfried that has a right to groan, as his knees feel like they’re about to fall apart, his shoulders move like angular rods in a circular hole, and his back feeling like someone shoved a blazing hot bar into it. That’s the reason why he retired as a knight in the first place.

Uttering silent self-recriminations for his mental weakness for a moment, he places the hand on the door of the inn they’re staying in. A sudden jolt moves through his body, anticipation. His fighting instincts, honed by many decades detected an at least decent challenge.

He opens the door and looks for the only person who would pass his stern requirements on how to properly carry a weapon. There he is, a man in his mid-thirties, around the age of Meldorn. A good age. A sharp nose, an angular face that almost looks like a blade itself. Dark eyes, the hair has been shaved. A lanky body, but everything on his long bones is purposeful muscle.

The man looks at Gottfried and this is the first time the old man feels displeased. There was power in this stare, confidence, but the latter was also paired with some arrogance. However, this dissatisfaction stems from Gottfried’s own experience, as he was looking like that in his youth as well.

Without saying a word, Gottfried points outside. The man nods gracefully and then both of them walk outside the city. The militiaman follows them, no one exchanging a single word. Gottfried and his new challenger both know what they want and what they’ll do, so they have no need to talk, except for the usual pre-battle banter.

The militiaman stops at the gate, most likely knowing that this is not a place he should treat. The silent walk goes for half an hour, then they stop at a rocky plain. A lot of space, good footing, no peanut gallery.

“I’m glad that I found you. I heard that you were here and ran through the night to meet you.”

“With legs as long as yours, it looks easy.”

“My alias is Godspeed, after all.” In the time of a blink, the man has distanced himself from Gottfried, too fast to follow. “Is this distance alright?”

“Doesn’t matter. Seems like I’m not the one who does the running here.” Gottfried knows that he won’t be able to keep up with this speed, so why bother?

“How do we give the signal?”

“I’ll throw this coin in the air. While it’s in the air, we take our stances, when it hits the ground, the duel starts.” Not very formal, also unfair as Gottfried would decide the time given between stance and start, but as there are no referees here, it has to do.

“Fine with me.”

Gottfried tosses the coin and his opponent begins to slightly jump on his toes, which isn’t a battle stance and therefore a rude gesture before the battle, that’s actually a violation of dueling rules.

Therefore, instead of taking his usual battle-stance, the retired knight draws the sword, makes a quick, low swing, and then relaxes his entire body in an instant. For this one, he has to be fluent like water.

The coin hits the ground.

Danger from left. While Gottfried lacks the speed, he has his instincts that lend him foresight of his opponents’ move. With the single clash, Gottfried feels the thought of his opponent. I’m faster than him. He’s right.

Using the speed advantage, Godspeed disappears and reappears in some distance, then at the right, the left, to every direction around Gottfried while sending flying cuts at him, each of them with enough power to kill.

All of them will hit around the same time, it’s like building a meat-grinder surrounding the retired knight. With a stomp, Gottfried creates a small shockwave around himself, strong enough to deflect all of the attacks, but the danger comes from behind, in the form of a flying thrust Gottfried parries with his sword. That’s the reason the old man used the foot for defense before, but his opponent was now in his dead space, yet the former knight hits the flat of the opponent’s blade with his fist without even looking at it, feeling his thoughts again: He can’t keep up. Right again.

Godspeed falls back again, seemingly creating blurred copies of himself, though he’s just looking for an angle to attack. As Gottfried stands his ground, he could use minute movements to discourage his opponent from an assault, but this is mentally very taxing.

“I admit,” Gottfried says half-laughing: “You got me beat in speed. This is a great accomplishment, I doubt even at my prime I’d be able to catch you in tag. Speed, endurance to keep it up, tactics that use it efficiently, you’re the first decent challenge I had in a while.”

“Decent? Then I have to show more.”

“Gladly, because this grows boring.” Gottfried grips his sword harder and makes a single strike. For a moment, there was the cracking of air, and Godspeed began to walk slower and slower.

For his own surprise. “Wha- what!? How!?”

Gottfried smiles. “I cut your speed. Now show me your next trick.”

“Yo-You cut my speed!? How!?”

“Training, dedication, and breaking boundaries. If there are people faster than you, you better find ways to deal with that.”

To Gottfried’s surprise, Godspeed charges at him, but every movement was at a more manageable pace. While the younger swordsman is definitely extremely fast, even in his current condition, his close-quarter skills still need improvement. While Godspeed appears to be calm, his blade tells his true feelings. Give it back!

“So only that one trick… you’re just a one-trick pony, that got good at one thing and more or less muscled its way through everything using it. The world is big, Pony. You need more than one gimmick.” With this, Gottfried parried the incoming [Vibroblade] with a single swing, just by twirling the blade a bit on contact, that redirected that skill’s power. While Godspeed could keep a hold of his blade, another twirl puts Gottfried’s blade at his throat. “You lost.”

“…” Pony says nothing, but his stare says everything.

“If you’re so confident that you’d win at full speed, just wait a few more seconds and go to that spot. That’s where you were when I cut your speed.”

Jumping at the chance to redeem himself, Pony does exactly that. The speed-drop subsides and this time, Pony seems to vanish. Gottfried jumps to the side, then comes the sound of flesh and bones hitting the ground at great speed.

Where Gottfried was just a moment before, there lies most of Pony, covered by bruises and his own blood, as he had suddenly hit the ground. Like mentioned, it was just most of him, as his legs were missing below the knees, they flew in random directions. “…how…?”

“Let me tell you. Remember when you hopped while the coin was in the air? As this is already a violation of dueling rules, I made a small cut at the level of your knees during that time. It persisted. That’s all.” Gottfried’s words obviously crushed Pony’s mind.

The faster something is, the more force it brings. If you’re much faster than your opponent, you won’t be hit and can’t be parried. Putting all effort of building up and maintaining speed seems to be like a logical, overwhelming choice. The faster you are, the more time you have for everything.

“The world is big,” Gottfried repeats, “and I had plenty of other ways to deal with you, Pony. You may have now lost your legs, but use it as an opportunity to improve. Your idea was misled, but there is actual potential in you. Don’t waste it.”

Gottfried turns around, leaving the man, who needs a new alias, on his own. It’s highly doubtful if the legs can be saved, but this is part of the risk of reaching the top of the world.

If Gottfried’s opponent learns from that defeat, he may become capable. Crushing defeats are the best teachers, after all.