I hate being wed in a fantasy world!

Fake Volume 7 Prologue

I’d like to introduce the story of a woman named Lysenthia:

Once, many age ago, an airship departed from a land known only as Glist. Most details are lost to time, because shortly afterwards the land fell to ruins, succumbing to invasion by some other land whose name has also been long ago forgotten. The reason we know anything at all is because of that airship.

It flew on a pilgrimage to the Sky Islands--another place that no longer exists. The people of Glist worshipped the sky and found the highest place they could find, a series of floating pieces of land that stayed in place above their biggest city, ever so slightly out of reach.

Scientists, mages, engineers, soothsayers all teamed up and worked together to create the technology needed to reach the Sky Islands. After centuries of failed attempts and wishful thinking, the elite in Glist knew they needed to reach the heavens and put their entire efforts into accomplishing it.

Then, after decades, their work was finally complete. They had created an airship, one so powerful it could reach those Sky Islands and climb even higher if it so wished. It was powered by the mana in the air field itself, so it could be powered indefinitely.

This technology was so advanced that the rest of the world could not have even conceived of such a thing. An airship from Glist could conquer the world.

But, for reasons that are now unknown, they never even tried.

Instead, the airship travelled to nearby lands, collecting goods, recruiting women and gathering books from various cultures. They cultivated plantlife and animals of all sorts, giving each part of the ecosystem its share

The lands around Glist, none of which survive to this day, each contributed symbols of themselves to the airship, creating an entire microcosmic world. With this assemblage of all the greatest elements of the world together, the airship would go to the Sky Islands, find whatever treasures or secrets were there, and create a temple to the sky.

So that airship departed on its first journey to those Sky Islands...

And it never returned.

Glist fell and faded from history. Its entire lore is known only to the most vested of scholars, or the annoyed friends of those most vested scholars in my case.

We don’t know if the airship reached the Sky Islands, or what they may have found up there when they reached it. We do know, though, that those on the airship did not stay on the islands. That is because the islands fell, crashed down to the surface and destroyed the cities below them. That event, too, was many ages ago, but it was such an event that it is the most important piece of history in the current kingdom of Kin’you.

The Sky Islands fell... but the airship did not.

For centuries afterwards, there were rumors and myths about the airship. Sightings of a ship in places that had hardly invented the wheel. Reports of a ship so massive it could block out the sun over an entire village. Tales of a ship that brought good luck and fortune wherever it went, or in some places served as a bad omen whose arrival would portend the end of nations.

The reason this is all so important is because this airship’s existence has finally been confirmed. All along, these rumors proved true--a giant airship from ages past had survived afloat, sailing the skies and thriving as a city apart from the rest of the world.

It has finally landed outside the kingdom of Y-Vyl, a small and isolated kingdom itself, in the vast Ghebian Plains that separates it from the rest of civilization on its continent.

I learned all about this recently because of a traveller who spoke to me at the local pub and exclaimed in great detail all the wonders this ship had brought. He seemed crazed, almost idiotic. I almost declined to believe him until he showed me proof: a magical artifact with the insignia of Glist itself.

And what’s more... he gave me a detail etched in my mind for every waking moment since then. A detail that is the exact reason why we are travelling to Y-Vyl today:

The ruler of the airship, Princess Lysenthia, is a very, very special woman. She seemed to be a hero, a hero who is known to use the hero-system like no one else by using her marriage, unlocking vast power beyond anything else the world has seen. Does she use WP as well? Does she also have the Lion’s Wedding Rings, somehow?

If that’s the case, she might also know how to end a marriage.

And she might know the secrets behind WP to begin with. Its entire origin.

I am going to meet Lysenthia and her eleven wives, and finally figure out how to go my own way.

―○●○―

“Keeeeeeeentaaaaaaaa!”

I give a crooked smile to Kyou-san. “You called me Kenta.”

“Yeeeeah I did!!!!”

“This is extremely strange and I do not like it.”

“My lovely Kenta.”

“Please stop, Kyou-san. It’s scaring me.”

We are in a carriage heading out to the Ghebian Plains right now, and all three of my wives are acting very strange.

Ara-san is knitting a sweater. “I have so many ideas about how to greet Lysenthia, but I don’t have enough presents to give her!”

“Presents...” I can’t believe what’s going on right now.

Maybe I should have been less honest with them. I told them upfront that our marriages would be ending as soon as Lysenthia taught us the skills needed to break up. I thought lying to them would be useless and only cause hard feelings. Telling the truth was hard, but it made everything better....

Maybe...

Everyone is acting so weird right now that I can hardly stand it.

“Rine-chan, stop standing on your head.”

“I’m practicing my balancing.”

“That’s so adorrrraaaaable!” Kyou-san squeals and pierces my ear.

I think I lost some HP from that attack.

“How long until we arrive?” Ara-san asks.

“Yeah, Keeeeenta. How long?”

“I don’t know. Ask the driver.”

“Hey driver!” Ara-san shouts. “How long until we arrive?”

“Look out the window,” the driver says.

We look out the window.

Oh.

We’re already here.

The airship is as massive as legend suggests. It’s more gigantic than anything I’ve ever seen in a flying object, and has a completely different design than any airship I’ve ever encountered. In games, that is. I’ve never seen a real fucking airship in my entire life!

It’s made of stone. Not wood. And yet it floats anyway. How can this be? I want to know all about this ancient technology.

You see, after we entered the Spirit Swamp, everything in our lives went badly. We had that really long fight with Lvo'tjos, Rine-san and Kyou-san both had interesting breakdowns, and then we began our trip to Zethrin.

I wanted to fight the demon king, just like I have been wanting to do for so long.

But...

The promise that Lysenthia has given to me... It’s too much.

I enjoy the presence of Kyou-san, Ara-san, and even Rine-san. They are my friends and I like them. But I do not want to be married to them anymore. We get WP for our actions, but we are bound too closely. They are burdened by the curse I have put on them and forced to join me on my journey.

We will end this curse and be on our way.

The carriage arrives in front of a group of soldiers and we get out together, all four of us holding hands.

You gain 2 WP.

Holding hands is a great way to make some happiness in this world. Being married is great, isn’t it?

Wow, gee.

The soldiers gather in front of us and prepare to lead us to the airship.

For some reason, the soldiers look strangely at me... I somehow have the feeling that... I don’t even know, but it feels weird. Not hostile, but... well... I can’t describe it. The captain, however, takes the cake: “Thank you, Red Ranger.” He bows to me!

Why is he bowing to me?

Oh well.

We enter the airship. My friends and me.

It is a grand hall filled with items from the ancient past. Plants grow freely on the floor and the entire thing has the beauty of ancient architecture, but with the wild element of nature. It’s a sight to behold.

Ara-san and Kyou-san begin to cuddle up together. I am starting to wonder about those two...

If the two were not each married to me, maybe they would never have met. But now that they have, they are closer than any people I have seen before. It makes me happy, but almost a little bit jealous as well...

Finally, we reach Lysenthia, who sits at a throne atop a great many steps. All eleven of her wives are by her side.

“Welcome to the airship,” Lysenthia says. “It is good to see another face stricken by the curse of Wife Points.”

“‘Welcome to the airship...’ Bah.” Ara-san has one of her ears laying on her head while she says in a slightly annoyed tone: “I believe that 'The Pimp's Crochet Society' would be more appropriate.”

“Ara-san! That’s so rude. Why are you even saying that?”

“Pay her no mind,” Lysenthia says. “For soon you shall be rid of her.”

“And all three of them?”

“Yes.”

“Forever?”

“Yes.”

“And how do I accomplish that?”

“I’ll tell you, but it’s a secret. I’ll have to whisper in your ear. So please come up the stairs to greet me.”

Kyou-san, who has been very silly up to this point, becomes quite serious. “You shouldn’t go.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a trap.”

“A trap?”

“I mean, probably.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Lysenthia doesn’t know how to break the curse. Why else would she have eleven wives?”

“Fair point...”

“I’ll bet you a billion yen that if you get up there, some crazy stuff will happen and she’ll end up marrying you. Then you’ll be her twelfth wife and we’ll just be bonus girls for her.”

“Twelfth wife? But I’m a man????”

“No difference to a woman like Lysenthia.”

“If you thought all this, then why didn’t you say anything????”

Kyou-san shrugs.

“If all that is true, it’s too bad, but I will not deviate from my current course.”

“Oh well.”

“Yep.”

I step up the long stairs, tensing myself and bracing myself for everything Kyou-san told me. What if she’s right? What if this is a trap?

Lysenthia seems nice though. And the other eleven women up there seem very pretty and attractive. I would look very silly in that group, so she probably won’t do anything like that... right...?

But I need to figure out the secrets of WP. How long has it been in place? How many wives can someone have? How can I defeat the curse and get rid of these awful people forever? Though they are my friends and I love my friends who I am always friendly with, we need to be divorced. We need to go our separate ways.

I wonder if I can bake with WP...

I reach Lysenthia. She beckons me closer. I lean in. She puts a hand on my shoulder. Another around my waist.

She whispers in my ear:

“It’s time for a dance-off.”

An unmistakable, yet unfamiliar energy surrounds us. She steps back. So do I.

We both know how this is gonna go down.

Earth, Wind, and Fire music began playing on the airship’s sound speakers.

“I just have one thing to say to you.”

“What’s that, Kenta-dono?”

We begin dancing to the disco beat of “In the Stone.” It’s a jam of epic proportions. Both our sets of wives are utterly captivated by the scene going on.

“In the stone, you’ll find the meaning/You’re not standing tall”

“I love this song,” Lysenthia says.

“And I love you,” I say.

“....You do??????”

“No,” I say. “April fools.”

I collapse on the floor and lose all my HP at once.

I die.